The Right to Live
by Eilwynn
Summary: Freed from her cage, Uzumaki Naruto sets out to show the world all that it takes for granted. Rated for safety. WARNING: FemNaruto, with eventual romantic relationships with male characters. Up for adoption, with beta-ing by me!
1. Prologue

**The Right to Live **

_Prologue_

_In my earliest memories, I am alone._

_The world of my childhood is an isolated one. It consists of a single room, twenty steps wide and ten steps long. I have counted so many times, I know without even having to think about it._

_The walls and floor and ceiling are all made of wood. Not a thick wood, strong and sure and protective, but a thin, flimsy wood, poor as the clothes on the backs of the people it holds. There are cracks in this wood, slats of in-between, after one plank ends and before the next begins, and I watch the outside through the cracks in my world._

_Everything I know, I learn through these cracks. _

_I watch the people passing by, the children and the adults, walk, and I imitate their movement. I listen to them talk, and I learn to understand them. I listen to the children especially, because I learn the most from them._

_It is from the children that I learn how to count the steps across my Room. It is from the children that I learn that the gold which pours through the slats in one of the walls sometimes is the sun, and when the gold disappears and the fainter white light replaces it, it is from the moon and the stars. I can even see them sometimes, through the big crack in the Wall Where the Light Pours Through. The soft moon and the bright sun and the friendly, twinkling stars. And when I look at them, it makes me feel warm, and I can almost believe that I am human and just like everyone else. _

_But I'm not. I'm a monster, and I don't deserve to play like the other children._

_At least, that's what She says._

_She is the only person who ever enters my world. I think She is the only person who even knows I exist. _

_She is small and bony, but appears as if She was once quite large and warm. Her face is full of laugh lines, but they seem like they haven't been used in Her lifetime, like someone else in some other body used those laugh lines and then forgot to take them off for Her. But maybe it is just me. Maybe it is the cold black eyes She stares at me with that make Her seem that way. Maybe She smiles when She is not around me._

_Maybe._

_She does everything for me. She is the one who empties my chamber-pot (a silly name if you ask me, but of course, no one asks me) once a day, and She is the one who washes me when I start to smell too bad. I love the washing-days, even though She is always very rough and my skin is red and raw afterward. When She touches me, I get the same shiver I get when I look at the stars, and I wonder if all people are as warm as She is. _

_She is also the one who enters my Room once a day to set my bowl of food down in front of me and tell me I am a nasty little monster pretending to be a human, and I don't deserve to play like the other children. She says this every day, and I often wonder why She is so repetitive. Does She think I will forget?_

_I know what monsters are. I hear about them in stories read to the children at night. In those stories, monsters are ugly, scary things that like to hurt people, especially little children. Is that why they lock me up? Because they think I would do that too? I wouldn't do that; I wouldn't hurt people. I think there should be a story about a nice monster, and I tell Her so the next time I see Her._

_She doesn't like that at all._

_Quicker than I can blink, She's across the Room and Her palm slaps me across the face. Suddenly, She's not so cold and distant anymore. She is screaming, and Her eyes make Her look like She's on fire. She screams and screams and screams, and then, abruptly, She stops. Her face is suddenly blank, like the Door slamming shut behind Her as She leaves and doesn't come back for more than two days._

_The entire time, I am too frightened to tell Her that She is wrong. I never killed Her daughter. _

_I know what daughters are too. Daughters are a certain type of child. There are a lot of them here. _

_I hear people talking sometimes about how there are so many children here because they are all orphans._

_Most children have parents, adults to look after just them and tell them they're special. But orphans don't. So the orphaned children wait here, and adults who can't make children, but still want some, come here and pick out a child to take home. I wonder once why no adults ever come in to see me, but then conclude that it's because no one would ever want a monster for a child. Perhaps She simply never bothered to mention me to anyone._

_Sometimes I accept this. _

_Sometimes I accept, with that comfortable numbness that has become such a part of me, that I am a monster and I don't belong with them and that's just the way it is._

_Sometimes I can't._

_Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I had parents once too. I wonder if they were monsters like me. I wonder if they were nice monsters, or if they were like the monsters in those stories._

_Sometimes, I wonder if they were even monsters at all. I wonder if they were people, just like everyone else, and if they were very horrified when they had me instead of a nice, pretty, normal child. I wonder if they left me here to die._

_I know about death. All orphans do. When your life ends, and you leave everything behind._

_And whenever I think about this… whenever I can't accept and can't help but wonder… I can't help it. I scream._

_The numbness, the nice, comfortable numbness, abandons me, and all the feelings it hides me from hunt me down and hold me to the ground and take turns biting at my legs and my arms and my face, until they get to my meat and my bones and my heart and they eat those too, and then I am nothing but them. Pain. Anger. Self-hatred. Loneliness._

_The children become frightened by my screaming. They think there is a ghost in the walls. Maybe there is. Maybe that's what I am._

_A ghost._

_But I never scream for long. I get tired and my throat starts to hurt and no one comes to help me. Why would they? So I stop. And the numbness comes back and wraps me in its embrace again._

_I quickly learn that screaming and crying don't get you anywhere except where you already are, so I find other things to think about. Less painful things._

_I watch the moon and the stars and the clouds and I make up stories about them. I watch bugs crawl around through the cracks in my Room's wooden floor. I watch the children play together. I listen to them talk and soak in as much about the world outside (which is a constant, vague curiosity itching at the back of my mind) as I can from them. I look through cracks in the Wall Where the Light Pours Through to the only view I have of the world outside the orphanage. There is a tall tree in the yard, and beyond it are sloping red and brown tiled roofs, leading all the way to a great stone mountain, too far away to see properly._

_Sometimes I lie by the Wall, rough splinters digging into my back, in the heat of the day when the sun is the highest, and I let the lazy warmth soak into me._

_Sometimes, when I am pervaded by a certain morbid curiosity, I examine myself._

_I am horribly thin. I know this from looking at other children and then comparing them to me. I can see all of the bones that hold in my stomach on either side (I think I once heard someone call them "rids", another silly name) with ease no one else can. My skin is a chalky yellowish-white. The only thing I like about myself is my hair, which falls to my waist. When it is freshly washed, it is a golden color, like the sun. I always try to keep it clean for as long as possible because when it is not clean, it is the color of the "piss" she tells me to "go" in the chamber-pot._

_I have no clothes. She has never given me any, and I know better than to ask._

_Sometimes I just sit. I don't think, I don't feel, I don't do anything but sit. And I can't see, and I can't hear, and I can't smell. _

_I am nothing._

_I am nothing, waiting for someone to make me into something._

_This is my world._

_I do not question my world, or that I belong here, or that I deserve it, or that it is even something to be deserved. It simply is. _

_And if I sometimes feel… dissatisfied… or restless… it is only in passing. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to live, just for a day, outside the walls of my Room, in the same way I wonder what it would be like to be a star._

_It's nice to think about, but it will probably never happen. _

_The possibilities would be endless, but all those possibilities are forever beyond my reach. _

_This is easy to accept. I have never had any reason not to._

_But sometimes, I look out at all the people who pass by me every day, and I think that I would never take the right to live for granted as much as they do. I would rejoice in my freedom every day of my life._

_Such thoughts are fleeting, like a butterfly passing by the Wall as I dare to reach through a crack to brush my fingers against its wings… and the numbness is Her, and She bursts in and pulls me back by the ear and yells at me for so long, I stop listening to Her. She always says the same old things anyway._

_And I feel a brief flash of something else as I curl up in the corner and pretend I don't exist again. _

_Anger. At Her. At the numbness. At myself, for giving in to them._

_This, too, fades. I am nothing again._

_My world. _

_I remember the exact day, the exact moment, when it all changed. The exact moment when She lost Her power over me._

_Looking back, I remember it as the best day of my life._

_At the time, I thought of it as anything but._


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter One_

It is quiet. The older children are busy in their schoolroom and the younger ones are napping, so there is nothing around to make any noise. The sun is not quite up to the highest point in the sky yet, but it's close. It is especially hot today, but a soothing breeze wafts through The Wall, as if to counteract it. My only, passing thought is that it's rather nice of the breeze to help everyone out like that.

Somewhere, a door opens and closes and two people start talking to each other. I can't make out what they're saying, but it's not as if this is an unusual thing, so I ignore it. I am lying flat on my stomach, staring down through the floor at a colony of ants making an anthill. I listen carefully for the sounds of their tiny legs scurrying about, always busy, and I watch their work slowly but surely progress as they make something from nothing. This process so mesmerizes me that I almost miss the voices getting louder. Louder, but not closer. Finally, they sound as if they're shouting at each other, and one of the voices sounds like… Hers. Curious, I tilt my head up to listen, but at that moment, Her voice abruptly stops. The other voice continues talking, lower now. I still can't make out the words.

I shrug and turn back to my anthill. It's probably not anything important anyway.

A door opens and closes again somewhere above, but my first hint that something is about to happen is the footsteps. They are soft, almost impossible to hear, but I do hear them in the quiet. Her footsteps are much louder than these ones, so it can't be Her. Whoever it is, I assume they're going to the schoolroom for a meeting with one of the older children.

I am endlessly confused, and a little wary, when they stop by my Room. "Is this it?" I wince at the man's tone. It is abrupt, cutting, and very dangerous. I know that instinctively. It is the tone of one who is forcing themselves not to scream. She has used it many a time on me.

Speaking of Her…

"It is." Her voice is just as cold as his, but I hear a hint of something behind it. Has She been… crying? I wonder, slightly awed at the thought. I have no more time to ponder this, however, because at that moment, The Door opens.

And for the first time in my life, it isn't Her on the other side. It's a man.

He wears clothes finer than any I have ever seen, even on the brief glimpses I've had of potential parents. A long, dress-like cloth, bright white, trimmed with dark red and very soft-looking, adorns his body. Something is tied around his neck by string, hanging down his back. He is small and thin, with silver hair and goatee, a wrinkled face, and deep-set, dark eyes. Despite his obvious age, he carries himself with an air that says it would be unwise to assume he is in any way helpless.

He also looks inordinately sad. And, behind that, extremely angry.

None of this takes precedence to my most shocking observation. He is staring straight at me.

No one, aside from Her, has ever actually looked at me. Seen me. Like I exist. Like I am more than a ghost.

It shouldn't be… but it's terrifying. I freeze in my place, lying there on the floor, helpless. My entire universe tilts off its axis.

There is a moment of silence. Finally, he speaks, "… Cat." A long, bony finger pokes out of his sleeve at me. I flinch instinctively, but inside, I am confused. What is a ... "cat"?

"Cat", I discover, is a person. She wears all black, except for her mask, which is white and has strange markings on it. She is tall and slim, and her long dark hair hangs down her back in a high ponytail. She has strange things attached to her legs, little boxes and pouches, and something long and metal pokes out from behind one shoulder at an odd angle, strapped around at her front. There are no holes in the mask for her eyes to see through, but somehow, she is looking at me anyway, her unseeing stare utterly intimidating.

She walks forward.

I am suddenly startled out of my stunned reverie, and I scramble frantically back, pushing myself against the wall, away from her. I do not know who these people are, but I don't like them. They burst right in, without warning, and they act like they belong here in my world, like they always have; but they don't, and they haven't. She might become angry with me sometimes, but She protects me from the outside world. She let the monster live when others would have had it die. And I might get angry at Her sometimes, but I don't want to leave Her. I don't want to leave this place.

It is all I know.

I have always been curious about the outside world, but now, staring at these mysterious, frightening people, I wish I hadn't been. Because surely they heard my thoughts, and they became angry, and that is why they have come for me.

Cat pauses.

I hope that perhaps my fear is enough to appease them; perhaps they see that I have repented my insolence, and I am really no threat, anyway. Perhaps they will leave, and let me hide away again.

No such luck. Cat gathers herself up, as if to steel herself, and continues toward me. I shift sideways, trying to throw myself into the corner, _away from her,_ knowing it is hopeless and yet unwilling to give up.

I have only experienced the most distant kinds of pain, and yet that is enough. I have no desire to experience any more of it. And I know that if they catch me, they will punish me. Punish me for daring to wish that I was human. Punish me for being so ungrateful as to want more than my life, when I do not even deserve that.

She is so fast; I don't even see her move. All I know is that one moment, Cat is at least halfway across the room from me and the next, I am gathered up in her (very warm) arms.

I freeze again, unused to the feeling of someone's arms around me, terrified of her incredible speed, and confused as to why my punishment has not yet begun. Not knowing what to do, I resort to my oldest defense mechanism.

I lock all my feelings away behind the numbness, and I pretend I don't exist.

I lie there, limp, as she wraps her dark cloak around me. It smells… odd, but not in an unpleasant way, and it itches against my skin. I allow myself only the vaguest curiosity about what is going on as I listen again for the comforting sound of the ants under the floor. Still moving about, undisturbed by the changes of the world above them. The thought brings me an odd sense of calm…

Which abruptly shatters at the man's next words. "Take her outside and wait for me there," he says abruptly, waving his hand at Cat without taking his eyes off Her… who still hasn't taken Her eyes off him. I can't help the gasp that releases from my throat at these words.

_Outside?_

My gaze flashes to Her, disbelieving that She would let them do such a thing. Take me so far away from the meager protection I have.

She doesn't say a thing. She doesn't even look at me. She just stands there… and Her eyes make Her look like She's on fire again. In that moment, She ceases to be my protector, ceases to be my warden. She's just a lonely, bitter old woman who never cared for me anyway.

This is the first time I ever really learn about the world, and it leaves me feeling utterly alone.

Feeling as if the universe is caving in around me, as if I have forgotten how to breathe and I must re-teach myself, for She is gone and _there is no one around, _no one left to teach me, no one left to protect the monster who doesn't want to hurt people and maybe never did, no one left because I was deluding myself and _there was no one there in the first place, _I stare at Her (no, I stare at… what is it the other kids call her? The matron?) as Cat carries me past the old man and out The Door. And as The Door ceases to become my barrier and instead becomes my gateway… as stupid as it is… as naïve as I know I must always have been _(what was I thinking? who would ever care for a monster?)… _I know what it is to be betrayed.

* * *

Cat

She's so small. I feel like I'm carrying a baby bird in my hands.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. When Hokage-sama first assigned an ANBU to watch over the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki in secret, just a few months after the attack, he found nothing odd in the fact that the ANBU didn't actually see her because she wasn't let outside. He had put a tracker on the Jinchuuriki before handing her over to the matron of the Konoha Childrens' Home, so he knew she was still within the perimeters of the Home, and not dead or seriously injured. The jutsu was not, however, specific enough to tell him exactly where she was on the grounds of the Home or anything more about her state of well-being. He knew the matron, kind woman though she normally was, had lost her only living family, her daughter, in the Kyuubi attack, so he was worried. He was afraid she might be hitting her or hurting her in some other minor way.

As soon as he could afford to, he sent an ANBU out to watch the Home for the Jinchuuriki in secret for an entire day, looking for any inappropriate behavior. He took the ANBU's assertion that he did not see the Jinchuuriki on the grounds or through any of the outer windows to mean that the matron was being cautious and keeping her away from prying and ill-wishing eyes. Hokage-sama kept the jutsu up, but did not assign another ANBU to check on the Jinchuuriki for quite a few months. He was busy trying to get the village back on its feet and assumed the matron was doing her job correctly.

The next ANBU he sent out, more than a year later, reported the same thing. The Jinchuuriki could not be seen through any conventional means. Again, he did not find this odd. She was, after all, only two. Thereafter, he had an ANBU go to check up on the Jinchuuriki every six months. They all reported the same thing, I was even assigned the duty once myself, and by the time she turned five, Hokage-sama's explanations were running out. He wrote a brief note to the matron himself, inquiring if all was well. She wrote back, assuring him it was, and mentioning, perhaps on a vague suspicion, that Naruto-chan was a very shy girl. She didn't get along well with the other children.

The genin who delivered the message did note that the matron had looked almost frightened when presented a letter with the Hokage's seal on it.

After this, Hokage-sama assigned ANBU to guard duty more frequently, sometimes as much as once a week. The reports were all exactly the same.

Finally, about a month after the sixth anniversary of the Kyuubi attack, Hokage-sama became worried enough to visit the Home himself. Only one ANBU, myself, accompanied him from the shadows, as is customary during an in-village outing in a time of peace with no current foreign visitors. I waited just outside as he entered the building.

Shortly afterward, I heard distressed, adult shouting and entered the building, assuming the worst. But, oddly enough, no one seemed injured and nothing was out of place… aside from the killing intent permeating the room, originating from Hokage-sama himself. I was shocked; Hokage-sama almost never loses control like that. The matron was huddled in front of him, tears pouring down her face, but behind them, there was a furious, defiant sort of anger that increased my foreboding.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"… Hokage-sama? Is there a situation?" I finally asked.

He closed his eyes for a moment and reined his killing intent in with a visible effort. I gave the matron an unseen glance out of the corner of my eye. Hokage-sama is a very even-tempered man; what on Earth had she said?

"We have been misinformed," was all Hokage-sama said in reply, his voice the eerie calm of one who's really not. He swept off toward a staircase at the far end of the room without another word. I went after him, expecting a child perhaps beaten or abused; a part of me was expecting a corpse.

But even I wasn't prepared for what we found.

She was tiny, even for a six-year-old, and horribly malnourished. She was little more than a skeleton with flesh put over it, and the bones in her face jutted out in a way reminiscent of starving prisoners in an enemy camp. She was a chalky pale, like she'd never seen the sun. She probably hadn't. Her dirty, naked body squirmed pitifully on the floor and her eyes, much too big for her head, gazed up at us in mute terror.

It was one of the saddest sights I think I've ever seen, and coming from an ANBU, that's saying something.

Hokage-sama stared at her expressionlessly for a long moment before pointing. The girl shrank back. "Cat," was all he said, and I knew what I was supposed to do. She couldn't stay there, that much was obvious, though I did wonder in the back of my mind what was going to be done with her now.

I walked into the room, intent on just picking her up and letting someone else explain things later. I was given pause, however, as she gasped and scurried back so fast, she bumped her head against the wall, trembling and shaking.

She was afraid we were going to harm her. There was nothing to breed such a thought, no killing intent or threatening gestures, certainly nothing to inspire such terror, but we were humans like the matron, so our natural instinct was to harm her.

That was about when I realized what we were dealing with here. The child was little more than an animal, half-insane from isolation.

Armed with this knowledge, I shot forward and caught her up before she could move away, picking her up as one would any young child. She was disturbingly light. I expected her to struggle, but all of a sudden, she just seemed to… give up. Her body sagged bonelessly and her eyes stared, unseeing, at the far wall, like something had just come along and sucked the life from them.

It made for an eerie picture.

Silently, and with great care, I wrapped my cloak around her to hide her nudity and turned to Hokage-sama. He was in the middle of a staring contest with the matron, who had followed us down. I dismissed the woman as a senile idiot – _What civilian, in their right mind, gets into a glaring match with the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure?_ – and waited. "Take her outside," Hokage-sama said in a carefully level voice, "and wait for me there."

I nodded, ignoring the quiet gasp I heard below me. So the girl is at least intelligent enough to understand speech. That should make everything infinitely easier.

Now we're outside, perched hidden in a tree just outside the orphanage. She hasn't made a sound since that quiet gasp, and is still quite limp in my arms. I sneak a glance downward and blink in surprise. Nothing about her is moving except for her eyes, which are darting around, lightning-quick, trying to take in everything at once with an intensity surprising in a child. Especially one I'd previously considered dumb.

Perhaps I judged too quickly.

* * *

_Naruto_

The world outside is very loud.

The brightness of it stings my eyes, and the noise… only my numbness keeps me from cringing away, curling up into a little ball and putting my hands over my ears and singing, "La la la, I can't hear you!" How can they all act so happy when their world is so unbearably _noisy?_

And yet, I lie very still and I take in _everything_, determined to hear every individual sound, see every color, and feel every unfettered brush of wind against my skin. I am going to die today, but I want to die knowing I saw. I _saw_ the world, like an ordinary person. A last act of defiance. So I look, and I listen, because I know I will never get another chance to do so. That is fine with me; all I ever wanted was one chance. These fools do not realize they are granting my wish even as they prepare to kill me.

The world outside is so much bigger than I could ever truly have expected, overwhelming in its sheer size. It is huge, and filled with wood and metal, gigantic buildings taller than trees, and crowded in-betweens full of colorful, shouting people of all shapes and sizes. In the middle, there is a great tower, reaching up to the very sky itself, and I know that is where I am being taken. These people seem too important not to belong there.

Behind the tower is a tall stone mountain and I can't help a small thrill of excitement because I've seen it before, through the crack in The Wall Where the Light Pours Through. It is much wider than I'd realized, and I can see giant faces carved into it, too far away to be distinct. Around the entire perimeter of the world is a great wooden gate, enclosing its boundaries. Beyond that, dark forests of nothingness, and I stare at them in wonder. What is beyond the world?

The orphanage building is much smaller than I expected. Tiny and shabby, with peeling paint; it is so poor when compared to many of the buildings around it. Was my world really so small?

And to think, My Room was only a tiny part of that tiny building! I remember walking through the building, looking into each room as I went by in Cat's arms. There was one room that smelled of the matron, it must have been hers, and the thought made my chest throb with betrayal again. I quickly suppressed the emotion behind the numbness, and considered the room as we went by. It was much nicer than mine, and in the middle of a great centerpiece on the bedside table was a picture of a girl who looked a lot like me.

Maybe it was her daughter.

What are we still doing sitting here? Why hasn't the old man come out yet? Why are we hiding? Are they not supposed to be doing this?

There's a thought. I consider screaming, something I have a lot of experience in, but then I remember that I'm a monster. No one would want to help me. We're probably just hiding so no one is afraid of my ugly face.

I have never had any trouble with feeling numb, but I do now. There is so much emotion roiling inside of me; it is a struggle to push it all away. It frightens me, which, of course, only makes things worse.

I have never felt so much at once before, and it is all _their _fault. Cat and the old man. They did this to me. But I don't suppose it will matter anyway, not after they kill me.

I don't want to die.

But what is there to live for?

So I do nothing.

Finally, the old man comes out of the building, his shimmering white clothes sweeping behind him as he glides down the walkway. He reaches behind him and fixes a pointed, red and white hat onto his head. My first thought is to wonder what the picture on it means. My second is that the hat is very stupid-looking. Why would he wear it? Does he not like the sun?

He makes some sort of wave with his hand and I'm so busy wondering if he's waving at us that I'm completely disoriented when, suddenly, I feel Cat tense up around me. But she does not hurt me, instead she… jumps? I gasp again as we go flying so high, I see roofs below us. Cat lands lightly on the railing of one of the nearest roofs, and we're off.

I did not know it was possible for anything to go this fast, jump this high. I should be frightened of what this woman holding me can do, but I'm too excited. I feel like a bird, one of those creatures I've always been most envious of, and a strange, foreign feeling wells up in my chest. I don't know what it is, but it's warm and filling and I want more of it. It wriggles and twists and flairs inside me, like sunlight and bugs and butterflies and the smell of summer.

I am so busy with this new feeling that just for a moment, I forget to be angry at my captors. I forget I'm not supposed to feel anything. I forget about the matron.

I even forget not to laugh.

Just for a moment.

All too soon, the ride is over and we descend to the front doors of the tower itself. As the feeling slowly fades, I am able to think clearly again, and the reminder of what is most likely going to happen to me in this tower thoroughly erases any remnants of it.

I take stock of my surroundings, solemn again.

The great metal doors are much taller than Cat, and so much taller than me. The same picture which adorns the old man's hat is on these doors, much bigger so everyone can see it, and I wonder again what it means. Behind the imposing tower is the stone mountain, and up close, I can see four faces carved into it, all mens'. There is an incredible amount of detail to the faces, despite their size, and I can see some people bowing to them as they walk by. I notice one of the faces is the old man's, which just cements my belief that he is very important. I wonder if these men rule the world, and where the other three are, and why such an important man came to see me personally.

Then I realize I'll probably never find out. I'll probably never find the answers to any of my questions, and the thought fills me with sadness. Abruptly, the enormity of what is happening hits me, and the numbness shatters like my faith in the matron.

Everything is being taken away from me today, isn't it?

* * *

_Cat_

What do I do? ANBU training doesn't exactly cover what you're supposed to do when your captive buries their face in your chest and starts crying.

I rub her back awkwardly, wishing I had more motherly instincts. I've never been very good at this sort of thing.

I studiously ignore the guards' stares as I walk into the building, careful not to shift my weight around too much because she's still clinging to me.

God, this is going to be all over Konoha by this evening, isn't it?

Then I feel bad for thinking that when she's obviously upset, then I berate myself for feeling bad.

Finally, I tell myself to just shut the fuck up, and that, at least, seems to work.

I climb staircase after staircase, all the way up to the top. Her crying has subsided into the occasional sniffle, and I still don't know what to say. I don't even know what her problem is.

Finally, I make it up to the Hokage's office and wait outside the door for him to catch up. He decided to take the civilian route back, through the long, winding streets, as he often does. Hokage-sama enjoys being among his people.

After about ten minutes of awkward silence, he shows up, seeming to be in a somewhat more pleasant mood than he was earlier. Then again, that wouldn't take much.

His gaze softens slightly as looks down to Uzumaki Naruto, and I consider her as well. She seems somewhat more aware than she was earlier, but she is still very silent and still. There are faint tear tracks on her cheeks, and she keeps her gaze to the floor, even though she must know we're watching her.

Finally, Hokage-sama bends down to look her in the eye, but she still won't look up. Gently, he reaches out two fingers and, ignoring her involuntary flinch, raises her chin up to meet his eyes. They stare at each other for a long moment and I have to ignore the sudden urge to look away, like I'm intruding on something private.

Finally, Hokage-sama says softly, "Can you walk?"

A moment's hesitation. Then, wordlessly, she nods.

Hokage-sama straightens up, not taking his eyes off of Uzumaki Naruto's. "Put her down, Cat." I know an order when I hear one.

Gently, I set her on her feet, and she stands shakily, moving quickly away from me. She reaches a hand up to the cloak, but I interrupt her. "Keep it."

This, finally, provokes a reaction. Her head whips up sharply and she stares at me, her brilliantly blue eyes penetrating. After a moment, she seems to realize I'm serious, and I just manage to catch the stunned look on her face before it blanks itself again. "… Thank you," she says softly, her voice hoarse from disuse, but I still manage to catch the sincerity in it. Then, to my complete surprise, she bows.

Awkwardly, clumsily, but she bows. All because of the simplest act of kindness.

My first thought is that that matron is a bitch in addition to being a senile idiot, and I hope they fire her for this.

My second is that Uzumaki Naruto is absolutely nothing like I expected her to be.

As Hokage-sama tells me to take the rest of the day off, and I turn to leave, I know that I will be bombarded with questions by all and sundry tonight, and probably tomorrow morning. Questions I don't know if I'll be answering.

That girl deserves some privacy.

* * *

_Naruto_

I don't understand.

There are many things I don't understand, but lately, there have been some rather important ones. Which is odd in itself, really, because important things don't happen to me.

The most important one, though, is that I don't understand why they're being so nice.

I don't understand why Cat rubbed my back when I cried. I don't understand why the old man is being so gentle, almost careful, with me. I don't understand why Cat gave me her cloak. Most of all, I don't understand why I am at the tower, and not dead.

As I follow the old man into what seems to be the only room on the floor, this makes me irrationally angry. Are they playing with me? Do they find it amusing, playing with my emotions like this? Are they just acting? It seems likely, and it fills me with a terrifying kind of fury.

I stop just inside the doorway, deciding that if I am going to die, I might as well die for _something._

"Why?" I hear him pause in front of me.

"… Naruto-chan?" His voice is oddly hesitant. … What does he mean by "Naruto-chan"?

"Why?" I say louder, done with this game. "Why are you being so nice to me when I am just going to die? Why would you _do _that?" I look up and give him the best glare I can muster, which isn't much, but I have to at least try.

He has the oddest expression on his face, which quickly blanks itself under my scrutiny. There is a long pause. "Why," he finally says, "do you think you are going to die?"

I stare at him. Is this some sort of joke? "I'm… I'm not?" I finally manage to force out.

He looks me right in the eye with the firmest gaze I think I have ever seen. "No," he says simply. "You are not."

I don't think he will ever understand just how much those three words meant to me.

* * *

Author's Notes: My email's not working, so if you're still reading this, please leave a review. Right now, it's the only way I'll know.

Much love to Mimichan88. Your review made my day. I seriously thought no one would be remotely interested in this.

Critiques and comments are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

_Hiruzen_

Her face is a study in complete shock.

She honestly believed we were going to kill her. I have no idea what to think of that.

No, wait, yes I do. But somehow, I don't think burning fury is the correct emotion to be giving off right now. Rather counterproductive, really.

Slowly, her knees give out from under her and she begins to slide to the floor. Quickly, I move a chair from its place beside the wall and slip it beneath her. I push it into the room. It snags on the rug and then it's through. I shut the door behind me and turn back to her.

She is still in shock, but as the minutes pass, I watch her slowly start to get over that. She lifts her head and blinks, gazing around herself as though seeing the world for the very first time.

Which, I remind myself, she is. The thought makes me feel old.

I go around her chair to sit behind the polished mahogany desk that takes up the main part of the room.

She looks over, and I see her eyes widen in awe at the floor-to-ceiling windows behind me. Inwardly, I smile. The view is quite impressive the first time one sees it. From here, you can see almost the entire village, and the Hokage Monument is just a few dozen feet away, the faces right at eye level.

I watch her eyes rove from the windows to the couch at the side of the room to the quiet watercolors on the walls to the desk to the countless official papers stacked on it. I let her give the place a good long examination before clearing my throat. Her head snaps up and her attention fixes itself on me.

Suddenly, uncharacteristically, I am not sure where to begin. How does one make up for such a thing as what has been done to her? What should be explained? What needs explaining?

Perhaps that would be the best place to start.

"You never answered my question," I say gently, not meaning it to be an accusation. I am genuinely curious as to where she could possibly have gotten such an impression. I brought Cat to this meeting specifically because I trust her… but I trusted the matron of the Konoha Children's Home as well, and look how that turned out. If she told the child such a thing…

Naruto's wide blue eyes gaze at me for a moment, and then there is a spark of recognition in them, as if she just remembered I asked her something. "I thought you were going to kill me," she says slowly, "because I am a monster and I don't deserve to live."

Behind the boiling, searing anger that erupts afresh, I am stunned at the matter-of-fact way she says this. Carefully, calmly, "Who told you this?"

Her brow furrows. There is a long moment of silence before she says, almost reluctantly, "The matron."

"You will not be going back there," I reassure her. She nods, but there is no obvious relief in her face. I don't know why I expected there to be. Naruto has already shown herself to be extraordinarily difficult to read, for a child.

Finally, she asks, "Was I put in that place because I am an orphan?"

"You were," I confirm, "I had no idea the matron would…" I trail off. Going down that train of thought will lead only to frustration, frustration which I refuse to take out on her.

I also have one other matter to clear up. "You are not a monster," I say firmly.

She blinks. I wait… there is no other reaction. She doesn't believe me. Well, I suppose I'll just keep saying it until she does, then.

Just as I am about to open my mouth, she speaks. "Then why does she think I am?"

She doesn't need to specify who she's referring to.

Damn. What do I say? She is much too young to know the truth, but… if anyone deserves to know, she does. Especially after all of this.

She notices my hesitation and gives me a piercing look. "There is something," she says quietly, "that you do not want to tell me."

Blunt little thing, isn't she? "Yes," I confirm reluctantly, "there is."

She nods to herself. "Why?"

I am silent. Suddenly, 'you are too young' sounds like a feeble excuse, even in my head.

I expect her to press me for answers, but she is unexpectedly patient. She turns back to examining the room and waits for my answer.

Is she old enough to know? Not even close. Is she wise enough to know?

… Maybe, I concede. Maybe. She's certainly been through enough.

But it would be a calculated risk. In her current state, it would either do her a world of good or make her shut down completely. There is no middle ground here. I am reluctant to do anything that could damage her more… but what would be more damaging? To know the truth or to go on believing she is a monster herself?

It would, I answer myself, all depend on the person.

I turn my speculative gaze back to her. She feels my stare and turns back to me, expectant. Anxious. I can just barely see it, but it's there.

Damnit, I can't lie to her. Not after all of this. Just make it sound like a story, I tell myself.

"Almost six years ago, a monster called the Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked this place," I begin. She listens with rapt attention. "It was very powerful, and it could kill hundreds of people with each sweep of its nine mighty tails." Her eyes widen. "Yes, hundreds. It was truly a horrible creature. And it seemed like all was lost. But then, something amazing happened."

I look over to see her listening with wide eyes. Still a child in some ways, then. That is surprisingly comforting.

I turn to look out the window at the faces in front of me, and one face in particular. "A great man called Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage," a pause, barely perceptible, but an observant child like Naruto, I'm sure she noticed, "gave his life to defeat it."

I glance back briefly. Naruto's face is solemn again. Inwardly, I sigh in relief. She seems to have a general idea of what I'm talking about. I won't have to explain death to her, at least.

My face turns back to the monument. "Not even he could kill the Kyuubi, but he could take its powers away from it… Naruto-chan." There is silence behind me. "Naruto-chan?"

I turn back around, wondering if she has fallen asleep. She hasn't. She is still sitting there, staring at me. Confused, I repeat, "Naruto-chan."

She frowns. It registers somewhere in the back of my mind that this might just be the most emotion she's shown yet. "What does that mean?" she finally says.

I blink. "What?"

"Naruto-chan," she repeats, her voice rising above its hoarse whisper, "what does it mean?"

Suddenly, I understand. "Naruto," I say gently, "is your name."

Her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. "I… I have a name?" she stammers, sounding awed.

Guilt is truly a terrible thing.

"Yes. Yes, you do."

She is struck silent by this, and it is a while before either of us says anything else.

Finally, I break the quiet. "Naruto-chan." Her head snaps up so fast I hear her neck crick.

"I told you not even he could kill the Kyuubi. So instead, he… put it away." I trail off awkwardly, wondering how to explain this.

Naruto frowns in confusion. "… Put it away?" she says softly, questioningly.

"Yes. Imagine something being put into a pot, and then a lid being put over the top of the pot. Are you with me so far?" She nods slowly. "Well, he did the same thing with the Kyuubi, except he didn't use a pot. He used a person."

I glance at her anxiously, wondering if she understands. It is difficult to explain a concept like sealing to one who knows so little of the world.

Her face is blank. For a long moment, I can only guess what she is thinking. Finally, she says, "He used me."

It isn't a question.

I keep my face calm. Inside, I am terribly anxious. "Yes," I say slowly, nodding. "We found you the very night of the attack, without any parents. We asked around afterward, but we never could find your parents. That's why you grew up alone, though you were meant to grow up with the other children at the orphanage."

She is silent for so long, I begin to curse myself for telling her, sure it was the wrong thing to do. I open my mouth to attempt to reassure her, but at that moment, she speaks. "I am… not the Kyuubi?" she asks hesitantly, her face almost frightened.

"No. No, of course not," I answer quickly, allowing myself to feel some hope that I haven't ruined everything. "No matter what, a container is still only a container."

"And… I am… not a monster?" Her voice is so soft by this point, I can barely hear it. An untrained civilian couldn't have.

"No, you are not. I do believe I just said that," I answer, raising an eyebrow. She blushes bright red and nods jerkily, and I can't help but laugh softly in relief. She seems to be alright.

There is a moment of silence. Finally, she says thoughtfully, "The Kyuubi killed her daughter, didn't it?"

"Yes." My voice is sharp. "Did she say anything about it?"

Naruto blinks hesitantly at my reaction. "Umm, yes. She said I killed her daughter… but that never made any sense to me… until now." She falls silent as she seems to consider something. "I saw a picture of her daughter. She looked a lot like me. Could she… have thought… that I was mocking her?" Her voice is back to that barely audible whisper by the end.

I blink at the insight in this, and then give it some serious thought. If what Naruto thinks is true… this is more than a bitter old woman. I pick up a pen and make a note to myself to have the matron of the Konoha Children's Home brought in for a full psychiatric evaluation. I was already going to remove her from her job, but… better safe than sorry.

I look back up and realize she's still staring at me. "It's possible," I answer. "I'll have it investigated." She blinks at this and nods.

There is another lull in the conversation.

She eventually speaks. "Umm… where am I going now?"

Abruptly, I remember the decision I came to on the way to the Tower. I wonder for a moment if I really am going senile.

I decide that I am, and that I'm just going to go with it. My son will probably hate me, but… well, the other one already does. Why not Shigeru too?

"You will be staying at my home."

For the second time that day, her face betrays her shock.

"I will be here for most of the day, but my son will be there, as will my grandson and our maid. Is that agreeable?" She stares at me for a moment and then nods so fast her head looks like it's about to bob off.

"Y-yes," she stammers, "yes, it is."

She is starting to seem overwhelmed. Entirely understandable, so I decide to wrap things up. "Is there anything else you want to know?"

I am little prepared for what follows.

She stares at me for a long moment, as if she can't believe her ears. Then it comes rushing out all at once.

"Why do the sun and the moon move through the sky every day? Why do the stars shine? What number comes after thirty? Where do people come from? How many people are there in the world? Am I a girl or a boy? How can you tell? What's a Ho-ka-ge? Who are those men on the mountain out there? Are you all Ho-ka-ges? Does Ho-ka-ge mean you rule the world? And what does that picture on your hat mean?" She slumps back, panting. She said all of that in one breath.

Ah, I forgot one of the universal rules of child-rearing. How silly of me.

They _always _have more questions.

"Er," I begin intelligently, "I'll teach you later. Later. Thirty-one. When you're older. More than it is possible to count. A girl. When you're older. THe Hokage is the leader of the village. The men out there are indeed all Hokages. It means you rule Konoha, but certainly not the world. They are dead, so right now, I rule Konoha. The picture is the symbol for the Fire Country. In that order."

I smirk slightly to see her thinking hard, trying to remember what order she asked the questions in. I lean back and wait for her to finish.

Finally, she says, "Four questions." She looks up hesitantly, as if expecting me to refuse. I smile indulgently.

"Go ahead."

She takes a deep breath. "What is Fire Country?" I was ready for that one. I reach into a drawer of my desk and pull out a map of the Elemental Countries.

"Do you see the gates at the edge of this place?" She looks up and nods, not taking her eyes off of them. "That is where Konoha," I point to the dot labeled 'Konoha', "ends." I point to Ame and Otafuku Gai. "These are other villages." I circle the Fire Country and Wind Country. "These are countries, with other villages in them like ours. We are in Fire Country."

She gapes down at the map. "So… so we are this small? All of this is this small?" she demands, pointing to Konoha.

I nod. She is struck silent again for a while.

Finally, "… My second question was what Konoha was. My third…" She looks up eagerly, smiling shyly. "When are you going to teach me those other things, and how old am I going to have to be to learn the other ones?"

"Well, probably tonight or tomorrow morning, but as for the other things… you've still got a few years yet." She looks disappointed, so I add, "I'll also be teaching you a way to find out some of this information on your own." She looks back up and nods, seeming happier.

This one will devour books, I just know it.

"And my last question…" She blinks up at me matter-of-factly. "What number comes after thirty-one?"

I start, and then laugh. "I'll explain that tomorrow with the other things," I chortle, getting to my feet.

Naruto scrambles quickly out of her chair, seeming suddenly hesitant again, as if reminded of the mysterious new place she is going to. She clutches Cat's cloak tighter around herself.

I give her a reassuring smile as I walk to the door. "Umm…"

I pause and turn back at her voice. "Yes?"

"What do I call you?" she asks softly.

"Well, most people call me Hokage-sama. You could call me Jiji," I add hopefully. I would like for her to consider me a grandfather.

Naruto looks suddenly choked up. I am about to ask what's wrong when she nods frantically. "Alright… Jiji," she says experimentally, as though testing out the word. "I was wondering… if you never found my parents, how do you know I ever had any?"

I force myself not to freeze. Minato specifically asked that Naruto not be told of her parentage until she made chuunin, but by God, it's hard to lie about such a thing. "Everyone has parents, Naruto-chan, at some point or another. If we did not, we would not exist."

"But how…?"

"When you're older."

"Oh."

I have to laugh at the petulant pout on her face.

Still a child in some ways.

* * *

_Naruto_

I am flying over the rooftops again, this time in Jiji's arms.

Jiji. He asked me to call him Jiji. He asked me to call him family. I cannot understand why he would say this, but I wonder if it means he wants me. _Me._ The very idea leaves me slightly hysterical.

I also wonder if he runs the village because he is so powerful. He is certainly very fast, much faster than Cat.

I feel like I have been asleep and am slowly starting to wake up. I am starting to realize that I am never ever going back to the orphanage or my Room again.

And I am not a monster.

The matron was wrong all along.

I feel so much at this that I almost long for the days when I was nothing. Emotions, I discover, are terrifying things, and when I was watching all of those other people feel and live and breathe, I had no comprehension of how overwhelming that would be for me. For a moment, I almost wish I was in my Room.

I push those thoughts away – I am living my dream, my equivalent to being a star, there is no need for sadness – and focus on the wonderful, warm feeling that flying brings me.

We are traveling much farther than I did with Cat, I soon realize. We leave what seems to be the main part of Konoha, the city part, and then we are passing by beautiful houses, nicer than any I have ever seen, with huge green estates and gardens all around them. Jiji leaves the rooftops and takes to empty, tree-lined roads.

Soon, even the estates are behind us, and then we are running through wild forest, going a twisting, turning way Jiji seems to know by heart. The trails are no longer paved, and are sometimes no more than a thin scar of dirt between giant, ancient trunks. We go farther and farther toward the great gate surrounding the village. For one wild moment, I think we're leaving altogether.

Then Jiji suddenly turns a corner, speeds around a copse of trees… and there it is.

I know this is our destination even before Jiji says, "There it is, Naruto-chan. Home."

I cannot speak.

An iron gate, chained and padlocked from the inside, is in front of us. Beyond it is a long, paved drive leading all the way up to a three-story mansion, which seems to be made almost entirely of wood. There is a balcony running all the way around the top floor, and a gorgeous estate, as pristine and perfect as anything we saw on the way here, around it. The gate and greenery run all the way around to the back of the house, so the property is probably even greater than it looks from the front.

No one else is around. The only sounds are those of the forest.

I cannot believe I am going to be living here. It is so perfect, it is intimidating. What if I do something wrong? What if I break something in this beautiful house and they decide they don't want me anymore?

Jiji puts me down so he can reach around to unlock the gate with a small silver key he pulls out of an inside pocket. The chain slinks to the ground and he pushes one side of the gate open with his shoulder. It creaks as it swings open.

He turns back to me. I try not to let my intimidation show, but I think he sees it anyway, for the smile he gives me seems reassuring.

"Come," he says, "there's someone I want you to meet."

* * *

Author's Notes: Sorry about the dialogue-heavy. I had to set up for the next chapter.

I will try to update on the 13th of every month, but don't hold me to that.

Also, there will be no definite pairing in this story. Naruto will be in romantic relationships with different people (MUCH later on), but there will be no "falling in love with one person at thirteen and that's it", okay?

Any comments/critiques would be greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three_

I feel a tingle as I pass through the gate, but when I look around, there doesn't seem to be anything there. I give a mental shrug and decide I must have imagined it, continuing on behind Jiji's sweeping white clothes. The gravel is hot under my feet as we make our way into the shadow of the great house. Jiji reaches up to the brass knocker on the front door and gives it two strong pounds. The knocker must be heavier than it looks, for the knocks resound through the mansion in a distant, echoing chorus.

For a long moment, there is silence. I glance at Jiji, but he doesn't seem worried by this, calm as ever. Then, faintly, I hear scurrying feet approaching the door, and a moment later, it swings open with another creak even louder than the gate made. Standing there in the doorway is a tiny little woman.

She has a round, kind, slightly anxious face and dark brown hair drawn back in a messy bun at the back of her head. She looks to be in her late thirties, there are already the beginnings of crow's feet around her eyes, and she has a white apron tied on over her clothes. She squints at us nearsightedly, somehow managing to give a warm smile through all the squinting.

"Hiruzen-sama, you're home early," she comments, standing back to let us through. "And who is this?" She smiles directly at me, and my stomach does an odd sort of flip-flop.

"This is Uzumaki Naruto, Aya," Jiji says, pushing me gently through the doorway. I am so distracted by the idea that I have a surname too that it takes me a moment to realize how grand this place I am staying is.

In contrast to the outside of the building, the entrance hall is mostly inlaid with cool, smooth stone. And it is big enough to fit an entire floor of the orphanage into it! There are a couple of beautiful vases and framed pictures here and there for decoration, most of them depicting what seem to be warriors. Above me, there is a high, vaulted ceiling, and in front of me is a grand, sweeping staircase that leads to the upper floors. There are only two doors leading off the hall, one to my left and one to my right. I am struck speechless by awe all over again, and I wonder if I will ever grow used to this place. I am afraid to touch anything for fear I will break it.

I finally tear my gaze away from a beautiful painting of two armies clashing in front of a brilliant golden palace to look back at Jiji. He seems to be having some sort of silent conversation with the maid, Aya. They are gazing at each other, almost as if talking with their eyes, but when he sees me looking, Jiji breaks away from her gaze to turn and give me a smile. "Naruto-chan," he says kindly, "why don't you let Aya lead you into the kitchen while I let the rest of the family know you're here."

I nod silently, not missing the firm look Jiji sends Aya to get her to walk up to me. She looks hesitant, but not fearful or disgusted. "Come, Uzumaki-san," she says, slightly formally, and walks away toward the door to our right. I glance at Jiji, who nods encouragingly, before following her to the door. I occupy myself by whispering my new, full name over and over again.

_Uzumaki Naruto._

In that moment, I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Hiruzen_

That could have gone better, but it could definitely have gone worse.

Aya seemed alarmed at the mention of Naruto, but at least she's being civil to her. I can't say I'm entirely surprised. The civilians of the village have always held much more fear toward Naruto than the shinobi have, because they don't understand sealing, and therefore don't understand her. It's a sad state of affairs, but there you have it.

As I climb the stairs to Shigeru's study, I wonder what I'm going to tell him. I am honest enough with myself to know I am largely doing this for my own peace of mind, but how to say that?

Shigeru was always the more understanding of my sons. Understanding when I couldn't spend much time with my family for my job. Understanding when I missed important dates because some emergency had come up. I've tried to return the favor, but I cannot just sit by and watch as he wastes away anymore.

Half a year ago, Shigeru's wife, Kohaku, died. It was only a year after their son had been born, and only about a month after his brother Asuma had left to work for the Fire Lord at the capital. Shigeru has always been a strong man, but I suppose everything just became too much. He fell into a state of depression I had never seen in my son before, and it worried me. Still, I thought it would pass. Different people handle grief in different ways, I told myself, as Konohamaru began to spend more and more time with Aya and less and less time with his father.

I had him taken off the active-duty roster for a temporary term of leave when some of his peers began confiding in me that they were worried he was trying to work himself to death. They mentioned things like lack of sleep, exhaustion, and emotional withdrawal. I had hoped spending more time at home might help, but it only seemed to worsen things. Shigeru has drawn into himself, and nothing I am doing is helping.

Naruto, too, hides within herself, though not entirely through any choice of her own. I can see it plain as day. She doesn't know how to trust completely. Perhaps it is naïve of me, but I am hoping the two of them will be able to help each other.

I knock at his study door, and he is in there, just as he always is these days. "Come in," his voice calls out, and I can tell he is surprised to see me so early in the day when I walk in.

"Tou-san?" he says questioningly. His voice is hoarse and there are dark circles under his eyes, but his face shows only a vague sort of confusion. "What are you doing here?"

I decide there isn't any point in beating around the bush. Shigeru would probably see right through it anyway. "I have some business to discuss," I say simply, taking a seat in a chair across from him. Seeing him still staring at me, I add, "About work." Shigeru tenses. "There is no emergency," I assure him, correctly interpreting the movement. "Not yet, anyway."

Shigeru relaxes, eyeing me curiously. He knows better than anyone that I don't often ask for help concerning my job. I pause, gathering my thoughts. Finally, I say, "I remember how much you protested being taken off duty."

I glance down, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes widen before looking away. His face is that same blank I saw just a few minutes ago on a little, blue-eyed girl. The resemblance is uncanny.

He makes no comment about his outburst that day in my office when I informed him that he would be taking a term of leave, so I continue, "Well, I have a duty for you now."

Shigeru's dark eyes whip back around to me, surprised despite themselves. I ignore this. "Are you aware of the circumstances concerning Uzumaki Naruto?"

He nods cautiously. As a jonin, he is allowed access to those files. "Are you aware that I visited the Konoha Childrens' Home myself today?"

Shigeru blinks. "I… was not aware of that, no."

I nod. "Do you remember what I assumed when I first handed Uzumaki Naruto over to the Konoha Childrens' Home?"

Shigeru's eyebrows draw together. He is clearly wondering where this is going. "That she would be… safe?" he answers hesitantly.

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

Shigeru's lips twitch in something resembling a smile as he recalls all our old lessons, where I would often ask the exact same question of him. I congratulate myself, for the sight has been all too rare of late.

"Telling you, Tou-san," he replies, a slight exasperation layering his quiet voice.

"You would be correct. That assumption was also completely wrong." He frowns, straightening and sobering.

"… Is she dead?" is the first thing he asks, his face tight.

"No, thank God," I answer softly. He relaxes a bit. "But Shigeru…" I look him in the eye. "I could not leave her there. The matron of the Home is being brought in for a psychiatric evaluation, if that gives you any idea of how bad it was." Shigeru winces slightly. I take a deep breath, and take advantage of the moment of sympathy to drop the bombshell. "She is staying here, and I want you to be her guard, staying with her twenty-four seven. Her room will be next to yours, and I want her to spend her time with you."

I wait. I don't have to wait very long.

There is a moment of floored silence before Shigeru shoots to his feet. For a moment, I can see the same strain I saw in my office months ago, the same frustrated, anger-tinged pain. "Tou-san, I…!"

I force myself to be firm. "What would you have me do, Shigeru? Once it gets out that no one knows where she is, what do you think will happen? I cannot guard her while I am smoothing everything over, and few people know where this place is anyway. You need something to do, and Aya would not be enough. Formidable woman or not, she is a civilian!"

Shigeru closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. The strain of the past few months is somehow more apparent with his eyes closed, and I feel a brief flash of guilt. He is the one who breaks the heavy silence. "There are no other viable alternatives?" His face is carefully blank.

"None as safe as this," I answer truthfully, dodging the question a bit. I can't tell if he sees through this or not, but when he opens his eyes, they are a hard shinobi's eyes.

"Then I will do it," he says simply. The 'whether I want to or not' hangs unspoken in the air.

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_Naruto_

Aya leads me into a long room with a huge, shining table, easily big enough to seat fourteen people. This room is as grand as the entrance hall, but I can only catch a glimpse of it, for Aya leads me through that room and into another, smaller room. I immediately prefer this room, for it is much brighter and warmer, and judging by the delicious smell pervading it and the strange silver instruments hanging on the walls, it is where the food is cooked… the kitchen. There is a much smaller table in the center of the kitchen, only enough to seat five or six, and it is this Aya points at. "Please wait here," she says, still formal.

I walk obediently over to the table, hugging Cat's cloak around me, but I can't push myself up onto the seat, which is just tall enough to be a problem. I continue trying anyway, trying to pull myself up, arms and legs shaking with the strain. The thought comes to me that I am weak, and it makes me frown. Why are all these other people so much stronger than me? Do I have to move around more? Is it just that they have more experience in being strong? Normal people must have to push themselves up onto a seat almost every day, I reason.

This just makes me try harder, which just makes my arms shake more. Finally, a pair of hands come up behind me and grab my sides. I flinch, making the hands freeze momentarily. I look up to see Aya bending over me, her expression a mixture of wariness, bemusement, and something else I can't define. She hesitates a moment longer, than picks me up and puts me in the seat. I blink at the thought that despite her hesitation, she was trying to help me.

"Thank you," I say softly, touched. She looks even more bemused at this, but nods.

If all people are as willing to give me a chance as Aya, perhaps having the Kyuubi in me won't be so bad.

At that thought, my mind turns back to my conversation with Jiji. I learned so much, it's no wonder I feel so overwhelmed. I decide that I should take things one at a time, like bugs taking a piece of bread back to their home, one crumb at a time.

I decide to go in order of the things I learned.

I am never going back to the orphanage. I am never going to see My Room again. The thought leaves me with an odd sense of melancholy. The Room was my whole life. It was my bed, where I ate, where I made up stories and imagined things. It was sometimes the only warmth I had, and the only thing that was familiar and didn't judge me at all. It gave me little holes to peep through to the outside world, and it let sunlight shine through to kiss me with its warmth. Leaving it seems like an abandonment of some kind. Like I betrayed a dear friend.

I hope it will forgive me someday. Maybe, one day, I'll go back and visit it to try and apologize.

I am not a monster. I just carry one. And not a very nice one at that. I imagine a big stone man opening my belly and putting an angry-looking fox inside of it, then slamming the top of my belly shut like it's on a hinge. I wonder if I can talk to it. But if I could, wouldn't it have talked to me before now? Wouldn't it have told me what a horrible little person… girl… I was for locking it up so it couldn't eat people anymore?

But wait! I remember, eyes widening, that my stomach _has _growled at me before! And then it wouldn't stop growling and hurting until I ate! Was that the Kyuubi demanding food? Is that why I am so thin? Because it's eating my food?!

"Hey!" I say indignantly, glaring down at my belly and poking it. "Stop eating all my food!"

I feel a prickle on my neck and turn to find Aya staring at me.

"It's eating my food!" I exclaim, angered into loudness, pointing at my belly.

Aya just keeps on staring. I wonder why she does not seem more alarmed by this if she is afraid of the Kyuubi. What if it gets strong enough that one day it just bursts out of my stomach?

Just then, Jiji comes into the kitchen, followed by a dark-haired man who looks a bit like him. He has his small size and his deep-set, dark eyes and his grace. But my thoughts do not remain on him for long. "Jiji!" I exclaim, "The Kyuubi's eating my food!"

Jiji stares at me as well, but with a much more guarded expression than Aya. "…What?" he finally says.

Frustrated, I attempt to push my emotions away behind the numbness in order to explain. "Sometimes my stomach growls and hurts, and it won't stop until I get food," I explain. "Maybe I'm so thin because the Kyuubi's in there and it's eating all my food!" I can't help the note of urgency at that last part.

To my surprise, Jiji chokes out a surprised laugh. To my even greater surprise, the other man snorts and Aya's lips twitch. I frown. Do they think I am joking?

Jiji notices my expression. I expect him to reprimand me, but instead he shakes his head. "Everyone's stomach does that when they're hungry, Naruto-chan."

"Are you sure?" I press, knowing I am pushing my luck, but still dubious.

Jiji looks even more amused at this. "Very," he says in that firm tone that says the matter is closed.

"But how…?"

"Later."

"Oh." I try to hide my disappointment, but I don't think it works very well, for Jiji gives me a knowing look. He doesn't say anything, however, just turns to the man behind him.

"This, Naruto-chan, is my son, Shigeru." I blink up at the man in new interest. The son of such a wise and powerful man must be just as wise and powerful, mustn't he?

The man wears dark clothes and a guarded expression, like Jiji's when he is uncertain of something and doesn't wish to show it. I decide Shigeru sees me as Aya does; he just hides it better. Does that make him wise like Jiji? I can't tell.

Either way, I hope he gives me a chance too.

"He and Aya will be the ones taking care of you while I am at work," Jiji says, startling me out of my examination. I feel a sudden moment of panic at the thought of Jiji leaving me, when I am just beginning to trust him, to these two people who don't like me. What if I am locked in another place like The Room again? What if this is all a trick?

I turn wide eyes onto Jiji, who gazes back at me in agonizing silence. For a moment, I feel as if I am back in The Room again, waiting to see how nice the matron feels today. Finally, he says, "But I think I can spare the rest of the day off." My chest floods with relief, which is a lot like happiness, I discover, except you appreciate it more.

"Now, do you want to see your new room?" My chest freezes again.

I gaze up at him, smiling so kindly, and all I can think is that I was right. He was lying about all of it. It was all too good to be true.

They are taking me to another Room.

I feel myself trembling as my eyes flash to all the exits, knowing I won't make it in time. But it's just not fair! Not fair to make me want life and then try to take it away from me!

"Naruto-chan?" Shigeru is suddenly tense, like he's ready to catch me at any moment, and Jiji looks worried. "Are you alright?"

I swallow and force myself to speak, trying so hard to push back the fear when there's just too much of it. "You… you're going to…" I stammer, trailing off. Jiji looks confused. "Like the matron," I whisper.

Jiji's eyes widen. "No!" he says, so loud that I jump. "No, nothing like that. God, no. I was talking about a room to sleep in. I promise you can go wherever you want to during the day, as long as it's within the gate."

I consider this, trying to decide whether or not to believe him. He looks sincere. But if the room is for the night, why not show it to me at night? Why right now? "… Just to see where it is?" I ask cautiously.

"Of course," Jiji says, nodding. "You don't even have to go inside."

I look over at Shigeru, who looks a little more relaxed now, but is still very quiet and closed-off. Then I look toward Aya, who still has that same mixed expression on her face, like she can't decide whether or not I'm going to eat her. "Okay."

I hop off the chair, decide I like hopping, and follow Jiji toward the kitchen door. I am relieved to see that Shigeru doesn't seem to be following us, and Aya stays where she is as well. Before I leave the room, I decide to make a statement. I turn back to the two of them. "By the way," I say matter-of-factly, "I don't eat people."

I turn around and walk out the kitchen door, not quite able to understand why Jiji is laughing to himself.

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_Hiruzen_

She's never climbed a set of stairs before.

I take her hand and watch with something between amusement and sadness as she struggles up the steps, getting the feel for them, the look of determination on her face so reminiscent of her parents that it takes my breath away. I offer to help, but she wants to figure it out on her own, and doesn't that bring back memories too.

She sounds just like her father when she says it.

The thought that she has inherited his spirit fills me with a hope I can't even begin to describe.

Shigeru's and Aya's reactions to her were fun to watch too. Just after the kitchen door swung shut behind her, I caught Shigeru start and then give a soft, genuine laugh, with a look on his face as surprised as I felt. And I don't think I've ever seen Aya stare that much!

I'm starting to feel that maybe this will be best for more than just Naruto. One can always hope, anyway.

Naruto makes it to the top of the stairs and actually smiles a brief, triumphant smile before looking up at me expectantly.

I lead her down corridors and past rooms. She peers curiously around her as we reach another flight of stairs. Five long, careful minutes later, we are up the stairs, turn down a corridor, head past Shigeru's room, and stop in front of her room. "Here we are, Naruto-chan," I say unnecessarily and, seeing her hesitate, I reach out and push the door open so she can see inside.

It is nothing special as far as rooms go. Moderately sized with four white walls, a window on the far wall, and a large, fluffy bed set against the wall adjacent to it. Next to the bed is a chest of drawers with a small looking glass above it, and opposite the bed is a wardrobe. Other than that, the wood floor is completely bare. The only reason I chose this room is because its walls are thinner than the lower floors', allowing Shigeru to hear if anything happens from his own room.

Naruto gazes into it like she's never seen anything quite so incredible. Then her wide blue eyes tear away from it to gaze up at me, as if to be certain it's hers. I nod silently, and her entire face lights up. She runs into the room, takes a great leap I'm sure she'd not have been able to do consciously onto the bed, and buries her face in the down pillows. I watch in amusement as, after a moment's pause, she lifts her head up and blinks, as if just realizing what she'd done. Then she shrugs, and turns to examine the bed with an almost scrutinizing gaze.

After a moment, she gets to her feet, hesitates, and then gives a cautious little hop. The bed bounces. Apparently encouraged by this reaction, she jumps higher. The bed bounces harder.

Just under a minute later, she's jumping around wildly on the bed like there's no tomorrow, beaming and giggling to herself. The sight makes me smile, and I wait patiently for her to finish, not daring to leave in case she falls off.

Looking back, I realize later that it might have been the first time I thought of Naruto as a granddaughter.

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Author's Notes: Mucho thanks to all my reviewers.

Yes, Shigeru is kind of acting like an asshole, not wanting to guard Naruto. But if I had lost the person I loved more than anyone else in the world, was left with our one-year-old child, had a father who worked all the time, and had a brother who abandoned me to a crisis of youth and self-identity, I'd be kind of inclined to act like an asshole too. I can also see myself being exhausted, cranky, and uncharitable. He is, however, not prejudiced against the Kyuubi like Naruto thinks he is. He just has a lot going on right now. Don't worry, his and Aya's perceptions of Naruto will both change in later chapters.

On another note, this chapter seems a bit… awkward. I struggled an unusual amount with it. Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

_Naruto_

The mirror is incredible.

I have never seen a "mirror" before, but I think they're amazing. I have to stand on my tiptoes to see over the drawers to my own reflection, but I can finally see what I look like. I am not so different from anyone else, I discover. Maybe I am not hideous. I have a nose and eyes and a mouth like everyone else. Skin, too.

My face is very small and thin and angular. It is heart-shaped, with high cheekbones and a pointed chin. My mouth and nose are tiny, and so are my ears. On my cheeks are long scars, strange-looking but not ugly. My eyebrows arch and my eyes are big and blue. My golden hair frames my face in a curtain.

I still like my hair the best.

Finally, I tear my gaze away from me – _Uzumaki Naruto_ – to follow Jiji back out of my room and into the hallway. He shows me Shigeru's room next door, and where the bathroom is down the hall. I am surprised when he tells me the "toilet" is like the chamber pot, and the "tub" is for washing. Everything is so white and shiny! These people piss in nicer places than I usually eat.

Then Jiji walks me to a pair of beautiful glass doors that lead out to the balcony. He smiles when I gasp in awe at the view laid out below me.

The backyard is huge, as big and beautiful as any estate we passed on the way here. Trees are everywhere, but they are not as wild as the forest outside the gate. Instead, most of them shade over beautiful gardens or, in one case, a great body of water in the middle of the estate.

I wouldn't realize it until much later, but it actually wasn't that great at all. It was a mere fish pond.

Off to the side of the grounds, near one side of the gate, is a little cottage. Jiji points it out to me and says, "That is the home of our gardener, Sanken. He does all of this by himself."

"_All _of it?" I ask incredulously.

Jiji nods. "Yes, everything. I've tried to hire him help, but he insists on doing everything himself."

I decide I'd like to meet this Sanken. He must be magic.

Jiji leads me back inside and down the stairs to the second floor, which is the only one I haven't seen yet. We go down the hall to a door about halfway along, and he opens it. Aya is in there, and so is a little boy who cannot be older than three. All around him are marvelous, brightly colored toys.

"Naruto," Jiji says kindly, bending down to look at me, "this is Shigeru's son, Konohamaru. Would you like to play with him while I talk to Aya outside for a minute?" I glance at the happy, babbling little boy and nod eagerly. I have spent years watching other children play with each other, but have never gotten to do it myself. I wonder, as I walk over, what it will be like.

As I pause hesitantly in front of him, Konohamaru looks up at me and gives me a big, bright smile. He is a handsome little thing, with an oval, olive-skinned face and chocolate brown eyes framed by long lashes. His dark hair is already long, and tied in a little ponytail at the back of his head. "Hi!" he says fearlessly, giving me an expectant look, as if already wondering why I'm not playing with him yet.

I smile back and sit down. "Hi," I say quietly, afraid he won't like me so close to him. In fact, it is the exact opposite. He scoots his butt closer to me and hands me a little toy man.

"Play ninja," he says matter-of-factly, in a high, clear voice. Then he turns back to a great playing field he's set up on the carpet before us as if that should be enough explanation for anyone.

"Umm… what?" is my answer to this.

He looks up and frowns. "Play ninja," he says, more insistently, and I realize that he might not know how to explain. He is very young. He turns back to the playing field and I see that a lot of toys like mine are attacking a big toy building. I play along with them, and that seems to be the right thing to do, because Konohamaru smiles and tucks into his playing much more fervently, babbling incoherently at me all the while.

I am startled at how effortlessly he has drawn me into his world.

I discover two things that afternoon.

First, that ninja are soldiers or fighters.

Second, for all his youth, Konohamaru is very good at sound effects.

It takes me a long time, after we've killed the dangerous beasts within the building and saved the doll inside, while Konohamaru is celebrating and I'm laughing right along with him (_me, laughing_), to realize something.

Abruptly, I think that Konohamaru is the only person in this house I already trust completely.

As I look at his wide, innocent, carefree eyes and his tiny hands, I think I know why.

The thought makes me feel warm.

* * *

Aya comes back in shortly after this realization, her face still full of puzzled confusion. Jiji is not with her, but I am hesitant to ask her where he is for fear that she will act like the matron used to when I asked a question. I am mindful of the fact that Aya has shown she is willing to give me a chance. I will not ruin it for anything.

Aya kneels before me. I tense up before I can help myself, but if she notices, she says nothing. "Naruto-san," she uses my first name this time. "Would you like to take a bath?" I am confused, as I just had a bath a couple of days ago. It is not nearly time for another one yet. My suspicion at this wars with my desire to please her, but eventually I nod.

She nods back and gets to her feet, brushing imaginary wrinkles out of her apron. Then she bends down to pick up Konohamaru and place him on her hip. I am a bit relieved that someone else will be with us. Finally, she turns to me. "Follow me," she orders quietly and I follow her obediently out the door.

I expect her to go back up the stairs to the bathroom I already saw, but instead she turns down the corridor to another door, and opens it to reveal an entirely different bathroom. It is just as nice as the other one, and my renewed awe wars with skepticism. Why on Earth would anyone need a bathroom on every floor? Still, it is a beautiful room, and as Aya sets Konohamaru on the toilet seat to help him get undressed, I wonder that I am going to be bathing in it.

Perhaps people as important as them are always this clean?

Aya sets Konohamaru in the tub and, after a brief hesitation, beckons to me to join in. I slip off the long, heavy cloak and put it outside the door. When I turn back, Aya is still staring at me. Feeling suddenly vulnerable, I climb awkwardly into the tub. This sitting to bathe thing is new and strange to me, but Konohamaru seems used to it. He turns around to grab little toys perched on a shelf near the tub, heedless of the hard white stone under his bottom and the water filling up around him.

There is something odd between his legs that seems to be a part of his body, I eventually notice. I look down at my own body, wondering if I'm supposed to have one too. But Jiji did say Konohamaru was a "he". Is that how you tell?

Just as I am starting to become uncomfortable with the water rising around me, Aya reaches over to pull on a shiny silver knob above the tub and the water stops pouring out of the spout. She washes Konohamaru first, interrupting his playing in the water to make him stand up so she can scrub him down. This, at least, I am familiar with, so when she gets to me, I stand up and wait.

She is much gentler than the matron ever was, and the soothing touch nearly unhinges me. By the time she is done, I am trembling all over and Konohamaru's energetic shouts while he plays are more grating than cute. Aya gives me a knowing look and after toweling me off, tells me I can rest now if I want to. I nod in relief, and show myself out of the room, wrapping the cloak back around myself on the way out.

I practically have to crawl to get back up the stairs, but at last I am at my room. I push the door open with trembling hands, deliberately not closing it behind me. Living in this room would not be so bad, but knowing I am able to go out whenever I want to is even better. Closing the door would just make me feel trapped.

I climb up onto the bed, collapsing into the amazing softness of the pillows. There, with Cat's cloak around me and the waning afternoon sunlight shining through the window, I finally allow myself to relax.

My last thought before I fall asleep is how odd it is that just a few hours ago, I was waking up in My Room, secure in my certainty that nothing out of the ordinary would happen today.

* * *

Bright light hits my eyelids the next morning.

I groan and blink at the yellow covering my view whichever way I look. After a few moments, my eyes get used to the unusual brightness and I sit up, confused. This isn't My Room. Why would I be in another room…?

Then the memories come rushing back and I remember. This is my room now, except I don't have to stay in it all the time. I am living in a gorgeous house with three stories and a Jiji and a cute little boy named Konohamaru. I am not a monster, and now I'll get the chance to prove it.

Feeling that warm happiness that is still so new to me, I clamber to the wood floor, pulling the cloak closer around me where it fell off the night before. I go through the door, which is still open, and feel a thrill of delight that I can walk out of my own free will and no one is yelling at me.

Everything seems much less frightening and much more wonderful in the morning. The stairs seem exciting instead of treacherous, and the entrance hall seems delightful instead of intimidating. The sunlight seems cheerful instead of alien as it flows through the beautiful windows. The kitchen seems even more welcoming than it did the day before. I stay there because that was where I was told to stay when I first arrived yesterday. I want to go out and explore the grounds, but I don't want to get in trouble on my first real day here. Maybe later, I think to myself hopefully.

After a few minutes, during which my stomach reminds me that it has not eaten since yesterday morning, Jiji comes out into the kitchen. I smile at him, feeling like a bird soaring into the skies. He looks surprised, but smiles right back. His dark eyes are much warmer when he smiles, and I like the funny crinkles it makes around them.

"Well, you're up early," he says, and I blink in surprise.

"I always get up this early," I say bemusedly.

"So do I, but I don't think many other people do." Jiji sounds amused. "I'm sure my grandson won't be up for at least another two hours. Sleeps like a rock, that one." He tinkers around in the kitchen while I think about a rock sleeping. I didn't even know rocks could sleep! But there are many things I don't know about the world, I'm starting to realize.

A delicious smell starts to permeate the kitchen. A little black box on the counter makes a funny popping noise that makes me jump and then Jiji is plunking a plate with two brown squares on it in front of me. It smells like good food, but not like any food I've ever had before. Then again, the only food I've ever had before is the white goop the matron used to bring me.

"It's toast," Jiji says in answer to my inquiring expression. He takes a piece from his own plate and bites into it, as if to prove his point.

Maybe normal people eat toast all the time, I think, and I take the square and put it into my mouth, eager to prove that I can be a person too. It turns out to be good, but crunchier than anything I've ever eaten before.

Jiji eventually speaks. "Aya bought clothes for you yesterday after you went up to your room, and…"

I interrupt him before I can stop myself. "I get clothes?"

Jiji gives me an odd look. "Well, we're certainly not going to let you walk around naked."

Wow. A full name _and _clothes. I feel lucky.

"Anyway, she'll have them for you when she comes down, which should be in just a few minutes. Meanwhile, I have to go." Suddenly, my sunny mood darkens. I feel faint stirrings of fear. Jiji seems to see them because he says, "I'll be back this evening, and then I promise I'll show you something special." I nod, slightly reassured, and get up to walk him to the door.

He smiles down at me and pats me on the head, and I don't even flinch. Then he turns away. I watch his back until he's beyond the gate and in the shadows of the trees. Then I go back inside, feeling slightly depressed.

But it's impossible to stay sad for long in the new, fascinating world. Aya comes downstairs and into the kitchen, and after she sees me and doesn't look angry, I think it's okay to approach her. "Umm…" I whisper softly, shy about asking for something. She raises an eyebrow, but remains silent. "Clothes," I say, hoping she'll understand what I mean.

She does. Nodding briefly, she says "Wait here," and leaves the room. I hear her go up the stairs and then her footsteps fade away. I stand around, fidgeting nervously, until she comes back down carrying a pile of clothes over her arm. "In here," she commands tersely, not even pausing on her way by. We go across the hall to the other door on the first floor, the one I haven't seen yet. It turns out to be a huge sitting room with a lot of armchairs and a couch centered around a glass table. Behind the couch, on the far wall, is a stone fireplace, and on the east wall is a large window with the dark curtains still drawn over it.

I have to wonder of this room is always this stifling, or if it's just because the curtains are still drawn.

Aya turns to me. "Take off your cloak. I just guessed at your size, so we'll have to see if these fit." I am unsure what she means by this, but take off the cloak nevertheless, letting it slide to the floor behind me.

The first thing I notice about the clothes she dresses me in is that most of them are pink. I am unsure how to feel about this.

This realization is followed almost immediately by the realization of how itchy clothes are. I don't think I will ever get used to them.

Aya, at least, seems pleased by her choices. She dresses me in something odd called underwear and a short, pink-and-white checked dress and then walks me upstairs to the second floor bathroom. There, she takes out a frightening looking instrument with sharp, pointy things on one end and aims it at my head. I back away instinctively, eyeing it with apprehension. Aya pauses and explains, with surprising kindness, that it is something for my hair, and not at all meant to hurt people. I tentatively let her put it on my hair, and am surprised by now nice it feels to let her comb through it.

Afterward, when she shows me my face in the mirror, I get another thrill of delight. My hair is shiny and soft-looking, neater than I have ever seen it in my life. It glows in the lights above the mirror, all golden like sunlight. The oddly-colored, itchy clothes look surprisingly good on me, and more importantly than that, they make me look just like a real person! I feel almost… nice looking.

Then Aya bends over me and takes a much smaller-looking instrument with softer bristles on the end up in her hand. She puts a blue goo on it and sticks it in my mouth, explaining that it will clean my teeth. I find the idea of cleaning your teeth very odd, but figure it's one of those person things.

After Aya fusses around in my mouth for a few minutes with the tingly blue goo, which she calls "toothpaste", she takes a small silver thing and uses it on my fingernails, cutting them down to an almost impossibly short length, like hers are. "How you ever managed with these daggers, I'll never know," she mutters to herself, and I am confused. What is a "dagger"?

After she has deemed all my fingernails, and _then _all my toenails, "appropriate", I run my fingertips over them, amazed at their tiny, velvety softness. It feels so nice. Finally, at least one strange human thing makes sense to me.

After this, at last, we appear to be done. We go back downstairs and Aya takes the cloak out of the sitting room and puts it on a little hook near the front door for me. After this, I sit in the kitchen for a few minutes, scratching at my new clothes and watching Aya make food. Eventually, Shigeru trudges in.

He has very dark circles under his eyes and I have to wonder of he slept at all last night. He runs his fingers through his hair and then looks right at me, seeming annoyed. I flinch back from his glare, and to my surprise, he flinches too. Then he abruptly turns his back to me. When he turns back around, his face is expressionless and the way he sits down at the table is almost careful.

This I understand, but at least he doesn't seem disgusted or horrified by having to sit with me. I remind myself that all I have to do is prove him wrong about me.

"When did you get up?" I blink. He is almost as quiet as me.

"A while ago," I answer softly. He nods and mutters something I don't understand about having to "reset the alarm." I don't think it was meant for me to hear anyway, so I don't ask.

Aya leaves the kitchen. I've never thought of silence as uncomfortable before, but I do now. Shigeru seems to be avoiding looking at me as much as I am at him, which makes me feel a little better. I want to make some smart comment, but I can't think what to say.

Eventually, Konohamaru follows Aya back into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His presence is a relief for all of us, I think. Shigeru's face gentles as soon as he sees him, and my own spirits lift as the boy slowly starts to wake up and get some food into him. Pretty soon, Konohamaru is chattering nonstop about all the fascinating things he is going to do today. The uncomfortable silence is gone.

* * *

_Shigeru_

We haven't even been alone five minutes and I've already managed to scare her. I don't know what Dad was thinking when he gave me the care of an overly-sensitive six-year-old girl with a history of abuse. Maybe Asuma was right. Maybe he really is finally losing it.

She seems okay now, though. Can't be too bad a kid if she likes Konohamaru, right? Right. That just shows she's got good taste.

As for me… well, Ko looks like his mom. Some days, that's a good thing. Some days it's not. Today, by some miracle, it doesn't hurt too much to see him smile or laugh just like she used to.

Maybe that's a good sign. I've never been too sure about omens, but whatever gets you through the day, I guess.

We stay in the kitchen until Konohamaru is finished with breakfast. He does most of the talking, I note with faint amusement. Finally, Aya picks him up to take him back to the nursery. I give her a pleading look, but she's as unsympathetic as usual. She gives me a look that I know means 'stop trying to hide behind the naivety of a two-year-old' and walks out of the room before I can respond.

There's another awkward silence. She stares at her bare feet, unnaturally still for a small child. In fact, a lot of things about her are unnatural. The wide, whisker-like scars on her cheeks. Her bony hands and elbows. Her stick-like legs and feet. Most of all, the way she never smiles. I'm not sure what to make of her. Dad told me she might be "difficult", but I didn't think he meant like this.

What exactly was done to her?

Finally, at a loss for anything else to say, I ask, "What do you want to do?" She looks up, seeming hesitant. Maybe she still remembers the glare I gave her. I try to look pleasant.

"Umm… could we go outside?" I'm thrown off by the normal request, but try not to let it show. Instead, I just nod.

I get up from my chair and she jumps up to follow me. She seems more cheerful than I think I've seen her yet at the prospect of being outside. I wonder if she's just really outdoorsy, or if it's because of something I don't know about.

* * *

_Cat_

I was expecting something like this, so it was no surprise when I was given the job of investigating the details of the Jinchuuriki's former life at the orphanage. I expected it to be a pretty easy investigation considering all of the people involved were civilians and over half were children. I wasn't disappointed. It only took me a single day to compile the information I needed.

Now I'm here in the Hokage's office, waiting to give my report. He finishes reading the form in front of him before looking up at me. His face is deadly serious, but I knew it would be before I even started the investigation.

"Report." His tone is tense.

I bow silently, slip off my mask, and take the customary ready stance.

"Hokage-sama, when they were informed that they would be caring for the Jinchuuriki in secret, none of the matron's assistants wanted to take care of the Kyuubi child, so the matron offered to do it herself. Her assistants always thought she kept the girl in her personal rooms and looked after her there, and they were happy with that arrangement. The room we found Uzumaki-san in was said to be a storage closet. The matron kept it locked when she didn't need to use it, but they do that to all the storage closets at the Home, so the little children don't wander in and accidentally choke on something small in one of them or some such thing. As far as I can tell, the assistants had no idea of Uzumaki-san's abuse.

"The children, surprisingly, were a bit more enlightening. Most seemed to think the room was haunted by some sort of spirit. A few claim to have seen a shadow passing by one of its walls sometimes. One girl claims to have looked over one day and seen an eyeball staring at her through a crack in the wall. None of the accounts are detailed, however, because the children started to avoid that particular room out of fear… They said something in the room screamed sometimes at night. I am uncertain as to whether or not that is childish exaggeration."

I sincerely hope that it is. From the look on his face, Hokage-sama shares my hope.

"Thank you, Cat. You may leave." His tone indicates dismissal, and he looks almost distracted as he sits back in his chair.

I know none of the assistants will be punished for their prejudice. If Hokage-sama were to start punishing people for prejudice against the Jinchuuriki, he would have to arrest over half of Konoha's population of approximately one million. I do, however, have to ask.

"Hokage-sama, I apologize for my rudeness," I say, bowing again, "but may I ask… where is the matron? She was no longer there."

The room is silent. Just as I am about to make my apologies and leave, Hokage-sama speaks. "She is with Morino-san," he says simply.

I bow deeply, knowing that information is probably classified. Strictly speaking, he should not have told me. "Hai, Hokage-sama," I whisper, and back out of the room without another word.

As I leave the waiting area, I realize I probably should not feel satisfied.

I'm not too inclined to care.

* * *

_Naruto_

I love my new shoes.

They were waiting in a little alcove near the front door. They even had their own little wooden cubby, next to the cubby of a tiny pair of shoes that looked like Konohamaru's.

They are white and pink, like my dress, but they light up whenever I step, so I don't care what color they are. I have trouble trying to decide whether to stare at the gardens around me or my own feet!

This place is even more beautiful up close, and it smells wonderful. If only I could have the little black box for making toast and my bed and my lighty shoes out here, I think I could stay here forever. But being able to come out here every day is almost as good.

A few minutes in, I hesitantly ask Shigeru the name of a flower. He tells me willingly enough, which makes me feel braver. Pretty soon I am asking him about everything in the entire garden, and I am entranced at what I learn. I never thought there was so much to know about a simple piece of land.

After I start asking questions even Shigeru doesn't know the answers to, he seems to get irritated. I think maybe he doesn't like having to admit he doesn't know something. Maybe it embarrasses him? That's an odd thought.

Eventually, Shigeru cuts me off in the middle of a question. "Why don't we go ask Sanken some of this?" he asks tightly.

I gasp in delight. "The magic man!"

Shigeru looks befuddled, but he says, "Umm… sure."

So we go to the little cottage and knock on the door. I am excited to meet a magician, but a perfectly ordinary looking man opens the door. I am almost disappointed.

He is old, like Jiji, but taller than Jiji. His hair is balding and silver, and his face is brown and worn-looking. His clothes are rough and his eyes are hard. But he is looking at Shigeru that way instead of me, so I think that might be how he looks at everyone. Certainly, Shigeru seems used to it.

"We were wondering if you had enough time to give a tour of the grounds to our new guest," he says without preamble, gesturing to me. Sanken stares at me long and hard, but I know he looks at everyone that way, so I am not so afraid.

Finally, he grunts and says, "Fine. But you're coming with me," in a low, growling voice.

We set off again, and Sanken is much more interesting to question than Shigeru. My awe returns as he explains things to me I never could have imagined. He shows me all the different plants and what they can do and how they grow. He lets me smell the different flowers and shows me the new ones he's planting. I soak it all in eagerly.

He seems surprised at my interest at first, but the more I question him, the more enthusiastic he gets. I can tell he loves plants, even if he growls at people. I think I might love plants too.

Shigeru just stands back and watches most of it, but when we reach the pond, Sanken explains what it is to me and then goes back to talk to him. I let them talk, immersed in all the new, fascinating creatures. The fish swirl around under my curious fingers, making me giggle. Their mouths are so funny as they go around and around, swirling through fantastic formations of strangely colored stone and plants that are actually under the water! It's like a whole other world.

I wonder if underwater is a whole other universe, but that doesn't make any sense, because there's never been any world at the bottom of my water glass. At least, I don't think there has been. I never really checked.

Eventually, I hear a shout and turn around to see Aya and Konohamaru coming toward us. Konohamaru runs over to play with me, which gives me another warm feeling in my chest. He doesn't want to look at fish, though, he wants to play.

Aya seems to have anticipated this, because she has some toys with her. Konohamaru takes up a ball and says, "Catch!"

I have seen other children playing this, so I know what to do, but Konohamaru's version seems to be a bit different. Konohamaru's version of catch consists of him catching the ball and running away with it, giggling madly, while I chase him down and try to wrestle the ball from him so I can throw it again. This actually turns out to be much more entertaining than the original version, and we spend quite a while doing it.

Eventually, Aya chases both of us down and tells us to stop running around before I completely ruin my new dress. I look down and realize I have dirt all down my front and my skirt is torn in several places. My knees are scraped and bloody from falling down all the time, and I am becoming more and more aware that my legs hurt a lot and I can't breathe very well.

I gasp out apologies until she sighs and rolls her eyes and says, "It's fine. Let's just go inside and get the two of you cleaned up." We leave, Shigeru trailing silently behind. I wave goodbye to Sanken, sad to have to leave the beautiful garden, but happy as well.

I didn't miss the way Aya said she was going to take care of both of us. Despite my sadness, I smile.

* * *

Author's Notes: Something I'd like to clear up. The older versions of the characters are remembering this. These are a collection of memoirs centered around Naruto's life. You can find evidence of that at the end of the prologue, and at the end of chapter three. I am not actually going to have the memoirs written and published (in their world) toward the end of the story, mostly because I don't want to have to limit myself to the points of view of characters who aren't dead by the end. Anyway, when Naruto describes something she most likely doesn't understand or shouldn't know about yet… that would most likely be why.

Also, because I'm not sure if it's clear in the story or not… no one outside of the workers of the orphanage, the Hokage, and anyone jonin-level or above knew where Naruto was staying, for her own safety. That's why Hiruzen was not more alarmed by the fact that Naruto was not let out when she was younger. He'd have been more alarmed if she was out in broad daylight for everyone to see.

In the years following the Kyuubi attack, all of Konoha's resources were being used toward restructuring the village. An ANBU or something could not be used to guard Naruto because there were none available regularly. At the same time, she could not just be thrown among the hateful villagers. So he compromised. Remember, the matron is normally a very kind person, so he gave Naruto to her and ordered that she and her assistants not tell anyone the Kyuubi child was under their jurisdiction.

Now, however, she is no longer under their jurisdiction, so that no longer applies to them. And no one, not even Cat, was informed of where she was taken. So no one knows where she is, and Hiruzen will have to deal with the panic this will likely inspire. We will not see much of this, because the story is mainly about Naruto. This is, however, a lot of the reason she is staying with the Sarutobis and under Shigeru's guard.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	6. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five_

When Jiji gets home, I am playing in Konohamaru's nursery again. Shigeru is sitting nearby, reading a book, occasionally glancing over at us. I have no idea where Aya is.

He smiles when we look up and greet him, but he looks a bit weary. I see Shigeru raise an eyebrow at him, and Jiji shake his head in return. Whatever this means, it must not be anything too terrible, because Shigeru goes back to reading his book.

Konohamaru is tugging at my arm, trying to get me to play again, but Jiji kneels down to look him in the eye. "Konohamaru-kun," he says, "I need to borrow Naruto for a while, okay?" He moves to help me up.

Konohamaru does not seem to think this is okay at all, and begins tugging at my hand harder. "No! Stay!" he says stubbornly, shaking his head.

"Ko, listen to your grandfather," Shigeru says sharply, glancing up from his book.

Konohamaru shakes his head, frowning at his father's sharp tone. "No!"

"Ko…" Shigeru's voice is warning. I put my hand on Ko's where it has my arm.

"I'll be back," I reassure him, touched by the fact that he doesn't want me to go. "I promise."

I can't tell if he understands completely, but he pouts and lets go of my arm reluctantly. I give him a small smile as I stand up with Jiji.

"Dad…" Jiji looks over to Shigeru.

"You can go," he assures him. "I'll take her." Shigeru looks relieved as he stands up and leaves. Perhaps he is relieved to be away from me?

Ko's pout increases as his father walks out the door.

As we leave the room, Aya appears, though no one called her. Maybe she's magic too. Maybe when you become Hokage, you get magic servants.

"Jiji, why does someone have to be with me all the time?" I ask as we walk away from the nursery. He pauses and looks down at me. "That's true, right? Why?"

To my surprise, he answers. "Well… you remember how I told you why some people don't like you?"

I nod. "Kyuubi no Kitsune."

"Exactly. We're here to protect you from the people who don't like you."

I consider this. "Is that why I was put here?"

Jiji nods. "That's part of it."

"So… I can't ever leave?" I ask hesitantly – hopefully.

Jiji smiles. "You don't have to leave." I feel that warmth that is so much like happiness again.

As we continue down the corridor, I straighten my dress. I have been doing that a lot in the past hour. I felt bad that Aya had to give me a new dress so she could wash my old one already, even though she didn't seem angry about it. So I am being very careful with this dress, even though it's kind of annoying.

I have decided that I don't like skirts, but I am not going to tell Aya that.

We arrive at a large pair of double doors. Jiji pulls them open and I gasp at what is behind them.

Stretched out in front of me are seemingly hundreds of the tallest cabinets I have ever seen in my life, covered with doors of glass. All of them are filled to the brim with books. In the middle of this room is a great oak table with cushy armchairs gathered around it and a beautiful lamp with colorful flower patterns in its glass on top of it. At the far end of the room is a stone fireplace, just like the one in the sitting room.

Jiji smiles. "This is the library," he says proudly. "We keep all the books in the house in here."

I can feel that this is another magic place… like the garden. It has this aura that is full of warm mysteries. I could spend hours in here, just exploring.

Jiji leads me over to the table. "Do you remember when I told you that I was going to teach you a way to find information yourself?" I nod eagerly. "Well, this is where we're going to do it. I am going to teach you to read."

He smiles at my awed expression.

Learning to read turns out to be very interesting, but very difficult too. There are so many different sounds and symbols and rules to remember, I feel overwhelmed at first. Jiji is very patient, and he says it only seems overwhelming because I've just started. He tells me I have to be patient.

I agree, even though I don't particularly want to be patient. I want to be able to read, and find the answers to all of my questions! But Jiji says I must be patient, so I must.

Eventually, a tall wooden instrument on the far wall makes a funny chiming noise, and Jiji says it is time for dinner. Of course, I ask him what the instrument is, and he spends so long explaining the concept of a "clock" to me that we end up being late for dinner.

Shigeru is not at the table when we come down. Apparently, he is often in his study during meals. Shigeru seems to me like he doesn't like being around other people very much. This confuses me, as I love being around people now that I get the chance to, but perhaps he is so used to being around people that he has forgotten how nice it is.

As I watch Ko play with his food more than eat it, Aya try to get Ko to play less and eat more, and Jiji watch the two in dry amusement, I think that is very sad.

**_[Scene Break]_**

The next few days become a routine. I get up and watch Jiji go off to do important things, then Shigeru comes down, then Aya, then Ko. We have breakfast and then Shigeru watches me as I play with Ko, or explore the garden or the library.

The garden is my favorite place to be during the day. I watch bugs like I used to at the orphanage, or I help Sanken with the gardening. He tells me once that I'm probably the only person in the world that seems to enjoy pulling weeds. I am confused at this, but I am starting to learn that the people around me don't always see the world the way I do.

I try to explain this to Jiji. He tells me that's called being unique. Unique is a funny word, and if I was it, I think I would have known it before now. Still, Jiji seems to think it's a good thing, so I let him keep thinking that.

Jiji still teaches me to read in the evenings. It's a bit boring, but only because we're still on the letters and I can't actually read anything yet. Still, I get to spend time with Jiji, and I always like that.

As soon as Aya is watching over me or Jiji comes home from work, Shigeru leaves. I have watched him carefully, but he doesn't seem especially afraid of me. I think I was right in that he just doesn't like people. But even that doesn't quite seem to fit.

He gets uncomfortable when I try to talk to him, like he doesn't quite know what to say. And sometimes when he looks at Ko, he opens his mouth to say something, but then a flash of pain will cross his face and he'll close it again. I'm not sure if he realizes how excited Ko sometimes gets when he's around, and how disappointed he is when he leaves. He'll sit in the corner and pout until I lure him back out with toys.

I start to lose track of the days in the mansion. It is like living a wonderful dream, and I don't ever want to leave, but… I am not used to so many people being around all the time. Especially people who are so nice to me! It gets overwhelming sometimes, and in those moments, I think I understand how Shigeru feels. I wonder, though, what could have happened to him to make him feel overwhelmed like me.

I learn a bit more about Shigeru one day when Aya takes Konohamaru somewhere outside the mansion. It is a Sunday, which I know because Jiji has been teaching me the days of the week, and Sunday is always rest day for Sanken. That means there is nothing to do in the garden either, and Jiji is not home yet, so it isn't time for lessons.

I am at a loss for what to do, and Shigeru seems to take advantage of this, for he leads me into his study. It is the first time I have ever seen Shigeru's study, and I think that it fits him. It is not nearly as large or grand as Jiji's library, but it has a dark, casual elegance to it. He sits at his desk to work, as quiet as he always is, and I sit in a chair nearby, gazing around me.

Shigeru seems to enjoy reading like Jiji, for he has many books. Other than that, though, there is no real evidence in the room of his personality. He has nothing of his own lying around and everything is kept in pristine condition. It is almost intimidating.

There is only one picture in the room, and it catches my eye. Sitting next to him on the desk is a picture of a woman with dark eyes and olive skin just like Ko's. She is not a spectacularly gorgeous woman, but her smile makes you feel warm inside.

"Who is that?" I ask, pointing at the picture.

He tenses up in a way that makes me think I might have asked the wrong question. There is a long, heavy silence. I open my mouth to apologize, but at that moment, he speaks.

"That's my wife," he says in a voice that is so devoid of emotion, it is full of it.

I blink at the thought that this has to be Ko's mother. "Where is she?" I ask, almost hesitantly.

"Dead," Shigeru says brusquely, almost before I finish asking.

"… Oh." Is that why he is so quiet and closed-off all the time? I would not know. I have never lost anyone because until I met Jiji and his family, I didn't have anyone important to me.

"What are you thinking?" Shigeru's voice catches me off guard, but what he says catches me even more. I think it is the first time Shigeru has ever asked me a question.

"I was wondering if maybe you were so quiet all the time because you hurt a lot inside," I answer honestly. "That's why I'm quiet sometimes."

He starts at this and then stares at me for a moment with an expression that is almost… vulnerable. He seems surprised at my response, like he didn't expect me to guess right. Finally, he turns his head away from me to hide his expression. "Yes," he says, "sometimes that's why."

I nod and then say something else before I lose my nerve. "Ko misses you."

"What?" He turns back. He looks beyond surprised this time.

I take a deep breath and steel myself. "He misses you and wishes you'd spend less time by yourself. And even though he looks a lot like his mom, I think you should still play with him because if you don't then it's always going to hurt when you look at him and then you'll both be sad all the time. So you have to get used to it, and then it'll get better, just like every time I try to pull myself up in the kitchen chair, it gets a little easier and it hurts less. And then Ko won't be sad whenever you leave."

I flinch and look down, fully expecting him to yell at me. I feel like I just said things no one is ever supposed to say. I hope they don't throw me out for it. But I had to help Ko! And Shigeru too. It isn't good for him to be sad all the time.

There is silence, though, and it lasts for a long time. Finally, hesitantly, I look up. He is staring at me, his mouth opening and closing silently. I run out of the room, afraid of what he will say when he gets his voice back.

**_[Scene Break]_**

I lay on my bed for the rest of the day, staring out the window to the garden so I'll always remember it. I wait for someone to come in and tell me I have to leave now. I said so many bad things to Shigeru, I don't understand how they could ever want to keep me now.

But what I said was true, or I think it was. The more time I spend around people, the less overwhelming it gets. The less I hurt inside. All Shigeru is doing by closing himself off is making it worse.

Still, I probably shouldn't have said that. There is probably some unwritten rule somewhere that says you aren't supposed to talk about truths that are bad.

I think that's a stupid rule.

Still, Jiji and his family have done so much for me, couldn't I have put up with stupid rules for a while? But what if the rules hurt them? Then what am I supposed to do?

Either way, I think I ruined things. Maybe everyone liked playing pretend that the rules didn't make them sad. Maybe I ruined the game.

In fact, I'm sure I did, because surely Shigeru will have told everyone else how rude I was.

I cry a little, even though I tell myself that will probably just make things even worse.

It is late afternoon before anyone comes into my room. I hear their footsteps as they pause in the doorway, but I don't turn to look at them, filled with shame.

I do tense up when someone comes to sit on the bed behind me. They smell like Shigeru. The shame twists worse.

There is a long silence. Finally, he says, "Thank you." It is so soft, I almost don't hear it.

I blink at this, confused. "… What?" I finally ask tentatively.

I hear him take a deep breath. "Thank you," he repeats. "I had no idea my son was… just, thank you."

My confusion deepens. No one has ever thanked me for anything before. And to thank me for being so rude! Does he feel grateful to know how his son feels? Did I really help things after all?

Either way, he is not telling me I have to leave, and that fills me with a kind of relief that is indescribable. Perhaps my big mouth didn't ruin my chances of staying here after all.

Shigeru breaks the silence again. "This room is kind of plain," he comments quietly.

This almost amuses me. Only someone used to such rich surroundings would think such a comfortable room plain.

"Don't you think so?" he asks when I don't answer. I am surprised he hasn't gotten up to leave yet. Is he trying to prove something to me?

"Maybe a little," I answer quietly.

"Hmm…" He sounds thoughtful. "What's your favorite color?" he asks suddenly.

I have never thought about this before. I consider for a minute. "I… I don't know if I really have one," I answer finally. "But I don't like pink," I add firmly. "Just don't tell Aya that."

To my surprise, he laughs softly.

"Well, what color would you like on your walls?" he asks.

"Umm…" I gaze at the wall in front of me. The view outside my window catches my eye. "What about blue… like the sky?" I finally answer.

"That would look nice," he agrees after a moment. "How about I paint it for you?"

I turn to look at him, surprised. His face is serious, and a bit less tight then it always has been around me before. "Th-thank you," I stammer out, nodding frantically. "Can I help?"

He considers this. "I suppose you can," he says after a moment.

I can't help but beam, and to my surprise, he gives me a small smile back. Then he stands and leaves without another word.

I am left thinking that perhaps I should speak my mind more often if that is what happens every time I do.

**_[Scene Break]_**

After this, Shigeru starts spending more time with Konohamaru in the nursery. Ko seems ecstatic at this new development.

I watch Shigeru carefully. As time passes, the lines of pain around his eyes become less and less every time he looks at his son.

I learn that doing something nice for someone else feels warm.

**_[Scene Break]_**

One afternoon, Shigeru pulls me from the nursery to come up to my room. In it are a bunch of pails of funny-smelling blue liquid. He calls them paint. He says this is what we will be putting on the walls of my room.

I ask him if it will always smell like this. He laughs and says that it won't.

Shigeru has become much easier around me ever since that incident. I have not been in his study since, but he doesn't spend as much time in his study as he used to. He still spends a lot of time there, but not all of his time, which is good.

This shows itself as we paint my room together. Looking back, I'm sure I was more of a hindrance than a help. I had no idea there was any method to painting a room other than throwing liquid on the walls with a brush, and this is exactly what I did.

He is very patient with me, however, which surprises me endlessly. He takes my hand up in his big, warm ones and shows me how to hold the different instruments and where to paint. He goes over all my mistakes later, and I am amazed at how he can make it seem like they never happened.

We are mostly quiet as we work, but the silence is… different than it was before. Much warmer and more comfortable, like understanding and care. We simply don't have much to say to each other.

It is one of the best days I have ever had, and I hardly say a thing during it.

At the end of the day, I look up at the ceiling of my room and feel like I am gazing at the sky. It seems like magic.

I look back down to find Shigeru gazing at me. He has paint all over him, though not nearly as much as I do. I look a bit like I bathed in paint.

"Do you like it?" The question surprises me. I would have liked it if it was an ugly color, just because someone did it for me. But…

"Yes," I answer, smiling. "Thank you."

He gives me that small smile again. It reminds me a little of Jiji's.

That reminds me of something else. "Umm…"

"Yes?" he says, raising his eyebrows.

"Does this mean I get to call you uncle… now…?" I duck my head, blushing a furious red. I am quite sure he'll say no, but I have to ask. He has been so nice to me lately. I wondered. And Jiji keeps telling me you're always supposed to ask questions when you're confused about something.

"Well… yes, I suppose, if you want to…" My head shoots up so fast my neck almost cricks.

Shigeru looks somewhere between awkward and pleased at my expression. "Sure," he says when I just keep staring at him. "Why not?"

I think my face is going to break from all the smiling I've been doing lately.

**_[Scene Break]_**

I have not thought much about shinobi. I know now that they are fighters, and that Shigeru-jii is one, and that Jiji leads them. But I have not considered them beyond this.

Then one day, I am practicing reading in the library with Jiji. We have just finished and he is putting the letters away for the day when I say, "Jiji?"

"Hm?" he hums, not looking at me.

"Do all people live like we do?" Jiji turns to look at me, startled.

The truth is, I have been wondering this for a while, but just never found the right time to ask. I have not been outside the mansion grounds since Jiji brought me here, and I am very happy about that. But I do wonder about the rest of the village, and even the rest of the world.

"What do you mean?" Jiji asks curiously.

"Like…" I consider for a moment. "Happy and clean and full and… together," I finish lamely, not quite sure how to explain.

He seems to understand, however, because he nods thoughtfully. After a moment, he says, "Well, most everyone in Konoha does."

I think this is amazing, but I do catch what he didn't say. "But not everyone in the world?"

Jiji frowns, and there is another long pause before he answers. "No. Some people live… a bit like you used to. You see, Naruto-chan, we are what is called a Hidden Village. That means we carry shinobi. A lot of people think that it is wrong for any village, especially a Hidden Village, to hold people who feel emotions… like happiness."

I think of the days when I was nothing but numb, and I shudder. That is stupid, but it is a dangerous kind of stupid I have never heard of before. "But we don't think like that, right?" I ask quickly.

"Most of us don't," Jiji answers, nodding. "But Konoha is different from most other Hidden Villages, so some think we are weak."

I frown. "That's dumb," I say after a moment's thought. "I don't like that. I don't want those kind of people to come anywhere near here. They can just go live somewhere else and be stupid and unhappy."

Jiji laughs at this, though I can't understand why. I was being perfectly serious.

"Well, unfortunately, those people will continue trying to convince us they're right," he says after his laughter fades. "As long as they believe they are right."

My frown deepens. I feel a strange emotion inside of me. I feel like I don't want anyone to hurt my village… even if some people in it don't like me. Because it's special like Jiji says it is. Places like that should be protected, I think.

"Jiji, what do shinobi fight for?" I ask after a moment.

"What do they fight for?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow.

"I know they fight," I say, a bit impatient, "but what do they fight _for_?"

He stares at me for a long moment. "A shinobi could fight for many different reasons," he finally says. "Each shinobi must decide why they fight for themselves. Some never find the answer to this question. Others find an answer that only ends up hurting them in the end. But each shinobi searches for the answer to that question at one point or another in their lives."

It takes me a few minutes of contemplation to understand this. "… Then… could a shinobi fight to defend a certain place… or idea?" I add as an afterthought.

The smile he gives me is almost… proud. "It's one of the best reasons a shinobi could ever fight."

I nod, rather pleased with myself. "Then… I think I want to be a shinobi."

Author's Notes: I have gotten comments that Konohamaru seems too old for his age (of three or so), so I would like to make it clear that at the beginning of the chapter, Ko could not understand what his father and grandfather were saying. He realized that Naruto had to leave when Hiruzen tried to help her up, and he realized his father was scolding him by his tone. Things like that.

I do realize that Naruto and Ko both seem a bit too old for their age at times, but this is the only way I could really make the story do what I want it to do. There's only so much you can do with a normal three-year-old and isolated six-year-old, and I am trying to limit myself where I can. I originally wanted Naruto to be younger, but realized there really was no way I could make that work.

I do appreciate people pointing this out to me, as my goal in fanfiction is to become a better writer. So, for the record, I am aware that occasionally the younger characters seem a little unrealistic. Don't worry; I don't think they'll be this young very much longer.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	7. Chapter 6

_Chapter Six_

_Approx. One Year Later_

I wake up feeling inexplicably happy. There's no particular reason for the feeling, but I have learned that you don't always need a good, solid reason to feel happy. Sometimes you just do.

I count all the reasons why I should be happy as I get dressed. There are many, many reasons.

It's a beautiful day, and I'll probably spend all morning out in the garden, tending to the plants and reveling in the knowledge that something needs me to grow.

I finally got up the courage to ask Aya if she could buy me some shorts and pants a few months ago, and she promised she would. I have not had to wear a skirt since.

Shigeru-jii promised me he would start helping me with my aim and throwing skills soon, since it says in all the books I read with Jiji that kunai and shuriken are vital to any ninja's repertoire (a silly word). Children are not allowed to enter the Shinobi Academy – which is way out there in the middle of Konoha, a daunting prospect – until they are eight in times of peace, but having Shigeru-jii help me with my first weapons is almost as good. Especially since Shigeru-jii is not around as often as he used to be.

Jiji tells me that the people of Konoha have finally started to calm down from the fright they got when they realized I was missing. I wonder if they all started looking under their beds for sharp teeth and scary growling, but I don't have the heart to ask Jiji.

Jiji told them I was in a "secure, unspecified location", and after people didn't start disappearing randomly or getting mutilated, Konoha had to assume their leader was keeping them safe. After it was clear things were starting to calm down, Shigeru-jii stopped guarding me all the time and went back on active duty. It turns out the only reason he was around all the time in the first place is because he was on a "term of leave." Now he's back as an active shinobi. He sometimes disappears for days on end to go on missions, or he goes out to work for the day like Jiji, patrolling the village.

I tell myself firmly that because he's happier, that's one more thing to be happy for. Even though I miss him sometimes.

Finally, and most importantly, I am happy because I have the right to live. Just as I have promised myself I always will be.

I put on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt – in orange, a bright, beautiful color I've taken a liking to – and brush my hair until it gleams. Then I go down the stairs to the kitchen.

Jiji is already there, which isn't a surprise. But so is the rest of the family, and that definitely is a surprise. Even Ko is there, looking sleepy in his father's lap… and I didn't even know his father was back from his latest mission yet. Did he rush just to be back here this morning? Sanken is sitting next to Jiji. Aya is standing near the stove full of already-cooking food.

"Is something wrong?" I blurt out.

Jiji raises his eyebrows. "Why would you think that?" He sounds genuinely confused.

"Everyone's up," I answer, just as confused.

"Of course we are," Aya says dismissively, bustling around the cupboards. "You know what day it is, right?"

Is there something special about today? Not that I can remember. I shake my head, frowning a little.

"Today is your seventh birthday," Shigeru-jii says gently. He turns to Ko on his lap and shakes him a little. "Right, Ko?"

"Bir'day," Ko yawns, rubbing his eyes.

"So sit down and let us give you your presents already," Sanken adds, growly in spite of everything. Aya gives him a Look from the stove, and he makes a kind of warding off gesture with his hands.

Aya and Sanken don't get along too well.

"I… get presents?" I ask dumbly. What do presents have to do with birthdays?

"Everyone gets gifts from the people important to them on their birthdays, Naruto-chan. That's the way it's supposed to work," Jiji explains. He seems sad again, like he's explaining something I should already know. He hasn't sounded like that in a while.

"Oh. Okay," I agree, eager to cheer him up. Besides, who am I to turn down presents they've picked out just for me?

I sit down at the table with my family, but Aya says I have to wait until after breakfast so that she can watch too. I don't understand what could be so interesting about watching someone open a box, but maybe she wants to know if I like what she bought me or not.

Apparently, some people don't like gifts even though someone was kind enough to buy one just for them. I won't ever be someone like that, but for some reason, my family seems to keep thinking I will. It's almost insulting.

Breakfast is huge, and full of lots of yummy food. That's how most of the food Aya cooks is. I think that's why I'm not so skinny anymore.

Finally, though, breakfast is over and the plates are cleared from the table. Shigeru-jii puts down Ko, who has been miraculously revived by pancakes drowned in sugary syrup, and walks out of the room for a moment. When he comes back, he's carrying a whole bunch of boxes wrapped in beautiful, shiny paper. He puts them down on the table in front of me, and my eyes widen.

"They're all for me?" I ask incredulously. Shigeru-jii's lips twitch a little as he nods.

I think that's amazing. I sit there for a moment, entranced, before carefully picking up a box. The beautiful paper has been taped over the box in layers, but I don't just want to tear it off. That would ruin it. So I carefully peel the paper off at the corners, making sure not to tear any of it, and pull the big sheet away from the box.

Inside is a brand-new, gleaming set of kunai and shuriken. My face lights up in excitement as I look up to Shigeru-jii. He smiles. "Hey, I promised, didn't I?"

Aya clears her throat and gives him a pointed look. "Right," he says hurriedly, "and the first thing I'm going to teach you is how to hold them so you don't hurt yourself." He practically scurries around the table toward me and spends a few minutes teaching me where and how to grip each of them, and to hold them away from myself.

Finally, Ko, who has been bouncing impatiently in his chair, shouts, "Mine next! Mine next!" We both turn to look at him, and Shigeru-jii lets out a soft laugh.

"Of course," he says, and slides out a big paper card that I hadn't noticed before from the pile.

Drawn on it in crayon is a messy, childish picture of Ko and me playing ninja together. At the top, in big, scrawling letters, are the words, "Happy Birthday Nee-chan."

Tears fill my eyes as the warmth in my chest blazes. "It's beautiful," I say, beaming over at Ko. He grins, looking rather proud of himself.

All of my other presents are just as perfect. Aya has sewn me a beautiful, colorful patchwork quilt to throw over my bed. Sanken has made me a wooden trellis to set up around the frame of my window, promising me he'll teach me how to grow ivy and certain kinds of climbing flowers on it later. Jiji gives me a book on the three main shinobi skills: taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu. He also says they have bought me a bookshelf to put in my room and start my own collection of books.

At the end of it all, I think I have the best family in the whole world.

They even spend the rest of their morning helping me set everything up in my room. The quilt is put on the bed. Sanken puts up the trellis around my window, and Shigeru-jii puts the bookcase together just a little ways away from my wardrobe, saying all those words Aya always slaps him over the back of the head for all the while. The book goes on the first shelf once it's finished. The kunai, shuriken, polish, and sharpener I put on top of my chest of drawers, right in front of the mirror.

Ko just sort of runs around getting in everyone's way until Jiji makes a suggestion about the wrapping paper I saved. He says that I could cut out a square from every piece of wrapping paper I save, and make a sort of collage of them on the back of my bedroom door. I like this idea, and Ko and I end up doing this together. We tape each large square on the inside of the door, leaving room for others for later years.

I like the idea that there will be later years.

The rest of the paper I fold and put inside the first drawer in my chest of drawers. I tuck Ko's card in carefully at the top.

As I shut the drawer, the words flash in front of my vision.

Happy Birthday Nee-chan.

* * *

Later in the week, I am spending my nightly reading time with Jiji. Sometimes he teaches me other things, like math or history or something about shinobi, but a lot of the time we just read together. Instead of taking out a book tonight, however, once he gets to the library he picks me up and sets me on his lap.

"Naruto-chan," he begins, "how would you like to meet some other little girls your own age?"

My eyes widen at this. "I thought I was supposed to stay here and be safe," I say with a bit of panic. I'm not leaving, am I?

"You'll still be here most of the time," he reassures me. "But there are some etiquette lessons going on in the village, arranged for little girls from six to eight."

"Etiquette lessons?" I echo, wrinkling my nose a little. "What are those?"

He smiles. "Etiquette, as I've told you, means manners. But in this particular case, it would mean preparing a little girl to become a very confident and graceful young woman. A lot of parents pay a certain woman in the village to teach their daughters lessons about this."

Well, I don't think I want to be clumsy or under confident when I grow up. Still… something in me hesitates to leave the estate. I always knew I would have to eventually, of course, but I hadn't thought that "eventually" would come quite so soon.

"What if…" I trail off. Jiji waits patiently. Finally, I continue, "What if something happens? Or the teacher tries something? Or the other little girls don't like me?"

I am surprised when he smiles warmly. "As long as you act like yourself, Naruto-chan, I can't see the other girls not liking a wonderful little girl like you." I can't help but blush at this; it's still so odd every time someone says something like that to me. "And as for your other worries…" Jiji pauses, considering. "I'll tell you what. Do you remember Cat?"

The tall, dark-haired, masked woman. I still have her cloak. I beam and nod.

"What if she sits in on the first few lessons with you? Not participating, but watching from a distance to make sure everything goes alright. She would even escort you to and from there. Would that be okay?"

I nod at this. Cat is rather intimidating, but she definitely looks out for me. So she can be intimidating to everyone else instead.

"If you do this, it would also mean something else, Naruto-chan," Jiji adds. I look back up at him curiously. "It would mean that I would have to announce to the village that you're living with me, since you're starting to go out among the people. Granted, this place is much better protected then it appears to be, so we shouldn't have any problems, but I want you to be aware that everyone will know you as the Hokage's granddaughter, as well as the Kyuubi container."

Somehow, that actually doesn't worry me so much. The idea of Jiji telling everyone I'm his granddaughter makes me feel warm inside.

"I'd like that," I say, smiling up at him.

His answering smile is brilliant. "So would I."

* * *

The following days are filled with preparation. Aya is buying me a whole mountain of new clothes (I secretly think she actually enjoys doing this) and Jiji gives me a book on the different things I should expect to learn at the lessons. He is busy at the office more and more, preparing the way for me I think, so I usually play with Ko or fix up my trellis with Sanken or spend time with Shigeru-jii when he isn't on duty.

Most of all, I read the book Jiji gave me. I learn a little bit about different things like flower arrangement, tea ceremony, dancing, singing, and wearing kimono. Some of it sounds interesting, but not like anything I could ever do. Whenever I think about this, I actually feel clumsier, as if my body is reminding me that I am going to fail.

I eventually admit this to Shigeru-jii. He looks at me speculatively for a moment. "Come with me," he finally says, and leads me down to the kitchen.

We walk through the kitchen and to the back, where there is a small wooden door that I always thought led to a pantry or cupboard. Shigeru-jii opens it, however, and steps back, gesturing me inside with a small, almost mysterious smile. Curiously, I step through the doorway and see a set of stairs leading downward. I start down the stairs, hearing Shigeru-jii close the door behind me and climb down after me. The moment he closes the door, the stairwell is thrown into darkness and I have to grope around for the handrail before I feel it's safe to go the rest of the way down.

When we finally get to the bottom, I feel Shigeru-jii reach over my head and then there's a _click._ Suddenly, bright fluorescent lighting blazes over our heads. I blink the spots out of my eyes for a moment before looking up… and I can actually feel myself gaping.

In front of me is an entire floor of connected training rooms, one after the other, holding all the kinds of shinobi training equipment I've ever imagined and quite a few I haven't. Each room seems to be set up for a specific training purpose, and there are a few rooms I don't understand the purpose of at all. At the far end of the floor, I think I can even see a big pool of water.

"This is where you'll do most of the shinobi training you do at home," Shigeru-jii announces unnecessarily.

I am speechless for a moment, another thing that hasn't happened in the Sarutobi Mansion in a while.

Shigeru-jii doesn't let me stand there for long, however, pushing me gently through the different doorways to one of the rooms. Most of the floor in this room seems to be made of matting, the only equipment being training dummies set up at the far end. Shigeru-jii kneels down to look me in the eye and smiles. "Did you know that taijutsu is a lot like dance?"

I nod. "I read about that."

"So a good way to practice your reflexes and coordination for things like dancing would be to practice taijutsu, would it not?"

"I… I guess so," I reply, feeling a flare of hope inside me.

Sure enough: "Would you like me to start teaching you taijutsu? If you can do this, certainly dance shouldn't be too much harder. Right?"

My nodding becomes frantic. "And… kunai and shuriken training too, right?" I add, just to make sure.

He looks almost amused. "Of course."

As it turns out, we don't actually start out with any specific style. Instead, Shigeru-jii wants to build up my strength and endurance. Taijutsu training starts out with a lot of push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, and running. Shigeru-jii teaches me how to do things like somersaults and cartwheels. He teaches me balancing exercises. He even starts teaching me how to swim. The work is very hard, but I love it. I love the feeling I get when I push myself, when I know I'm getting stronger.

Kunai and shuriken training is a bit simpler. In the beginning, it's mostly just a matter of holding the weapons right and forming good aim. After you learn what you're supposed to do, it's all a matter of individual practice.

I start training a lot on my own, even after Shigeru-jii leaves on another week-long mission. Quite apart from wanting to get better, I find that the more I push myself, the less I worry about my upcoming lessons and the more confident I feel that won't mess up in front of the other girls.

Ko does a lot of the training with me, which comes as a bit of a surprise. Ko is just turning four, so the exercises are sometimes much harder for him than they are for me. Still, he sticks with it, his little face screwed up in concentration as he huffs and puffs along behind me. When he gets too far behind, he'll sometimes call out, "Nee-chan!" and I'll stop for a second to wait for him. Most of the time, though, I don't have to. I'm just as unused to this type of exercise as he is.

Whenever Ko joins my training, Aya comes down to the training rooms with us to supervise. She purses her lips a lot when she has to watch us train, sighing and tutting every so often. It's kind of uncomfortable. I don't like the feeling that Aya disapproves of something I enjoy doing.

I overheard her talking to Shigeru-jii once, the day after that first afternoon in the training rooms. I was coming in from a morning with Sanken, covered in fertilizer and with grass stains on my knees, preparing to ask Shigeru-jii if we could go down to the training rooms again, when I heard voices in the sitting room. I wouldn't have stopped to listen… if I hadn't heard my name. I crept closer to the door just in time to hear Aya say, "… just a child! They don't need their heads filled with all of that die-hard shinobi nonsense yet!"

Shigeru-jii's voice was hard and steely in a way I'd never heard before as he responded, "That die-hard shinobi nonsense keeps the people of this village alive."

"Yes, and I respect that, but that doesn't mean you should be teaching it to such young children!"

"In a year, Naruto will be old enough to start training at the Academy." His voice softened slightly. "And you know Konohamaru will try to do whatever Naruto does. She's his big sister. He looks up to her, and he looks up to us. He just wants to fit in with the rest of his family."

"And I can't persuade him to the contrary. Stubborn, your son. I can't imagine where he got it from," she added sarcastically. "Well, Hiruzen-sama approves, so I suppose you'll get your way anyway. But I think you're pushing them too much."

"Better to be pushed too much than too little," Shigeru-jii said in that same steely voice, and Aya didn't have any response.

* * *

Finally, the first day of my lessons comes. It doesn't start out too well. Despite all my preparation, my stomach is nauseous from nerves. Aya doesn't help. When she walks into the kitchen to make breakfast and sees me dressed in a shirt and a pair of jeans, she takes one look at me and says, "Oh, that won't do at all!" Then she rushes me back upstairs and puts me in a very itchy pink dress with too many frills. She says this is what "ladies" wear. I tell her if this is what ladies wear, I don't ever want to be a lady and I don't need to go to the lessons after all.

It makes sense to me. I actually feel some hope at this thought, but Aya shakes her head at me and says, "Everything's already been prepared for you, Naruto-san. I don't think you have a choice."

By the time breakfast is over, my nervousness has increased to the point where I can hardly speak.

Jiji left even earlier than I could get up this morning, but when I walk out the front door, he is waiting there with Cat. She looks just the same as she ever did, right down to her mask and the sword at her back. Jiji raises an eyebrow at my clothing, and I sigh. "Aya."

"Ah." Jiji doesn't sound surprised.

He kneels down to look me in the eye, like he usually does when he's about to tell me something important. "Everything is ready, Naruto-chan. Today's lesson is being held nearby, at a local flower field."

"Flower arrangement?" I mutter.

He smiles a little at my tone and nods. "Probably," he says gently. "But this means you won't actually have to travel through the village on your first day. Cat will still be there watching if anything goes wrong. But try to make friends and not just cling to her, alright?"

I calm a little at his soothing tone, and at his words. Taking a deep breath, I nod. I can do this. How hard can putting flowers in color-coded bunches be, anyway?

His smile widens at my determined expression. "Good. Now, I'm going to head out to the office. The two of you should get going."

He stands up and directs the last sentence to Cat, who gives a single, silent nod. Then he gives me one last encouraging smile and turns to walk down the drive. We watch him in silence for a few moments before Cat turns to me. "Do you want me to carry you? It'll be quicker that way."

I beam despite myself and nod quickly, eager to fly again. She gathers me up in her arms like she did all that time ago and speeds out the gate behind Jiji.

Soon we're running through the branches of tall trees, leaping from treetop to treetop through the forest. "Cat," I say as we run, "you're in ANBU, right?"

"Yes," she says simply, not pausing in her sprint.

I grin. "That's cool. I've read about ANBU. They're supposed to be some of the strongest shinobi in the entire village. That means you're really strong, right?"

"Compared to the average shinobi, I… suppose I am," she says quietly, but I can hear a hint of something I can't quite define in her voice.

We pass out of the forest, the cool, clear wind cutting into our faces. I can see all the big estates up ahead, but Cat turns a different way, running alongside the edge of the estates and out past them. Behind the estates are a long stretch of quiet fields. Looking over to the left, way out in the distance, I can see the city part of Konoha running the length of the estates and the fields. Looking over to the right, I can see the long stretch of forest we came from, and the great wall beyond it. In front of me are the fields, and way out in the distance I can see a particularly colorful one with a group of people sitting next to it.

My stomach lurches despite myself.

Cat speeds along between the fields until, faster than I would have thought possible, the group of people has loomed close enough that I can see they're a bunch of little girls around my age, with a woman standing in front of them. The woman looks up to see Cat slowing down to walk closer. Her eyes widen, and all the little girls turn to look too. I see a couple of them gasp, and then they all start whispering to each other. Clearly, they've been told about me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Feeling self-conscious, I wiggle slightly in Cat's arms. She gets the message and sets me down so that I can walk on my own. I try to match her long strides as we walk right up to the group, hiding my face behind my long curtain of golden hair in a nervous gesture.

Cat turns to the woman. "Uzumaki Naruto," she says brusquely, gesturing to me. "I will be staying to observe. Security reasons, you understand."

"Of course," the woman says immediately, but when she glances over at me, I'm not sure if she does. She is a very strict-looking woman in a neat, precise, picture-perfect dress. Not a hair is out of place in the bun on her head, and square glasses hide her brown eyes. She is not frowning, but there is something tight about her face, like she doesn't want me here. Her eyes are cold. Not as cold as the matron's, but still rather chilly.

I am glad Cat will be here.

Cat retreats some distance away to watch, and the woman turns back to the class. "Well, as you all can see, we have a new student today. Please treat her with respect."

"Yes, Takara-sensei," the class recites mechanically. I wonder if they practice so that they can all say it in unison.

Takara-sensei turns to me. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Have a seat, Uzumaki-san," she says, a bit stiffly.

I nod silently and turn to the rest of the girls. Over twenty pairs of curious eyes stare right back at me, and it is very intimidating.

Finally, I decide there is nothing else for it and go to sit next to two girls in the back, one with strawberry blonde hair so deep it's almost pink, the other a platinum blonde.

* * *

Author's Notes: Obviously, I kind of made up the lessons. I know Ino and Sakura met through some sort of girl-lesson-flower-arrangement type of thing, but I don't think much is ever really said about it, so I filled in the blanks with whatever I wanted. I completely made up the teacher.

If this turns out to diverge with canon at all… my story. But I don't think it does.

Sakura and Ino are already friends here. Remember, this is for girls 6-8 and Naruto is a late arrival. They've known each other for a while already.

In other news, time should start to move a bit faster after this. A couple of chapters or so and we'll (finally) get to the Academy… and some time will be spent on that, so don't expect to just skip through that and get to graduation. I will be trying to introduce more action and shinobi-oriented stuff into this story slowly, so that it's not like one chapter she's painting her room with Shigeru and the next missing-nin are trying to kill her. Not to mention, I'm actually planning for some pretty important stuff to happen around Academy era.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	8. Chapter 7

_Chapter Seven_

The woman, Takara-sensei, explains that we are indeed practicing flower arrangement today. Just before she dismisses us, she asks the two girls sitting next to me to explain to me what to do.

They seem all too eager to do this. I already knew about the decree forbidding the adults of the village to talk about my status as a Jinchuuriki – it was one of the first pieces of village history that Jiji ever taught me – so I knew that no one my age would know I held a demon, but I still hadn't expected the other girls to be so… eager to speak with me. Is it because I live with the Hokage?

The girl with the red ribbon threaded though her short, strawberry blonde hair introduces herself as Haruno Sakura. The girl with the pretty hair clip in her platinum blonde hair introduces herself as Yamanaka Ino.

As the class scatters and they show me to the field where we'll be picking the flowers, they bombard me with questions about life in the Hokage's household. It's a little bit overwhelming, but I am delighted to be talking with them so easily.

"I love your dress. Do you have tons of dresses like that?"

"I have some, but I don't like them very much. They're kind of itchy and annoying."

"Oh, I think it's amazing."

"Yeah, I would kill to have a dress like that."

"Kill?" I ask dubiously.

"Well, maybe just maim and leave for dead," Ino says matter-of-factly. I'm not sure whether or not to take her seriously.

"I heard Hokage-sama sometimes plays host to the Fire Daimyo himself," Sakura says with shy eagerness, glancing at me for confirmation. Ino nods along, her expression intensely curious.

I nod too, remembering the first time a visitor ever came to the mansion.

The news came rather suddenly. The Daimyo apparently enjoys making vacation trips to his summer home in Konoha, and one day while he was in the village he just up and told Jiji that he was thinking about coming over for dinner that night. Jiji says he smiled and nodded and pretended he wasn't having an aneurysm.

I don't know what an aneurysm is, but it sounds bad.

Anyway, he sent a Bunshin to the mansion with the news immediately, and everyone was running around in a panic for the rest of the day. Special food had to be cooked and clothes had to be washed, ironed, and laid out beforehand. The long table in the dining room had to be prepared for the meal, instead of the kitchen table we usually use, and the finest silver and china had to be put on it. Even the chopsticks were of a dark, beautiful wood that was perfectly sized and polished. The entire first floor had to be scrubbed spotless and the gardens had to be mowed and pruned. I had read before about how important the Daimyo was, but I thought this was ridiculous!

And I hated the dress I was put into. It was so big and frilly that it looked like I was being put into one of Aya's gigantic, sugary puddings. Apparently, I would have had an actual kimono bought for me, but children aren't expected to know how to wear kimono until they're at least eight, so I could get away with wearing the simpler, western-style dress.

Ko didn't have to attend the dinner because he was so young, but apparently I was just old enough to attend. I envied my brother.

The evening turned out to be horrible, too. The Daimyo was a small, skinny, pale man with a face like a fish. His wife had great rolls of fat hanging off of her body that moved whenever she walked, and she wore so much make-up that I couldn't possibly tell what her face really looked like.

Neither of them even seemed to notice I was there. They spent all their time talking to Jiji and Shigeru-jii (both in kimono) in loud, imperious voices. I just sat there, silent, throughout the whole two-hour meal. The one time they asked about me, they asked Jiji, like I wasn't even there. I was relieved when the four adults went to the sitting room and Aya came to usher me back up to the upper floors.

"Yes," I answer Ino and Sakura out loud, "but it's never very much fun."

Ino and Sakura give me incredulous looks. "Who cares?" Ino says excitedly. "You're having dinner with the leader of the country!" She gives a little squeal, and Sakura sighs dreamily next to her.

I don't quite understand this, and I think that they might feel differently if they actually knew what it was like to have dinner with the leader of the country, but I say nothing, for we are finally in the midst of the flower field.

It's beautiful, and it smells so wonderful with all the different scents. I can name almost all of the flowers around me, and I think that Sanken will be very proud of me when he hears that. He has been teaching me about flowers ever since we started growing ivy and different kinds of roses and night flowers on my trellis.

"Now," Ino says, turning to me and adopting a slightly bossy 'teaching' voice, "here's what you have to do…"

I quickly realize that, bossy or not, Ino knows a lot about flower arrangement. She is an expert at picking out what colors and flowers look best together, and in what sort of arrangement. I learn more about flower arranging in one hour with her than I have from any book.

I tell her this, and she smiles, looking pleased with herself. "My mother owns a flower shop. I do this sort of thing with her all the time."

"Yeah," Sakura says, smiling from beside her, "Ino's the one who taught me how to do flower arranging, too. I could _never _understand how to do it right before her."

She gives Ino an almost worshipful look, and Ino looks even more pleased with herself.

I get flower arrangement fairly quickly, though, and after that I have fun picking out all the different flowers and colors and putting them together into one big bunch. I was right. It _is _kind of easy, once it's explained to you.

"Wow," Sakura says when I'm all done, staring at the bouquet in my hands, "it's very… erm… bright."

I look down at my bouquet. I did choose mostly bright colors, like I favor. "Is that bad?" I ask, slightly worried.

"Not really," Ino says dismissively, glancing at my bouquet. "It just means you'd be better for decorating at brighter occasions."

"Oh." So I won't be flower arranging for any funerals? Good. That would be kind of depressing. Who'd want to decorate for an occasion like that?

I'm not sure Takara-sensei agrees with my choice of colors either, though. When we go back to the dirt road and I hand her my bunch to be put in the pile she's making of them, she stares at it for a long moment before giving me an awful, tight little smile and taking it from me almost carefully, like she doesn't really want to.

But I can't really tell if she's acting like this because of what I am, or because she just doesn't like my choices.

At least Sakura and Ino don't seem to notice her behavior.

We spend the rest of the time sitting around, talking, and they bombard me with more questions about life in the Sarutobi Mansion. I explain a little bit about the mansion and its different stories, and about the gardens. They seem awed and dreamy-eyed at the images of luxury. Is Jiji really that rich?

Finally, though, they have to let up on their questions because Takara-sensei has called them over to help one of the other girls with something. They run off to see what Sensei wants, and I sit there for a few moments, taking the free time to soak in the view around me. This really is a pretty place. I think I'd like to come back here. I bet there are even some flowers here that Sanken doesn't have in his garden yet.

I catch sight of Cat, standing exactly where she was at the beginning of the lesson. In my excitement of making two new friends, I'd almost forgotten she was there. I smile at her and wave. After a moment, she raises her hand quietly back.

Abruptly, I hear someone clear their throat behind me. Blinking in surprise, I turn to see a few other girls from the class standing there. All of them seem to center around one, a little girl with dark hair and a round, slightly scrunched-up face.

"So," she says, smiling sweetly, "you're the Hokage's granddaughter, right?"

That's exactly how Sakura and Ino started their questioning. I brace myself and nod.

"I'm Ami," she offers, not even bothering to introduce any of the girls around her. "My Daddy is one of the most important people in the city."

Her confidence in this makes me raise my eyebrows. "Really?" I ask curiously. "What is he?"

"He's a really rich merchant. He owns about half the stores in the entire village," Ami boasts proudly.

I privately disagree. I think ninjas are the most important people in the village. "That's nice," I say, smiling slightly.

She blinks and scrunches up her face for a moment at my answer. Before I can ask her if something is wrong, the smile is back. "So," she continues casually, "I saw that you were talking with Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino."

Ami pauses here, as if waiting for a response. After a moment, I nod uncertainly, not sure what she's expecting me to say.

Her smile widens. "You just got here, so I wouldn't expect you to know this," she explains, managing to sound much more condescending than Jiji or Shigeru-jii or Aya or even Sanken do when they're explaining something to me. "No one cool ever hangs around with Haruno Sakura."

She rolls her eyes slightly. The girls around her titter, the first thing they've done other than just stand there.

I frown, honestly confused. "What do you mean?"

Her voice takes on a slightly nasally quality. "No one likes her. She's a whiny little know-it-all Forehead Girl," she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And Ino just lets her follow her around like a lost puppy because she's trying to be like me, but isn't cool enough to know how to do it right." The girls around her apparently think this is funny. They giggle. Shrilly.

I think I understand, but I hope I don't. "You don't like Sakura because she knows a lot and she's got a wide forehead," I say slowly, to make sure I have this right. "And you don't like Ino because she's friends with her?"

Ami's face scrunches up again. "Careful," she says, sounding a little sour. "You sounded almost like Forehead Girl for a minute there."

I decide I don't like this girl. She's mean and stupid.

"I like Sakura and Ino," I say hotly, standing up abruptly. "Go away."

Ami sputters. The other girls' eyes widen. "You're choosing them over _me_?" she asks angrily… disbelievingly.

"They're my friends," I shoot back, before I can think about what I'm saying. "And you're mean. And for your information, I think being a merchant is one of the least important jobs in the whole village! Ninjas are way better!"

Ami makes a funny squealing noise and starts toward me, clenching her fists. I'm too angry to even be scared and wait for her to try to hit me. But suddenly, Cat is standing between us. She doesn't even have to say anything. The moment the other girls see her, they shriek and start running away. Ami stumbles back from her, squealing louder, and then she turns tail and follows the rest of the girls.

It's actually pretty funny.

Then Cat turns to me and my smile fades. I shrink back. I can't believe I couldn't even go one day without getting into a fight with someone. But it wasn't entirely my fault! Ami was being really mean. Still, I don't think a lady would have yelled back at her.

Cat doesn't reprimand me, however. She just points behind me quietly.

I turn, and my eyes widen to see Sakura and Ino hiding nearby, staring at me from behind a tree. There is a moment of silence as my heart flies into my throat in fear. I called them my friends. I didn't mean to; it just sort of came out. What if they don't like that I think of them that way? Then Ino steps out from behind the tree.

She grins, and there's something warmer about her face. "I think," she says, "I just might like you."

Sakura trots up behind her and gives me a small, sincere smile. "Thanks," she whispers, like I just did something great for her.

Now my heart is in my throat for a different reason.

**_[Scene Break]_**

After the lesson, Cat drops me off back in front of the mansion. She gives me a silent salute and is about to turn and leave when I stop her. "Cat?"

She stops and turns her mask back toward me.

"Why did you defend me from a little girl like Ami?" I wonder. "Would she really have hurt me that badly?"

Cat regards me in silence for a long moment. "My orders were to protect you from all harm, no matter how small," she finally says. "Even if she had just slapped you, that still would have meant you'd come home with a red mark on your face and I would have gotten a dressing down from Hokage-sama.

"… Besides," she adds, "I didn't like her."

I can't help but grin at this as Cat leaps away.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Ami is annoying.

As I enter the mansion itself, I reflect dizzily on how much has happened in a few hours. I arranged my first flowers, learned that sometimes girls can be very stupid and shallow, and… and I think I might have made my first friends.

Friends. _Me._

"Naruto-san?" I look up and realize I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn't even notice Aya polishing the floor of the entrance hall a few feet away from me.

"How was your lesson?" she asks curiously, sitting up from her kneeling position to wipe sweat from her brow.

"We did flower arrangement, and I made the brightest bouquet out of the entire class," I answer proudly.

She smiles in amusement. "Yes," she says a bit dryly, "I just bet you did."

I nod excitedly. "Yeah, and I made friends with these two really nice girls. Their names are Sakura and Ino. Sakura's supposed to be really smart, and her hair looks almost pink! Isn't that amazing? Pink hair!"

"Very amazing," Aya says absently, going back to her work.

"Do you think I can have pink hair?"

"No."

"Aww… why not?"

"Because if you ever tried to dye your hair, your grandfather might just go into cardiac arrest. And your uncle would either do the same or laugh so hard he couldn't breathe. There's just no telling with that one."

"What's cardiac arrest?"

"Heart failure."

"Oh." Well, I definitely don't want that to happen. But, "Why is dying your hair so bad?"

Aya stops and thinks about that for a moment. "Well, it's just one of those proper things, I suppose," she says, although she doesn't sound entirely sure. "And it's not something children do anyway. It makes your hair go funny."

Never mind. I like my hair. I don't want anything to happen to it. Besides, gold is a nice color too.

I stop and try to remember what I was talking about before being distracted by pink hair. "Oh yeah! And there was this other girl named Ino, and she's kind of bossy, but kind of nice too once you get to know her. Her mom owns a flower shop!"

"Really?" Aya says idly, not looking up. "Which one?"

I frown. "I'm not sure," I realize. "But her last name was… something that starts with a Y… Ya…"

"Yamanaka?" Aya says in a startled voice, finally looking up.

I nod. "That's it. You know them?"

Aya nods slowly, slightly wide-eyed. "The Yamanaka are a major ninja family. The head of the family's wife owns Yamanaka Flowers."

"Really? So Ino's the daughter of the head of a ninja family?" I ask, interested.

Aya nods. "Yes, that must be her. So, the Yamanaka heiress and a girl with pinkish hair. You have picked some interesting friends, Naruto-san."

"Good," I say, wrinkling my nose a little. "Who would want boring friends? That doesn't sound like much fun."

Aya laughs. "True," she admits. Then she looks at my dress and sighs. "Not again."

I look down. There's dirt caked all over it from running all over the field. Oops. "Sorry," I say in a small voice, hanging my head.

"It's alright." She sounds exasperated. "Put it in the laundry basket. I'll wash it later."

I nod and hurry up the stairs past her, eager to get my dress off. In my room, as I change into a pair of shorts and an orange tank top, and put my hair up in a ponytail like Aya taught me to do, I finally relax. Today wasn't so bad. Ami was mean, but judging from what Ino and Sakura told me about her later, Ami is mean to everybody who doesn't follow her around like those girls do. Sometimes she's even mean to them.

I go down to the second floor, where Aya's room is, and drop the dress in the laundry basket outside her door.

Suddenly, there is a patter of little feet behind me. "Nee-chan?" Ko's voice sounds hopeful.

I turn to him, smiling. "Hey, Ko. I'm back."

He beams at me… and then without warning, he bursts into tears. "Ko?" I ask, alarmed, but before I can get anything else out, he runs at me and hugs me so hard I almost fall over.

"Trained hard today," he sobs into my shirt. "Trained hard just like you."

I rub his back, not sure what's wrong with that. "That's great, Ko," I say softly, trying not to startle him.

He sobs quietly for a few moments. "Nee-chan?" he finally mumbles, not looking up.

"Yeah?"

"Not leaving, right?" I look down, stunned.

He was worried I was leaving? And not coming back?

"Of course not," I say quickly, kneeling down to look him in the eye. He sniffles a little, tears running down his cheeks. "I just have to go away during the day sometimes to do girly things."

"Really?" He sniffles again.

I nod, smiling. "Really really."

He reaches up tiny fists to rub at his eyes. "Oh," he mumbles.

I can't help it. I laugh a little. Ko blushes, looking embarrassed.

"Guess what?" I say after a moment.

He looks up. "What?"

"Sometimes I get scared like that too," I confide.

His brown eyes widen. "Nuh-uh!" he says insistently, shaking his head.

"Yeah-huh!" I shoot back, nodding. "Because I care about all of you too. So I get scared sometimes that it will all go away."

I have never shared this with anyone before, although I think Jiji might already know anyway. Jiji knows everything. Still, I've never actually told him. It seems right, though, to share it with my little brother, Konohamaru.

"Really?" he whispers. I nod again.

"Really really."

He finally seems to believe me, because he gives me a great big smile and hugs me again.

"Don't worry, though," I say, feeling the love that Ko always manages to bring out in me. "I'm not going anywhere."

"… 'Kay." Ko breaks away from the hug, finally not crying.

"Now come on," I say standing up. "You can show me what you did today." Ko frowns up at me, looking confused. "I still have to do my daily training too, remember?" I remind him, smiling. "I have to master those running and balancing exercises before Shigeru-jii gets back from his mission. And since you're farther ahead than me, you can help me with them."

He starts and then beams proudly at this, grabbing my hand and pulling me down to the training rooms, babbling away to me like nothing ever happened.

Author's Notes: I can't remember the exact name of Sakura's childhood bully. I think it was Ami.

Not much action in this chapter. We do see Naruto lose her temper, though, which will start to happen more as she gains more confidence in herself.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Shigeru

Damn, but this girl's fast.

Physical strength is not her forte, but I don't think that's going to be a problem if no one can even keep up with her. It's rare to see a kid with this kind of natural talent for speed and reflexes. Usually you only see it in clan kids with generations of ninjas behind them.

Ko's different. He's a little heavier and steadier, like most in our family. He has good balance and he hits hard enough to make it count… Or rather, he will once he grows into his body. He'll probably be taught the Sarutobi style that Tou-san created. The potential's all there.

Naruto, on the other hand, flies all over the room like her own mini-hurricane. She'd probably be better for a more precision-based style, for darting quickly in and out of an opponent's guard, slipping through their defenses and hitting a weak point and dancing away again. Those kind of styles aim to slowly wear an opponent down instead of take them all out in one furious assault, though, so she's going to have to build up some pretty good endurance too.

But we're still not to that point yet. Right now they're starting to learn the basics of blocking and punching and kicking, just some basic taijutsu stuff. I probably won't start even Naruto on any official style until after she starts at the Academy. Still, it's good to look ahead. I have some notes on a couple of different things I'd like to try them out on archived in my study. I've discussed them with Tou-san a few times, and he agrees with me based on what he's seen of them. He's probably just going to let me make the call, what with how busy he usually is.

I've also started them on meditating before each session. That's been… interesting.

First I had to explain to Naruto that meditation does not constitute shutting away all your emotions – as she seems to be disturbingly good at doing – it means becoming in tune with your emotions and calming them down. As it turns out, neither of their emotions are very cooperative.

"Naruto, stop fidgeting… Ko, stop opening your eyes to peek at me when you think I can't see you; I'm not going anywhere… Naruto, stop giggling… Ko, stop poking her…"

Tou-san says they'll get it in the end. Apparently, I was just like that at their age… Well, I don't remember that!

Sometimes I think my Dad's just pointlessly optimistic.

Weapons practice has been going a bit better. Their aim's been getting pretty good lately. Naruto especially has very good aim with just a few pointers about where and how to throw. I'm thinking about starting her on multiple weapons and moving targets soon, and that kind of aptitude isn't normal in a kid her age either. It's actually pretty impressive.

They're also continuing with their balancing, stretching, and swimming. The most boring part of the regimen or no, it's good practice. Both can make it around the pool and back now, which should serve them well in the long run, anyway.

All in all, I really couldn't be happier. Aya definitely could be, but Tou-san's right. Formidable woman or not, Aya's a civilian. Sometimes I just don't think she gets it. If both of these kids really are planning on being shinobi, this extra leg up could be what they need to survive.

I don't want anything to happen to these kids… either of them.

I shake myself from my morbid thoughts. Since when did I become such a pessimist?

I turn back to where Ko and Naruto are practicing a sequence of side kicks and palm heels on the training dummies. They're supposed to be aiming for the sensitive or vital areas I've been pointing out to them, but in their exhaustion they're starting to miss wildly. They have been going at it for a while now – for little kids.

I chuckle to myself. "Alright, take a break! Get some water!"

"Hai!"

* * *

Naruto

I'll never forget the first day my etiquette class had to travel through the village for a lesson.

Cat was there following behind us, of course, so I knew nothing could really happen to me. But that wasn't as reassuring as it might have been. It wasn't as easy to remember as it should have been. Now I understand why Jiji and Shigeru-jii have always been so careful with me. Now I understand the real reason why Jiji has probably ordered Cat to accompany me.

We were continuing our unit on flower arrangement. As Ino and Sakura have explained it to me, Takara-sensei does each year by units. The next year, she repeats the same units in the same order so that the returning students (like them) get the benefit of an extra year of practice. Her first unit is always flower arrangement, every single year.

That particular day, we were going to a nearby flower shop to watch professionals arrange bouquets in the back of their store. I had never had any idea there were people who were actually paid to bunch flowers together, and I was rather excited to be able to meet some. It was midmorning, and we were walking through the business districts as a group, Cat always behind us. I was gazing around myself in silent awe of all the tall buildings and colors and people around me. It wasn't quite as overwhelming as it had been that first time, but it was still amazing.

During my inspection, however, I quickly noticed something else.

I felt a quiet prickle on the back of my neck and turned my head to see a man standing in the doorway of a hardware store. He looked to be around forty, and his clothes and stance marked him as a civilian, a distinction I was just beginning to recognize clearly. His grayish-brown eyes were pointed right at me. The look in them gave me a chill. They were hard and cold and relentless, like chips of ice. The silent accusation in them was clear. Monster, the eyes said. Monster.

I turned my head away and walked a bit closer to Ino and Sakura, who were strolling along a few feet ahead of me, talking to each other, obviously bored with their surroundings. But as much as I tried to pay attention to their chatter, I couldn't help but notice it. The cold stares as I walked by. The whispers as I passed. The way people carefully edged away from our group as we went by them. No one said anything. No one spoke a word out loud. In fact, the street was almost silent except for our group. But the lack of noise spoke for itself. In the busy center of Konoha, such silence couldn't be natural.

The weight of it was suffocating. It was strange… I'd never thought of silence as painful before.

In an automatic way that almost startled me, the numbness came back. I hadn't felt it wrap itself around me in a long time. But I hadn't really needed to protect my emotions like this for a long time.

On the entire trip to the flower shop, Takara-sensei swept ahead of the oblivious group, tense and thin-lipped. Cat was an almost tangible presence behind me as she moved closer to my back. Even Ino and Sakura became strangely quiet, as if they too could feel the stares directed at the girl walking beside them. And I felt nothing. The entire time, I felt nothing.

Only after we got to the sanctuary of the empty shop did the numbness relax. I could feel again, like I'd been holding my breath underwater for so long that it was a relief to break the surface and gulp up the sweet air. I was glad the numbness didn't seem so permanent anymore. I enjoyed feeling too much.

The trials of the day weren't over yet, however. The minute we were able to break free of Takara-sensei and the demonstrators (who never looked me in the eye; I couldn't tell if this was deliberate or not), Ino grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to a quiet alcove of the shop's back room. Sakura was right on her heels.

"What's going on?" she hissed at me. Behind her, Sakura's face was pale. "What was that in the street?"

I tried to feign innocence, suspecting it would be useless. "What was what in the street?"

"Don't give me that. You know what I mean." Ino was at her bossiest. I had begun to realize over the past couple of days of being her friend that this most likely meant she was at her most self-conscious or worried. "The adults won't stop giving you this…" she floundered for a good word, "… look," she finished lamely.

"My parents seemed worried when I told them I was hanging out with you," Sakura added, looking at me with something like shame. "I told them you were nice, but I'm not sure if they believed me."

For a long moment, I stared at them, frantically worried and not sure what to say. Was I about to lose my first two real friends? "You know I was adopted," I finally replied, my throat dry. "The Hokage adopted me. Before that, I was an orphan. I…" I couldn't tell them. I couldn't. "I think my parents might have done something, but I don't know. No one likes to talk about it."

I did always wonder about my parents… before I knew. It was the closest I could come to the truth.

"Are we… are we still friends?" I asked tentatively.

Ino stared at me for a long moment, but Sakura was the first to reply. "Yeah," she said, smiling at me in her quiet way. "Yeah, we are."

Ino finally relaxed and sighed. "Of course," she muttered, as if to herself. "Of course we are."

I almost let out a sigh of relief of my own. Safe… for now. If you could call this safe.

* * *

Cat brought me back home over the rooftops, avoiding anymore crowds. I thanked her for this in a tired voice. She seemed to glance down at me for a long moment, but didn't reply.

I was very quiet for the rest of the day. I couldn't seem to get the stares of the villagers and Sakura and Ino's pale faces out of my mind. I know I was distracted during my training. My aim, which I am so proud of, wasn't at all up to its normal standards. I hardly hit any vital points on the training dummies during taijutsu practice. Shigeru-jii seemed so worried, he let me stop early, something he never does.

When Jiji got home and we began our nightly lessons, I was listless, strangely unexcited at the prospect of learning knew things. Finally, he snapped the book we were going over shut. I jumped at the sudden noise.

He gave me a piercing stare. "What happened?" His tone expected an answer without demanding it, something only Jiji can do.

My first reaction was to deny everything, but I could tell Jiji about this. I could tell Jiji about almost anything. I winced and looked away. "We went through the village today during class," I muttered, ashamed that my unease had been so transparent. That wasn't what a shinobi was supposed to be like. Besides, I couldn't believe I'd been so focused on everything I didn't have that I'd forgotten to pay attention to what I did.

I expected Jiji to reprimand me, but he didn't. "Ah," he said instead, and then he sat back to light his pipe, which he always carries around in a pocket and often smokes during the evenings.

"Naruto," he finally said, and I looked up at the lack of suffix. That means he's about to say something important. "The only way those people will ever see you as more than what you hold is if you prove yourself to be more than what you hold. It is a heavy, unfair burden that has been placed upon your young shoulders, but it is yours and you must bear it. In order to prove yourself, you must seem above reproof. At the same time, you must not be too distant or they will think you emotionless, which is sometimes even worse." He smiled at my slightly overwhelmed expression. "I believe that as I look at you now, all you have to do is be yourself and you will win them over eventually. However," here his smile faded slightly, "you must act as if you have nothing to be ashamed of… which you don't, by the way. Just hold your head up high and keep being the better person and protect you village with all your might. I have faith that one day, things will change for you, and greatly for the better." He gave me a thoughtful look.

"The point of this rather long-winded explanation is to ignore the hostility. In time, I believe it will fade until one day, they will see you not as a monster, but as something great. You must hope and be a good person, so that you can show others how to be such. That, I think, is why you have been given this burden in life. That, I think, is what the Yondaime Hokage believed he was truly creating. A person of strength and hope."

As I stood up and bowed deeply before my grandfather, overcome to the point where I could not speak, I thought to myself that I would never forget this advice.

I was right.

* * *

Other than this brief rut in the road, etiquette classes go surprisingly smoothly. Jiji was right. If I just hold my head up high and lock my emotions away behind the numbness, it is easy not to notice the looks I get walking through the streets. I worry sometimes that I seem too distant, which Jiji has warned me against, but comfort myself that it is only when people look at me in that way that I act like this. That hardly counts. At least I am not retaliating in any way, right?

Aya eventually gives up on making me dress in huge, frilly dresses for my lessons when she's getting me ready for class one morning and realizes I'm wearing a set of normal clothes under the dress. I was planning on taking the dress off as soon as I had left the house. I am sheepish at this discovery, and she spends the rest of the day sighing and tutting like she does during my shinobi training, but I get to start wearing my shorts and jeans, shirts and tank tops to lessons afterward.

Sakura (whose skirts are never as fancy as mine) looks like a cross between relieved and disappointed at this. Ino (who wears a lot of pants and tank tops herself, and whose parents could probably buy her at least a couple of dresses like mine if they really wanted to) looks torn between disappointment and amused approval. Stuck-up, proper Takara-sensei gives my dirty, grass-stained pants frustrated glances whenever they are presented to her line of sight.

In the class itself, I never lose my penchant for the brightest flowers, but that is mostly because I don't want to. All through the unit, Takara-sensei never stops giving my eye-catching bouquets those odd looks, but she never tells me I'm doing anything wrong. I think she just can't find anything to criticize.

The unit following that is tea ceremony, however, which I can safely say I am glad I will never have to repeat. What is the point of tea ceremony? I mean, it looks nice and very impressive the first time you see it, but… it's so boring. You're either sitting there and watching someone pour tea, or you're sitting perfectly still as you move your arm in millimeters just so, so that you can pour someone tea. It's worse than meditation! The only time I ever want to put that much effort into moving just so is if I'm learning taijutsu.

Unfortunately, I think my lack of enthusiasm may be contributing to my lack of aptitude in the subject. I can pour someone tea. I can even tilt my arm at exactly the right angle as I pour, like Takara-sensei has taught us. Beyond that, I'm hopeless. Takara-sensei constantly snaps at me that I'm moving too fast or too imprecisely. I am very impatient, she tells me down her nose, a poor quality in a graceful and elegant woman. She usually singles me out in class as an example of what not to do, even though Sakura next to me is almost as bad at being slow and careful and graceful as I am. Whenever she singles me out, Ami and her "friends" start snickering loudly. Every time this happens, I lock my emotions away and hold my head high, as Jiji told me to. Privately though, I find it rather humiliating. My only consolation is Ino and Sakura's wincing sympathy.

* * *

The soil is soft and fresh and the plants are rough under my hands. The still air is permeated with a chill that is only starting to come to Konoha in December. The sky above is a soft, overcast gray. A bird cry sounds faintly from overhead. The peaceful quiet of home permeates the air.

I am not working on my bedroom trellis this time, but on the outside gardens with Sanken. I don't do this as often as I used to, but we were both free for a few hours this weekend and I felt the need to go out. He is quiet beside me as he works on a separate part of the plot, kneeling over his precious plants as he tries his best to protect them, even from nothing more than a brief, mild Fire Country winter.

Sanken is a quiet man. He seems most at peace around his gardens, which never say a word. I think part of the reason he is snappy sometimes is because he feels uncomfortable with conversation. This is why I never say much in my quality time with Sanken, except when we're talking about botany or he's explaining something to me. We have a quiet understanding. We don't need to really talk to each other.

To my surprise, however, today he starts a conversation. "You still getting crap from that silly etiquette lady of yours?" he asks gruffly.

I blink at him in surprise. How did he know about…? Aya or Ko or Shigeru-jii must have told him about it. Probably Ko. He's very indignant and outspoken about the way I've said Takara-sensei is, even though he doesn't really understand the whole situation. "Sort of," I admit after a moment. I hasten to add: "But nothing I can't handle."

Sanken gives a discernible grunt. "The classes always sounded like a stupid idea to me anyway," he mutters. "Like you need any help being pretty or graceful." I blush faintly at the casual comment. "And as for being a girl, you already are one! Aya's idea, of course." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Crazy woman. How she ever conned the boss into thinking it was a good idea, I'll never know."

"Well, I'm not so sure about that," I reply slowly. "The classes are a lot of fun outside of that. I like making friends."

There's a moment of silence. "Don't suppose you ever do see much outside us," Sanken finally admits.

I nod. "I like it here," I tell him, "but Sakura and Ino – my friends – they see people outside their home all the time. They go to public school, but I have to stay home schooled until I need to go to the Academy. Jiji wants to keep me as safe as possible for as long as possible." I feel gloomy at this. The matter of public schooling was the closest Jiji and I have ever come to an all-out fight. It doesn't help that Shigeru-jii took Jiji's side.

I know I should stay safe here. But it seems to me that I'm as safe as I'm going to be for a long time! And I want to spend more time with my friends. But they still said no. I have to stay home schooled.

"Well…" Sanken sounds almost awkward, "the harder you train, the safer you are. That's what I always hear, anyway."

I nod, brightening at the thought of my training. "I managed to get through my first basic kata complete from memory yesterday, without any help at all!" I am very proud of this. Shigeru-jii said nothing, just gave me his small, special smile at the accomplishment. I did it the day before he was scheduled to leave on another mission, and I think he might have been glad he was there to see it. Ko seemed torn between jealousy and giving me the biggest hug of my life.

Sanken merely nods. "Good," he says simply. "Now you've just got about five thousand more to learn before you get to graduate into the ranks." Compliments are not one of Sanken's specialities.

I sigh and roll my eyes, but I can't help the smile creeping onto my face. "Yeah," I say. "Just." Despite my sarcasm, somewhere deep inside the prospect is almost… exciting. I enjoy training. I don't want to stop anytime soon.

We are quiet again for a time as we turn back to our plants. "Anything else new?" Sanken finally asks. I am curious at this unusual bout of talkativeness, but I'm not sure Sanken would answer my questions even if I asked them. He tends to get like that with personal things, even around those he cares about.

"Umm… Jiji bought me some new books last week," I inform him. "They're mystery novels. I've already read the first one, and I really liked it. It was about…" And I just start talking. I don't really talk about anything in particular, just things about my day. I ramble on and on, and the more I talk, the more a tension I hadn't noticed before seems to drain from Sanken's shoulders.

* * *

Ino is introducing her friends to music.

She was absolutely horrified when she learned that Sakura and I didn't know any popular bands. Then she narrowed her eyes and accused us of reading too much. I countered that it wasn't possible to read too much, and Sakura giggled and agreed with me. Ino threw up her hands and said dramatically that we were hopeless, but she was valiantly going to try to save us anyway.

So now she brings her small, portable CD player and different CDs her older cousins have bought her to all of our lessons and demands that we listen to each one. Sakura's compliance to this is always somewhat exasperated and reluctant, but I find I love the music Ino listens to. She says it's mostly pop and alternative rock, and I pretend I have any idea what that means.

I am listening to one of her newer CDs today. She has warned me that it's her cousin's and she's just borrowing it, so I have to be extra careful with it or they'll never let her touch anything of theirs again. I find this rather extreme, and I ask Ino if everyone in her family is that possessive. "No," she says, rolling her eyes and scowling. "My cousins are just stupid."

So I am careful to put the CD player in my pocket where it can't slip and hit the ground. Sakura said she wasn't really interested in the music, so I have the headphones all to myself. I'm walking along behind the group to our next lesson (tea ceremony... ugh), ignoring the people around me, enjoying the breeze on my face. The music blasts in my ears, drowning out everything else, its rythym floating around in my head.

I glance around idly, not really expecting to see anything except my friends and perhaps more glares... and I stop short, stunned into stillness.

The orphanage. Right there to my left, standing just as shabby as it always was, is the orphanage from my childhood. I recognize it, remembering staring at it from Cat's arms so long ago.

For a moment, in front of my vision is the Room, the matron standing above me again. The music screams in my ears.

Then something touches my shoulder and I whirl around to see Cat standing there, her hand held above me as if she'd just moved it away. I stare up at her blank white mask. The mask stares back. Finally, Cat's black gloved hand points and I turn to see Sakura and Ino standing several feet up the sidewalk, looking at me quizzically. In front of them is the class, still continuing on up the street.

The Room is gone. The matron is gone. That is not me anymore. I realize that I am a very different person now. A happier one. I have gained the right to live.

Sakura smiles and waves to me. "Come on!" I see her mouth, though I can't hear her over the music.

I glance at the orphanage one more time before pointedly turning my back on it. I run away from the dark memories, to my friends.

* * *

Author's Notes: I made a minor change to the earlier chapters. It's nothing you really need to go back and read. I just changed the description of Sakura's hair color from "pink" into "strawberry blonde." A pet peeve of mine is that characters with unrealistic hair and eye colors bug me. I'm okay with them in anime and manga, but when it's in one of my own stories… I try to liken my characters as much to real life as possible, and even hair and eye color tie into that. It was annoying me, so I just gave in and changed it. Hinata's hair is not blue, it's a very deep black. Sakura's hair is not pink, it's a rich strawberry blonde. Characters with purple eyes will have either grey or hazel eyes, depending on my preference. Expect little things like that throughout my story. (Obviously, details like the Byakugan and Sharingan do not apply to this. They have a viable explanation that ties majorly into the story.)

One of my reviewers asked me a question when leaving a review. They had turned off the ability to have private messages sent to them, though, so I couldn't reply. I decided to just post the answer here since a couple of other people have asked this too. The question was, "Have you decided on pairings?"

I believe I've already addressed this in an earlier author's note, but I will reiterate: there will be no set pairing. There will, however, eventually be romantic relationships. Real (again with that word) people tend to go through at least one or two different relationships throughout their life before finding that person they want to spend the rest of their life with. Even that doesn't always work out in the end. Since I am, again, going for the realistic, something similar is going to happen in my story.

On a brief side note, my life is complete. I have reached over a hundred reviews and my story has been likened to pot. I am now doing my little happy dance.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The smell of cooking barbecue fills my nose as I gaze around Ino's backyard. Music plays in the background from a stereo system inside, set up just behind the open sliding door to the porch. Kids run around the yard in front of me, most of them with platinum blonde hair.

Ino's home is wonderful. It's a sprawling complex that (unlike most shinobi clan compounds) is laid right in the middle of the industrial part of the city. As far as clan compounds go, I suppose it's rather small. It holds only a modest front gate with a short walkway up to the main house in front. The main house is the largest building, a full three stories tall, and painted a cheerful yellow, courtesy of Ino's mother. Ino and her immediate family live in the main house. Slightly farther back from the front gate is a small cluster of other buildings where her more distant relatives live.

All the buildings in the compound are circled around a large, grassy courtyard, which they call their backyard. In it are a swimming pool and a trampoline, and Ino's father and uncles have even set up a barbecue here. A ways away from the barbecue is a long table set up with chips and other yummy snacks.

There is a back part to the property, behind the buildings, where the family training grounds are supposed to be. But it's fenced off and no one is allowed to go in there. Everyone's having so much fun in the main house and backyard, though, no one really cares.

Today is Ino's birthday.

Sakura and I are the only people here so far who are not members of the family. I was a little worried about what to expect from the Yamanakas at first, but Jiji and Shigeru-jii seemed nothing but pleased when I got the invitation from Ino, and even the adults are treating me nicely. Ino's older cousins are kind of annoying in the way they treat us like little kids, but they've been teaching us a lot of cool tricks on the trampoline, so they're not too bad. At least they're friendly to us.

I'm glad at least one of my friends' families seems to like me.

I smile easily as I go over to re-join Sakura in the pool. Ino was afraid it wouldn't be warm enough to for the pool - "Why is my birthday in the winter?! I want a nice, summer birthday!" - but she was lucky. Today is one of the few warmer days left in the year. I am wearing the bathing suit I usually use for training, a simple blue one-piece. My hair has been left long today, and it hangs dripping and dark down my back.

I chat with Sakura for a few minutes while Ino runs around behind us, ordering everyone around, in her element. The adults stand around in the background and talk. Sakura and I got here early, but finally, the other guests start to arrive. Most of them are girls Sakura and Ino know from public school, and I soon feel quite lost in their midst. Ino introduces me, the only one everyone doesn't already know.

I can practically feel myself being looked over, sized up. I will myself to feel confidence.

Everyone keeps their distance from me the first few minutes, but finally Sakura draws me into their chatter from where I'm standing awkwardly to the side. After that, I am regarded as an object of curiosity by most. They ask me much the same things Ino and Sakura did the first time they met me: What does your house look like? How many dresses do you have? How many servants? What's it like having dinner with nobles?

Much giggling is involved in general throughout the entire group.

Eventually, the talk turns to local gossip at their school, something I know nothing about. Maybe that's why it seems so... boring.

"Did you see that one weird girl, Kana, today? Ugh, she's always so sloppy. It's like she got dressed in the dark."

"She is weird, huh? She, like, never says anything."

"I know... hey, did you see Saka and Nobu holding hands today?"

"Holding hands? Really?!"

"Do you think they're going out...?"

I only have the vaguest idea of what going out is. And I don't really get why Saka and Nobu would want to be doing it, to be honest.

I am sitting around, trying to fit in, pretending to be interested, and alternating between the trampoline (which is amazing; I love it), the pool, and the snack table, for quite a while.

Finally, a loud, enthusiatic shout draws the group's attention. "Shikaku! Chouza! Late as ever, I see!" It is Ino's father's voice, but he doesn't sound upset. He sounds jolly as he walks over to talk to two men, one small and one huge, who are each holding the hand of a boy about our age.

"Who is that?" Sakura asks Ino in confusion.

Ino sighs and rolls her eyes. "My Dad's friends. He insisted on inviting them today. They each have this nasty little boy he wants me to be friends with."

I blink in curiosity as I turn back to look at the boys. They greatly resemble their fathers. One is large and plump and red-haired, with the same odd red markings on his cheeks as his father has. Perhaps they are his clan markings. The other is smaller, thinner, and paler, with sharp, pointed features and dark hair tied in a little ponytail at the back of his neck. Both look bored out of their minds.

I can sympathize with that.

Eventually, the other girls go back to their conversation, but for lack of anything better to do, I keep watching the boys. They eventually wander over to the snack table as their fathers continue talking to Ino's. They stand there apart from the rest, obviously not any more interested in talking to the girls than the girls are in talking to them. The skinny, dark-haired boy stretches out on the grass beside the snack table and the plump, red-haired boy sits next to him, munching happily on snacks.

Finally, when nothing seems about to change, I get out of the pool and walk over to the table, getting a handful of chips. I glance at the boys for a few moments before working up the courage to say, "Hi."

They both blink and turn to look at me. There is a moment of silence in which I wonder if I should have said anything. Finally, the red-haired boy gulps down a mouthful of food and says, just as quietly, "Hi."

The dark-haired boy is still staring at me. "You're talking to us," he says, like he can't believe it. "The boys. Us."

"Umm... yeah?" Should I not be talking to them for some reason? "I'm... kind of bored," I feel the need to explain.

The boy stares at me for a moment, and then his eyes widen. "Whoa," he says, sounding almost awed. "A girl who's not a bimbo. I didn't even know people like you existed."

I frown in confusion. "What's a bimbo?" the red-haired boy asks, and I am relieved. I thought that might be one of those things I should already know.

The boy shrugs lazily, closing his eyes and tilting his head back up to the sun, his moment of curiosity over. "It's what my Mom calls stupid girls," he replies casually.

"Hey!" I say indignantly. "Sakura and Ino aren't stupid!"

They turn back to stare at me again. Then the red-haired boy gets a thoughtful look on his face and says, "You know, she's right. Ino's pranks on us are too mean for her to be stupid."

The dark-haired boy blinks, and then snorts. "You're right," he agrees, his tone ironic at something I don't know about.

"... Pranks?" I ask uncertainly.

They oblige me with answers.

That is how I first become friends with Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji.

I learn that Ino has a definite malicious, mischievious streak to her that seems to come out around boys. I also learn that Shikamaru, the dark-haired boy, knows a lot of fancy words even I don't and says "troublesome" a lot, and that the red-haired boy, Chouji, is very nice, very self-conscious, and loves food more than anything else in the world.

I don't see why Ino and Sakura don't like boys. They're a lot more interesting to talk to than the girls.

Later, as Cat comes, with Aya in tow, to take me back home, Ino takes advantage of everyone staring at my ANBU guard and maid to pull me off to the side. "I'm sorry to have left you with Shikamaru and Chouji," she says confidentially, wrinkling her nose. "Was it awful?"

"Not at all," I reply honestly, grinning to myself at the memory of the crude jokes and stories they told, and the sarcasm of Shikamaru.

Ino raises her eyebrows in surprise.

* * *

"Someone needs to turn off their oven right now, before..."

BOOM! "Aaaagh!"

Takara-sensei sighs. "Before that happens," she finishes tiredly, rushing off to help the girls with the smoking oven. Two of Ami's friends. I can't help but feel a brief flash of satisfaction at that. Normally, I'd feel bad about enjoying someone's discomfort, but Ami and her friends still laugh at Ino and Sakura and I as they walk by, taunting us during every break. I've heard from Sakura and Ino that they're worse at school, where Ino says darkly that Ami has a bigger "power base."

Sakura is "Forehead Girl." Ino is sneeringly called "The Cool Kid." They've mockingly nicknamed me "Whiskers."

I know they're not going for that specific point on purpose, but... the whisker-shaped scars on my cheeks are a mark of my possession by the Kyuubi. It hurts to hear them make fun of that, although I just lift my head and stare them right in the eye whenever they start in on me. This usually gets them to back off, but it also has the side effect of an additional nickname: "My Lady." Ino and Sakura tell me I should take it as a compliment.

"They're practically admitting you're more..." Ino searched for the perfect word.

"Regal," Sakura supplied, smiling in a shark-like fashion rare on her sweet, shy little face.

"Exactly, regal, than they are."

I'm not so sure about that, but I do at least know not to take it badly. My Lady is a lot better than Whiskers.

We have finished with tea ceremony, thank goodness. As cold winds finally start blowing through Konoha in mid-December, we instead spend our afternoons in a Home Ec classroom on a civilian school campus, huddled around our ovens as Takara-sensei attempts to teach us the basics of cooking. "Attempts" being the key word. It's not going too well.

Some of it is fairly easy, of course. Measuring according to what's on the containers, mixing it all together in the stated order... but there's so much to do, and it all has to go perfectly for the meal to work out! Everyone always forgets to do something.

I don't feel so bad about my own failure to cook anything more than the simplest meals, though. When I announced what we were going to be doing at the dinner table a few days ago, Sanken muttered something I didn't understand about optimism concerning seven year olds, and Jiji and Shigeru-jii smirked at him from across the table. Aya said loudly that she was sure I'd do just fine, giving them one of her fiercest looks. That was when I understood.

I was disappointed at first that they seemed to have so little faith in me, but now, looking around, I can't help but wonder if they were just being accurate. Still... it would be nice to prove them wrong. Nice to show them I can do this.

I turn back to my own cooking.

This time, I will get the recipe right.

Practice, Takara-sensei and Shigeru-jii always say. It's all about the effort you put into it.

* * *

"I hate these events," Shigeru-jii mutters as he fiddles with his kimono in the entrance hall.

"You don't like New Years, Shigeru-jii?" I ask wonderingly. I love New Years. I didn't used to, of course. It was always freezing cold, and the matron would sometimes come into my Room, drunk, and then... bad things would happen. But now that I'm away from her and I can actually experience it, I really like New Years. The celebrations and the time with my family, it's all very precious to me.

"Nah, that's not it," he says, shaking his head. "It's these business functions your grandfather and I have to go to on big holidays like this, full of fussy nobles and dignitaries and government people and Council members who are just trying to seem posh and really couldn't tell their heads from their asses."

I giggle at his language. Jiji and Shigeru-jii are going to a "party" (Jiji used finger-quotes at the word, so I wonder if it's really going to be a party) at the local Council chambers to celebrate New Years Eve tonight, and most every important person in Konoha is going to be there. Ino and Shikamaru and Chouji's fathers will be, as ruling clan heads. So will Ami's father as an influential merchant, although I don't exactly like thinking that Ami might be half as important as she says she is.

Jiji says they will only be there a couple of hours, and then they'll get out early and come to really celebrate with me and Ko and Aya and Sanken. He seemed almost like he was trying to reassure me when he told me this during one of our nightly lessons, but I'm actually not that worried. I was frantic last year, telling myself over and over that they wouldn't come back, but this year I know the routine. I still have doubts occasionally, but deep down I know that Shigeru-jii and Jiji will always come back. They care about me.

Jiji comes into the entrance hall in his own kimono with Ko on his heels, chattering excitedly about how he couldn't wait for the fireworks later tonight and would Jiji please bring him back some snacks from the party? Jiji laughs. "I'll do my best," he promises. Then he and Jii take turns hugging us goodbye and leave through the front doors.

Neither one looks very enthusiastic. If all parties involving business or the nobility are like the dinners they hold over here sometimes, I can't blame them.

Ko and I sit around the parlor. The parlor isn't open to us very often, but it is on New Years, with the window curtain thrown open to reveal the moon above and the light covering of snowy white frost on the ground below. The fire crackles merrily in the hearth, throwing friendly shadows on the walls.

Aya sits with us and helps us make more of the paper cut out decorations that we've already decorated the first floor with, showing us where to cut by the light of the fire. A bowl of peanuts and chocolates sits on the glass table next to us. Sanken mostly sits in the corner, drinking, at first, but the smell of alcohol starts to bother my nose more and more. I've always disliked its strong stench.

Finally, Aya notices me glancing at him and snaps, "Oh, for Heaven's sake, come over here and help us!" at Sanken.

Sanken opens his mouth to argue, but Ko and I interrupt to join forces and plead with him to help, our eyes wide and puppy-dog-like. He eventually gives in, grumbling and making a great show of acting displeased when he's really not and we can all tell. Ko and I grin as Aya rolls her eyes and says, "Yes, yes, your life's horrid, now celebrate New Years Eve with your family like a reasonable man, even if you really aren't one."

By the time Jiji and Shigeru-jii get back home, the parlor is full of paper cut out decorations. They act suitably impressed.

Over dinner, the two of them entertain us with descriptions of the sheer ridiculousness of the event and all of its eccentric guests. There were the quiet, veiled barbs of one of the Council Elders, the one-armed old warhawk named Danzo, who looked like someone had threatened to forcefeed him arsenic to make him come. Then there was the pompous, big-headed, richly dressed merchants, and the pompous, big-headed, richly dressed Hyuuga Clan representatives, who looked down their noses at the civilian merchants for being pompous, big-headed, and richly dressed, like them. Perhaps the funniest are stories of the female head of the wild Inuzuka Clan, Tsume, who proceeded to get drunk, insult people at random, and flirt shamelessly with every man in the room.

I've changed my mind. Big gala events sound like fun. Maybe it's just the private dinner parties that are boring.

After dinner, the greatest part comes. Shigeru-jii throws Ko over his shoulders, and Jiji puts me over his, and we leave the mansion grounds. A festival has been held down at the village tonight for New Years Eve, and at the end of the evening is a fireworks display. Shigeru-jii and Jiji are taking us to a tree right at the edge of the forest. This tree is so high up, we will be able to see the fireworks all the way in the city.

Sanken and Aya head out toward the edge of the forest on foot, but Jiji and Jii take us speeding through the treetops, the shinobi way. As I hear Ko shouting in excitement next to me, and the wind blows into my face, whipping my long golden hair back and making my heart give a leap, I can't help but reflect on the festival itself.

Last year I didn't question such things, simply finding it wonderful that I could even see the fireworks. This year, however, I can't help but wonder... of course, the fireworks are lovely, and I enjoy getting to see them, but...

I remember Ino and Sakura talking about it just a couple of days ago. They were talking about what they were going to wear to the New Years Festival on the way home from another cooking class, and I was just sort of walking beside them, listening. Then suddenly, Ino turned to me and said, "What about you, Naruto? What are you wearing?"

I started, and then turned to them and had to say awkwardly, "Umm... I don't think I'm going."

"What?!" Ino and Sakura were aghast. "But it's one of the best festivals of the year!"

"I don't really go to things like that much," I explained. "Jiji thinks it's too dangerous."

"Too dangerous?" Ino echoed incredulously.

"My grandfather's a little overprotective sometimes. I already told you that," I reminded them.

"My parents are overprotective," Sakura objected. "Your family might be a little crazy."

"Well, they're just trying to make sure I'm not hurt," I said defensively. "They care about me."

But Ino and Sakura insisted that I just had to ask my grandfather and uncle to let me go, so when I got home, I asked them if I could go to the festival with my friends. They said no, of course.

"We're sorry," Shigeru-jii added upon seeing my expression. "We know how unfair it is that you don't get to do so many things normal kids do. But, well..." He trailed off, uncharacteristcally unsure of what to say.

"But you're not normal, Naruto-chan," Jiji finished softly, looking me in the eye as if to say, 'and you already knew that.'

And I did. I know they're just trying to protect me. But... when will it finally be safe enough to let me go out all the time like a normal person? When will I finally be able to go out there and start proving myself, even if there might be consequences?

I push back my frustration as the treetops start to thin, and flashes of starry sky begin to appear between the leaves above. I am going to see the festival fireworks with my family. I am flying through the trees like a bird. I should be grateful for that. It was not so long ago when I could not do these things.

I smile and burrow further into my thick, icy blue coat and warm, bright orange mittens as we can finally see flat, open ground ahead. Jiji and Shigeru-jii take one great leap, and my shout of excitement joins Ko's as we go flying high, right up to the top of the tall tree. Abruptly, the whole of Konoha is laid out below us, and I feel the same rush of protective joy that first made me want to be a shinobi at the view that I see.

The light covering of frost, so rare for the Fire Country, is laid out over the entirety of the fields, training grounds, and clan compounds. The grass is silvery, the ponds are crusted with ice, the flowers are frozen over. Among them are brilliant flashes of dark evergreen trees, and paper lanterns hang from some of the buildings, which have light coverings of frost coating their roofs as well. Further on, in the city, the whole place is brightly illuminated with tiny dots of color that are paper lanterns and open shops and lit windows. I can see tents and booths set up all along the streets, and happy, shouting people strolling along and running between them. Some are shinobi, some civilians. All mingle together peacefully, so it is hard to tell the difference. Distant strains of music float through the air from stages for entertainment set up here and there on the bigger streets.

"Wow," Ko breathes next to me, brown eyes wide. I nod silently in agreement.

Shigeru-jii smiles down at us, amused at our awe, but Jiji is watching it all too. "It is amazing, is it not?" he says softly after a moment. "Some of the greatest Konoha shinobi I have ever known became shinobi just for this. So they could protect just this."

"You too, Jiji?" Ko's high, childish voice pipes up after a moment.

He starts, as if broken from some sort of trance, and looks over at the three of us. He smiles gently, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yes," he says, "Me too. The effect such love can have on a person is awe-inspiring."

I look back to the beautiful scenery and the happy people. "Yes," I have to agree after a moment, feeling warmth in my chest. "It is."

"Yeah, it's real amazing!" someone shouts below us. "Can we see it?"

The four of us start and look down to see Sanken and Aya standing below us, shivering. Sanken was the one who shouted. He's glaring up at us.

"No!" Ko shouts, grinning, before any of us can respond. "You're stuck down there!"

Jiji gives a deep, rich laugh, and he and Jii go down to help them up on the branch next to us. Ko and I grab each other's hands and carefully scoot over to the side so there's room. Jiji and Shigeru-jii perch on either side of us, and we wait, huddling against each other in the cold, for the fireworks to begin.

We don't have to wait very long. Soon, a long stream of light shoots up into the sky and bursts into a huge, colorful firework. "There it is; it's starting!" I shout excitedly, and Ko cranes forward as if it will help him see better, nearly losing his balance and falling. Shigeru-jii has to pull him back, smiling exasperatedly and shaking his head.

The fireworks are beautiful, like bright, colorful stars exploding in the sky, and for a while, I don't think about anything. I don't worry about anything. I don't remember anything.

There's just the beauty of a new year.

Later on, as I am climbing into bed, flannel pajamas on, bedroom door open behind me, quilt thrown over myself, I glance over to my window to see the wide, full moon shining out of it amid the stars. Around the view of the moon, on my trellis, the first few tiny white buds of nightflowers bloom into soft, glowing petals.

I smile.

* * *

"Alright, that's enough!" Shigeru-jii's voice echoes distantly across the long training chamber. "Fifty more palm-kick combos, and then one more set of single kunai and shuriken, and we'll call it a day."

Ko and I turn to each other in the pool and grin as one.

"Race you - "

"There!"

We take off from the pool and shoot across to the other end of the training rooms. I'm careful not to run too much faster than Ko, even though I know I could do it if I wanted to. But that would take all the fun out of it for him. Besides, I like watching his face screw up with effort and determination as he tries to keep up with me.

We make it to the training dummies at the exact same time. "Made it!" Ko immediately shouts.

"Did not, I totally got here first!" I protest, sticking my chin up and grinning wider, filled with exhileration. I love the long training days.

Ko opens his mouth to argue back, but Shigeru-jii interrupts him. "You toed the line at the same time and you both know it." He sounds exasperated. "Now get back to work!"

We leap back into our taijutsu combos. I go through each as fast as I can, hearing Ko panting beside me, feeling the strain as I push myself harder and harder. The flashes of white that I'm supposed to aim for flash in front of my vision as I swing by them. Shigeru-jii was especially specific to me to watch out for them. Later, he told me in private that, "It's not just because you're older; the style I'm planning on having you learn is very centered around flashing in through an opponent's guard, hitting sensitive points, and flashing back out again. You're going to have to be fast, and you're going to have to know exactly where to hit. You're going to have to have speed and accuracy, and you're going to have know your anatomy very well... Good God, I sound like my father," he muttered, as if in realization, and he ended up walking away shaking his head.

I was left breathless, though, caught on a certain thing he'd said. "The style I'm planning on having you learn..." My style. My own taijutsu style. I have practiced very hard at those specific things ever since. Jiji's even given me a couple of books on anatomy. They're extraordinarily boring, but relatively easy to learn. They're just diagrams mostly, and Jiji says I seem to remember pictures easier than simply words.

I finish the sets of fifty quickly enough, and do a few more for good measure before continuing on to the targets, which the kunai and shuriken are waiting next to in a neat pile. I palm a couple, run back to just a little farther than I was able to throw accurately last time, and aim.

Shigeru-jii has told me I don't have to throw from all possible angles every time, and I don't have to increase my length every time either. At least for now, I don't have to be that extreme. But what good is training if you're not improving yourself?

So I am flying all around the target, testing myself in different ways, trying to find something I'm not very good at yet so I can work on it. I enjoy long-distance weaponry. I have asked Shigeru-jii about it, and he has promised to pick me up some senbon the next time he goes into town. "You're not quite ready for the level of intense accuracy," he said, and then he smiled proudly. "But you're getting there. It's always good to think ahead, right?"

Think ahead. Look ahead. Aim.

And then there's the satisfying "snap!" Right on target.

* * *

Takara-sensei is yelling at someone again. I think the stress of teaching this is starting to get to her. Her picture perfect appearance is coming a bit undone. Despite how she still usually acts toward me, I can't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her.

I ignore it, however, and turn back to my little cooking area. We're not working in pairs anymore (I'm not sure why Sensei mandated this; having more stations going at once just adds to her frustration). Now that I am working individually, I have noticed a definite improvement in my cooking. Even one of Ami's friends grudgingly pronounced something I made "edible" yesterday, and I consider that my greatest accomplishment.

Aya was right. I can do this once I set my mind to it.

I turn up the music on the little CD player I'm borrowing from Ino again and get back to work. There is, I reflect, a certain satisfaction in making something that is wholly your own from scratch. It is similar to the feeling I get when I garden.

I feel like I'm really starting to get the hang of this whole "being a real person" thing.

* * *

I sit on the matting, cross-legged, eyes closed. In front of my eyes is nothing but blackness. I can hear Ko breathing evenly next to me. I can hear Shigeru-jii pacing up and down in front of us. I tell myself not to concentrate on those things and to instead find the calm center within me.

I focus internally. I can feel the matting growing hard under my bottom. My nose twitches. My leg itches. Stop. Focus. Concentrate.

Meditating is made harder by the fact that my first reaction in calming myself down is to push all of my emotions away and feel nothing. To become in tune with your own self, with its flow... that's hard for me. Particularly because my body's flow seems to always be telling me to move around more. It's just so... frustrating!

Stop. Focus. Concentrate.

I frown, trying to push all those thoughts away, but the harder I try, the more unruly they seem to get. Stop. Focus. Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate...!

"Alright, that's enough." I sigh as my eyes pop open and the outer world comes back into focus.

I'll get it... eventually.

"Ko, begin your laps around the chamber," Shigeru-jii says evenly. "I have something I need to talk about with Naruto."

Ko frowns at this, but starts around the chamber without another word, glancing back between the two of us. Shigeru-jii walks up to me as I get to my feet, curious. He reaches into his pocket and hands me a package. The glint of steel catches my eyes, and I realize what it is. Senbon.

I look back up to him, beaming, and he smiles. "Hey, I promised, didn't I?" he says, echoing the first time he got me kunai and shuriken. He hands me the package. I tuck it safely into my pocket.

"Thanks," I say softly, touched.

"Eh," he says eloquently, shrugging. "You're a good kid, Naruto-chan, and you work your ass off. You deserve it."

I positively glow at the compliment.

"Now," he continues, turning more serious and kneeling down to look me in the eye. I am still very small for my age. According to Jiji, because of the matron, I always will be. "Today, I'd like to try something a little different with you. I've suspected something for a while, and so has your grandfather. We'd like it if you tested out our theory."

"Okay," I say slowly, slightly confused.

"Close your eyes," he instructs. I close my eyes obediently. Slowly, a scent wafts up to my nose.

"What does this smell like?" Shigeru-jii's voice asks.

I hesitate. "Naruto?" he asks again.

"It'll sound weird," I hedge.

"That's okay." His voice is calm, even.

"It smells like Ko," I confess. "And clothing. Ko's clothing. I can't tell exactly what it is."

"Okay," he repeats, still calm and even, and he holds up something else and asks me to tell him what it is. I do this over and over, not sure what he's trying to prove.

Finally, there's a pause so long that I peak through my eyelids at him. He's staring off into space, dark eyes lost in thought. Finally, he mutters to himself, "I knew it."

"Knew what?" I ask, and Shigeru-jii seems to snap out of his trance. He looks down at me.

Instead of answering, he says, "What's Aya doing in the kitchen right now?"

I strain my ears to hear, listening carefully for a few moments. Eventually, from a certain part of the kitchen comes a clang. "She's putting a pot on the stove," I tell him matter-of-factly. "We must be having soup for dinner tonight."

He stares at me for a long moment, and then asks slightly incredulously, "You really don't realize it, do you?"

"Realize what?" I reply, tilting my head in confusion.

"That normal people can't smell and hear nearly that well, Naruto-chan," he says, almost urgently. "Some animals have senses like that, but humans don't."

"Oh." I am surprised. I honestly had never considered such a thing before. "... Is it because of Kyuubi?"

"Probably," Shigeru-jii confirms, nodding. "We believe that you have a watered down version of a fox's senses. You can't smell or hear quite as well as them, but still better than the average human. Normal people, for instance, wouldn't be able to tell that this," he holds up the sock for emphasis, "belongs to Ko purely by smell. Especially not after it had been washed."

He gives me a moment to digest this, then continues, "You also have unusually high healing abilities. Your cuts heal in a matter of hours, right?"

I nod. I had at least noticed this. "And Ko's sometimes take days to fully heal," I finish.

"Exactly. And Ko gets calluses on his hands, and your skin just stops being affected by holding the kunai after a certain period of time. 'Supernatural regenerative capabilities' is the technical term for this. And the more you get hurt, the faster the healing will start to take effect. That's the theory, at least." He smiles slightly. "Only the Yondaime would be able to tell us fully the extent of your abilities and the benefits of the seal, and he's not exactly around to give us a step-by-step rundown."

I nod silently. "So," I say after a moment, "what does all this mean for me?"

Shigeru-jii looks over at me. "It means what we already knew," he replies simply. "That you are going to be a very powerful shinobi one day."

I blink up at him, startled by the certainty in the statement. I certainly don't feel very powerful right now.

"Someday..." he says distantly, as if reading my mind. There is a moment of solemn quiet.

Why are all these people around me so sure I will grow up to be amazing? I am not at all sure of it myself.

Finally, Shigeru-jii looks back down at me. "I'm going to be away on another mission by tomorrow," he says out of the blue. "It'll most likely be a long one. So, while I'm gone, I want you to work on your aim to the point where you might be able to start working a bit with senbon, and I want you to try to train your senses to become sharper, more able to pick up on the things around you. Got that?"

I nod, used to his abruptness in announcing his missions by now. "Hai!" I bark, determined to really do well while he's gone.

He smiles. "Good," he says quietly. "Very good."

* * *

Author's Notes: So, we finally meet Shikamaru and Chouji in this chapter. I have tried to do their characters justice. I know some people who have been looking forward to this. Also, I have no idea when Ino's birthday is, or even if it's been stated at all. Again, if it happens to contradict previously stated facts, my story.

And (because I just know this issue is going to come up) when the girls at Ino's party were talking about the boy and girl holding hands? I don't consider that unrealistic to their ages. These days, you hear that sort of thing from ten year olds all the time. They don't mean anything by it. They just want to sound cool and grown up. I doubt Saka or Nobu even have the faintest romantic interest in anyone yet. Besides, I can more see younger kids talking about that sort of thing in the Naruto world, considering the legal age for adulthood, marriage, drinking, and all that shit seems to be fifteen.

As always, an comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	11. Chapter 10

_Chapter Ten_

I am helping Aya cook dinner.

I have been asking to do this lately, so much have I found myself enjoying cooking. Aya is so pleased that I've finally found something "normal and lady-like" that I enjoy, she lets me help whenever I ask.

My day has been very busy. I went to my lessons with Sakura and Ino and Ami and Takara-sensei, then was brought home by Cat and tended to the ivy and flowers on my bedroom trellis, then spent an hour in my room meditating and extending my senses (I have found that doing my sensory training at the same time as my meditation actually improves my concentration), then spent two more hours training in the underground chamber with Ko.

With Shigeru-jii not there, we just race each other through all our usual exercises and taijutsu moves and aiming drills. He promised to start teaching us the basics of chakra training after he got back from his mission. We are both very excited, although Ko is grumpy over the fact that he's not old enough to start actually working with his chakra yet. He has to wait for his chakra coils to develop further.

Now Aya and I are making dinner. Ko is lounging around at the kitchen table, watching us idly from underneath his long, scruffy brown bangs, chattering amicably to fill the quiet. Jiji will be home from work soon, and Sanken will come in for dinner too if lured properly... in other words, by food and company and my brother and I. Shigeru-jii isn't here, but he should be soon. It's been a few days since he left. He'll be tired and weary at first, with dark circles under his eyes, as he always is after the long, high-class missions. But then he'll have a rest and some of Aya's food, and he'll sit with us in the kitchen or in Ko's playroom or in his study, and we'll talk about what's been happening while he was gone. Slowly, he'll start to relax, and the darkness will leave his eyes. That's the way it always works.

For a long time, I smile and talk with Ko, Aya idly throwing in bits here and there. I am comfortable in my world. I am at peace. This is my place. These are my experiences. This is my life.

Then everyone grows quiet as the front door creaks open. Jiji and Sanken always knock and wait to be let in. It can't be them. An intruder...? Jiji and Jii always say no one could ever make it through the Sarutobi Mansion's defenses absolutely undetected, but...

I tense up. I am suddenly very nervous and unsure of my abilities, but I try not to let that show on the outside. Jii always says that in a fight, fear is one thing you never show, even if you feel it. Never let fear dominate, Jiji tells me. So instead, I let myself go numb. Strange. I have never thought of that ability as an asset before.

Ko is frozen in his chair. Aya has gone still and carefully blank-faced. Footsteps fall toward the kitchen door. We stare at the door, waiting...

Suddenly, I realize the footsteps sound a lot like Jiji's. I restrain myself from shouting out at this, straining my ears to make sure...

Yes, soft and steady, just like Jiji's feet. The same rhythm, the same weight hitting the floor...

Then the door swings open and there he is. But he doesn't look anything like Jiji normally does. His shoulders are slumped. His face is lined and tired. His eyes are red and bloodshot.

Jiji is usually so confident and assured, I have never thought of him as old before. The thought stuns me and fills me with a deep sense of foreboding.

He walks slowly over to the kitchen table and lowers himself into it, silent. He makes no apology for startling us. He gives no explanation for his strange behavior. For a long time, he just sits there. We watch him, strangely even more tense than we were when we thought he was an intruder.

What could make a powerful man like Jiji look so... broken?

I don't have to wait long to find out.

"... Hiruzen-sama," Aya finally says, her voice uncommonly soft, "what's wrong?"

Jiji lets out a long, tired sigh, breaking his silence. When he speaks, the words sound forced, pained.

"Shigeru is dead."

For the second time in my life, my world shatters.

* * *

The following days are filled with confusion.

Jiji is much quieter than usual, even though he's home more often. He mostly stays shut up in his library, only coming out to direct the workers trooping through the mansion about where to pack and where to clean. Sometimes he comes out to greet visitors, if they're especially important, but mostly he just lets them leave their condolence gifts in the entrance hall and go. The civilian workers who are handling Shigeru-jii's things are the only ones who always command his full attention.

Shigeru's things must all be put away in storage somewhere out of the village. The whole mansion must be cleaned and scrubbed down. Preparations must be made for a funeral. There won't be any body, but a grave will be put up in a private cemetery anyway.

He was on an A-class mission. He took a hit for a comrade. It was a Katon jutsu, a powerful one. There was nothing left afterward.

Jiji explained it to me. "I am sorry you have to experience this, Naruto," he said tiredly. He always sounds tired now. "But glad as well, in a way. This is a part of shinobi life. Every shinobi goes out on every mission knowing it could kill them. You know the risks, and so does the enemy. Shigeru knew the risks, and he took them. And he took them for a friend. I am... prouder of him than I can say."

It is the most I have heard him speak at any one time since the news came.

I consider his words as I watch the men in worn civilian clothes troop up and down the stairs, carrying Jii's things to the wagon that will take them out of Konoha. They seem uncomfortable at my presence, and even moreso at my blank stare. None will meet my eye. Normally, I would have to force myself not to care about this.

Now, I am already numb.

I should be crying all the time, like Aya is. I should be grim and silent, like Sanken is. I should be tired, like Jiji is. I should be angry and defensive, asking everyone what's going on and when Shigeru's coming back, like Ko is.

I should not be numb. I should feel something.

But... it just... doesn't seem real to me. I understand what is going on, unlike Ko, but I am just as confused as he is.

I keep waiting for Shigeru-jii to come back. I keep waiting for him to show me how to throw my senbon and summon my chakra. I keep waiting to show him how hard I've been training while he was gone and how good at cooking I'm becoming. I keep walking into his study and expecting his things to still be there, meticulously neat as always. I keep waiting to hear one of his little sarcastic comments from the kitchen, or a distant shout of complaint as Aya slaps him over the back of the head for cursing in the house again. I walk into my room and I can't help but remember the day he helped me paint it, his warm hands helping my tiny ones hold the brush. I can't help but remember his small, special smile and the strength in his eyes when he talks of shinobi and the way there doesn't always need to be any words between us for there to be understanding.

How can someone like that just be... gone?

For the first time in almost two years, I am that naked little creature sitting in her Room, watching the outside world from a hole in her wall.

I am nothing, waiting for something to come along and change me.

* * *

Sakura and Ino come eventually, knocking softly on my bedroom door and walking in and hugging me and crying like I still can't bring myself to.

I couldn't say how long it took them to come. Time seems to matter less around the mansion now. It slips away in the silence.

They tell me how sorry they are and they ask me how I'm doing. I don't know how to answer them. I don't even know what to feel anymore.

I'm still waiting for Shigeru-jii to come home.

When they don't get any response, they eventually leave, glancing back at my blank face in worry the entire way.

Lethargic, I wander down the stairs until I find myself in front of Ko's playroom. He has shut himself in his place now that he's realized that no one can answer his questions, much like Shigeru-jii sometimes does.

_Used to do._

I shy away from the thought. Something about it frightens me.

Instead, I walk in to see Ko sitting there in the middle of his carpet, arms curled around his bent knees, glaring at a far wall. Silent, I sit down beside him, and he leans over and buries his face in my arm without a word.

At the warmth, I realize how much I needed his presence. Perhaps I actually meant to come down here after all.

"He's not coming back," Ko whispers into my sleeve, as if for confirmation.

Somehow, I find my lost voice. "No," I answer hoarsely.

Ko starts, as though stunned that someone finally answered his most important question. Then, a few moments later, his shoulders begin to shake and my sleeve becomes wet with silent tears.

I let him cry for both of us.

* * *

Aya comes to me in my bedroom one afternoon.

By that time, Shigeru-jii still isn't home.

I am tending to my plants. I have been doing this more often lately. It is soothing, and it's something to focus on that doesn't have anything to do with death. Rather, it is the birth of new life.

Aya stands in the doorway and watches me for a long time. She understand what I'm doing, I think. She has been cleaning harder than ever lately. I think that's how she reminds herself that she's still here. We've all done something like that in the past few days.

Aya cleans. Ko trains like mad in the underground chamber. Jiji reads. Sanken and I garden.

Finally, I turn to her. "Yes?" I say softly. Everyone speaks softly here, even the dignified noble visitors offering their sorrow to the elite Third Hokage for his loss, and the civilian washers and workers who have been trooping in and out constantly. It's as if the quiet is so heavy, no one feels strong enough to break it.

Aya takes a shuddering breath and looks away suddenly. She's been doing that a lot lately too.

"Your ettiquette teacher is holding a special lesson tomorrow in your honor. She will be going over kimono wearing... funeral kimono, in particular, will be covered. Your grandfather would like you to attend."

_Funeral. _That's all anyone ever says anymore. I'm getting sick of the word.

Burning emotion boils up within me for a moment, and then the numbness, ever-vigilant, squashes it back down.

I look away too. "Okay," I say simply.

There is a long silence, and then I hear Aya's footsteps fading away down the hall.

* * *

_Cat_

She looks just like she did when I first met her, and that can't be a good sign.

It's particularly eerie to see because I forgot what Naruto looks like with no emotion, no strength to her. Normally, Naruto's face is animated and vivid with life. Her eyes dart around, shining, taking in everything at once (they never lost that tendency). Even when she walks, she does it with a sort of repressed energy and enthusiasm, and a bit of a natural grace. To see her blank-faced and hollow-eyed again... it's disturbing.

But not entirely unexpected.

She's holding out better than some. I wasn't close to Sarutobi Shigeru, but I know that everyone in the village has been affected by the death of the Sandaime's son in some way. Especially because it was so... sudden.

Now that they know many of the details about the last year of her life, some in the village are whispering that it's Naruto's fault, for making him go on leave all that time. That's ridiculous, of course. Sarutobi Shigeru went on leave months before Naruto came along, and anyway, any shinobi who lets a small term of leave weaken them that severely is not truly a competent shinobi.

I hold out my back to Naruto in the early morning sunlight as she shuffles out of the mansion. "Ready?" I ask, something I don't normally do. But, well... she doesn't _seem _ready. Did she really have a choice about going to this lesson this morning?

She just climbs onto my back without a word.

As we take to the trees leading out of the forest, I feel her curl further into herself at my back. Her usual chatter and questions and excitement are not present. For a long time, there's silence. I don't think I've _heard_ her this quiet since the first day we met, either.

"... Cat?" she finally inquires.

"Yes?"

"You're coming to the funeral, right?" The question startles me. Why would she want her bodyguard at her uncle's funeral? Unless...

"You do realize I would only be allowed to come as a person, and not as a masked ANBU," I reply uncertainly. "It's a matter of honor."

Naruto seems to digest this for a moment. "So," she finally presses, "are you coming?"

Unless... she doesn't want her bodyguard to come. She wants _me_ to come.

I probably shouldn't. It's a matter of routine for bodyguard ANBU to never show their faces to their clients, no matter what. That way, if they die protecting their client, the client doesn't take it as badly. A person didn't die to save their life. An ANBU died doing their duty.

I really shouldn't let her get to know me. But... I pause on a branch to look back at her wide blue eyes, which are unusually reserved. Underneath that, however, I can see a glimmer of touching hope. "I'll be there," I find myself promising, against my better judgment.

A flicker of something like happiness passes across her face. "Thanks, Cat," she says sincerely.

I feel good about myself.

I'm getting too damn soft for this girl.

* * *

_Naruto_

The Kabaji Theater is Konoha's only theater. As if to make up for this, its sheer size takes up almost an entire street. The first time I ever walked past it, I stopped and stared in awe because I thought it was a golden palace.

Here, I am going to be learning kimono wearing.

Cat takes me up to the backstage entrance, where a stiff-backed, proper-looking elderly woman with her hair in a sharp black bun is sitting outside the backdoor, probably to keep just anyone from walking in on the lesson. I eye her own perfectly worn blue kimono as Cat puts me down in front of her.

The woman, who I assume must be the Kabaji's owner, looks me in the eye, and not with disgust or judging. I am startled by this for a moment, and then I realize that she is silently nodding us in. Still thrown off balance, I walk obediently inside, Cat right behind me.

Backstage is a wide open space, with whole rooms full of changing areas and hooks for clothing and full-length mirrors leading off of it. The dark curtain is long and intimidating and heavy a ways in front of us, with small spaces to lead onto the stage on either side of it, and above us is a tall ceiling full of levels upon levels of strange wooden rafters and scaffolds and pulleys.

Milling about in the wide open space in the middle of the backstage is my class. We must be trying on the kimono here in the changing rooms.

"Naruto!" I turn to see Sakura and Ino running toward me from the crowd. They stop in front of me, faces anxious.

"We didn't know if you'd make it," Ino explains, looking me up and down scrutinizingly.

The trip outside the mansion and Cat's promise have given me strength I wasn't expecting. I force my face up into a smile. "I came," I say quietly. "There's still the funeral, after all."

Saying the word leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It still just doesn't sound right.

"I guess so," Sakura says hesitantly, eyeing me as well. I turn away from their scrutiny.

"So," I say, still attempting to sound cheerful, "what's been going on while I've been away?"

"Ugh, Ami's been awful all week," Ino replies, rolling her eyes, instantly warming to the subject. But to my surprise, Sakura is nodding along with her fervently, looking unusually fierce... especially when it comes to her fear of Ami's bullying. "Don't get anywhere near her, she..."

But before she can say anymore, Takara-sensei calls out to the group, "Alright, it's time to start! Everyone over here!"

The girls all gravitate around Takara-sensei, some sitting, others bouncing around impatiently. I stand quietly in the background and, after a moment's hesitation, Sakura and Ino come to stand beside me.

"Some dancers of the Kabaji Theater are waiting onstage behind that curtain," Takara-sensei says loudly over all the talk, and everyone quiets down to listen. "They will go through kimono with you, step by step, using themselves as examples. Then we will separate into groups. Each group will go into a changing room, either with one of the dancers or myself as their leader, and will practice putting on and wearing kimono themselves. Is everyone clear?" There are some sparse nods, Sakura among them.

"Let's go." Takara-sensei leads the group through the thick divide in the middle of the curtain and onto the stage itself.

Hundreds of plush seats rise in great tiers in front of us, all the way to a ceiling painted like the night sky. The stage itself is wide and sweeping, with lights at its foot. For a moment, even I can't help but be awed, imagining what it must be like to be performing on this stage when the theater is full. How amazing and frightening it must be.

The dancers are waiting in a small group on the large, smooth wooden stage with a neat pile of fancy clothes beside them. They are all small and slim and muscled and long-legged. Their hair is down, and they are wearing nothing but what seems to be a thin white nightrobe on their bodies. At our approach, they all straighten up and gesture for us to sit down in front of them.

The demonstration is actually fairly quick. Kimono wearing seems simple enough. It's the doing it that will be the hard part.

First, the demonstrators show us that under what I thought was a sleeping robe, they are wearing a silk hip wrap called a koshimaki. Above the hip wrap is a short-sleeved kimono undershirt, tied shut at the waist with string. Finally, on top of that is the white robe, called an underrobe. The performers explain that the "underrobe" actually shows once you're wearing the full kimono regalia, such as when you lift the hem of the outer kimono while stepping out into the street. Its collar also shows slightly above the outer kimono's collar. That is why underrobes are not actually normally white. They are all different colors and patterns to coordinate with the outer kimono, which is mostly seen by the outside. The demonstrators just wore white today to keep things simple for us.

Next come the outer kimono. They demonstrate putting on a few for us. We think their brilliant colors and patterns and shimmering cloth is beautiful, and I can't help but join the others briefly to aww in delight. But the demonstrators laugh a little and explain that these are relatively plain compared to many kimono.

It is required to put the outer kimono over the shoulders very slowly and neatly and precisely so that there aren't any wrinkles and you don't bunch anything up and it all fits to your body perfectly. Then, because kimono are the same size no matter who wears them, the extra fabric that pools around your feet must be bunched up under the sash tied around the middle, which is called the obi. The knot to tie the obi in the back is the most complicated part of the whole thing, and they take several minutes showing us how to do it step by step.

I see many around me who are very confused, but they tell us not to worry too much. We'll all do it for each other at first, and it's easier to do it for someone else than yourself.

After this, Takara-sensei goes up to the front of the seated group to call out names and then name a leader. I am put with Sakura, a very quiet girl I've never spoken to before named Chichi, and a pretty young dark-haired dancer named Ume.

Ume leads us backstage to a dressing room, smiling pleasantly the whole way. She's not looking at me oddly or glaring at me, and I am a little relieved. Normally, I could have lived without mastering this lesson, but I need to learn this... from an unprejudiced person.

Ume is a good teacher. She's very nice to us as we put on our wraps and underrobes (in plain white), and then she sits us down in front of a little mirror above a dressing table and shows a bit about the different make-up brushes on it and what they do and where they're supposed to go. She helps us put some basic make-up on, and she even looks me in the eye and smiles when she comes over to help me hide the thin scars on my face behind a creamy face make-up.

A total stranger has never smiled at me before, just because. For the second time in almost two weeks, I give a genuine, if small, smile back.

Afterward, we all (except Sakura, whose hair is too short, and is therefore kept in the red hair ribbon she always ties on top of her head) put our hair up in simple buns at the backs of our heads, and Ume lets us choose from a little box of hair ornaments she's brought so that we can decorate our buns. We're each allowed to pick one. Chichi uses two long, thin polished wooden sticks decorated with butterflies to twist into her bun. Sakura picks a little hair clip to clip to her ribbon. I pick out a lacquered comb Sakura recommends for me. It has a jeweled flower on it, and she says the color matches my eyes. To our surprise, even silent little Chichi speaks up long enough to tell me it looks good, in a deep, solemn voice.

We put on the outer kimono then. Sakura chooses a dark blue one with pink sakura blossoms decorating it that goes well with her hair and her namesake. Its obi is red to match her ribbon. Chichi takes a simple one in light gold and mint green, with an obi in the same light gold color as the trimming. But instead of letting me choose from the racks of kimono that Sakura and Chichi choose from, Ume leads me to the back, where she takes out a beautifully made, formal black kimono with a deep blue obi. "Your grandfather has bought this for you for the funeral," she says quietly. Her face is serious. "He asked that it be brought here so that you can try it on beforehand, and to pick out a hair ornament to take home with you."

I am startled. Jiji said nothing to me of this. But then, Jiji hasn't said much in the past weeks. The thought brings me back down from wherever I've been in the past hour. "Alright," I say quietly, nodding.

She helps me dress, pointing out small differences between funeral kimono and regular kimono in a calm voice as we go. All I know in the end is that it's very heavy and stiff and I don't think I will ever get used to it. I restrain myself from snapping this at her when she asks me how I like it. "It's fine," I say, giving out a pained smile which I'm certain is more of a grimace.

When she puts me in thick white tabi socks and lacquered sandals, however, and places me in front of a full length mirror, I have to admit to myself... with my lovely kimono and my shiny golden hair done up with the jeweled comb that matches my eyes, I feel pretty for the first time in my life. I don't even recognize myself. But there is something missing. Something about my blank face.

Some small part of me thinks of Shigeru-jii, and what he would think of this if he could see me now. Some small part of me thinks he would disapprove. I don't like that thought. I hate that thought. And I hate the fact that I think he would be right in his disapproval.

The hot emotion boils up inside of me for a moment, and then it bursts into a flurry of movement as I run over to the make-up table and use thick, sharp black mascara to paint over the whisker-shaped scars on my face and make them stand out amidst all the make-up.

I am not ashamed of what I am. I will not hide it.

Ume looks startled. Sakura and Chichi are staring at me. I lift my chin defiantly and carry myself, even through all the heavy fabric, through the door and back to the main backstage area. Cat is standing there, somehow quiet and inconspicuous as ever, even in her ANBU garb. A few other girls are mingling around as well, waiting, and they all pause briefly to rove their eyes to my face as I walk back over to stand beside Cat, suddenly ready for the trip to be over.

Sakura and Ino join me a few minutes later, Ino in a soft silver and blue kimono decorated with waves, like the sea. They say nothing as they stand beside me, watching the backstage area slowly fill with dressed up girls, but I can feel them glancing uneasily at me out of the corners of their eyes. They seem to be doing that a lot lately.

Then, suddenly, an unwelcome voice shouts out across the room, "Well well well, if it isn't Little Miss Whiskers!"

The three of us turn to see Ami and her usual posse coming toward us. Usually, when we are too close to Cat, it keeps them away. But, even though she turns her blank mask to look at them as well, they don't pause. Ami's round, scrunched-up face is too eager for hesitation. She has been waiting for this.

"When I gave you the nickname, I didn't think you'd take it quite so literally," she sneers, eyeing my face. The girls behind her shriek with laughter.

I don't have to hide any embarrassment this time. A strong, burning kind of defiance has arisen within me, and I feel more powerful than I ever have. I glare at them, angry and indignant for the first time, instead of passive and numb and hesitant of insulting the people around me, at their laughing at something I have no control over. Something that has already brought me so much pain.

"Ooh, I'm sorry, have I insulted you, My Lady?" Ami says, dark eyes flashing at mine.

"Lay off, Ami!" Sakura, of all people, shouts suddenly, fiercer than I have ever seen her toward anyone. Perhaps shy little Sakura has a fire hidden somewhere inside her too, I think, as I watch her green eyes widen with a kind of protective anger I've never seen in her before.

"Standing up for Whiskers, Forehead Girl?" Ami's expression becomes even crueler as she turns to the quiet, bookish girl that I know for a fact she used to pick on before Ino stepped in and got right up in her face, fending her off and befriending Sakura in the process. "Why? I'm just being polite. If Her Ladyship is offended, I want to know what I've done to make it so."

"Bullshit," Ino says bluntly, taking a step toward Ami and her friends. A couple of them gasp quietly, and even I'm a bit startled. I've only ever heard that word a few times before: from the matron when she was drunk, and once from Shigeru-jii when he thought I wasn't listening.

The thought of Shigeru-jii, right in the midst of all of this, punches a hole somewhere inside me. I retreat into myself suddenly, and the anger fades a little.

Everyone in the backstage area has stopped to watch by now, even the few people who haven't seemed to have taken one side or the other. The adults are off helping one of the groups, except for Cat, who is watching us all inscrutably. No one is around to stop us.

"Why... I would never say such a horrible word!" Ami says shrilly, wrinkling her nose. "I'm a proper lady!"

"That's because you're your Daddy's Little Girl." Ino's icy blue eyes gleam as her pointed face twists into a smirk. "And I'm mine."

There is a moment of silence in which Ami's eyes widen. Ino is threatening Ami, I realize. With the head of a major founding ninja clan against a mere merchant, however wealthy, there is no contest as to who would win. No matter how much she might say to the contrary, Ami has to know this. She has to have been taught something about her place in the world by her father already.

No matter how mean Ami is to me, I feel uncomfortable at the idea of something so huge happening simply because I was angry at something someone had said. "Ino," I begin tiredly, "just let it go..."

"How kind of you, My Lady," Ami suddenly bites out, cornered and vicious. "But no matter how kind you try to be, my mother says it will never erase the shame the Sandaime's son had to die with for having to look after someone _like you!"_

Something inside of me that I didn't even know was strained suddenly snaps.

The burning emotion hidden somewhere behind the numbness for all these days boils over and washes over me in a wave, like lava pouring onto my body. Before I can even think about it, I am lunging at her so fast, she doesn't even raise her arms to protect herself. I remember her wide black eyes, shocked and frighened, just before I was on top of her, punching everything under me as hard as I could. The grief and the frustration and the sadness and the desperation and the shame and the anger and the realization of _he's gone and he's never coming back _all come up at once, and everything blurs together as I scream and I hit everything, everything and there is blood under my fists.

"Naruto!" Cat's voice is harder, sharper than I've ever heard it, so rock-hard that it breaks through everything and stops me right where I am, on top of Ami, fist raised. Her face is covered in blood and she's screaming.

My vision is still blurred and my eyes are burning. I am crying, I realize.

As my insides feel like they are collasping, being torn apart, Cat lifts me up in her arms, slides my sandals back on my feet, and walks out the back door of the theater without even speaking to anyone. I am so caught up in myself that I don't notice anything around me as the door slams shut behind us.

* * *

Author's Notes: Damn, I hated writing this chapter. I guess I have only myself to blame for falling in love with a character I knew I was going to kill off from the beginning.

Naruto is going to be going through some stuff in the next couple of chapters and then (finally) we'll get to the Academy. Be warned, however... things will be understandably depressing for a while around here.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	12. Chapter 11

_Chapter Eleven_

_Hiruzen_

Well, I'd be lying to myself if I tried to pretend I didn't suspect that something like this might happen.

Cat has just left after informing me of what went on in Naruto's lesson today. I'm not sure how to feel. On one hand, Kagaya Ami hinted at more about Naruto than she was ever supposed to suspect, and I'll be having words with her father. She's also obviously a jealous, juvenile, and tactless child. On the other hand, Naruto is fully aware of her place in the village as my granddaughter, and is also aware of how most people see her. This display today helped neither case. She must try to control her temper, if she truly is growing into one.

She most likely is. Her mother always had problems with her temper as well. If she has inherited the infamous Uzumaki anger, God help us all.

I come to a stand-still in front of her bedroom door and knock. "Naruto?"

There is a slight pause. Then, "Come in." She sounds calm. She should be. I gave her a few minutes to cool off before coming to see her.

I walk into the room. A decorated blue hair comb is sitting on top of her dresser, looking strange amidst all the ninja equipment and equipment care appliances. The kimono, obi, and assorted garments are laid out at the foot of her bed. She is in her flannel pajamas, sitting cross-legged on her bed, probably fresh from meditation.

Well, she's gotten that down, at least.

There are still faint smudges on her face from where her make-up smeared with tear tracks. The sight makes me falter for a moment. I have to forcefully gain back the resolve to say what I'm about to say.

"I heard about what happened at lessons today." She continues to look me right in the eye, not ashamed in the least. I sigh. "Naruto, you must remember your place at the forefront of the village. You do realize that the only reason her father can't persecute our family for this assault is because Ami has unwittingly revealed that her parents have been hinting at things concerning your prisoner that they shouldn't have been hinting at to a child, do you not?"

Her eyes widen at this, and then she looks away. So she hadn't realized. Just went in there, rash and quick-tempered and prideful, so much like her mother. I feel an exasperation mixed with fondness, and control my face to remain grave as I continue on.

"Naruto, you must try to control your temper." Her head shoots up and she opens her mouth furiously to argue. I cut her off. "I realize what she said to you was unfair. I believe we have already discussed that it is an unfortunate repercussion of your state that you must always try to be the better person." She turns away, face screwed up. "Naruto," I say softer, worried, "you will never do yourself any favors by behaving like this. Your image will forever remain skewed. I will have to issue a public statement saying you were provoked, and then there's no guaranteeing how many people will believe me. Many who simply do not want to listen will see a girl in your class attacked by you, and fill in the blanks with their own conclusions."

There is a moment of silence, and then her shoulders hunch up. Her back, facing me, begins to tremble. "It's just not fair," she sobs out after a moment in a harsh whisper. "None of it. _It's not fair._"

The girl has a talent for understatement. I feel guilty for making her feel this way, even though it had to be said. We are just all going through too much right now.

I walk over to sit down on the bed and hug her from behind, tucking her under my chin. "I know," I say quietly. "I know it's not fair."

Her whole life is "not fair", from beginning to end. And yet she's always so happy, so cheerful. It is this strength which will make Naruto amazing one day.

"Never lose that fire," I whisper to her as she sobs into my shoulder. "Channel it carefully, but never lose that strength inside of you."

We sit like that for a long time. Then, abruptly, the silence is shattered by a patter of little feet running up to Naruto's bedroom doorway. "Jiji, Nee-chan!" Ko bursts in, wide-eyed. "There's this weird guy who says he's my uncle at the front door!"

He pauses, taking stock of the situation. "Uh, sorry," he says sheepishly, "was I interrupting something?"

Naruto lets out a watery laugh, and I can't help but chuckle myself. "No, no," I reply, letting go of Naruto to heave myself to my feet. "Let's go see this weird guy."

I walk out of the room, hearing Naruto and Ko follow behind me. "What's wrong?" Ko whispers, concerned.

"Nothing," I hear Naruto attempt to reassure him, but my grandson is formidably intelligent for his age.

"It was that mean girl again, wasn't it?" he suddenly asks cannily, sounding furious.

"Sort of. But don't worry. I beat her face in." Despite everything, she still sounds proud of herself.

"Really?" Ko sounds disturbingly excited. "Finally! Told you that'd solve everything," he adds sagely.

This is followed by quiet giggling.

My grandchildren are quite terrifying. They might just take over the world someday. My lips twitch despite themselves at the thought.

My suspicions were correct, I realize as we reach the last staircase to the bottom floor. There he is, standing in the entrance hall with his duffel bag, looking distinctly awkward, Aya giving him one of her thin-lipped glares from off to the side. He has grown more broad-shouldered and tanner, and he has the beginnings of a beard now, but he is still instantly recognizable.

"Asuma."

* * *

_Naruto_

Asuma is nothing like his brother.

Whereas Shigeru-jii _was_... my heart hurts at the word... small and lithe and graceful, Asuma is large and broad-shouldered, almost brawny. Shigeru-jii _had _black hair and dark eyes like Jiji's, and Asuma's hair and eyes are brown. Shigeru-jii _was _clean-shaven, and Asuma has a beard. Shigeru-jii _was _a widower, and Aya and even Sanken keep making hidden little jibes at Asuma about "glittery, flighty girls." Shigeru-jii _was _a Konoha ninja, and Asuma has spent the last few years guarding the Fire Lord at the capital. Shigeru-jii _used to _like spending time with his family, and Asuma has rented an apartment out in the village for his stay.

I don't think he was sure how to react to me when he learned I'm living with the Sarutobis. He looked over at me and his eyes widened when Jiji introduced us. He recovered quickly enough and said hello, but I could tell he was thrown off. I wonder why he didn't know about me before. I've been here well over a year. Did his family never write to him?

Maybe not. Shigeru-jii never spoke of him, and Jiji is a bit formal toward him. Aya calls him "the irresponsible one." Ko likes him, with his deep voice and his broad shoulders, and his new uncle distracts him from the darkness in the rest of the family. I am not as easily distracted. Whenever I see Asuma, I can't help but think of Shigeru-jii. Luckily, he is not around all that often, mostly because he seems rather guilty and awkward whenever he is.

Everything hurts so much, it's like walking around with a hole punched through me. I keep busy thinking about things, like the cooking we've continued in ettiquette classes and the flowers in my room and keeping up with my shinobi training regimen and the books I read with Jiji at night, or else I feel I would lose myself to the swell of emotions inside me. It's hard to sleep at night, because that's when I'm most free to think, and the memories always come flooding back. Jiji has let me take a few books I like, a couple of fiction and a couple about history, from the library and into my room, and whenever I think too much at night, I take them from the bookcase and read them by the moonlight coming in through the window.

I feel like I'm running away. I hate running away. But I hate what happens when my grief catches up to me even more.

_Grief._ I remember the first time I came across the word in a book, and Jiji explained to me what it meant. I thought I understood exactly what he was talking about back then. Pain. I knew pain. It was just another form of pain, right? But looking back, I realize I had no idea what it was. Not back then. I thought I understood Shigeru-jii's pain about his wife's death, too, but I was wrong.

I can understand how withdrawn he was when I first met him now. His irritability. The dark circles under his eyes. I have those too now.

What I don't understand is how it seemed to get better for him as time went on. How it seemed to get easier to handle. It doesn't feel like it will ever get easier for me. It feels like a part of me has been ripped away, and the hole the rip made is too wide to be sewn up.

I have lost all control of my own emotions, and they stay down and dark, fluctuating between furious, irrational anger at the world for taking Shigeru-jii away from me after making me go through _six years_ of pain under the matron, and the heavy feeling that life will never get better.

I prefer the anger. The anger I can channel by going down and beating the training dummies and pretending to use katas on invisible enemies until I feel better. The anger is what carries me through the streets to my lessons each day, through all the whispering and staring people, who watch me more than ever now. The anger is what tells me that _they don't understand me, so they have no right to judge _and _I wasn't wrong, Ami was. _The anger makes me feel strong, and snaps out to defend me when something hurts too much. The anger is what is keeping Ami (face bruised and scratched) and her friends from getting anywhere near me during lessons anymore. It is what keeps them as far away as possible, glancing at me fearfully and whispering among themselves.

The heavy hopelessness is worse. It is impossible to get rid of, impossible to release. It churns inside of me like a caged animal, a dark cloud that hangs over all my thoughts and slows down my movements. Nothing is beautiful anymore. All the color has been sucked out of everything, because _what's the point of beauty if it's so fleeting and so quickly and easily destroyed?_ I don't want to live in a world like that. And the darkness spills over and makes my throat burn and tears come to my eyes.

This heaviness can come anytime, and it is the only emotion I have ever seen completely overpower the numbness. It is impossible to _not feel _when it decides to overtake me.

To combat this, Ino takes her CD player to lessons every day now, and gives it to me to listen to music with during the period. It keeps us from having to say anything to each other. I don't know what to say, and I don't think they do either. I let the music pound through me, and keep to myself. It is soothing in an odd sort of way. The music doesn't make the pain go away. Instead, it supports it, giving it a natural flow through the body. It makes me feel in sync with something vital, like some part of the music understands some part of me.

Ino and Sakura always sit beside me to talk, but I am not a part of it. Instead, I float along the music, accessing a piece of myself that they cannot yet access inside their own souls.

It is a painful awakening. I hope they do not have to experience it for a long time.

* * *

It is raining. The rain is light and silvery-gray, pattering along the ground from the heavy sky, just a light sprinkle to dew the grass around our feet. I normally enjoy the sweet, heavy smell of rain, but today I have enjoyed nothing.

I can see through the shimmering, gauze curtain of rain. There in front of me is a headstone. In front of the headstone is a closed wooden casket, being lowered slowly into a hole in the ground.

I have discovered that I hate funeral directors. Ours seems so pretentious as he rattles on about someone he didn't even know in his gravelly voice. As we stand here before him, the guests standing respectfully in the main section of the plot, while we, the family, are cordoned off in our own separate place on the side.

I want to scream at him and beat my fists and tell him that _no one cares _how great he thinks Shigeru-jii probably was, because he didn't know him and anyway, Shigeru-jii is dead. How can anyone even speak when they know Shigeru-jii is dead, and we won't even be able to tell because that casket is empty?

Thick, heavy, choking tears have been spilling down my face all day as I stand here, trying not to pay attention to the funeral all around me... to Sakura and Ino standing close to the front with their families, their faces heavy with sadness... to Aya and Sanken, standing near them in the main crowd because they aren't allowed to stand in the family section because of some stupid old rule only a Council member would care about anyway... to the hundreds of villagers who have come out in assembly to this, the burying of the Sandaime's son, and are so distraught that they aren't even glaring at me today... to the nobles in their stiff clothes who don't really care about this anyway, and have just come because it looks good... to Asuma, carrying the lacquered umbrella protecting the family from the rain, his face twisted with a guilt and heaviness that makes me feel more charitable toward him than I have since he first got here... to Jiji, who looks older than ever today as he places a hand on the shoulder of each child and gazes silently at his son's empty casket... to Ko, who is staring forward uncomprehendingly, wide-eyed and haunted at the idea that his father really is gone... But especially, I try not to pay attention to the pretentious funeral director, supposedly the best there is, who just keeps on talking and talking about someone he didn't know until I feel like I'm going to burst.

Instead, I focus on the tears on my face and the soft fabric of my kimono clenched into the fists I have made at my sides and the patter of the rain and Shigeru-jii's headstone.

Soon, all there is in the entire world is Shigeru-jii's headstone.

* * *

The plot is small, set on a rolling green hill overlooking the city, which is just a little way away. We can see practically all of Konoha from this hill, laid out below us in all its variety.

I sit under a tall tree in a corner of the plot, hidden away among its giant roots. The ground tilts just slightly in a gentle slope downward, and the shade of the leaves above proves soothing. I breathe in the scent of dew and plants around me, a result of my extensive training in reaching out my senses.

I never got to show Jii that.

I can't see any of the actual graves from my position, nor can I see the hundreds of people milling around them. Even their voices coming from the rest of the plot, hidden from my view by the giant tree, seem muted somehow, as if they are coming from very far away. I prefer it this way. In this little place of isolation, I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of me. I don't have to attempt to hide my emotions.

I don't have to attempt to hide how tired I am.

Konohamaru sits beside me, as silent as I am, his face scowling in an attempt to hide pain behind anger and frustration and mulishness.

I say nothing to him about this. We are going through the same thing. We understand each other. There is no need for words.

It reminds me a bit of Shigeru-jii, which brings a pang of sorrow again.

The sun has come back out after the light rain, making all the greenery around us gleam with drops of water. Suddenly, the day seems too beautiful to hold an event like this.

_I'm getting grass stains on my kimono _I think to myself, wondering why I even care. Wondering when my thoughts became so jumbled and chaotic.

I hear soft footsteps from the other side of the tree, and then Ino's and Sakura's faces peek around the trunk. "Hey," Sakura says quietly, her face twisted in a pity that I hate more than anything else.

Ino's face mirrors Sakura's, but all she says is, "A woman is looking for you."

It's probably Aya. I nod and sigh, resigning myself to joining the rest of the crowd. As I stand up, Ko stands with me, but Sakura shakes her head. "Sh-She was just asking for Naruto," she explains hesitantly.

Ko frowns and sits back down. I am confused. Aya would have asked for both of us. Then who could it be?

I follow my friends back out to the graveyard, which is the same as it was when I retreated to the tree: full of quiet, solemn people walking around, murmuring to each other, bowing respectfully to Jii's grave in passing. Everything just reinforces the heavy quiet, reminding me of why we're here in the first place. I hate it. I hate it!

I remember thinking once that I never want to arrange flowers for a funeral. I was wrong. Funerals need happy, colorful bouquets like I make.

After a moment, though, as I dwell miserably on the solemn faces I pass by, I realize something.

When the adults catch my eye, some of them don't look away. Some of them don't glare. Some of them continue to look at me respectfully, or even pityingly. A couple even nod to me in passing. I am so stunned at this that it takes me a moment before I regain myself enough to nod back.

My mind whirls at this realization, so much so that I don't pay attention to where we're going until Sakura tugs at my sleeve. I break out of my reverie to look up at them, startled. Ino points. "That's the woman."

She is slim and statuesque and dark-haired. Dressed in a simple lavender kimono, she moves like a shinobi through and through, making her seem almost awkward in the dressy clothes. Her neck is long, her face is thin and pale, and her eyes are a dark, deep brown. I don't know her.

I walk over to her anyway. "Ma'am," I say politely, catching her attention. She turns to look at me, and when she doesn't glare, I feel relieved. "You wanted to see me?"

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. "Naruto?" she says questioningly, and my eyes widen.

"Cat?" I almost breathe.

"Shhh," she hisses hurriedly, her eyes darting around her, as if to make sure no one heard. "Not in public... It's Megumi." The way she says it seems almost reluctant.

_Megumi. _I have a name and a face to go with my bodyguard now. The thought is strange, and at the same time, wonderful. Unbidden, a lump crawls up into my throat again, though this time for a different reason. I fly at her and hug her around the waist.

"You came," I whisper into her kimono.

She stiffens, and then slowly relaxes into the embrace. "I came," she mutters, rubbing my back like she did that first day.

I stand there for a moment, reveling in the fact that I know the face behind the ANBU mask now... And then it registers. The ANBU mask.

Megumi is an ANBU. Once her term with me ends, when I start at the Academy, Megumi will take other missions. Black Ops missions, ones even more dangerous then Shigeru-jii used to take. Megumi could die. In just a moment, Megumi could die. Any shinobi could.

I go cold at the thought, and my head shoots up to stare her right in the face. She gazes down at me in surprise at the sudden move. "Megumi," I say slowly, "ANBU is the most dangerous position there is, right?"

She looks even more surprised at the sudden topic. "... Debatable," she replies after a slight pause. "But many say so, yes."

"And you could die, right? At any time, right?" Megumi's eyes widen. Her mouth opens quickly, and then slowly closes again. She can't think of anything to say to refute it, though a small part of me hoped desperately that she would.

Panic rises up within me, clutching at my chest and binding around it, making it hard to breathe. My air comes in and out in short, painful gasps. "Cat, you can't die. You can't!" I shake my head furiously, my mind rebelling at the thought. "You just _can't_!" I gasp out.

She takes my shoulders in her iron grip. "Naruto," she says in her firmest voice, "_breathe._"

Reluctantly, I close my eyes and force myself to concentrate only on my breathing. Just on my breathing. In and out, just like in meditation. Slowly, the panic's grip loosens, and then it breaks away completely. In the calm that follows, I open my eyes to find Megumi kneeling down to look me in the eye.

"All ANBU take the position voluntarily, for the good of the people, knowing how dangerous it is. That is my decision," she tells me quietly, her brown eyes penetrating into mine.

"But... but you could quit! Become a jonin! Isn't it true that most ANBU only serve for a few years anyway?" I ask her desperately, the pain still fresh in my mind.

She actually falters briefly at this, which gives me a flicker of hope. "It is true," she admits. "Technically, I have gone past the term of two years that all volunteers are required to attend... I have been considering leaving." The hope blossoms within me, and I open my mouth eagerly, but she interrupts me with another firm look. "I said I was thinking about it. Perhaps after you start at the Academy."

The hope fades again, though it doesn't disappear. Catching my downcast expression, Megumi adds, "Naruto, this is shinobi life. We live and we die, usually quicker than others. This is something you have to learn to accept. You can't save everyone, no matter how much you might want to."

I frown, frustrated, defiant tears stinging my eyes. I don't like that idea. "But I can save as many as possible, right?" I shoot back. "I can become stronger than anyone and save as many people as I possibly can, right? I can always fight to do better, I can always try harder, I can always give everything I have to everyone to try and make everything alright, can't I? Can't I?" I demand, not even caring when my voice breaks.

Megumi gives me an unreadable look for a long moment. Then, for the first time, she smiles. Her smile stretches across her face in a spirited, almost tomboyish grin, surprising in a woman I've always known as a serious ANBU. "Yeah," she says softly, a strange look in her eye as she watches me. "Yeah, I guess you can, can't you?"

Something in my chest eases up at those words. I was right. I just have to work hard. Fight as hard as I possibly can, and never give up. Save people.

It makes a strange, natural, fundamental kind of sense.

Caught up in this sudden strength amidst all the pain, I turn away from Megumi, gazing out at the graveyard full of people and the beauty of Konoha beyond it. A breeze blows gently into my face, stirring countless raindrops, as I look into each indivdual face, the ones I know and the ones I don't, pondering life and strength and shinobi...

The faces remind me of another question I had. "Ca... Megumi. Some of the adults like me now." She turns back to me from her own view of the graveyard, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Some of them seem almost... respectful." I am still thrown off balance at the thought. "Why is that?"

A thoughtful look comes over her face. "Well," she eventually replies, "between your living with the family of the Professor himself, and not bringing them any harm... and your spending time with a lot of other little girls, and not giving them harm until recently, and then under provocation... and your obvious sense of loss today at the Sandaime's son's death... perhaps they're just starting to see you as human."

I give a small start, and then turn back to stare at the people in front of me.

Even when I'm looking for it, I can't see quite as much animosity as I used to.

* * *

Music pounds into my ears and through my body, making my heart beat in time to it and my head spin. I watch the faces around me as I walk through the city, still getting used to the respectful faces amid all the hateful ones. Sakura and Ino are beside me and Cat-Megumi is behind me. Takara-sensei leads the group from the front, as usual.

It has been almost two weeks since Shigeru-jii's funeral. Everyone still misses him terribly, but perhaps the most terrible part of all is the feeling that despite ourselves, we're starting to move forward. Leave him behind as a memory.

Yesterday, for example, Jiji announced at dinner that we would be having a new trainer in the shinobi arts starting next week. He is a special jonin from out in the village. When Ko protested, Jiji said firmly that we could not sit around and let this loss control our lives forever. We are to treat our new teacher with respect. In turn, he is supposed to do the same for us. Ko was still angry and sulking, but I explained to him after dinner that no matter how much it hurt, we had to do this. We had to work hard and get stronger. Shigeru-jii would have wanted that. Ko's face finally relaxed a bit, and some of the scowl left his face. He sighed shakily and nodded and gave me a hug. Poor Ko.

Yes, we are starting to leave Jii behind. But we haven't yet. It still hurts too much.

I recognize Asuma's new apartment building as we pass it by. He has decided to stay in Konoha for now. Perhaps it is the strange guilt in his face which drives him to do this. Perhaps he is trying to make up for not being here before.

I have been interacting more with Asuma lately. He has been coming around a bit more often, and we have been getting along surprisingly well. Like Shigeru-jii in some ways, he is kind and casual, with a dry sense of humor. He smokes almost as much as Jiji does, though with cigarettes instead of a wood pipe.

We were hesitant around each other at first, but I think he almost likes me. He has taken to calling me "-hime" lately. Once I would have blushed at this. But something fundamental has changed in me sometime since Shigeru's death. I feel more reckless, more bold, more challenging. I feel like I am channeling that "inner fire" Jiji has talked to me about, like in my pain I have cast off my hesitancy at this great world I was thrown into like an annoying shroud. It feels... good. I don't know if I should be feeling good at a time like this, but I feel... free.

Once I would have blushed. Now I break into a wide, mischievious smile and tell him boldly that he's lucky to be "Naruto-hime's Asuma-jii." He just laughs at this, something I don't hear from him all that often. "Minx," he calls me, and then Ko runs over and grabs him around the neck from behind, demanding a piggy-back ride with a glint in his eyes that is luckily becoming a bit more common again lately.

For a moment, in those times, Asuma feels like a real part of the family. But he still lives out in the village instead of at home. I'm not sure why.

I break out of my thoughts when Sakura taps me on the shoulder. She and Ino point forward, to what looks like a simple dance studio, which we stop in front of. I take off my headphones to listen as Takara-sensei turns to the group, milling about, and begins to speak.

"This is our final unit," she begins with great ceremony, and then, to our amazement, she gives a small, genuine smile. "The art of dance."

* * *

Author's Notes: I wrote most of this under the influence of the songs "Tied Together With A Smile" by Taylor Swift and "Beautiful Disaster" by Jon McLaughlin. Whether you're into that style of music or not, they're beautiful songs. I recommend them. "Beautiful Disaster" was actually one of my inspirations for beginning this story.

Konoha is starting to truly and fully separate into the people who support Naruto and the people who are determined to hate her. The latter will be that way for a long time, probably for as long as most of Konoha hated Naruto in canon. Luckily for this Naruto, a lot more of the fence sitters chose to see her as a person than in canon, mostly because of her differing circumstances.

I give a rough estimate of about two more chapters (maximum) until we get to the Academy.

As always, any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	13. Chapter 12

_Chapter Twelve_

Dancing, I discover, really is just like doing taijutsu katas. The movements must be swift and precise and go in exactly the right order. They must be timed and graceful, and you must anticipate them before you do them. There can be no halts in the flow of movement, no off-hand jerks or sudden spurts or pauses in the sequence of moves. There can be no obvious holes or openings in any stances, although the consequences are not nearly so deadly if there are. And there are several basic stances and individual moves that must all flow together into one great picture, one long river.

Shigeru-jii was right. The thought brings another pang deep inside my chest.

I forcibly shake off the pain and focus on Takara-sensei, who is, to our surprise, teaching this unit herself. I thought perhaps Ume and the other dancers might come back to work with us again, but instead Takara-sensei has rented out a room at the dance studio to use for two hours three times a week. She is lining us up in rows on the polish-scented wooden floor and then standing up at the front, right near the long mirror, to show us how to do the different moves. Her movements are very rigidly sequenced, not entirely natural, but her smooth experience with them cannot be denied.

Her method is simple. She shows us how to do the moves, and then we try to repeat them after her. Theoretically, we should also all be doing the moves at the same time.

That's going about as well as individual cooking stations did.

Still, though we can't all do them at the same time, the moves she's shown us so far are fairly simple. Most can repeat them, and the few clumsy ones who can't are quickly moved up to the front by Takara-sensei. "Usually it's the other way around," she explained to us once, "with the ones who have trouble in the back and the ones who look good at the front. But that's only in professional dancing troupes, when it's important to look good for the audience. Here, it's best if we realize your weaknesses and get rid of them right away."

I was put up in front on the very first day, to my dismay. I wasn't entirely surprised, since it was Takara-sensei, but I didn't like the way she silently assumed that I would be one of those doing worst. I set out immediately to prove her wrong.

After my training in basic taijutsu, of course, picking up on the moves and stances and making them flow together in the correct order was not that hard. Within the first few sessions, Takara-sensei had quietly moved me to the middle row, right next to Sakura and Ino. That was good... but still not quite good enough. Selfish though it might be of me, I was secretly hoping to gain the satisfaction of being moved to the back row.

I tried to explain this to Sakura and Ino one day after a session. They didn't seem to understand at all.

"What do you mean, Naruto?" Sakura asked in confusion. "You're doing great. She moved you away from the clumsy row, didn't she?" she finished in a 'what more could you want?' sort of way.

"Yeah," Ino agreed. "Look at you. Ami-bitch won't even look at you anymore. You've shown Takara-sense that she shouldn't care about your parents or whatever, because you're still talented yourself. You're really good at this. Why so hung up on one more row?"

I felt almost betrayed. I thought at least the louder, more passionate Ino might understand. I frowned, trying to find the words to explain what I was feeling. "But I mean," I said slowly, "haven't you ever wanted to do something just to prove you can? Haven't you ever wanted to be able to show someone who doubted it just how strong you really are? Haven't you ever wanted to do your very best at something just so you could be proud of yourself afterward?"

I felt it all the time. In my determination to become, not only a powerful shinobi, but a good one. Every time I helped Aya cook a meal in the kitchen, and could do most of it by myself. Whenever I passed by a neutral or vaguely respectful villager in the streets, and we nodded to each other like normal people. Whenever I determinedly ignored a cold, glaring villager.

They just raised their eyebrows at me, obviously startled by my passion. There was no answering fire, no similar connection, in their eyes.

They didn't understand, I realized.

Ino had started her shinobi training, I knew from talking to her. Occasionally she'd ask me for tips on how to do something, so I knew how far along she was. Her father hadn't started her regimen nearly to the extent Shigeru-jii and Jiji had to mine. I was much farther along than her. All of the exercises she did were fairly basic and relatively easy.

She got good grades at the public school she and Sakura went to, but she was mostly a B student. She didn't really strain herself to do absolutely perfect in a civilian school that she knew was only going to be a stepping stone anyway.

She was the only child of two very loving parents, she had good friends everywhere because of her confident attitude, and she was usually very comfortable with herself.

Sakura had no real exercises to do outside of school. Her parents were civilian merchants who, by her own admission, "treated her like a china doll." I wasn't even sure if she was going to apply for the Konoha Ninja Academy.

She got straight As at public school, but because of her natural love for reading and her photographic memory, that wasn't any great strain for her. Sakura was naturally book-smart. Ami had not just nicknamed her "Forehead Girl" because of her wide forehead.

She, again, had very loving parents. She also had a lot of friends, in me and through Ino. She didn't used to have friends, and she was picked on by Ami, but from what I knew, she had never tried to defend herself against Ami's bullying until Ino came along and gave her a bit more self-confidence.

Neither of them had ever really had to try for anything.

As I left with Cat-Megumi that afternoon, I reflected to myself that this was another thing that separated me from my friends. Not only had I gone through many painful things that I hoped they never had to... I knew what it was to want something so badly in the face of people telling you that you couldn't have it.

The thought made me feel lonely.

Strange moments like this... flashes of depression or dark thoughts or loneliness... are always quickly suppressed, but they still happen somewhat frequently. The smallest thing can touch off a memory or a dark reflection and send my emotions spiraling downward rapidly. I didn't know what to do about this or my dancing problem until one day, right in the middle of a dance class. I was doing a certain move right beside Sakura and Ino, as I normally was. I happened to glance over at them during the move, and suddenly they seemed so far away from me. It seemed like there was an entire wide gulf of experiences and emotions separating, not only me and them, but me and all the children around me.

This sudden, overarching despair, which I would normally have suppressed with meditation or reading or listening to Ino's CD player or gardening or training with Ko... or even cooking with Aya... I could do nothing about in the middle of a dance class. The darkness welled up within me, fierce and cloistering and consuming... and then I pushed all of it into one great, flowing move. I'm not sure how to explain how the emotion suddenly became a part of the dance, being released through the movement of my body. Suddenly, I could feel my dance taking on an entirely new energy and dimension, flowing with the great tidal wave of inner sensation I was swept up in.

That was when I realized it. It was one thing to defend yourself against an enemy in a taijutsu kata. It was an entirely different thing to make a beautiful, perfect dance that expressed the very pinnacle of emotion itself without saying a word.

I could release my emotions through my dancing, let them become a part of my song.

I was moved to the back row not very long after that realization. Dancing has become a release I look forward to every day.

* * *

Konohamaru and I are waiting for our new special-jonin-sensei to arrive at the underground training chambers. We are nervous, but for different reasons.

Konohamaru is nervous because this will be his first encounter with a teacher who is not his father, or occasionally, his grandfather.

I am nervous because I know from my reading with Jiji what a big deal it is to be taught by a jonin, even just the lower rank of special jonin. Besides, though Jiji promised that the man would treat us with respect, I can't help but wonder... will he have a problem with me being a Jinchuuriki?

So to distract ourselves, I am giving Ko tips on how to throw his kunai better. He can't throw nearly as far as I can... he is just a few months short of five, after all. But I kneel down behind him and help him hold the kunai better, teaching him how to aim and how to throw. He takes up another kunai and rears his arm back, and I hold his hand to adjust it slightly...

Suddenly, a male voice rings out across the room, "That is not perfect technique!"

We both start and look up to see a man with a hitai-ate on his forehead standing across the room, his arms folded. Not even I heard him coming... then again, he _is _a special jonin.

He is of medium height and slim build, with a pale, pointed face and dark-shaded glasses partially hiding his eyes. He is dressed in deep, navy blue pants and shirt. Tied around his head is a dark kerchief, which has his hitai-ate symbol sewn into its front. There is lithe muscle under his tight clothes, and even standing still, he carries himself like a shinobi.

Ko frowns at him. "What do you mean, it's not perfect?!" he shouts, almost antagonistically.

A smug look comes over the man's face and he reaches up to push his glasses farther up his nose. "That is imperfect technique. It is not correct. That is not the proper way to throw a kunai."

I stand up beside Ko. "I can use it, and hit the targets too," I say, confused.

"That is irrelevant," the man says in a dismissive way, not even looking away from Ko to glance at me. "It is not the proper way to throw a kunai."

I frown as well, not liking being ignored. "What do you mean by 'proper'? It works, doesn't it? As long as it can hit the target, isn't that considered a 'proper' shinobi technique?"

The man finally looks away from Ko to stare at me. The cast of his face seems irritated. "There are certain 'textbook', if I may, ways to do things. Certain tried and true techniques approved by the top shinobi of our esteemed village. Certain shortcuts to achieve the best possible techniques at the best possible speed. Certain tested and experimented training methods designed to increase one's capacity on the field. These are techniques and ways that every Konoha shinobi or future Konoha shinobi should be using." He finishes his speech as if he's reciting memorized rote.

Ko is scowling. He probably has no idea what any of that means, but doesn't wish to show it. I understand it, though, and it irritates me.

"How do you think those techniques were come by?" I can't help but argue. "At some point, every one of those techniques was a new idea or way of doing things that had to be given a chance."

"You think you know better than shinobi on the level of your grandfather in such matters?" He sounds condescending now, and I hate that even more.

"I think it would be stupid to dismiss a technique or way of doing things just because it's new, especially if it works," I reply heatedly, glaring up at him. "It doesn't matter how 'proper' this way of throwing kunai is if it can aim the kunai well enough to hit the target."

He glares back at me fully for a long moment. Ko is staring between us. "Nonetheless," the man replies after a moment, "I am your teacher and I don't want you throwing kunai that way."

"Our last teacher did!"

"And your last teacher would have wanted you to listen to the orders of your superiors," the man says, drawing himself up to tower over me. "That, as you will learn, is one of the Shinobi Creeds."

"Another of the Shinobi Creeds is that a subordinate should be on the look-out for superior orders that seem competely illogical or detrimental to the mission, for the superior may be a traitor or not of sound mind," I shoot back. He stares at me. "And I know what the Shinobi Creeds are," I can't help but add. "I was taught how to read by the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure."

His face twists in anger and he opens his mouth, but then there is a slight pause. Then his mouth snaps shut again and his face abruptly closes itself. "A teacher can only teach the student," he says, as if to himself. "It is up to the student to follow the teacher. If you choose not to follow my instructions, I cannot help you. Throw the kunai the wrong way if you must." By the end of the speech, the condescension is back.

"Okay," I tell him, forcing myself to shrug nonchalantly.

"Yeah!" Ko adds, standing beside me to glare at him too.

The man stares at us coldly for a long moment before saying, "I am Ebisu, personal trainer of Hokages -"

"You trained the Yondaime?" I interrupt in sudden interest.

"Do not interrupt me!" he snaps, sounding frustrated. I can see a faint flush to his face.

He didn't.

This man has never trained a Hokage in his life. The others are too old for a man in his late twenties to have trained them.

He takes a deep breath and starts again. "I am Ebisu, personal trainer of Hokages, and it is my job to mold the Honored Grandson here into a perfect Hokage candidate, using special, _approved _techniques and shortcuts only I can teach him." He gives Ko another smug look. Ko scowls, clearly not appreciating this or liking the idea of this training.

I know I told Ko we should treat our new teacher with respect so that we can learn better, like Jii would have wanted us to... but I take it back. This man annoys me.

Besides, it's not like Jii would have wanted us to take orders from someone like _him. _Shigeru-jii could have beaten this pansy in two seconds flat.

"And what about me," I interrupt again. "What if I wanted to be Hokage instead of Ko?" Do I not get any of his "special shortcuts"?

Ebisu pretends not to have heard me. "Now, I want you to go through each of the exercises you go through during a typical, full-length training day, in the order you do them in." We stand there, glaring at him for a moment. "Go!" he orders, and we reluctantly rush off to complete the exercises.

He doesn't seriously critique anything else we do.

I still miss Shigeru-jii.

* * *

"Naruto, you're being immature."

No, I'm not!" I shout, frustrated.

It's dinnertime. I tried to calm myself after our session with Ebisu by helping Aya cook the meal, but it didn't do much. Jiji finally got home, and Ko and I immediately beset him, complaining to him about all the things Ebisu had said. I thought this would fix everything, but to my surprise, Jiji is completely unsympathetic.

"Really," he scolds me, "I expected such immaturity of Ko. He's younger. But from you..."

He sounds disappointed. The thought stings. "_I'm _the one who told Ko we should give him a chance," I insist, trying to push my emotions back behind the numbness and explain. "But he's horrible. He completely ignores me, he's a smug egomaniac, and he doesn't think we can do anything right! Not to mention, he keeps talking about 'shortcuts' and 'textbook techniques'. Shigeru-jii always told us the only way to truly get better was through hard work, and that as long as something worked, it didn't matter how weird it was!"

I finish my entreaty, looking up at him pleadingly. "He sucks," Ko adds from my side, the pout obvious in his voice. He fell into a scowling, sulky silence the moment Jiji first said he wasn't changing our teacher. Ko has been doing that a lot lately.

Jiji sighs and kneels down to look us in the eyes. "You have to stop comparing him to Shigeru," he says gently. "It won't do either of you any good."

The matter-of-fact tone to his voice makes me pause. Ko is suddenly silent beside me.

"Ebisu is not Shigeru. You must accept this. And trust me when I say that I know he's obnoxious about it, but he _is_ a very good teacher and those 'textbook techniques' _do _work. He is also anything but lazy, despite all his talk of shortcuts. Just give him another chance. I have talked to him about you, and he knows that he must treat you fairly." He gives me a significant glance, and I realize he expects me to come to a different understanding of what he's saying than Ko. "Tell me if he purposefully excludes you from anything or tells you something that doesn't make sense. Tell me if you feel his techniques aren't working for you. I will also be keeping a close eye on him. But until something like that occurs, I have no grounds for firing him from the position, and it would be wrong of me to do so."

By the end of the speech, even Ko looks deflated. "What about Asuma-jii? He's had shinobi training, right? He could train us," I say in a desperate, last-ditch effort to avoid having to see Ebisu again.

Jiji gives me one of his Looks. "Asuma is not even an active duty ninja," he reminds me.

I sigh. "... I still don't like him," I grumble, giving in... for now.

Jiji smiles a little. "You don't have to. Trust me when I say that you won't like every teacher you'll ever have, Naruto-chan. That goes for both of you," he adds, looking over at Ko, who lifts his head up reluctantly. "But that doesn't mean you can't learn from them. Let's just give it another shot, okay? Keep in mind, he hasn't even done anything yet."

He pauses to let us digest that for a moment. "Now," he finally finishes, standing up, "why don't you two go get Sanken for dinner, hm?"

* * *

Ebisu stands over us primly the next day, his face blankly composed. "Now," he says, "I have reviewed your previous teacher's training with you, and while I feel we should continue _your _training plans the same way for now," he says, nodding to Ko, "_you _are old enough to be doing a little something more." He nods to me. He is actually looking me in the eye today. I have to wonder if Jiji said something to him.

"So, you will stop doing the swimming, balancing, and strength-building exercises. You will still stretch and meditate with the Honored Grandson before each session, as I feel it's a good habit to get into. But your body has been trained in the basic ways of swimming, balancing, and exercise endurance to a sufficient extent already, and based on your performance yesterday, I don't feel you can get much more from the exercises. Therefore, you will exchange those basic exercises for some chakra exercises, in addition to continuing your basic taijutsu exercises and aiming drills. As your previous teacher requested so in his notes, I will also attempt to start teaching you the art of senbon. An actual taijutsu style will be postponed until you start at the Academy."

Despite myself, I begin to feel the stirrings of excitement at all these new things.

Ko feels entirely different. "Why don't I get all these new exercises?" he complains, again in a way that seems like he's purposefully trying to antagonize the teacher.

Ebisu's voice drops some of its formality and becomes almost greasy. "Your body is still a bit underdeveloped yet, Honored Grandson. If you work hard and follow all my instructions, however, you might even start chakra training sooner than the... Honored Granddaughter... did." I think only I may have noticed the slight pause before the title.

* * *

I run in the front door, waving goodbye to Cat-Megumi as she leaves the mansion grounds. I am just back from another dancing session, flush with the excitement and relief I've come to associate with the dancing phase of my etiquette lessons. I sprint past Aya, who is polishing the hall floor. "Hi, Aya!" I shout as I go sliding past.

"Be careful, Naruto-san, don't slip!" she calls back.

I run upstairs, ducking my head into Ko's room as I pass. "I'm back, Ko! Let's go outside, okay?"

He looks up, the bored, sullen, lonely expression disappearing from his face in a cloud of excitement. He nods eagerly.

I go upstairs to gather my gardening tools, because I also promised Sanken that I would help him outside today. I fix my tank top and put my hair up in a ponytail, then I join Ko to leave for the mansion's grounds.

It is a bright, sunny day, with a cool breeze marking the beginning of spring. Sanken is walking out of his cottage door as we run around to the back of the grounds. "Flower season!" I call out to him, my voice carrying along on the wind.

"More work for me!" Sanken calls back, but his expression is pleased as he gazes out over the grounds in anticipation of the beauty to come. Sanken loves more than anything to see his work bear fruit. I think I can understand that. I can't wait to see my trellis once all the plants on it really start to grow and bloom. Finally, all my painstaking hours will really pay off.

Ko bumps my arm, his face shining with a new excitement. "Asuma-jii's coming over today, right?" he asks. He's been saying that _all morning._

"For the tenth time today, _yes," _I reply. "Aya will probably show him out here while we're out here."

He beams in satisfaction, not looking at all abashed about his nagging, then takes my hand and pulls me toward the big oak tree by the pond.

There is sunlight on my face, the wind in my hair, and I'm starting to think I might be okay after all.

I'll survive.

* * *

Author's Notes: Another transition chapter. Not much going on, just Naruto recuperating and adjusting. Not much Asuma in this chapter either. Don't worry, he will actually have _dialogue _next chapter.

I don't like this chapter very much. Maybe it's because nothing's going on in it? Maybe it's because I'm not in a very good mood in general? I'm not sure. I do tend to be more critical of myself when I'm in a bad mood... whatever.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	14. Chapter 13

_Chapter Thirteen_

Ebisu... sensei?... spends the next couple of weeks focusing entirely on my chakra exercises.

He leaves Ko to his physical training exercises, choosing instead to stand over me as I sit cross-legged below him. He is putting me through an exercise that is meant to help me find my chakra and realize its presence inside of me. I am to concentrate inwardly, as I would during meditation, feeling each of my body parts in turn. My bones. The blood running through my veins. He says right around these blood vessels, when I concentrate, I should feel something else... like a spark shooting through me. That will be my chakra.

"Anyone with any amount of natural chakra talent," he tells me from high above, "should be able to do this." He looks down his nose at me, as if to say he doesn't think I will.

Determined to prove him wrong, I spend much time reaching inside myself to feel my chakra, but for a long time I don't find anything. After the first few days, I feel worried enough to mention it to Jiji.

"My taijutsu katas are alright," I tell him. "My aim with kunai and shuriken is getting very good. I can do the physical exercises fine. But I can't feel my chakra, even though I know from reading right where it's supposed to be." My voice is frustrated.

He gives me his patient smile. "It's not a matter of knowledge, Naruto-chan. It's a matter of instinct."

"So I don't have any instincts?" I ask despairingly.

"Not yet. Not all instincts are natural." His tone suggests that he's being enigmatic on purpose. I give him a look of confusion and annoyance. He laughs at my expression. "Trust me," he says, "it will come with time. It always does."

But for a long time, it does not come. Ebisu's speeches to me get longer and more patronizing as, session after session, I still feel nothing. And yet, every time he looks over to Ko, his gives one of his self-satisfied smiles and says, "Excellent, Honored Grandson! Just keep following my shortcuts!" Which is ironic, because he didn't actually teach Ko most of it.

Ko usually blows Ebisu a raspberry whenever he says something like this. ("It's important to always respect your elders, Honored Grandson!" Ko's second raspberry is even louder.)

But for almost a week, nothing good is said to me. I make no progress, and Ebisu doesn't seem willing to teach me anything else until he's satisfied that I can feel my chakra.

Finally, one afternoon, it happens.

I reach inside myself at the beginning of one session, going through the same procedures as always, feeling each part of my body in turn from my head down. I go past skin, bone, blood... and then there should be chakra. But there's nothing. An empty space, a black hole, a zero. Deep and impenetrable, just as it always is.

_I'm never going to get this._

Frustration and despair make my emotions swell inside me, push me onward desperately. I _am _going to get this, I am! I need it. I need it to be strong. I need it to do everything I want to do.

_I will be strong._

**_How strong?_**

_The strongest._

And then, suddenly, something inside me just... clicks.

Abruptly, incredibly, I can feel everything. All of the incredible, high-powered electricity shooting through my body at speeds I'd never even thought possible. Pounding through me, pumping my body with life and nourishment and power and... _there's so much of it. _It's like I've found a hidden sea, an ocean, deep inside me, and its force is so strong. So much stronger than I am, I realize. The thought is humbling.

And then it's _too _strong. It's a hurricane, a gale force wind, a giant whirlpool - _Uzumaki _- pushing up through me and sucking up everything in its path. It's pushing past my defenses, pushing up through me and _I can't stop it, _and then it's entered my mind and I feel like I'm **on fire** and underneath it all...

It's exhilerating. Intoxicating. I will never be able to unfeel this. I don't want to.

Nothing can compare to it.

* * *

When I open my eyes again, I am lying on my back, staring at the training chamber ceiling.

I am lightheaded and dizzy. Little flashes of color explode here and there in my vision. There is a kind of ringing in my ears. I feel... changed, somehow.

It takes a moment for the memories to come back, but when they do, I gasp and sit up sharply.

Ebisu and Ko are all the way across the training chamber, as far from me as possible. Ko is pushed back behind Ebisu, almost like he is being shielded, and Ebisu has a kunai out. He stares at me guardedly from across the room, not relaxing his stance. There is hesitation in his face, but the fear in Ko's eyes, peeking out at me from behind Ebisu's body, shakes me more.

"What happened?" I ask, confused and afraid for reasons I could never have explained.

"... Blue chakra exploded out around you," Ebisu tells me after a moment, still carefully guarded and solemn. All self-satisfaction is gone. "But then the chakra turned red and became... heavy and volatile, for a moment. It was sucked back into your body, but I was not sure if you would be... yourself." His stiff, stilted explanation bewilders me for a moment, and then I realize what he's really saying. I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

_Kyuubi._

Kyuubi's chakra... it has to be red.

"Nee-chan?" Ko's voice is unusually small and timid. "Nee-chan, what was that? What happened to you?"

I realize for the first time that Konohamaru is the only member of the family who still doesn't know about Kyuubi. The thought had never occured to me before.

It strikes me as unfair.

Scared, but determined, still riding on the coast of exhileration from a few moments earlier, I look him in the eye and say, "I have a monster inside me. A monster that I have to keep locked away."

"H-Honored Granddaughter..." Ebisu begins frantically, looking a cross between panicked and outraged. "I must insist that the Honored Grandson not hear such..."

"He's my brother," I interrupt firmly, looking him right in the eye. "Do you really think he doesn't deserve to know?"

"Know what?" Ko says eagerly, looking from one to the other with more bravery. Ebisu opens his mouth, and then slowly closes it again.

I take that as assent. I turn to Konohamaru without another word. "Years ago, a monster called Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked this place..." I begin, remembering Jiji's words to me when I first met him two years ago.

I take a deep breath, and start the story that is the beginning of my everything.

Ko slowly trails forward to sit before me, wide-eyed and riveted by the story.

Ebisu stands off to the side, impotent, watching us inscrutably.

* * *

Asuma-jii comes over to visit the next day.

He sits outside with us, as he usually does, preferring it to the inside of the mansion. The air is warm today, and it smells of summer. The scents of grass and different kinds of flowers, the sounds of little bugs crawling around in the grass below me and of distant birds landing in trees and of a light breeze creeping through the leaves, now so normal to me, seem unusually powerful today. Asuma-jii's huge, strong, warm, bearlike form sits between us in the middle of the back gardens as we tell him what's been going on.

"I felt my chakra yesterday," I tell him proudly, beaming. "My very first time! Ebisu says I should be able to start chakra control exercises now. He says he's going to let me try the tree-climbing or wall-climbing exercise. He showed me that it lets you walk up the wall and onto the ceiling, and it looks _so_ cool! I'm starting it on Monday." I am glad to finally be moving on to something else.

"Hey, nice job, Hime!" he says immediately, lunging in for a big hug. His beard tickles my chin and I can smell the remnants of cigarette smoke on his breath. "So you got it, huh? That's a big step. Not many can make it before the Academy."

"But I can," I say with satisfaction, feeling very good about myself.

"Yeah," he says, dark eyes glinting with amusement. "I just bet you can."

Ko bumps into his other side, vying for attention. "And, and! Guess what?"

"_What_?" Asuma-jii imitates, drawling.

"I learned about the...!" I give him a warning look over Asuma-jii's shoulder, a reminder of what I told him. He lowers his voice to a whisper that he seems to feel is quiet, childish face screwing up conspiratorially. "_The really cool, scary thing Nee-chan has inside her that no one's supposed to talk about."_

Asuma-jii raises an idle, curious eyebrow for a moment, and then his eyes slowly widen in realization. His face turns serious, and his head whips around to look at me. "You told him about the...?" he begins, unusually grave.

"Yes," I cut him off. "And Jiji said it was okay, so don't worry about it." Jiji was panicked too, when he first found out, but when he realized Ko just seemed to think it was cool that his sister had an all-powerful demon inside of her, he relaxed and admitted reluctantly that it _was_ my choice who to tell and who not to. That didn't stop the lecture on the merits of caution afterward... but that's totally beside the point. The point is, he said it was okay in the end. "Besides, Ko knows not to tell anyone. _Right, Ko?_" I give him a Look.

Ko gulps at my expression and nods frantically. "Zip the lips," he repeats enthusiastically, mimicking what I said to him before.

"No matter..." I start, and wait for him to finish.

"No matter how cool it is," he sighs, rolling his eyes. I can't help but smile at his pouting expression. I reach over and flick his ponytail, and he gives me a dirty look. He sticks his hand out to flick mine back, but I duck my head out of the way before he can. "Nee-chan!" he complains.

"Well, be faster next time!" I grin and stick my tongue out at him. He growls and shoots his hand out at me, but I just duck again. "Still faster than you!" I say teasingly.

"Someday!" he shouts, giving my head one last desperate, futile swipe.

Asuma-jii is laughing at us. "You two are a trip," he says, shaking his head languidly.

"Up the stairs," we return in chorus.

"So," I change the subject, shifting around to look at him, "what's going on with you?"

"Well..." he glances up at the blue sky hanging above the gardens, "I've been thinking about re-joining Konoha's shinobi corps."

There is a brief moment of silence... and then an explosion of noise. "REALLY?" I shout excitedly, sitting up straighter. "You're staying?"

"You have to, you have to, you have to!" Ko shouts, jumping up excitedly to pull at his arm.

Asuma-jii laughs again. "Well, I couldn't just leave you two alone with all these stiff-necks, could I?" he says gruffly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

I beam at him. Then a sudden thought occurs to me. "Does Jiji know about this?" Ko quiets down to hear, too.

"No way," he chuckles fervently. "And I'd like to keep it that way."

I frown at his tone. I still don't get why Asuma-jii and Jiji don't get along. "Look," he sighs, catching my expression. "Let's just keep it a surprise, okay? I want to see the look on his face when I suddenly show up and register out of the blue."

Ko gasps, eyes shining excitedly again. "So it's like a surprise party." I smile too, liking that idea.

"Yeah," Asuma shrugs, "like a surprise party."

I feel more anticipation at this. I like surprises.

* * *

I gaze down at my kimono, smoothing the lovely silk out under my hands, as I wait with Jiji in the entrance hall.

We are holding another dinner party for the Fire Lord and his wife, along with many assorted dignitaries and nobles that they have brought with them for the start of another summer's stay in Konoha. Jiji has explained to me that even if they had wanted to call on us before this, they could not have. It is not considered polite to call on a person or request that they host an event, unless they specifically invite you to one, for a certain number of months after the death of a close member of their family.

Now, however, that grace period is up for us, and just in time for the Fire Court's annual summer trip to Konoha. They have a huge, magnificent building with an excellent set of richly furnished and well staffed rooms that takes up almost an entire block of the Official Guests' District all to themselves, reserved specifically for members of the Fire Court. I have not been inside it, of course, for it is closed down when no one of the Fire Court is using it. I have only heard of it when Jiji talks about it in our nightly lessons, or when Ino and Sakura occasionally sigh dreamily over how incredible it must be to stay there.

Naturally, they expect great treatment when they come over here too, so all the usual preparations must be made. The dining room is set, the grounds and entrance hall have been cleaned, the sitting room has been dusted, and we are waiting in the entrance hall for the guests to arrive. Aya is standing right by the front doors in preparation.

I am now initiated in wearing kimono, and must always wear it to formal events from now on. A new kimono was bought for me for this event, as apparently, a funeral kimono shouldn't be worn to a dinner party. I don't understand why I can't wear it as long as it's a pretty kimono, but Jiji and Aya insist that it can't be done, so I guess it can't be done.

My new kimono is made in beautiful blues and greens, with little colorful seastars and seashells and sea flowers embroidered in a pattern all over it. The obi is silvery-white. I think this new kimono is gorgeous, and am glad I didn't protest too much over the wearing of another one.

In fact, I am finding that I like kimono much more than I like frilly western dresses. Kimono are so much easier to move in, so natural and smooth and satiny over a body. They seem to bring out all the right lines in the human figure, and have an innate kind of grace to them. Once their heaviness is gotten used to, they really are very comfortable to wear. If I'd had my way, I would have learned about kimono long before this.

My hair, I am satisfied with as well. I am always very careful with my hair. I could wear jeans all the days of my life, my clothes could all be casual and ragged and grass-stained, my hands could be rough and callused, I could own not a single piece of make-up. What would I care? But I love my hair. I could not stand a life with short hair, or hair that lacked the proper care. So I am very careful to brush it to gleaming perfection this evening, and then to pin it up in just the right way, with my special blue, jeweled-flower comb, tying it all up in the complex twist that Ume showed me at the back of my head.

Aya helped me put on little touches of make-up at the end, nothing too obvious, and slipped a pair of soft silk slippers onto my feet. In the end, even she was satisfied with my appearance.

My head shoots up as a knock resounds on the thick, heavy oak doors.

Aya pulls the doors open to let in the crowd of guests, bowing and saying all the right words. My eyes widen in surprise. There are more people than I'd thought there would be, and even a few children among them. All, of course, are dressed in rich and beautiful kimono like mine and Jiji's, only many of theirs seem almost... gaudy. The colors are overly bright, the fashions oddly cut, the fabrics overly shiny. I prefer the more reserved, tasteful kimono that Jiji and I are wearing, and I prefer my simpler head-dress and make-up to the slathered make-up and huge, bejeweled bodies of many of the women and girls.

Bowing, Aya takes the guests' shoes where they slip them off in the entrance hall and provides them with more soft silk slippers, which are kept in the linen closets for such occasions. They never even glance at her as she speaks, continuing on through the entrance hall to Jiji with great pomp and dignity.

And a lot of what Shigeru-jii would have called "head-meet-ass arrogance." I have to force my serious face not to break at this thought.

They come over to stand before Jiji in groups. He and the group leader bow ever so slightly to each other, and then the leader of the group introduces themselves and all the other members of the group. The other members of the group bow deeper to Jiji. Jiji then gestures me forward and introduces me formally as "The Surrogate Granddaughter of the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure." I say the official, formal greeting Jiji taught me. I bow straight at the waist just like he taught me to. Then I stand back politely and let Jiji invite that group into the dining room, where Aya is at the door to place them in their seating arrangements. Then the next group comes forward and the process repeats.

It's very boring. So many names of official members of the Daimyo's court and family members and titles are all crowded into my head at once that I know I won't remember all of them. Finally, it's over and we walk into the dining room behind the last group.

The long, polished table is decorated with specially crafted and finished chopsticks, and the finest silverware and dishes. Food that Aya has been preparing for days beforehand is laid out scrumptiously, smelling delicious, on set places along the table. Jiji goes to the head of the table as the host. I go to a place near the end of the table with the other children, in between a dark-haired girl a few years older than me in an extravagant pink kimono that hurts my eyes to look at and a pale brunette boy about my age in a more modest forest-green kimono.

No one is sitting yet. Everyone stands behind their chairs, waiting for the signal. Jiji and the tiny, stick-skinny, fish-faced Fire Daimyo glance at each other, and then carefully sit down at exactly the same time. After that, everyone else sits down and the food starts to be passed around. A low buzz of chatter fills the room.

There is an awkward silence among the children for a moment as we all gaze at each other, and then the older girl next to me pointedly turns and starts talking to another girl there, whom she clearly already knows well. After this, all the children seem to relax and just start talking to the people they know, ignoring the ones they don't. This means that I don't have anyone to talk to. No one knows me. It's like Ino's seventh birthday party all over again, only without anyone like Sakura to bring me into the fold.

I sit there, feeling lost for a moment, and then I notice the boy next to me, the one my age. He's not saying anything to anyone. His clothing is more modest than most here, his dark brown hair is neatly swept back, and his pale, soft, childish face is almost as awkward as I feel. With some sympathy, I wonder if he had any more choice in doing this than I did.

"Hello," I say. He blinks and looks up to me, startled. "My name is Naruto. I'm the Sandaime's granddaughter." I'm not sure why, but it feels necessary to add that last part here, in such a setting.

His eyes gaze back down toward his plate. "Katsuya," he says in a quiet, reserved voice. "My father is the Official Head of Daimyo-sama's Treasury." His voice carries a slight, formal accent to it that I am beginning to realize is a mark of someone who grew up in the capital.

"Well... it's nice to meet you," I tell him.

"Likewise," he answers, still just as quietly. He doesn't look up from his plate.

There is an awkward silence.

I wonder for a moment if he just doesn't want to talk with me, but then I glance back at the other children around us. None of them talk to him at all, despite the fact that they grew up in the same environment. Maybe he is always this reserved.

"Why don't you try this?" I ask after a moment, handing him a fish dish where it is sitting next to me on the table. "It's one of Aya's best."

"Oh. Thank you." He sounds surprised that I would say something else to him, and genuinely sincere. Finally, after another moment, "... Who is Aya?" he asks.

"Oh, she's our maid! The one from the entrance hall? Yeah, her. She's not usually like that, of course. Normally, she's kind of scary."

"Your maid frightens you?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, not like that. She just has a forceful personality. She can tell someone off like nobody's business; it's actually cool to watch. And she loves playing dress-up with me." I grin, rolling my eyes. "Aya likes my clothes more than I do."

"You talk to your maid?" He sounds endlessly surprised.

"Of course. She's nice to talk to. Why, is there something wrong with that?" I challenge, eyes flashing dangerously, watching his reaction.

His eyes widen. "N-no, of course not!" he says hurriedly. "I just..." He shrugs, smiling slightly nervously. "I don't know many who do, that's all."

"I love talking to my servants. Sometimes they're more fun to talk to than the people they work for!" I add brightly. "I mean, even Sanken (that's our gardener), he..."

And I'm off, talking about Aya and Sanken, and even Shigeru-jii a little. I talk about my brother, Konohamaru, and my knew trainer, Ebisu, and my life here. Katsuya doesn't seem bothered by the fact that I do most of the talking. He seems sort of awkward, as I thought originally, like he doesn't like crowds and he isn't good with conversation. He's very nice, though. Interesting to talk to, but in a completely different way than Ino's friends, Chouji and Shikamaru, were. I learn a little bit about him: that he likes to read and we like a lot of the same books, and that his father wishes he had a better aptitude for math and finance.

We are only interrupted a couple of times, by adults at the other end of the table. They smile indulgently, asking me over the chatter things like how old I am and what I'm learning in my studies, and then go back to the adults and completely ignore me once they have the information they need. I'm still surprised, though. In our more private, previous dinners with them, the Fire Daimyo and his wife never actually spoke to me. Maybe not everyone from the Court is like that.

I still don't like the whole affair too much. Judging from Katsuya's shy, understanding smile, he doesn't either.

* * *

The music from the CD player in the corner pounds through me, washing across my body and flowing out through my movements. The steps of the dance Takara-sensei has been teaching us, now so familiar to me through long weeks of practice, glide out one after the other almost effortlessly. I concentrate more on the emotion, the feeling, the gestures and uniqueness, I'm putting behind them, than the steps themselves. I am in a peaceful, happy frame of mind today, a frame of mind I haven't had in a long while. My peace and subtle joy suit this song, for it is much like that, a peaceful tune, not bright and happy, but bringing a kind of slow, beautiful joy to all who hear it.

I tilt my head back with my movements, close my eyes and smile, _feel _my body twist and turn and step with grace. Dancing grace.

I think of the coming summer and of what the garden will look like during it, of the bugs and butterflies that will be crawling and flying around, of the sun in my face, of the plants and flowers in full bloom, of the birds and the wind above and around me. I imagine lying in the soft grass of the gardens, all warm and naked, nature playing all around me, a fluttering feeling inside me.

I think of the merry crackle of the mansion's library fire, of the deliciously long shadows on its walls and bookshelves in the evenings, of the smell of ink and the rustle of turning pages, of the orange glow around the beautiful stained glass lamp in front of me, of the smell of wood smoke coming from Jiji's pipe. I imagine his patient, steady, wise voice as he teaches different things to me, his leathery old hand cradled gently over mine as he points to words and helps me turn pages, the unraveling of knowledge and all the amazing stories of the world laid out before me.

I think of my brother's loud and strident laughter, of the brightness in his chocolate eyes when he's happy, of his childish pout when he's not, of the determined way his face screws up when he's trying to beat me at something physical, of his panting breath and quick footsteps beside me as we train together, of the burning in my own body when I know I'm pushing myself to be better, of the intoxicating feeling of chakra flowing through me. I imagine my bare feet hitting the cool mats as I sprint down the training chamber, feeling like I'm flying, Ko right behind me, and then that perfect moment of absolute exhileration as I lift my face to the air and breathe deeply...

The music suddenly ends. The spell is broken. I stop and my head lifts up.

At the front of the room is Takara-sensei, along with a tiny little woman. She is innately slim and graceful, and she has short, dark brown hair and a round, firm-chinned face. Her expression is blank and uninterested as she gazes around at us.

This is the head of dance at the Kabaji Theater. She has come to inspect Takara-sensei's older students and pick out any she feels have potential for her beginning dance classes at the Kabaji, which start in the fall, and are arranged after school from 3:30 to 4:30 PM three times a week. Many girls in class, including Sakura, were excited by this. Apparently, it is a well-known fact that all of the dance students of the Kabaji also dance in all the major festivals every year. It is a great honor to any girl to have the classes recommended to you.

That _would_ be cool, but I will admit I felt no huge amount of enthusiasm when I heard the idea. I am going to be a shinobi, after all, not a dancer. As an extra activity, dancing would be neat to try, but this sounds more serious than that.

Besides, the woman has just stood in the corner and observed us neutrally all period. I eventually forgot she was there.

Now Takara-sensei claps her hands and says, "Alright, everyone! Two students have been chosen!"

There is a low buzz of excitement throughout the room, that is quickly silenced as the woman steps forward. Even Takara-sensei looks eager, leaning forward ever so slightly. The woman lifts her finger and points toward the back... right at me.

"That one," she says simply. Then she points next to me. "And that one."

Stunned, I look over to see quiet, dark-haired little Chichi... from my group in the kimono-wearing session. She looks just as surprised as I am, her eyebrows lifted up over dark eyes. I don't think I've ever seen her look surprised before, I realize dimly.

"Ma'am," Takara-sensei's voice breaks in hurriedly. I glance over to see that her face is suddenly frozen over... blank. "Ma'am, the blonde one is starting at the rigorous Shinobi Academy next semester. She is also the Sandaime's granddaughter. The other will start at the Academy next year, and is a member of the esteemed Aburame clan."

"I am aware of that, Takara-san," the woman returns, looking her in the eye, a hint of steel in her quiet voice. There is no doubt as to who holds the authority here. "I believe it is the candidates' choice whether or not they join my dancing troupe next semester. I have merely given them the opportunity to do so."

Takara-sensei has to step back at this, for there is nothing she can say.

All I feel is surprise.

Later, as I am standing with Cat-Megumi, Sakura and Ino rush over to me, squealing. There is a mix of awe and jealousy on Sakura's face, and impressed triumph on Ino's. "I can't believe you _got in!"_

"Neither can I," I say honestly. "But I wonder why Takara-sensei seemed to feel that Chichi and I shouldn't dance because we come from shinobi families?"

"Because most from prominent shinobi families don't do anything else," Ino replies, more seriously. "They remain true to the shinobi profession... 'pure' is the word some use." Catching my worried expression, she adds, "Don't worry. Only the really old-fashioned and really stuck-up believe things like that anymore. I'm sure your grandfather will let you join. The question is, are you going to?" She gives me one of her calculating looks.

"... I don't know," I admit.

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura breaks in incredulously. "You're actually thinking about _not taking it?_"

"I don't know if I'll have time with all my Academy work," I say defensively.

"You will." All three of us look up at Cat-Megumi's voice. She gazes down through her mask at us. "You'll have time for other things in your life besides the Academy and training. In fact, as you get farther into the shinobi career, it's recommended. I know you already read a lot, and you like gardening. Dancing could be another extra hobby."

"You really think I should do it?" I ask in surprise.

"Definitely," all three answer fervently in unison.

I think of that huge stage I admired at the Kabaji, thrilling and yet terrifying. I think of always watching the beautiful festival lights and shows from a distance. I think of the villagers' changing opinions of me. I think of the fact that I'm trying to impress them.

But in the end, in my heart, all I really have to think about is how much I love music and dancing.

I wonder what my family will think of this...

* * *

Author's Notes: I decided to make Chichi an Aburame. It just seemed to fit her. Originally, I know it would seem weird for an Aburame to dance onstage in kimono, but the Aburame also always impressed me as the type to value tradition and culture. Besides, they can't all be Shino and Shibi carbon copies.

This is really the last filler chapter. This entire first unit has introduced Naruto's life as it is when she first enters the Academy and the shinobi world. Now, next chapter, she'll be preparing for the Academy (and getting a good start on that chakra control exercise; Ebisu got scared and decided to start _big_), and the chapter after that is probably when she'll enter the shinobi world. She'll be re-introduced to Shikamaru and Chouji, and with Shino's cousin hanging around and Naruto's love of bugs, it's only a matter of time before they meet each other as well.

Hinata will not be there at first. In fact, not for a couple of chapters. I always got the impression that her father only gave up on her a little way through the first year, and as a result, she came late to the Academy. That's probably why she had Kurenai as a chuunin escort.

Don't worry, though. Hinata will play an important part eventually.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	15. Chapter 14

_Chapter Fourteen_

"Ebisu?" I say one day as I walk into the training chambers.

"_Sensei_," he adds insistently, as has become his habit.

"Ebisu-_sensei_," I emphasize, rolling my eyes. Ko snickers and Ebisu scowls at me. "I was wondering when I was going to start training with senbon?"

He gives me a long, considering look. I wait for him to say something like "next year." Secretly, I think Ebisu might enjoy disappointing me. I wouldn't put it past him.

"When the Academy begins," he finally replies, and my head shoots up to stare at him. _Only a month? Really?_ He gives me a hard stare, as if daring me to accuse him of being reasonable with me. I duck my head instead to hide my excited grin. One more month!

"Lucky," Ko mutters next to me.

I smile at him. "I know," I answer back, and he pouts.

"Nee-chan..." he whines, glaring at me.

"Enough!" Ebisu commands, startling us both. Ko turns his glare to Ebisu instead. Ebisu is used to this by now, so he ignores it. "I need you to demonstrate for me how far you have come in the wall-climbing exercise," he says to me, standing back to observe.

Obligingly, I take a couple of steps back, crouch down a little, and take a great running leap toward the wall. Chakra rushes toward my feet in a controlled, electrifying burst and I start climbing up the wall. I go up farther and farther, trying to regulate my breathing and my chakra at the same time... I haven't stopped running... I'm almost there... I'm not going to make it to the top...

Yes, I am. I control the whirlpool inside me. Not the other way around.

_And someday, I'll be able to control my inner demon as well._

I push myself up farther, farther than I thought I could go... and my feet just hit the ridge between wall and ceiling.

Immediately, I jump away and land neatly back on the ground, my feet tingling, my breathing short and exhilerated. Ko whoops and start clapping, and even Ebisu doesn't look dissatisfied. That's a rare thing for him.

"... You have great will power," he finally says, and we both turn to stare at him. It's the first compliment he's ever paid me, and he even sounded honest when he said it.

"Now," he tells me imperiously, "you are ready for the Academy."

* * *

"This is the end of our time together this year," Takara-sensei says with grandeur as she stands in front of the entire girl's class. "And for many of you, it is the end of our time together for good." Her eyes slide over Ami and her friends, over me and Sakura and Ino. "You have all learned much during your time with me, and come far. I hope and trust you will all continue to grow into fine young ladies." She smiles. "For the final time... you are dismissed."

All the girls erupt into unladylike cheers and charge (very gracefully) toward the door. Takara-sensei watches in resigned amusement, and I think that in the end, she might not have turned out too badly herself after all.

As I head toward the door with Sakura and Ino, I hear her voice call out, "Aburame Chichi! Uzumaki Naruto!"

It must have something to do with dancing the coming year. "I'll meet you outside," I tell my friends, and head back toward sensei up at the front.

Chichi is already standing there quietly. She nods to me in greeting as I walk up, and I nod back. "Here are your certificates of acceptance into the Kabaji School of Dance," Takara-sensei says, handing us two certificates with beautiful, ornate lettering on them. She tells us the date of the first lesson, shortly after the school term comes in, and congratulates us.

As we leave, Chichi turns to me and bows formally. "As the only two from our graduating class to continue on into the next tier, it only makes sense that we assist each other in any way possible. I hope that we can continue to work together and benefit from each other under a successful partnership," she says in her solemn voice.

I wonder briefly if that's Chichi's way of saying she wants to be friends.

"Of course!" I reply, smiling cheerfully and giving a brief bow myself. Then I run over and hug her. "Let's be friends!"

Chichi stiffens up for a moment, looking stunned. Then she slowly relaxes and hugs me back. "Very well," she says slowly, "friends."

We break apart, and I smile and wave at her as I leave. She stares after me like she's never seen anything quite like me before. I wonder why. All I did was hug her. Hasn't she ever had a proper friend?

* * *

I stand around and talk with Sakura and Ino after class is over, Cat-Megumi standing a respectful distance away.

"I can't believe it's over," I confess. "It seems like it went by fast."

"I'm glad it's over," Sakura says, looking genuinely relieved. "All that worrying over whether I'd be any better at the next unit then I was last year..."

"Well, _I'm _glad it's over because it means I'm moving on to the Academy!" Ino declares, tossing her hair behind her.

I grin, feeling excitement myself at this. "It's going to be amazing," I agree.

"Yeah," Sakura pipes up, to our surprise, "it is." She beams at our stunned expressions. "I've been wishing I could tell you for weeks, but I wanted to surprise you!" she tells us excitedly. "I'm going to the Academy too!" She and Ino squeal in twin delight, and I leap over to give her a huge hug.

"Congratulations!" I say, genuinely happy. Both of my friends will be going on to the Academy with me.

Then a thought occurs to me. "What did your parents think?" I know how protective Sakura's parents are.

Her smile fades a little. "They refused, but then I pulled the 'you're ruining my dreams before I even get to try them' card. They signed me up after that, but now they think they're just indulging a phase." She gives us a small smile. "But I don't mind... I want to follow you two."

We smile at her.

Later, as Cat-Megumi's taking me home through the trees, I ask her what she thinks of Sakura joining the Academy as well.

"What do you mean?" she asks, not pausing in her strides.

"Well... I've read that some are of the opinion that only children raised by shinobi should join the shinobi corps. Do you think that?" I ask, genuinely curious. "That Sakura will never be as good a kunoichi because she was raised by small-time civilian merchants instead of shinobi?"

It's a while before Cat-Megumi replies. "... I believe," she finally says, "that shinobi talent is all a matter of will-power." I am startled. Her words reminds me of Ebisu's compliment to me a couple of days ago. "If Sakura wants to be a talented kunoichi bad enough, and is willing to work hard enough for it, she will be.

"... But," Cat-Megumi adds, "she will never have enough determination to be great if she is merely following someone else. A true shinobi forges their own path."

I think about this all the way back to the mansion.

* * *

The first time I ever go shopping - fittingly, perhaps - Aya is the one who takes me.

We walk through the crowded city streets of Konoha center, taking in all the glares and all the neutral looks, but purposefully not acknowledging any of them. Cat-Megumi has been hired out specially for today, and she follows at a distance behind us, quietly conspicuous. I have never been in any clothing or equipment stores before, but Aya seems to know her own way, her short, business-like strides and determined face giving me confidence.

"Aya," I say as I walk quicker to keep up, "how do we know all the storeowners we visit will let me in?" I have been worried about this for a while.

"You are the Hokage's granddaughter," she says firmly, fixing her purse primly over one shoulder. "They may not want to, but I'd like to see them try to sell you anything less than the best." Then she suddenly smiles wickedly. "But I've done better. I've scoped out all the storeowners who would actually appreciate having you in their shops. There's a surprising number of them. We're going to visit them all as a gesture of good will."

_I feel tired already,_ I think forebodingly.

Sure enough, we visit about twenty stores in all, and we pick out something to buy from each one. I get shinobi outfits from seven different stores, shinobi equipment from five, and regular school supplies from eight. In each individual store, we meet the owner personally, and I bow and smile at them and answer all their questions nicely, no matter how tired or cranky I might inwardly feel. On one hand, I'm very happy they're all so friendly to me. On the other hand... it's so _boring._

As far as outfits go, I end up getting mostly shinobi sandals, dark shirts, and tough dark pants. There are a lot of kunoichi dresses and skirts I'm directed to, but who would really want to do taijutsu in a skirt? It sounds like a recipe for embarrassment or disaster to me. I actually like the bright colors the kunoichi dresses offer, but Cat-Megumi recommends to me quietly that darker colors are usually better for a shinobi, and that I should get used to working out in them now since they're typically warmer than bright colors.

To make up for it, I also get a few normal shirts and skirts in very bright colors and unique designs.

In addition to shuriken, kunai, and a few more packages of senbon, I also get a lot of storage scrolls so I can store all my equipment in the many baggy pockets my pants carry with little difficulty. I can't wait to learn how to use those. Another thing I can't wait to learn how to use are something I find called "explosive tags" (I slip them in with the rest of my stuff when Aya isn't looking, and I can practically feel Cat giving me a knowing look through her mask). A few spools of ninja wire to top it all off, and I'm definitely done in equipment, too.

Compared with that, the rest of the trip is actually pretty dull. I get a black bookbag, along with a lot of pens, pencils, and paper of all kinds, and six different binders and six different textbooks for my "mental" Academy subjects. I find out from Cat-Megumi that in addition to hand-to-hand combat, basic long-distance weaponry, and basic chakra training, I'm going to be learning history, geography, anatomy, basic maths, strategy & team management, and shinobi law & ettiquette.

"That's nine subjects," Aya says in amazement.

Cat-Megumi nods. "They have to do a rotational schedule to teach the students everything they need to learn in four years. It's quite rigorous."

"That's ridiculous," Aya replies, doing her typical exasperated eye-roll.

"Not really," I say thoughtfully after a moment. "Some of the classes sound easy, like they just have to make sure all the students know the basics, but you wouldn't really have to study too much for them. I already know a lot of anatomy and shinobi law & ettiquette. I have the basics of history, and I already know basic maths and calculation. Geography doesn't sound too hard, either."

"Not all children have the benefits that you do," Aya says simply. "Most of them haven't been taught by The Professor," she uses Jiji's shinobi title, "and most of them don't have a special jonin tutor to help them with their physical subjects. It's not going to be that easy for a lot of children, Naruto-chan."

As we walk up to the cash register, I wonder if that's why civilian children typically don't do as well at the Shinobi Academy... because children like me have an unfair advantage.

The thought bothers me.

* * *

The sun shines brightly over the Konoha Shinobi Academy as I gaze at it for the first time.

It doesn't look anything like I expected it to. A neat white picket fence wraps around the entire front part of the property. Green grass and ferns and trees are scattered all around the front courtyard. I can see a rope swing hanging from one of the trees right by the picket fence. A neat, paved walkway leads right up to the red double front doors of the building. The building itself is a sprawling, two-story complex painted white, with a flat, open roof.

It looks just like a normal school.

There in front of the red doors is a long table set up for registration, with a few green-vested chuunin instructors sitting at it. A long line of parents with their new students stands, waiting for one of the instructors to be free.

I glance up at Jiji, and he gives me a reassuring smile as he walks through the front gate and toward the table. I follow quickly behind him.

People in line look up and start whispering to each other as Jiji, in his official Hokage robes, approaches them. He stands politely, waiting his turn in line just like an ordinary Konoha citizen, but it doesn't take long for the person in front of him to stand aside and murmur respectfully, "Hokage-sama." The person in front of them follows their lead, and soon the whole line has cleared the way for Jiji to be next. He walks slowly forward, nodding to each person who stood aside in turn. I walk carefully behind him, trying to ignore how people are staring at me even more than they are at Jiji.

Jiji approaches one of the green-vested chuunin instructors, who is staring at the two of us, looking stunned. "I would like to register my granddaughter for the coming school year,"Jiji tells him. His voice is quiet, but there is a hint of steel behind it.

The chuunin stares at me for another long moment, and then seems to shake himself out of his reverie and reaches for a registration form. "Y-yes, of course, Hokage-sama," he says hurriedly, holding out the form and a pen for Jiji to fill out. Jiji takes but a minute or two to fill out the form, and there is silence in the courtyard as he does so. His face perfectly calm as he signs his name, title and all, at the bottom of the paper. Then he hands the pen to me and I put my signature below. He returns the form to the shell-shocked chuunin, thanks him simply, and walks away, me in tow.

I expect us to leave, but instead he pauses in the shade of an overhang, turning to observe the proceedings of the registration booth, which have picked up again with his absence. "... Naruto," he says after a moment, "you may leave my side. I think someone is looking for you."

I give him a confused glance, and he nods toward the line of parents and students. Abruptly, I catch Shikamaru and Chouji in line, gaping at me from their fathers' sides.

I smile brightly. "Shikamaru! Chouji!" I run over to them.

"... What was that?" Shikamaru mutters to me, glancing at Jiji.

"What was what?"

"Everyone expects you to come with one of your servants, and then the Hokage himself comes from his lunch break just to sign you up, giving off enough chakra presence to make the chuunin at the table look like he just got a labotomy," Shikamaru shoots back, turning his stare to me. "That's what. You didn't _notice_?" he adds disbelievingly at my expression.

"I guess I've gotten used to his presence," I reply sheepishly.

Shikamaru shakes his head at me, and Chouji smiles uneasily. "Wow," he says.

I throw up my hands. "Well, I do live around it, you know!" I remind them in exasperation.

"Indeed," Shikamaru's father says unexpectedly from above us, "it's amazing what the body can get used to when it's exposed to it long enough." He turns to Shikamaru, serious-faced. "For example, you've gotten so used to the feeling of my chakra that you haven't noticed I've been pushing it into a shoulder nerve for the past five minutes to make your arm go numb."

There is a moment of silence as Shikamaru's eyes widen and he seems to concentrate on his shoulder. "Tou-san!" he finally shouts, flailing back, and everyone else laughs.

Nara-san turns his sharp dark eyes to me. "It is interesting to finally meet you face-to-face, Uzumaki Naruto-san," he tells me. "I am Nara Shikaku, Head of the Nara Clan."

"And I am Akimichi Chouza, Head of the Akimichi Clan," the huge man next to him booms in a deep voice. "You already know my son."

"It's nice to meet both of you," I say politely. "Thank you for proving my point," I add to Nara-san.

"Anytime," Nara-san says, his eyes glinting mischievously. "My son is quite used to it."

Shikamaru grumbles behind me as Chouji snickers.

* * *

Author's Notes: Mostly getting ready for the Academy this chapter. It's kind of short, but don't worry. Next chapter we actually _start _the Academy period! Her dancing classes will also probably start next chapter.

Does anyone else find it ironic that I'm getting to the Academy just in time for summer?

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	16. Chapter 15

_Chapter Fifteen_

I am wearing dark cargo pants and a thin, long-sleeved black shirt. My kunai and shuriken holster is attached to my right thigh and my equipment pouch is attached to my left hip. My pants pockets are filled with other equipment and scrolls. My new black bookbag is slung over my shoulder, full of pens, pencils, paper, and binders. My long blonde hair has been brushed to gleaming perfection and put up in a high ponytail.

I am ready for my first day at the Academy.

I practically sprint down two sets of stairs and into the wide, echoing, polished entrance hall. I leap the last three stairs to the cold floor, feeling intense, almost exhilarating excitement. It is nothing like entering the etiquette classes a year earlier. There is no nervousness now. I am going to be learning with my friends, going on to achieve my dream of becoming a shinobi! I've never felt better.

I run through the dining room and into the kitchen, following the smell of food, beaming excitedly. "Good morning!" Ko looks up, tousle-haired and sleepy-eyed, from where Aya is setting his oatmeal down in front of him. Usually, I would be up earlier than this, but I spent a long time getting ready and making sure everything was absolutely perfect this morning.

"... Lucky," Ko mutters drowsily for the thousandth time in the past month, dropping his head back onto the table with a dull thunk.

"I know," I answer, for the thousandth time, and sit down in my place at the table, still beaming happily. Aya sets my oatmeal down in front of me (I make a face; it's not exactly my favorite breakfast) and puts a bento next to it. Stuck to the top of the bento is a note in Jiji's hand.

_I had to leave for the office, but I wanted to wish you good luck on your first official day on the shinobi path. May you find great strength, and may the Will of Fire burn bright within you. Remember my words to you. Fight for others, but fight for yourself as well. I am very proud of you._

_Love, _

_Your Grandfather_

Warmth fills me, such great warmth that I have to fight back tears. I concentrate for a moment on the wonderful words. _Proud. Love._

If I don't entirely succeed in holding back my emotions, Aya pretends not to notice.

After breakfast is over, I jump up and ruffle Ko's wild hair before taking up my bookbag. I stuff my bento into it. "Bye, Ko! Bye, Aya!" I say hurriedly.

"Good luck!" Aya calls after me as I run out of the kitchen.

I hurry upstairs for a moment to stow the precious note from Jiji in my dresser with the wrapping paper left over from my birthday. I have decided to keep it. Then I run back downstairs, put on my sandals from the little cubbies next to the door, and go outside.

Cat-Megumi is waiting outside to escort me to my first day at the Academy, but to my surprise, Asuma-jii is there too. "Asuma-jii!" I exclaim excitedly.

"Hime!" he replies, grinning and rushing forward to give me a huge bear hug.

Then he sets me down on the ground, kneels to look me in the eye, and his face become serious. "Now," he says, "I have some very important advice to give you before you brave the wilderness of public education. You ready?"

I nod determinedly. "Okay," he says in his best 'commander' tone. "Some things to keep in mind. The Academy's taijutsu style is the single wimpiest taijutsu style that has ever been created."

I blink.

"No, really, it's horrible," he says dismissively. "Make sure that closet homosexual jonin tutor of yours teaches you another one."

I think I hear Cat-Megumi sigh quietly behind her mask.

"Asuma-jii... what's a homasessual?"

He stares at me for a long moment, frozen. "... Never mind," he finally replies. "Moving on." He ignores it when I glare at him in annoyance. I hate it when grown-ups do that.

"Next: they're going to tell you the way you throw kunai and shuriken is wrong. It's not. Any real shinobi throws kunai and shuriken the way you do, and you can tell them I said that." I feel happier at this, and nod along. "The leaf-cutting chakra exercise they show you is going to suck, and because of this, they're going to tell you that you don't have to master it, you just have to try it. This is because all Academy instructors are secretly sadists. You actually need to learn the exercise at some point in your shinobi career, and the older you get, the more chakra you have and the harder it becomes. So you should master the leaf-cutting exercise while you're in the Academy, but they tell you that you don't have to because they want to punish all the kids who are willing to slack off in their class by letting that exercise come back to bite them in the ass later on. Long story short: just master the damn exercise.

"Always review the newest shinobi creeds you've learned before walking into your law & etiquette class on Fridays. Never volunteer for demonstrations in your anatomy class; it's always either humiliating, uncomfortable, or both. And never, _ever _sit at the front of your history class unless you like being sprayed with spit."

By the end, I'm a little bit more nervous about the Academy then I was before. It sounds kind of... scary.

"Think you've got all that?" he asks, and I nod hurriedly. Asuma-jii smiles at me. "Don't worry, Hime. You'll take 'em by storm. God knows they've probably never met anyone like you before."

I grin at him, relieved. "You bet they haven't!" I declare.

"That's the spirit. So, you ready?" He holds up a hand.

"Ready!" I reply, slapping his hand so hard the sound leaves my ears ringing.

He grins and stands up, shaking his hand. "Save that strength for the Academy."

"Speaking of which, we must leave before Naruto-san is late," Cat-Megumi interjects, slipping between us and scooping me up quickly.

"Bye, Asuma-jii," I say over her shoulder as she starts down the long drive with me. "Bye, Sanken!" I yell to the distant figure already raking the garden in the early morning sun. He stands up for a moment to wave quietly to me. I wave back, beaming.

Then we are through the front gates and Cat-Megumi takes to the trees again, setting me on her back as usual. I sigh happily as I feel the wind rush through my hair. Soon, I'll be able to fly like this myself! The thought excites me.

There is silence for a few moments as the natural green and gold beauty of Konoha forestry flashes past us in a whistling blur. "... I've taken your advice," Cat-Megumi announces after a moment, surprising me a little.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"I have decided to retire from ANBU," she replies, sounding contemplative. "As of two days from now, I will be simply a jonin."

I gasp excitedly. "Really?"

"Really. And not so loud, Naruto-san. You leave my ears ringing."

"Sorry," I reply sheepishly. "But, you're really becoming a jonin? Wow, that's so _cool. _Does that mean I get to call you Megumi now? Does that mean you can come over all the time now?"

"Yes," Megumi replies after a moment. "Yes, I suppose it does."

I squirm happily. This day is turning out to be the best one I've had in a long time! And it's only morning! "Then that means you have to come over and see me on Friday to learn all about my first week!" I declare.

"Does it?" she asks, sounding dryly amused.

"Yes, it does. Because I'm Queen of the Universe and I say so!"

"Well," Cat sighs, "I know I can't disobey the Queen of the Universe. I guess I'll have to come."

"Damn right!" I giggle, pleased with Megumi's joking. Maybe she'll be less... stiff, as a jonin too!

Soon, we are through the forest and then running through the dirt roads of the training grounds and clan compounds. "Why is no one else from around here heading to the Academy?" I call to Cat over the wind.

"Because thanks to your uncle, we're running behind schedule!" Megumi calls back to me.

"Oh. Well, it's not really his fault!" I tell her. "He probably didn't know he was making us behind schedule, because Asuma-jii's always behind schedule! It must have seemed normal to him!"

Then we are passing over the rooftops of Konoha center. I gaze down interestedly at all the people beginning their morning tasks below us, shopping and walking to work and things like that. _I'm becoming a shinobi to protect people like this, _I think.

Then we are landing in front of the Konoha Shinobi Academy.

It is just the same as it was during registration. The morning sun shines brightly down upon the front courtyard, which is absolutely crowded with students. Megumi puts me down in front of the school.

I take a deep breath, and step through the front gates.

_**[Scene Break]**_

_Cat-Megumi_

Naruto seems full of nervous excitement, jittery and smiling, gazing around her.

As we walk through the courtyard, certain adults give her uncertain or suspicious or even cold looks as she passes by. But many do not, and no one dares to actually say anything, not even to each other. No one ever does, after everything that's happened.

I gaze down at her, this shinobi trainee, and I remember the way she looked when I first saw her. The tiny, frightened, still form huddled in my arms. She is barely recognizable as the strong, bright, confident young girl I see walking before me now. _She has come a long way, _I think, and I can't entirely help the swell of pride that I feel.

Finally, Naruto stops and looks up at me as we stand enmeshed within the crowd of students. "Thanks, Cat," she says, for the last time. "But I've got it from here."

She tilts her head confidently, and her bright blue eyes are strong. Her stance is sure. She knows she's ready.

Then her two friends, Sakura and Ino, are running up toward her from behind. "Naruto!" they call out, and she turns to them, grinning. "Over here!" They wave her over to where a group of other young kunoichi-in-training are standing.

She runs off to join them without a moment of hesitation or a backward glance.

I stand there for a while and have a rare moment of reflection on what it means to watch someone grow up.

Then I smile under my mask and turn away. My last report to Hokage-sama as an ANBU will be a good one.

_**[Scene Break]**_

_Naruto_

The girls around me shift and giggle and chat as they wait for class to start. Sakura and Ino are sitting on either side of me, and their female friends from civilian school who have gone on to the Shinobi Academy are sitting around us and behind us. I recognize a few faces from Ino's birthday party all those months ago.

I notice with bemusement that our entire side of the classroom is made up of girls. The other side of the room is for the boys. This was not assigned to us. In fact, the teacher hasn't even come in yet. It's as if, in the nervousness of the first day of school, everyone has decided that there is safety in gender and grouped together defensively with other girls or other boys. As a result, all the rows in front of me are filled with a great mass of chattering little girls. Most of them are wearing the brightly colored kunoichi dresses I rejected at the clothing and equipment stores. I regret that decision now. I was simply relying on Aya's and Megumi's advice, but I realize now that of course the grown-ups wouldn't know what everyone else my age is wearing.

I try to make up for how much my clothing stands out by participating in the talking of the girls around me. It's mostly gossip and fashions and things like that, as before, so I don't care for it too much. But I pretend to be interested anyway because this seems like my chance to be a part of a group of friends, and looking around me, everyone else already seems to have formed theirs'. I doubt any of them would welcome an intruder into their group. So I ask questions about everything they're talking about, and they answer me, eager to talk. I listen with an expression that I hope is less bored than I feel. I wish vaguely that I could sit with Shikamaru and Chouji instead, but they are sitting with a group of boys all the way on the other side of the room, and it feels like a violation of some Code of Social Safety to walk over and ask to sit with the boys.

I glance over when nobody is talking to me, and see the group they're in laughing loudly at something. I bet Shikamaru just made some funny quip again. I wish I could know what they're talking about.

Suddenly, the door to the classroom swings open and the chuunin Academy teacher sweeps into the room. "Quiet down, everyone!" he calls out over the students' voices. I turn to look at him, and so does Sakura beside me. But we're some of the few who do. Many, including Ino and a few other girls behind me, just keep on talking. The chuunin takes a deep breath. "SILENCE!"

Everyone in the room jumps at once at the stern bellow. A thick silence follows.

The chuunin gazes around at us all for a moment. "Anyone caught talking after I give the call for silence in my class will be doing push-ups from this point on," he finally tells us in greeting. "Welcome to the Konoha Shinobi Academy."

_**[Scene Break]**_

The rest of my class time that day continues on in a similar trend.

The teachers seem determined to shake us out of civilian life at once and emphasize to us that we're going into a different setting and lifestyle. They're all very strict today, and they expect complete silence from the students in front of them. Many people who do not follow this rule actually do get push-ups. At least a couple of girls in my group are always talking, and whenever a teacher has to stop a lecture to yell in our general direction, I'm _always_ the one assigned push-ups. Despite the fact that I'm _never _the one talking. So I get assigned push-ups a lot during my first few periods, which isn't horrible so much as it is annoying and frustrating. I have to keep my words from Jiji about _proving them wrong_ and _being the better person _in my mind to stop myself from yelling back at them or protesting in any way. Especially when I know they looked over and could tell who was talking and who was not.

A few of them even give me those cold looks as they snap at me.

Sakura and Ino, who must assume the teachers are being mean to me because of that little white lie I told them about my biological parents, are quick to pick up on what's going on. To my grateful relief, they soon learn to shush everyone else in our corner whenever the teacher starts talking. I shush them too, just to add emphasis.

Other than this brief stumbling block, the morning goes fairly well. The periods are short because of the high number of classes and the fact that they all have to be introduced in one day, so none of us ever stay in one class for very long. Obviously, I can't stay with both Sakura and Ino through all the periods, because we're assigned to different classes at different points throughout the day. But I have most of my classes with at least one or the other, and a couple of different classes I have with both. The one or two periods that I don't have with either Sakura or Ino, I end up having with a few different girls from their general group, and we all stay together because we already know each other.

My five morning classes are history, strategy & team management, basic maths, weapons accuracy, and geography. I don't learn anything about any of the classes because most of the periods are spent handing out syllabuses and going over class rules. In only one class does a teacher purposefully skip over me and not give me a syllabus as he's handing them out. It's my maths teacher, and I pointedly raise my hand and keep it raised until he walks back up to the front of the room. I know he's already seen my raised hand and is ignoring it, but I want to see if he'll continue to ignore me now that he can't use the excuse of not seeing me.

He looks around at everyone. "Does anyone have any questions?" he asks.

I am the only one with a raised hand.

He looks around at everyone carefully, his eyes passing right over me like I'm not even there. I feel a flash of hot anger at this. "Anyone?" he asks again quietly.

Ino has this class with me. She sighs sharply beside me, and then she shouts out, "Sensei, Naruto has a question!" She waves wildly at me and her eyes widen in a 'duh!' sort of way. Everyone else giggles.

Sensei flushes in embarrassment at being made a fool of. "Silence!" he snaps at everyone, and the class quiets down. Then he turns to me, his face pointedly blank. "Yes?" he says in a restrained voice, his jaw clenched and his eyes staring at me with intense dislike.

This man makes look Ebisu look like an exemplary role model and a kind teacher, and I've only been in his class for five minutes.

"I didn't get a syllabus," I tell him, putting down my hand. His jaw clenches further, and then he takes a syllabus off his desk and has it passed down the aisle back to me.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Lunchtime is much better. Ino, Sakura, me, and the rest of the girls sit together under a huge tree off to the side of the front courtyard. Girls trade snacks and things from their bentos with each other. One is braiding another's hair. Ino is complaining loudly about the way the teachers are treating me, and Sakura is talking with me about what our new classes seem like as she pores over the syllabuses we've gotten so far.

Suddenly, a loud shout from a crowd of boys in the middle of the courtyard makes me look up. They have set up a target for kunai and shuriken throwing on a tree in the center of the courtyard, and have all crowded around it. They seem to be watching someone perform, and it has to be a first year, because we're the only ones having lunch at this time. As I watch, there are more shouts of admiration from the crowd as the boy performing apparently does something incredible. Interested, I scan the crowd and (sure enough) see Shikamaru and Chouji standing somewhere near the front.

"Hey, I wonder what's going on over there," I say to Ino and Sakura. They both look over at the crowd, too.

"Why don't we go check it out?" Sakura is the one to suggest. Ino and I agree, so we walk over to the crowd of boys and push our way through until we get to Shikamaru and Chouji.

"Hey, Lazy-Ass, Big Bones," Ino says bossily, putting her hands on her hips as she uses her "nicknames" for Shikamaru and Chouji. "What's going on?"

"See for yourself," Shikamaru replies, nodding toward the center of the crowd.

"Yeah, this guy's really talented," Chouji adds through a mouthful of food from the lunch he's carrying, staring with something close to awe at the boy in the center. Many other boys around me are doing the same. Most of _their _faces are tinged with jealousy, though. Curious now, I finally turn to the boy in the center of the crowd.

"Wow," I hear Sakura whisper beside me.

A tall, pale, dark-haired boy is doing kunai tricks with the target. He flips the kunai around or throws them at odd angles or makes sure they look flashy as he throws them, and they still hit the target every time. The crowd claps or shouts or gasps every time he does something like this, no matter how many times he does it. Clearly, they think it's amazing that he's hitting the target at all.

Soon, Ino and Sakura are gasping and clapping too, looking as starstruck as Chouji, but I personally don't see what's so great about what the boy is doing. He's taking so much time trying to look cool that his throwing speed is horrible. It's not like that will win him any points as a shinobi. I gaze around at the awed people surrounding me in confusion, and then turn to stare at the boy, who is smiling, looking quietly satisfied with himself at all the attention.

I move around to Shikamaru, who I can at least trust to not gasp in awe. That's not really his style.

"I don't see what's so amazing about all this," I mutter to him. He turns to look at me and shrugs, but he seems like he silently agrees. "I mean, I could do better than that..."

"Whoa, hey!" the boy standing on my other side suddenly shouts. I turn to stare at him, and I have just enough time to register a messy mop of brown hair and strange red face tattoos before he continues, even louder, "Uchiha! This girl says she can do better than you!" He grins unrepentantly as I glare at him. I feel mild discomfort as everyone goes quiet and turns to stare at me, including the boy. Uchiha, was it? _Just my luck, probably one of the only ones in my year from a major clan who doesn't already know me._

"... Well," the Uchiha boy finally says, watching me carefully. I realize too late that his eyes are a deep, pupil-less black: the mark of the Uchiha clan. "Why don't you show me?" His words are friendly, but there is a hint of challenge behind them.

There is silence within the crowd as I am momentarily taken aback. I wasn't planning on actually proving my point...

Then I see his expression start to take on a tone of slightly arrogant amusement. He assumes I'm just bluffing. He thinks I don't know anything.

My eyes narrow. _Well, I'll fix that._

I raise my chin up and march firmly over to where he's standing, trying to ignore the nervousness created by the fact that everyone is watching me. The Uchiha boy's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, and then he steps back smoothly and waves his hand toward the target in a 'go ahead' sort of gesture. It might be slightly mocking.

Determined, I turn toward the target. There is only one kunai that hasn't been pulled out of the target yet, and it's set straight in the dead-center. I take the stance, aim for a moment, and then my hands flash toward the kunai holster as fast as they can. They are nothing more than a blur as I whip the kunai toward the target. There is a gray blur, and then two kunai, one directly after the other, land on the target: one a centimeter above the Uchiha's kunai, the other a centimeter below it.

I stand straight and let out a deep sigh of relief. _It worked._

"Whoa..." I hear the boy with the face tattoos mutter behind me. "I barely saw her _hand _move..." There is a stunned silence.

I turn back to the Uchiha boy, who is staring at me with wide eyes, his expression unreadable. "It doesn't matter how good you look if the other person is faster than you," I say simply.

I push through the crowd and leave amid silence, with people staring after me. The Uchiha's black eyes are the most piercing on my back.

_**[Scene Break]**_

My afternoon classes are shinobi law & etiquette, taijutsu, anatomy, and ninjutsu. I don't like my shinobi law & etiquette or taijutsu teachers very much, mostly because they obviously don't like me. Anatomy class, though, is a little better.

The teacher spends the period reviewing anatomy basics to see how much we know. I already know all of it, and the first time she asks the class in general a question, I raise my hand because I know the answer. She stares at me hopelessly for a moment, her eyes desperately scanning the room, as if silently pleading with someone else to know the answer. Nobody does.

"Yes, Uzumaki?" she finally asks shortly, her tone impatient and displeased.

"The tibia and fibula, ma'am," I reply succinctly, and she starts a little and stares at me for a moment.

"... That's right," she finally replies, sounding surprised. She looks at me as though she's never quite seen me clearly before. "Very good, Uzumaki-san." She sounds like she means it.

I don't miss the 'san' at the end.

I smile. _Maybe this will turn out all right._

_**[Scene Break]**_

Author's Notes: Only one new character really introduced in this chapter: Sasuke. But I felt it was kind of important that I differentiate Sasuke before the Massacre with Sasuke after the Massacre (who I actually might find harder to write, despite the fact that he's present throughout most of the series; go figure). Shino will pop up not too long from now, and Hinata will be entering the Academy late, so don't expect her for a while. She's going to play a pretty important part when she actually does get here, though. So not to worry, Hinata fans, it'll be worth the wait.

And more importantly, Naruto enters the Academy! Woot! I put all the people who are very important to her in some part of this chapter, and even made a reference to the beginning of the story, because I wanted to emphasize that this is a pretty big turning point for her. Things are going to start to change from here on out.

On a random side note, keep in mind that when Kiba (and yes, the boy who called her out was Kiba) said he could barely see her hand move, his eyes, as well as the eyes of everyone else in the crowd, were completely untrained to track that kind of thing. So it wasn't quite as great as they're making it out to be. Still, I thought Naruto deserved some kind of significant increase in ability after her year of training. More of this will be seen later.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	17. Chapter 16

_Chapter Sixteen_

I am running through the streets of Konoha center, heading toward the Kabaji Theater. A blur of faces speed by me as I go, but I don't pause long enough to look into any of their expressions. I have to hurry if I want to be on time to my very first dance lesson.

The frantic pace of my journey keeps me from reflecting on the unexpected absence behind me, the way I am flying through the streets instead of across the rooftops. This is my very first time traveling through the village without Cat, but I try not to dwell on it too much. I am kunoichi now. I can travel on my own.

I reach the beautiful, palace-like Kabaji Theater and run around it to the back door. The same elderly woman in pressed blue kimono is sitting there by the door, watching people come and go. She gives me another dignified nod as I go by. I nod back to her, for I know now that she is the owner.

I go on into the same wide, dark backstage area. I hear a buzz of voices from behind the curtain, on the actual stage itself. I slip off my sandals and drop my bookbag by the door, then hurry through the curtain to the front.

Girls close to my age are milling around onstage, chatting idly to each other, waiting for the teacher to show up. I get many curious glances as I go by (clearly, many of them recognize me) but I head straight to the only person I know: Chichi. She is sitting on the edge of the stage, lacing up some soft black dancing slippers. I sit down next to her and take my own out of my pocket.

"Hi!" I greet her cheerfully, smiling.

She blinks up at me for a moment. "... Hello," she finally replies in her quiet, deep voice.

"How was your first day at the Academy?" I ask. The Aburame _is _a shinobi clan, after all.

Chichi shakes her head. "I do not go to the Academy," she replies simply, turning to her slippers again. "I am a year too young."

I think about that for a moment. "So, that means she chose you even though you've only been doing dancing for one unit, right?" Chichi nods, her expression matter-of-fact. "Then that means you must be really talented!" I tell her, smiling.

"I would say the same thing of you," she says, ignoring the compliment. "As you have only been doing dancing for one unit as well."

I consider this. "Yeah, I guess I have," I reply after a moment in mild surprise. I honestly hadn't thought of such a thing. "Well, then I guess we're both just _amazing_!" I grin and shout the last word to the tall, arched, star-spangled ceiling. A few people turn to glance at me, but Chichi doesn't seem fazed.

"We are exceptional by most conventional standards," she agrees, and this time I think I hear a hint of pride in her voice.

Before I can reply, the small, stout, graceful, dark-haired figure of our dance teacher bursts through the curtain in a swirl of movement. "Everybody line up single-file in front of me!" she shouts, coming up to the front. Her voice echoes out across the grand, empty theater.

I am reminded of my first introduction to my taijutsu teacher with a brief flash of foreboding. I mutter this to Chichi as we go to line up, and she replies in an undertone, "The two arts are not so dissimilar."

In other words, "get used to it."

"Now," the teacher says, clapping her hands and standing in front of us. The line of girls falls silent. "My name is Saiko Umane, or Saiko-sensei, and I will be your dancing instructor for the next several months. You are here because I chose you, and _only _because I chose you, as a potential dancer to best represent the rich culture and history of the Fire Country. As you all should be well aware, one of the things the Fire's culture is most renowned for is its special brand of dance, based around refined, graceful, flowing movements and expressive hand and face gestures. People from all over the world come to see the dances and festivals held in Konoha, and to see the annual dance competitions at the capitol. From now on, you will be a part of that, and I expect you to act and practice accordingly. Anyone who thinks they will have a problem with this should leave _now_." She gazes around at us all with controlled aggressiveness, her head held high.

No one moves.

"Good," says, taking a roll of paper out of her pocket without skipping a beat. "Now, the names on this list are of people whose families sent in applications based on information given to each of you individually."

Jiji filled out mine. Asuma-jii was the one who actually handed it in, to my surprise. I'd never heard him offer to help Jiji with anything before. He muttered something about pretty girls at applications booths as he left, though, so it may not entirely have been out of graciousness.

Saiko-sensei begins to call out the names of the girls in line, one by one. She never looks up from the paper, but there is something in her aura that keeps us from talking.

Finally, she puts the paper down to gaze up at us. "We are not going to do exercises to practice poise," she says bluntly. "We are not going to do exercises to practice grace or balance. If you didn't already have that, you wouldn't be here." Suddenly, she smiles. "We are going to practice one f the most important, and oft-forgotten, things in a dance troupe. _Synchronization_."

I feel a few sudden shivers in the line at her tone. I realize dimly that this might not be as easy as I thought it would be.

How are fifteen little girls all supposed to do a single move in exactly the same way, at exactly the same time, to perfection? I had never considered such a thing before.

**_[Scene Break]_**

It is my first training day with Ebisu and Ko since my start at the Academy. Ko has already bothered me for every impossibly small detail about life at the Academy, and is suitably awed, not to mention a good deal jealous. Now, however, is not the time to discuss the Academy. Ebisu does not even ask me how my first day went; after meditation and warm-up exercises, he gets right down to business.

"You will be working on senbon today," he tells me, looking me in the eye. "You will also begin exercises for your taijutsu style. At the end, I also want you to practice wall-climbing. I want you to be able to walk up and down ten times before you move on to the next chakra control exercise."

I am torn between excitement and anticipation; I nod determinedly. To appease Ko, who is pouting again, Ebisu gives him some more advanced basic taijutsu exercises to start and tells him he will be working on some endurance exercises to improve his aim from greater distances.

Ebisu sends Ko off to a separate part of the training room and introduces his exercises to him first. Once Ko has begun practicing, his face screwed up in concentration, Ebisu comes back to me. I have my senbon all ready to go in one of my equipment pouches, in preparation for just this moment. I shift from foot to foot excitedly before him, eager to begin.

He takes me off to the side, toward the same targets we always use for kunai and shuriken practice. We stand at an extremely close distance to the targets, the kind of distance I haven't had to use since I first started training. Ebisu tells me to take a basic aiming stance, and then we begin.

It is the first time Ebisu has ever taught me anything completely new to me; everything before that, I'd already gotten a basic understanding of from poor Shigeru-jii. To my surprise, he is actually a good teacher. His voice is calm and soothing, in control, as he gives me a basic description of what I'm supposed to do, breaking it down for me piece by piece. Then he gives me a slow physical demonstration of drawing the senbon, aiming, and hitting the target dead-center.

"I am no expert in senbon," he admits, to my even greater surprise. "But I know enough to at least teach you these basics."

And so we begin my introduction to senbon. He corrects tiny things about my starting stance, pointing out all the little differences between senbon-throwing, kunai-throwing, and shuriken-throwing. I find these details rather boring, but try to pay attention to all of them anyway. He moves on to show me the complicated way to grip the senbon. It makes my fingers ache to try it, and I know I will have to practice such finger dexterity on my own before he even tells me. Finally, I actually practice drawing and aiming in slow motion a few times.

"That's all I want you to do for today," he informs me, to my disappointment. "If you want to do more, I suggest you practice what I've already shown you thoroughly for our next meeting." His tone has turned slightly pompous again. "Only with this will you be able to eventually move on to actually throwing the senbon."

I'll probably try throwing the senbon anyway while practicing on my own... but there's no need to let him know that.

He ends by checking up on my kunai and shuriken skills by making me perform them for him. I am rather insulted that he thought I wouldn't try to continue training without him there to watch me, and end my improved performance by giving him an annoyed 'See?' sort of look. He glares back at me, but otherwise ignores it.

We move on to taijutsu. My impatience increases as he makes me give him a complete performance of all the basic taijutsu katas I've learned, but this goes relatively quickly. To my relief, he doesn't critique anything afterward, but simply moves on to the new style. _My new style. _The thought makes me grin.

"You will be beginning the Water Dancing Style," he announces clinically, staring down at me over the rim of his glasses as if sizing me up.

"Dancing?" I ask, my ears catching on the word.

"Dancing," he replies, nodding. "With your natural speed and grace, along with your physical experience with dancing, we thought this style would suit you. Your previous sensei," _Shigeru-jii, _I think with a brief flash of pain, "cobbled together the basic elements of a style that would ideally suit you, but the Honorable Third Hokage was the one who recommended this specific style for you. It is a rare style in Konoha, typically only practiced in northern Hidden Villages, but..." He swells with pride, tilting his head up in self-satisfaction. "As a private shinobi tutor, I am well versed in all manner of fighting styles up to amateur level. Should you wish to continue on to master the style, you would have to find another teacher, but for our present purposes, I can teach you the beginnings of the Water Dancing Style."

"Jack of all trades, master of none?" I question.

"Always better than a master of one," he finishes smoothly. "Now, the Water Dancing Style incorporates the smooth, practiced flow of dance into the fast, wild, fierce flow of water. That is the main principle of the style: to combine fast, wild, and fierce with smooth, flowing, and practiced. These elements together create the Water Dance.

"Let's begin."

_**[Scene Break]**_

It is evening, and Jiji and I are reading together in the library, the smoke rising up heavily from his pipe and the crackling fire behind us. He has decided to do a review of the history, shinobi law, and anatomy that I already know in honor of my new place in the Academy. He has already asked me all the questions about school no one else felt comfortable enough to. How did the teachers treat me? Was I given anything anyone else wasn't? What feelings did I get from them? How did I perform? How did far did they allow me to perform? How did they react to my performances.

I answered honestly. He did not seem happy with my answers, but neither did he seem angry, which I suppose means that I haven't been left out or cheated out of anything important yet. As we are finishing up with our lesson, though, I have a question for him.

"Jiji... what about Ko?"

He turns to look at me with raised eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

I brush my ponytail back over my shoulder, trying to think how to say it. "Well... I'll be doing most of my learning at the Academy soon. So I don't really need these library sessions as much anymore. But Ko's going to turn five in a few months. Aren't you going to start teaching him like you taught me?" My heart pangs a little at the thought of leaving these evening sessions with Jiji. But, well... my brother needs them more than I do.

Jiji sits back for a moment with a great sigh, looking vaguely surprised, like he honestly hadn't thought of such a thing before. "Would you be willing to give these times up for Konohamaru?" I nod, despite myself.

"Hmm..." He stares off into space a for a few moments, puffing deeply on his pipe. I only ever catch Jiji looking distracted like this in private.

"My God, he _will_ be five in a few months, won't he?" I hear him mutter under his breath. Then he turns to me and smiles, perhaps a bit sadly. I am startled by his expression.

"Children grow too fast," he tells me, like he's imparting some great pearl of wisdom.

I don't understand, but he doesn't seem to expect me to. Instead, he seems very sad and distracted for the rest of the night.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Megumi comes, as she promised, at the end of my first week of school.

It is still very strange to see her without her mask on, her thin, pale face framed by her long black hair. Megumi is not pretty in a conventional sense, but her face is one of those that you never forget once you first see it. The kind that makes you want to look at it again.

We sit in the sitting room together. Aya opens it up especially for us, because I have company. It is very strange sitting in the grand, stuffy sitting room with Megumi, of all people. I feel like I should be more acting more formal than I am.

I have decided that I don't like entertaining in the sitting room. It's too... stiff.

Megumi doesn't seem bothered, but then again, she rarely does. We sit together on the leather couch and I tell her all about my first week. "We've been taking placement tests," I say, "to rank where we are in the curriculum to start out. I don't like them," I add, scrunching up my nose.

"Are they hard?" she asks curiously.

"No, at least, not for me. But I don't like the idea of automatically ranking everyone from the get-go, so that places in the class are pretty much decided right away. Especially because all the civilian children, like you said, are going to be ranked lower and are going to be thought of that way afterward."

"... I don't know if it's quite as severe as what you're saying," she said after a moment's thought, "but it_ is_ a problem. Ranking within the Academy has always been a problem, ever since its founding. Too many children become popular or unpopular, known or unknown, solely because of such early rankings."

"I don't like that," I say decidedly.

"It's the way things are done," she says simply, shrugging. "... Anyway, how were you in the placement tests?"

I grin despite myself. "I got first place in kunoichi!" I say proudly. "Some of the Academy teachers really weren't happy!" I feel a swell of pride at this. Making the more prejudiced, meaner teachers unhappy is already something I celebrate with Sakura and Ino.

"I am not surprised," Megumi replies evenly, but there is a warmth in her expression that says she is happy for me anyway.

"Oh! Speaking of training..." I sidle closer to her with an eager expression. She eyes me with something between amusement and suspicion. "I was wondering if you knew anything about senbon?" I say hopefully, gazing up at her with the big eyes that always work on Asuma-jii and Sanken... and always worked on Shigeru-jii.

"I am proficient with senbon," she replies after a moment, gazing at me questioningly.

"Then I was wondering if you could help me with them, since my tutor says he can only show me the very basics?" I blink my big eyes a few more times, wondering if they work on women. They never work on Aya, after all.

She looks me in the eye, almost as if sizing me up. I will myself not to blink. "... I suppose I can help you whenever I come over," she says after a moment.

I brighten up, beaming triumphantly. "Thanks!" I give her a hug.

She pats my back, her expression dryly amused. "You're welcome, Naruto," she says evenly. "When did you start senbon?"

"Just last training session," I reply, sitting back up. "I'm also starting on a taijutsu style called the Water Dancing Style!" I'm very proud of my new style and have already told everyone I know about it (Ino and Ko are both suitably jealous).

Her eyes dart over to me sharply. "That's... a rare style."

I nod. "Yeah, that's what Ebisu said. But apparently Jiji recommended it, and he knows everything, so..." I shrug.

She relaxes after a moment and nods. "True. By the way, I could also help you with some taijutsu moves when I come over. There are certain stretches and ways of shifting the body that can give girls more leverage over boys, who are typically stronger. I could teach them to you. Your tutor and grandfather and uncle, as men, wouldn't know them."

I feel a brief thrill at that, like it's a secret technique only girls are allowed to know. "Sure," I agree immediately, nodding eagerly, "you can teach me..."

_**[Scene Break]**_

I jump down into the entrance hall the next morning, bright and happy. I am glad to be wearing bright clothes after a full week of my shinobi uniform. Today I am dressed in a pink and white striped tank top and a pair of jean shorts. A single equipment pouch is slung from my beltline. My hair is put up in pigtails.

I run into the kitchen to help Aya with breakfast. This has become a bit of a ritual for us: me helping Aya with meal times at odd hours. She teaches me where I still need to be taught, giving me experience with cooking. It's a soothing exercise, creating something, filling your time with harmless menial tasks. It's therapeutic, I've found. I told Aya this once, and she smiled and said, "Why do you think I love my job?"

I remember that Aya deals with stress by cooking and cleaning all the time, and for the first time I think I understand what she means.

Ko comes bowling down the stairs soon enough, and we all sit down to breakfast to eat together. Afterward, I head out to the backyard to help Sanken with the gardening, as I promised that I would today. He runs alongside the two of us, chattering nonstop, more of a hindrance than a help. I talk to him idly as I walk along, helping the summer plants and flowers grow, digging my hands deep into the soil, the sun on my back. Ko will occasionally direct something at quiet, steady old Sanken as well. Sanken merely grunts at this, making short replies here and there. I smile to myself as I think that Ko and I are the only people in the world Sanken would never snap at for chattering to him like that.

We work through the morning and a good part of the afternoon. Finally, it becomes too hot to continue, and Ko and I retreat into the cool shade of the house, where we drink water and have snacks made for us by Aya. It is one of our few off-days for shinobi training, so we merely sit in the kitchen, talking to each other. Soon enough, Asuma-jii comes through, bursting in unexpectedly as he always does, grinning widely. Aya scolds him about his shoes and the state of his hair for a while, and then she shoos him into a seat at the kitchen table.

Asuma-jii tells us in a quiet undertone that he is planning on registering as a shinobi on Monday. We both gasp loudly (earning curious looks from Aya) and whisper eager questions to him over the tabletop. The three of us spend so long huddled together at the table, whispering conspiratorially, that Aya finally breaks us apart, saying sternly that Asuma-jii must be "being a bad influence" on us again. We share sideways looks and hidden smiles, but refuse to tell her anything. It's supposed to be a surprise.

Aya frowns mightily, and finally decides that Asuma-jii must be behind this, too. In revenge, she insists that he stay for dinner, even though his father and Sanken are both going to be present.

As a result, dinner that evening is very loud. Aya and Sanken snipe at each other. Jiji and Asuma-jii make hidden little barbs at each other across the dinner table. Ko snickers as he pelts Asuma-jii and me with pieces of food.

I sigh and roll my eyes in amused exasperation, pondering the chaos of family. (Then, when I'm done playing on the higher ground, I take some food from my own plate to pelt Ko back.)

It seems strange to be reading in my room instead of the library that night. But I do, curled up on my bed, reading by the moonlight. I make a mental note to ask Jiji about a desk with a desk lamp to put in my room._ I'm probably going to need one soon anyway._ Then I lose myself in the throes of one of my favorite, intricate mystery novels for at least half the night.

Finally, it really is too dark to continue, and I put my pajamas on to get ready for bed.

As I fall asleep that night, I reflect, for the the first time in a while, on how lucky I am. The thought just occurs to me suddenly out of the blue. I'm not sure what prompts it.

But all of a sudden, I'm very grateful to have a family and a home.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Aya walks me to Ino's house the next morning in the bright sunlight. Ino has invited a group of her new Academy friends over to her house to hang out this weekend. I protest against being brought to the Yamanakas' by an adult in front of everyone, like I'm a baby, but Aya insists that having a servant walk me to my friend's house will just make me look "posh."

I dressed very carefully this morning, in a pair of white cargo pants and and a smooth, blue long-sleeved shirt that apparently "brings out my eyes." My hair is brushed to gleaming perfection and is put on its best display, hanging loose and flowing gold around my face. It is my hair that I took the most time on. I want to make a good first impression outside of school.

Ino's house is as large, cheerful, and well-furnished as usual. Mrs. Yamanaka greets me kindly at the door, her bag over her arm, apparently on her way out to the Yamanaka Flower Shop (which Ino has actually shown me a few times; I've always thought it a wonderful place, and very much approve of Mrs. Yamanaka for running it). She lets me into the house and greets Aya as she leaves down the long walkway.

I go upstairs to Ino's room, where I hear the giggling of many girl-ish voices and some of my most favorite of Ino's music playing behind the door. I walk into the room, taking in Ino's huge four-poster bed and wide, colorful room that always smells of flowers... right before Sakura smiles widely and calls to me, "Naruto!"

The girls are all sitting in a group on the bed, huddled around each other, chatting. Ino's music is playing off of her big, plastic white stereo in the corner. As I sit down next to Sakura, who scoots over to make room for me, I take the opportunity to change the topic to something I'm actually interested in: music.

We all just sit around for a while, eating a bowl of chex mix Ino has set in the middle of the circle and talking about our favorite bands and artists. I like a lot of alternative and rock as well as pop, but most of the girls around me enjoy lighter, more bubblegum fare. Soon the talk turns to movies, and when the rest of the group rolls their eyes over the new Warrior Princess Yuki movie that Asuma-jii is planning on taking Ko and me to next week, I inwardly decide (yet again) that I would probably never be friends with these girls if it wasn't for Sakura and Ino.

Sakura does mention the book version of the movies, and we spend a while talking about books together, but this is short-lived. Most of the other girls don't seem very interested in books. As soon as we begin talking about books for school, they take the opportunity to eagerly change the subject back to boys in school. Which, it turns out, was the topic of conversation before I came in. As Sakura stops listening to me and turns back to the huddle of girls with an eager gleam in her eye and a giggle in her voice, I sigh.

Normally, I wouldn't mind talking about boys. As I said before, they seem much more interesting than the majority of girls. But these girls only talk about boys like _that_. Which I find disgusting, as well as utterly incomprehensible.

I sit back, listening idly as they move from boy to boy, carefully assessing each in turn. It doesn't take them long to get to one boy in particular: Uchiha Sasuke.

"He's _so_ handsome," a pig-tailed girl named Ume sighs.

"With those deep black eyes," Sakura agrees dreamily, "and the way he's so formal and polite to everyone. It's like he's a prince."

"He _is _a prince," Ino adds decidedly, her voice warmly approving. "The Prince of the Uchiha. That's the only kind of prince Konoha _has_. And he's very talented, isn't he?" she adds, like that seals the deal.

"Well, he's not that much more talented than some of the other boys," I say in confusion. They all turn to stare at me. "What? He's not!" I say defensively. "I don't see what's so special about Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Well, not _all _of us are the prissy, kick-ass daughters of shinobi lords," a brunette named Kara says, rolling her eyes and sounding rather prissy herself. I narrow my eyes at her, but say nothing. I have learned that it is impossible to argue with any of these girls when it comes to boys they like. And, as Jiji says, it is useless to speak to someone who refuses to listen.

"Yeah, I can't believe what you did to him on that first day," Ume giggles, sounding scandalized. Sakura giggles along, nodding in agreement.

"It _was _pretty big," Ino agrees, sounding as if she can't decide whether she's approving or skeptical. "And he's been staring at you ever since."

"What?" I ask, caught off-guard.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed it!" I give her a blank look. She sighs, rolling her eyes. "He'll give you this _look _sometimes, when you're in the same class and we're testing on something."

"This weird, intense look," another girl adds significantly. "We've all seen it." Everyone in the circle starts nodding, like they've all been talking about it, and suddenly I feel as if I've been left out of something.

"Oh. I never noticed. I was too busy testing," I reply, honestly surprised.

They all watch me carefully, as if waiting for more... "What?" I finally ask, looking around at them in confused embarrassment.

"Well, don't you _care_?" Sakura finally asks, in a 'duh!' sort of way.

"No," I answer. "Not much, anyway. Why would I? He's just some guy.

"There's absolutely nothing interesting about Uchiha Sasuke."

_**[Scene Break]**_

The next morning, I am sitting with Shikamaru and Chouji, talking with them before class starts. I have learned over my first week that although girls don't normally hang out with the boys, if I can get away with it during breaks and things like that, it's always more interesting to spend time with Shikamaru and Chouji than with Ino and Sakura and the other girls. It's much easier, somehow.

Chouji is in the middle of trying to describe to me the awe-inspiring (and, according to Shikamaru, indescribable) experience of watching the entire Akimichi clan get together during big clan dinners and eat all at the same time. The Akimichi clan bases their techniques around their huge size and girth, so they have to be eating all the time. As a result, when they all sit around and eat _together_, they have to sit around on the floor like a picnic because no table could hold all the pounds and pounds of food the Akimichi are about to consume without collapsing.

My eyes are wide and there's a reluctant, awed grin on my face as he tells me about the eating contests his uncle and father sometimes have, when suddenly the door opens and the teacher walks into the room. We all quiet down, staring at him uncertainly, because class isn't due to start for at least another five minutes and there is a solemn frown on his face.

"I need to make an announcement before school begins this morning," he tells the class in a serious voice. "On Friday afternoon, an attack was made on the Uchiha clan by one of its own members. This former Uchiha clan member, who has been registered as certifiably insane and who disappeared after his assault, attacked his fellow family members on Friday evening... killing all of them." There are several sharp gasps from around the room, and I turn to stare at the teacher fully, suddenly feeling numb. The teacher closes his eyes, seeming for once exhausted and sad. "Except for one, all of the hundreds of members of the Uchiha clan are dead."

He opens his eyes to stare at us heavily. "And the only one to be spared in the assault was your classmate, Uchiha Sasuke."

_**[Scene Break]**_

Author's Notes: Be-dee, be-dee, be-dee, that's all folks.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.

(PS: Anyone who didn't see the end coming needs to work on their ability to perceive foreshadowing just the _teensiest_ bit. Just saying.)


	18. Chapter 17

_Chapter Seventeen_

I am disturbed and distracted for the rest of the day. For once, I am not alone in this.

"What must it be like," Sakura whispers quietly during lunch, her expression awful, "to have everyone in your family just suddenly _die_?" She gives me a sideways glance.

"What must it be like," Ino adds more seriously, her face frowning and sympathetic, "to_ see_ everyone in your family die?"

The rest of our group is silent in response to this, the girls staring at the grass around them, a few of them sniffling. They have been doing this since the announcement came out. I do not understand this, as they did not know any of the Uchiha clan personally. How can they even cry when this horrible, impossible-to-contemplate event has happened to someone else, someone we _know_? I, for one, am too shocked and disgusted to do anything, much less cry.

I do not know how to explain that I am not thinking about Sasuke's grief, or even his shock or trauma.

I am thinking of the emotions he will have to digest afterward. The loneliness. The gripping, horrid loneliness. The knowledge that you are different, and very few people can ever truly understand what you've been through. The sharp sting of betrayal. The sudden thrusting into a grown-up world, one you've never had to experience before. The overwhelmed sensation you get as you stare at everything around you and try to wonder how this can be your world.

I have stop and remind myself for a moment that Uchiha Sasuke is not me.

But the similarities are all too numerous.

I feel sorry for Uchiha Sasuke, but not for the same reasons the other do. I think of that mild arrogance, that strong but completely innocent burn to prove himself, the slight smile or the amused and ironic quirk to his lips... even the light shining in his black eyes... that I saw in the boy I went up against in weaponry on that first day, just a week ago. I think that when I see him again, that innocence and light will no longer be there. It probably never will be again.

I feel a strange sense of loss for a moment, sad and weighing.

_**[Scene Break]**_

I still have dancing class after school. Life goes on.

The girls seem, amazingly, unaware of what has happened. All except for Chichi, who comes up to me as soon as she sees me arrive onstage. Her face is even quieter and more closed-off than usual, a sure sign that she's feeling something deeply. I gaze at her for a moment, and a quiet understanding passes between us. We both know what has happened.

She stands beside me in silence for a while. We watch the chatter and laughter of the other girls passing by with some detachment.

"... Things will not be the same," she finally says, her voice less strong and certain than usual.

"No," I sigh. "They won't. But I'm not sure in what ways they'll be different. That's what worries me." I'm not sure why I feel more comfortable confiding something like this in Chichi than I would in my girlfriends at the Academy. Like Shikamaru and Chouji, I suppose Chichi is just... easier to talk to. Especially about things like this.

"The Uchiha were an integral part of the village," Chichi says solemnly. "Many holes will have to be filled everywhere by their absence."

I nod quietly. I watch the happy girls for a minute, then whisper, "Don't they _know_? Don't they _care_?"

"Of course they don't know. It was kept a secret all weekend, and it will be kept from the civilian population until at least this evening, when word starts to get around." I start, remembering abruptly that I hardly saw Jiji at all this weekend. Was this why? Because he was working so hard? Megumi, too? I would have to ask Asuma-jii. He might know.

Abruptly, Saiko-sensei brushes through the curtains, her expression as hard and indomitable as usual. "Everyone line up!" she shouts, and we hurry to line up in front of her.

As we start the basic exercises as one, my stress leaves me momentarily. I push all of my worries and depression into my dancing, into my moves, and watch as it all flows out before me. My moves take on a new sharpness, a new form, one move melding perfectly into the next. Beauty. Perfection. Release.

_... There. That's better._

Dancing should be instinctive.

_**[Scene Break]**_

My taijutsu is taking on a similar form. Down there in the training chambers under Ebisu's watchful guard, I learn that the Water Dancing Style is so completely natural to me, it's like breathing. The moves match my body so well, are so easy to learn, are so exhilarating to practice, that I feel like a mermaid diving into water for the first time. I am quickly mastering the basic forms, and am already eager to move on to new things. I train long and hard, even outside of our official training sessions, and I can tell the results are paying off.

Ebisu seems to take a new satisfaction from teaching me that he's never had before.

Megumi is not around to teach me senbon yet, increasing my suspicions that all the higher-level shinobi are being worked harder after the Massacre, although Asuma-jii hasn't been around lately to confirm it and Aya starts humming loudly to herself whenever I try to ask _her _about it. Either way, since I'm still just beginning to throw them at the target (and haven't managed to hit _any_ of the much smaller and more precise points yet) it's not like I necessarily need her yet.

I have found that senbon requires an incredibly precise knowledge of the human body that I don't yet have. Luckily, my Anatomy teacher seems to have grown a liking for me, especially when I asked her for extra work to do outside of class to increase my knowledge. When she found out during one of our warm after-class conversations that I also like plants and gardening, she even bought me a book on poisons. "It combines the two," she explained at my surprised look, giving me one of her small, indulgent smiles.

I have been suitably devouring poisons alongside my extra Anatomy, and have begun seeing plants in a whole new light I'd never considered before.

Ebisu has also started me on a new chakra exercise wherein I sit on the edge of the pool, dangle my feet on the water's surface, and flow chakra to my feet. Ebisu will start pouring chakra into the water to move it around, and I must try to keep my own chakra steady against the flow of the water. This is harder to do than it sounded when it was first explained to me, although I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. Chakra control, I have learned, always is. I must also continue to do wall-climbing as well, to increase my proficiency in that.

One afternoon, I am busy working on this, frowning in concentration and frustration at my stubborn feet dangling over the water. Ebisu has let the water go for a while and is helping Ko with his throwing skills off to the side. Suddenly, the timer at the entrance to the chamber rings, signaling the end of the lesson.

"You may leave," Ebisu says at once, raising his hands from Ko, who rips away from them and speeds toward the door.

"Race you!" he calls back over his shoulder, grinning impishly.

"No fair!" I shout back, taking off running at once and having to go as fast as I can to catch up with him. We push each other up the stairs and burst through the door and into the kitchen.

"HA!" I shout, stepping in just a second before he does.

"No fair! You cheated!"

"So did you!" I insist, placing my hands on my hips. "I just cheated _better_. That's what being a _ninja's _all about."

Ko sticks his tongue out at me.

"Alright, alright, break it up," Aya says, waving at us threateningly from the stove and rolling her eyes. "Konohamaru, she got in here before you. Stop arguing, or I'll make you help with dinner." Ko makes a horrified face. "That's what I thought. Now go get Sanken so the grouch can eat with us. Naruto, come help me with dinner anyway."

"Yes, Aya," we chorus (she has trained us well), and Ko runs out of the room again as fast as his little legs can carry him. I walk over to help Aya with the food.

A few minutes later, Ko comes in, dragging a dryly amused Sanken behind him and waxing indignant about the race he "so obviously won." I do my sisterly duty and run over to tell Sanken hotly that_ I_ was actually the winner, despite Ko's claims to the contrary, and the argument only ends when Sanken threatens to dump the sack of soil in his pocket over our heads.

As the four of us sit down to eat, Ebisu walks through the kitchen on his way out of the house. "Thank you," Aya says politely from the table as he passes by us. She gives us Looks, and we quickly repeat the words.

He nods and raises his hand as he leaves the room. "Have a nice night."

There is a few minutes of companionable silence as we sink into our food and the comfort of routine. Well... almost routine. I glance over in mild worry at Jiji's vacant chair. He hasn't been seen by either Ko or I since last Thursday evening. Aya insists that he actually is coming home to sleep, but I have to wonder...

"Are you sure he's alright?" I ask Aya for the hundredth time.

"He's fine," Sanken answers before Aya can. She glances at him in surprise for a moment. "And no matter how many times you ask it, the answer's not going to change."

"It _could_," I say defensively, and Sanken snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Look, I know he's dealing with the Massacre," I sigh. "I just worry about him, that's all. I wish I could at least see him."

"Wish no more," says a tired voice behind me. We all gasp and look around to see Jiji standing there in the doorway. We hadn't even heard him come in. My worry actually increases at his expression. There is a hardness to his face, to his eyes, that I have never seen there before. Jiji's presence hasn't actually been intimidating since the first day I met him, but now it suddenly is. My words die in my throat.

My brother has no such reservations. "Jiji, is Nee-chan telling the truth? Have you been working on the Uchiha Massacre?" Ko blurts out. I wince and make a mental note to teach Konohamaru the meaning of the word tact.

There is a moment of frigid silence as Jiji stares at Ko for a moment, and Ko actually starts to shrink in his chair, looking like he regretted saying anything. Then Jiji sighs, and seems to sag a little. His expression is suddenly as exhausted as his voice. "Yes," he says simply, quietly, and sits in the chair next to me to eat.

No one speaks inside the room again for a long time.

"... Can Asuma-jii come over?" I finally ask, searching for something to break the silence. Jiji turns to look at me, raising his eyebrows with what seems to be some amount of effort. "We haven't seen him in a while," I explain, shrugging, and I see Ko nodding quickly on my other side.

Jiji considers for a moment, and then he gives a mild sigh. "Yes," he says, "I suppose he may."

The thought doesn't seem to cheer him much.

_**[Scene Break]**_

The next evening, Asuma-jii bursts into the kitchen and wraps us both in a giant bear hug. "Ko! Hime!"

"Asuma-jii!" We laugh, hugging him back.

Jiji comes in behind him, smiling wryly and rolling his eyes a little.

"I helped make dinner!" I tell Asuma-jii, jumping back and grinning at him proudly.

"Yeah?" he asks idly, running a hand through his hair (which already looks like he didn't bother to brush it this morning) and sitting down at the kitchen table. "Gonna be a lady when you grow up?"

I wrinkle my nose. "Nah. I'm gonna be a kick-ass ninja!" I cheer.

"And I'm gonna be an even bigger kick-ass ninja!" Ko adds loudly beside me.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Now listen here," Jiji rumbles sternly from his place at the kitchen table. Everyone, including Aya and Sanken, turn to stare at him. "Both of my grandchildren are going to be kick-ass ninja, and that's that!"

I start, and then laugh in relief. I haven't heard Jiji joke in a while. "Jiji!" we shout, rushing forward to engulf him in hugs. He chuckles a little, his goatee tickling the tops of our heads. He smells of wood smoke.

So the evening starts out well. Everyone sits down and eats together, warm and family-like. It seems like Jiji and Aya and Sanken are finally starting to accept Asuma-jii's presence here, and maybe forgive him for not being here before. But then, as the evening winds down, Jiji sits back and takes out his pipe.

"Hiruzen-sama! I've asked you not to do that in the kitchen!" Aya despairs, and Sanken grunts.

Jiji ignores them, sitting back and letting a ring of smoke drift into the air before him. He does that whenever he is agitated or thinking hard about something. There is a moment of silence.

Finally, Jiji says quietly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He looks down to stare Asuma-jii in the eye, his gaze piercing. The rest of us blink in confusion, but Asuma-jii looks off to the side, clearly avoiding Jiji's eyes. His expression is careful. "I thought you had enough to deal with."

"No. You didn't."

Asuma-jii bristles a little. "Because you just _know _everything?" he asks pointedly, finally looking up to meet Jiji's eye.

Jiji sighs, looking tired. "Asuma..."

"I thought you'd be pleased," Asuma points out wryly, sitting back as well. His pose is the same as Jiji's when he's bothered by something and doesn't wish to show it. I wonder vaguely if he's doing that consciously. "It's not like you don't need it. And you _know _I'll test out at jonin level by now."

I gasp, suddenly realizing what they're talking about. "You turned in your application to become a shinobi again, like you said you would!" I say excitedly, and Ko's head shoots up eagerly beside me.

"You _what_?" Aya says in shock. Sanken's fork slips from his fingers clumsily and clatters onto the plate.

Asuma tilts his head up coolly. "I applied to become a Konoha shinobi again," he says evenly. "I thought it was high time."

"Asuma," Jiji sighs, "we should have _discussed_ this."

"Why...?" Asuma stares at him for a long moment. "You don't think I can do it," he suddenly accuses, quietly. "You just think I'll leave again, like I did when I was younger. You don't think I can bear up under the _responsibility _and _dedication_." He says the words like he's heard them many times before. I glance from Asuma-jii to Jiji anxiously.

I've never heard Asuma-jii sound bitter before.

"Hey!" Ko says suddenly from beside me. "What's going on? We're happy, right?"

There's a moment of long, tense silence. The rest of the table watches Asuma-jii and Jiji worriedly.

"Of course we are," I finally say in a forcibly bright voice, smiling cheerfully at Ko. "We're very happy." I look quickly at Aya and Sanken.

Sanken clears his throat. "Of course," he mutters gruffly. "V-very happy."

"Yes!" Aya adds brightly, giving the same kind of smile I am. "Congratulations, Asuma-sama!" Despite herself, she still sounds surprised.

_It's Asuma-sama now, _I think privately. I wonder if, when I'm an adult kunoichi, I'll get a similar title.

It's an odd thought.

_**[Scene Break]**_

I have begun to sit with Shikamaru and Chouji in the mornings before school starts. Ino and Sakura and their friends have taken to discussing Uchiha Sasuke again at every given opportunity, and it's becoming rather annoying. It would be different if they were simply offering their sympathy for him, but that's not exactly it.

They are talking about _everything _that has to do with Uchiha Sasuke. His looks, his family, his money, his abilities, his grades, his attitude, his loss, his grief, his "mystery"... they even had a discussion once about his _shirts_. It seems like the loss of the Uchiha clan, and Sasuke's unexplained survival, have made him suddenly more appealing and interesting. It's like none of them can keep their minds off of him. It's very confusing. Granted, his survival is odd, but I hardly think it was _his _doing.

It is true, however, that Uchiha Sasuke has not appeared at school in the few days since the Massacre. Everyone's talking about him, but it's all rumors, for Uchiha Sasuke has not been seen by the general public since the afternoon before the Massacre. He was shut away in Konoha's inner workings for surveillance. Plenty of classmates have already come up and asked me about him, but I've had to turn them away apologetically, for Jiji will not tell either me or Ko anything about Uchiha Sasuke's condition or location. In fact, he gets so unusually sharp and stern about it that we have quickly learned to stop asking.

There are other pieces of evidence of the Uchiha Massacre. I have not seen Megumi since last Friday. All the shinobi flying over the rooftops and rushing through the streets look tired and harried, worn and strained. The police, which the Uchiha clan always ran, have suddenly and inexplicably disappeared. It is jarring to look around the city and see no police uniforms weaving through the populace, or on the rooftops above. I had never realized how used to seeing them I was until now, when they're not there anymore. They are... _were_... such a fixture in Konoha that even I can feel the loss of their presence.

"Hey, Naruto." I start and look over. Shikamaru and Chouji are staring at me.

I pull myself out of my musings and gaze around our first period class. "Sorry, what?"

"I said, what are you thinking about?" Chouji asks quietly, taking a chip out of the bag in his lap to munch on it.

I shrug. "The Massacre," I say, almost shamefully. "Nothing new or interesting."

Chouji nods. "It's all my parents are talking about at night," he says, sounding uneasy. "I hardly ever see them anymore."

"Jiji, too," I sigh.

"And my father," Shikamaru adds. He nods slowly, languidly. "It sucks," he says fervently. "The whole thing. It _sucks_."

I didn't say anything. Who could argue with that? Really, it's the only thing anyone is sure of about this mess.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Author's Notes: Sasuke next chapter. Some interesting changes will come about in Naruto's life thanks to Sasuke's newfound celebrity. And Asuma and Megumi will show up and do shinobi-like things.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	19. Chapter 18

_Chapter Eighteen_

Just a few weeks into my first year, I decide that I hate the Academy's taijutsu style.

Asuma-jii wasn't totally accurate in his words to me on my first day. It's not even that it has bad forms or obvious flaws, or that it would useless in the battlefield. It's just horrible for me. Everything, from my body shape to my physical strengths and weaknesses, is completely unsuited to it. I'm focused on speed and agility. It focuses on force, strength, and grappling techniques. I have a slim, lithe build. It's meant for people with a short, stocky build. I'm better at dodging and dancing around my opponent. It specializes in getting right up close to the opponent as you're fighting. I prefer jumping in, directly attacking the opponent, leaping back out, and circling again to look for another opening. The Academy's taijutsu style specializes in defense.

If I suddenly decided I was left-handed, the next day in Taijutsu, we would magically start learning a move that's only for right-handed people.

Of course, the instructor doesn't help. He doesn't dare do anything directly, such as deliberately not teach me something, but if I raise my hand during individual practice, I'll always be the question he gets to last... sometimes, just in time for the bell to ring. Or, if ten people have done something wrong in class, I'll always be the example he picks out of how not to do it. His demeanor is cold and unfriendly, and when we're doing katas as a group, I can always feel his eyes boring holes into the back of my head. It's eerie. Not even Takara-sensei when I first met her was this bad.

Basic Chakra Exercises is another class wherein I am having trouble. It wasn't at first. The first couple of weeks were devoted to finding our chakra, which, of course, I can already do. I thought that the first couple of weeks were boring, but now I'm wishing for them back, because now we're moving on to chakra control. They have started us out with a simple exercise where we coat a large leaf (appropriately) with our chakra and make the leaf curl out and in, out and in. It's supposed to be enormously easy for a beginner, and I'm the only student in the class who hasn't made any progress yet. It's embarrassing, especially because the teacher is starting to become annoyingly condescending about it, and just a hint smug too. According to Ebisu, Jiji, and Asuma-jii, I am having trouble with the exercise because I am not, in fact, a beginner. In part because of the stupid fox stuck in my stomach, and in part because of my early head start on my training, I have abnormally large chakra reserves and abnormally potent chakra. This is why Ebisu is starting me out on the larger chakra exercises during our individual training. Unlike most shinobi trainees my age, I will have to start with the bigger exercises and work from the top down, to the finest chakra control exercises. Most trainees have to work on the amount of chakra they have. I don't have any problems with amount; it's control I have to work on.

My friends are completely unsympathetic to my plight. Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji all have freakishly good chakra control because of the nature of their clans' techniques and because of their ancestry. And civilian-born Sakura, who I thought I would be able to empathize with, actually has the best chakra control of all of us! She is also very proud of this and has taken to reminding us of it at least two or three times a day.

My other classes, however, go much better. Weaponry, of course, is the easiest class in the world, to the point of being boring. The teacher thought the way I aimed was odd at first, but once she realized I'd probably gotten it from my tutor and it worked just fine for me, she let me be. I have mastered kunai and shuriken. I'm already far beyond the other students in the class, and usually the teacher has me helping my peers who need it alongside her. I have already made many distant friends and acquaintances in this way.

My academics classes are very interesting. Strategy & Team Management and Anatomy, in particular, fascinate me.

Strategy I seem to have something of a natural talent for. It is mesmerizing to study a model or a picture of a famous battle I have only read about in brief summary, and to see it fleshed out and livened up before me. The teacher has also already had us do several exercises where she gives us a situation and we write down our own private summary of what we would do if we were the leader of a team, or at times a lone shinobi on a mission, in such a situation. Then we discuss the situation in class. It's mind-broadening to hear different points of view, different perspectives, different possibilities. The situations lay themselves out before me in my mind, a miniature visual, and I can move the little pieces in different ways to produce different outcomes. An intriguing experience.

Anatomy continues to pull at my mind as well. The pictures she shows us are amazing, and at times disgusting. I never knew all the incredible things that something as small and simple as the human body could do before. Asuma-jii _was _right in this, however. The demonstrations are horrible.

Sakura shares an interest in this class with me, and Ino shares an interest in Strategy with me, so I have a subject to discuss with each best friend that doesn't have anything to do with boys, clothes, gossip, or Uchiha Sasuke... which is nice.

We are at lunch one day, and I am enthusiastically discussing my newest reading on poisons, which have become a source of much interest to me. None of the other girls Ino and Sakura are friends with enjoy these discussions very much, and they tend to group away in their own little corner in disgust whenever I start on such topics. It makes me wonder vaguely why they are in the Shinobi Academy.

Ino and Sakura are fine with such conversations, however, and it's nice to spend some quality time with my friends again. Such opportunities have become less and less frequent ever since the end of etiquette lessons.

"I can appreciate them," Ino says casually, "you know, from an assassin's perspective. I mean, you stick someone in the leg with a senbon, they feel like they got stuck with a pin, and then ten minutes later they suddenly fall over, gasping, on the ground, and they die. Without even any mess. That's pretty amazing."

"Oh, that's not even _half _of what they can do!" I assure her. "Some of the well-known Konoha poisons are incredible."

"It _is _amazing what people can do when they combine a certain amount of chakra with a certain mixture of chemicals," Sakura agrees with us. "Almost anything can happen. But I don't know if I really like the idea of torturing someone with them." Her expression is a little uncomfortable.

I think about that for a moment. "Well, there's always medicine," I finally offer. "Medic-nin do that sort of thing all the time, don't they? And they _save _people. Besides, isn't your specialty chakra control? That's one of the main qualifications for being a medic-nin."

Sakura's face becomes thoughtful.

"Well, not for me! I'm totally being an assassination specialist, or maybe a beautiful seductress," Ino says confidently, tossing her hair back and smiling smugly.

I give her an analyzing look. "I can see it," I finally admit, reluctantly amused.

"Of course you can," she says dismissively. "Now what are you going to be?" She grins. "You've got thirty seconds to decide what you're going to do with the rest of your life, GO!"

I blink. "Uh..." I say intelligently. Sakura starts giggling.

"Fail," Ino laughs, falling back on the grass.

"Hey!" I say indignantly, kicking at her. She dodges it easily.

"Really, though," she says more seriously, "what are you going to specialize in?"

"Probably assault," I decide after a moment. "Taijutsu, or maybe even ninjutsu, with a minor in long-distance weaponry. What? I've thought about this," I added at their expressions.

"Ninjutsu? You, Miss I Can't Even Do A Simple Chakra Control Exercise?" Ino asks mockingly, and Sakura raises a skeptical eyebrow.

"No fair! Don't you dare bring that up!" I say heatedly. "I'm just having some... technical difficulties."

Ino snorts and rolls her eyes. "Technical difficulties, _sure_." She sees my thunderous expression and quickly adds, "Look, do whatever you want. Power to you.

"I just can't see you being a powerhouse in ninjutsu assault."

**_[Scene Break]_**

One evening, Aya, Sanken, Ko, and I are ushered through the front doors of the Hokage Tower.

We walk through the marble front entrance hall and up the sweeping staircase that leads to the upper floors. I grab Ko's hand as we twist up farther and farther and farther, until we finally reach the very top floor, where there is a large waiting room with only one door leading off of it. ANBU are guarding the door this time, which is one difference from the first time I was brought to this place. It's odd to think that it was almost two years ago now.

When we enter Jiji's office, I notice several differences. Dark curtains are pulled over the floor-to-ceiling windows. Candles have been brought in and lighted in the dusk, casting long shadows and throwing dancing spots of light on the walls. Jiji is sitting behind his desk in his official robes, dignified and immovable, as though cast of stone. Asuma-jii is standing in front of his desk, taking a stance, a shinobi instead of a son.

After weeks of testing, Asuma-jii is finally ready to receive his Jonin of Konoha ranking. During a shinobi's private instatement ceremony with the Hokage, he is allowed to bring only family members to watch him receive his rank. I already knew about this from my childhood tutoring with Jiji, and it was my idea that Asuma-jii should bring us along to watch him become a shinobi of Konoha once more.

Ko shivers a little and shrinks closer to me, staring around himself in awe. I squeeze his hand as we follow a nervous Sanken and Aya to stand at the side of the office, where we can watch the scene unfold.

Once the four of us have become still and silent, Jiji stands slowly. Asuma-jii doesn't even twitch.

"Sarutobi Asuma," Jiji intones gravely, without a hint of inflection, "do you solemnly swear to loyally follow the leaders of Konohagakure, to protect Konohagakure with your life, and to always put the well-being of Konohagakure first and foremost in your life, to your best and most noble ability?"

"I do solemnly swear," Asuma-jii replies quietly.

"And do you solemnly swear to forego your previous civilian life, to leave it behind and to live the way of the shinobi, to your dying day?"

"I do solemnly swear."

Jiji doesn't respond. Instead, he takes a brand-new hitai-ate off of his desk, walks slowly around the desk, and holds the hitai-ate out in front of Asuma-jii. Asuma-jii takes his hand away from his stance momentarily, and Jiji places it in his palm. Then, Jiji actually bows ever-so-slightly. "Welcome, new Jonin of Konoha."

There is a moment of reverent silence.

"VICTORY IS OURS!" Ko suddenly shouts, as if unable to contain himself any longer, and he pumps his fists into the air.

After this, I can't hold onto my excitement any longer either. "Yeah, Asuma-jii!" I cheer, jumping excitedly.

There is startled laughter suddenly breaking out all over the office. Sanken bends over and starts laughing so hard, tears form in his eyes. Asuma-jii grins in a devil-may-care sort of way. "Okay. That was officially the best instatement ceremony ever, kids," he says fervently, nodding. "Nice."

"Indeed, Konohamaru," Jiji chuckles. "May victory always be ours."

"I thought it would be longer," I point out, confused. With the big deal that is made out of private shinobi instatement ceremonies, I thought we'd be standing here for at least half an hour. This has been barely five_ minutes_.

"Hey," Asuma-jii says, shrugging philosophically, "what else is there to say? That's a lot to swear to.

"This time, though, I think I'm ready for it."

_**[Scene Break]**_

I am up in my room, watering my plants, after school one day. I hear a knock on the door, and Aya walks into the room. "Megumi-san is here to see you," she says matter-of-factly.

I jump up, eyes wide, and she immediately steps aside as I dart past her.

Megumi is waiting in the front entrance hall, standing quietly against a wall, as still and dark as ever. She hasn't changed. "Megumi!" I shout excitedly, running down to hug her. She tenses a little, but hugs me back willingly enough.

"I am sorry for the wait, Naruto-san," she says quietly.

"It's okay. You were working," I reply, pulling her into the sitting room. I yank the rod to throw the huge curtains back and let bright sunlight shine into the room before I sit down.

"We need to begin your training," she states as soon as I sit down. "I need to know what times your tutor comes to teach so I can come in and help you individually then."

"Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after school," I tell her, eyeing her curiously. "What all are you going to teach me?"

"I am going to teach you alterations to taijutsu moves and stretches made specifically for girls first," she replies, sitting back and smoothing her expression into perfect blankness. Her voice takes on a mesmeric quality. "Girls, with naturally more agile, lithe, weaker-muscled body types, are sometimes not entirely suited to male-created taijutsu styles. There are ways of moving their body that will give them more leverage in a fight. It would be best if you learned them now, while you're just getting into taijutsu. I will also be helping you with senbon aiming. Is there anything else you _wanted _to learn?" she adds.

"Well... I was wondering how much you knew about poisons..."

"Poisons?" she asks curiously.

"Yeah! I've been reading about them, and I think they're really cool, and I think they'd help me with Anatomy! Plus, poisons are supposed to work well with senbon, right? I've read that, too! But if you don't know much about them," I amend quickly, "it's alright..."

"I'm an assassination specialist," she interrupts, staring at me piercingly.

"... Oh. Really? You never told me that," I say excitedly. "That's so cool! So could you...?"

"Yes," she says slowly, "I suppose I could show you how to work poisons into your senbon. I know a supplier too..." She sounds thoughtful.

I beam, bouncing excitedly. "Great! How's Uchiha Sasuke doing?"

"He could be bet..." She trails off as she realizes what I just did. She turns slowly to narrow her eyes at me. "... Devious."

"That's what I do! But I knew he'd be bad. I didn't exactly think he'd be Mr. Sunshine, you know. I just meant..." I trail off, looking down and getting quieter. "_Will _he be okay?"

Megumi stares at me for a long time. Finally, she sighs. "He'll live."

"You didn't answer the question."

"... I know."

"Oh," I say quietly. I bite my lip, still looking down. There's a moment of silence.

"So," she finally says, forcefully more light-hearted, breaking the reverie. "How are Haruno-san and Yamanaka-san? I haven't seen them in a while."

"Oh, they're alright. All they ever do anymore is talk about boys, though! I mean, what's so interesting about that?" I frown, crossing my arms and huffing.

Megumi smiles a tiny, mysterious smile. "I'm sure you'll understand someday."

I give her a grossed-out look. "Ewww! I hope I don't. Guys are fun to hang out with, but I don't think I'll ever want to date one. That'd be weird."

"Weird indeed," Megumi says. She still sounds idly amused.

I give her a glare out of the corner of my eye. She still seems like she's internally laughing at me. But I mean it! Guys are _weird_.

_**[Scene Break]**_

I hurry through the Academy's front gates, slightly late, panting a little from my run to get here. I was helping Aya with breakfast and we lost track of time. Of course, I still would have made it on time if I was able to travel over rooftops... I wonder, grumbling a little to myself, when I'll finally learn how to do that.

I not-run through the halls and to my first period door. Slamming the door open, I hurry inside. "I'm sorry I'm late, Sensei! Family matters," I say as I walk in (_technically _it's true)... I pause, finally looking up at my class and registering that everyone is already seated, silent, and staring at me. For some reason, the air seems thicker than it normally would. Did I interrupt something?

I stare up at my teacher in confusion. He's scowling tightly at me. "Go to your seat, do ten push-ups, and take the seat. Do not speak." His tone is clipped.

Nodding, I walk through the thick, cloistering, silent atmosphere, wondering what's going on. As I get to my usual seat next to Sakura and put down my bookbag, I give her a questioning look. She glances at me with wide eyes, and then her eyes travel slowly down to something a few rows in front of us.

I look down as well, and my eyes widen. My whole body goes slack with shock.

Uchiha Sasuke is sitting quietly in a seat, his face closed off and absolutely expressionless. He is gazing ahead at the blackboard as if completely unaware of the fact that everyone is staring at him. His eyes, as I look closer at them, seem so... empty.

"Uzumaki-san." I whip my head around at my teacher's icy voice. "Your push-ups. _Now_." He watches me sternly.

I nod jerkily, mechanically, and get down into the push-up position, my mind spinning. Those empty eyes of his... They seemed so familiar. They brought back sudden, horrible memories of _Most children have parents, adults to look after just them and tell them they're special. But orphans don't. So the orphaned children wait here, and adults who can't make children, but still want some, come here and pick out a child to take home. I wonder once why no adults ever come in to see me, but then conclude that it's because no one would ever want a monster for a child. Perhaps She simply never bothered to mention me to anyone._

_Sometimes I accept this._

_Sometimes I accept, with that comfortable numbness that has become such a part of me, that I am a monster and I don't belong with them and that's just the way it is._

_Sometimes I can't._

_Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I had parents once too. I wonder if they were monsters like me. I wonder if they were nice monsters, or if they were like the monsters in those stories._

_Sometimes, I wonder if they were even monsters at all. I wonder if they were people, just like everyone else, and if they were very horrified when they had me instead of a nice, pretty, normal child. I wonder if they left me here to die._

_I know about death. All orphans do. When your life ends, and you leave everything behind._

_And whenever I think about this… whenever I can't accept and can't help but wonder… I can't help it. I scream._

_The numbness, the nice, comfortable numbness, abandons me, and all the feelings it hides me from hunt me down and hold me to the ground and take turns biting at my legs and my arms and my face, until they get to my meat and my bones and my heart and they eat those too, and then I am nothing but them. Pain. Anger. Self-hatred. Loneliness._

_The children become frightened by my screaming. They think there is a ghost in the walls. Maybe there is. Maybe that's what I am._

_A ghost._

"_Naruto_." Ino's hiss brings me back to the present. I look up in a haze from my stance. "You've done fifteen push-ups already. Sit down," she whispers.

Feeling clumsy, lost in a daze, I slowly stand up and sit back down in my seat, not even embarrassed. I gaze unblinkingly at the back of Uchiha Sasuke's head, numb... numb, as he must surely be numb.

His eyes reveal him, even when they say nothing.

_**[Scene Break]**_

He is in every single one of my classes. I think, when I realize this, that the universe must be taunting me.

The entire morning, I am sitting there, not even paying attention to the teachers, staring at Uchiha Sasuke from across the room in shock and something close to horror. He never turns to look at anyone staring at him. Instead, he stares straight ahead at the blackboard during all of his classes and says absolutely nothing. I see teachers and even students come up to him between classes, offering sympathy, help, support... He doesn't say a thing to any of them. He simply blinks at them for a long moment, and then turns and walks away. He is stiff and cold and alien, showing nothing on his face. He doesn't glance once at me, though we have all the same classes and I can't seem to keep my eyes off of him. Memory after memory of my first six years plays through my head like pieces of film that I don't want to watch, because I know how every single piece ends.

Finally, at lunch, I walk down the steps to the front courtyard, breathing in the sunlight like a breath of fresh air. I look over to my friends' usual lunch spot, but it's empty. I frown in confusion, glancing around the courtyard, and eventually spot them clustered among a crowd of other kids in a corner of the courtyard. I know without having to look that in the center of the crowd is Uchiha Sasuke. I feel a swooping nervousness in the pit of my stomach as I walk slowly, unwillingly, toward them.

Walking toward all my friends gawking at Uchiha Sasuke... I feel a sudden sense of deja vu.

_**[Scene Break]**_

___Uchiha Sasuke_

They won't leave me alone.

I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to think about anything except my classes. Why can't they see that? I'm not trying to hide it. But they won't leave me alone.

They are incredibly patronizing, these people around me. Trying to offer me comfort, sympathy, for something they obviously don't understand, but are pretending they do. It's odd. I never used to see other people as naive or misunderstanding before, but now it seems that's all I find when I look around. I have a newfound, dark hatred of the people around me. I haven't felt anything else toward a single person since I... woke up. I don't mind. It's easier than feeling anything else. Anything else is... overwhelming.

Some blonde girl is talking to me now, uncomfortably close, eyes wide and vapid with excitement. No doubt she finds it exciting to talk with me. They all must be talking about me. I feel hot, furious anger at this, and I have to control my face even more carefully to keep it from showing. What right do _any_ of these people have to talk of what happened to me?

The blonde girl is telling me her own name. Yamanaka, I register vaguely. The other blonde girl just behind her, with the shyer smile but the same ridiculous, excited eyes, gives an unfamiliar name. Civilian born. She probably won't even make it to her final year. Father always said the civilian ones never do.

Father...

I realize my mistake in thinking one of those newly forbidden words that speak of family, too late. Pain flashes up in me, memories flash through my mind in sickening, nauseating fast forward. Suddenly, my father is once again being speared through the gut before me. His eyes widen in shock and betrayal and pain, his mouth opens wide in a silent scream, the blood pours out, he collapses slowly to the ground as the sword is wrenched mercilessly out of him by that _sick bastard_ I used to call my _brother_... And all the time, I am unable to say anything, unable to move, unable to do anything but scream. _Helpless._

I always disliked that word, but now I absolutely _despise _it.

I take a deep breath and screw up my face into a defensively angry sneer, turning away from the stupid girls sharply. The eyes of all the contemptuous, flighty, excitable, _ridiculous _people around me widen. "Sasuke-kun?" one of the girls says in a grating, shrill voice. "Sasuke-kun?" I ignore her, concentrating on suppressing all my emotions behind my anger again. Anger is one of the only safe emotions left.

I take a deep breath and look away, over the heads of the crowd, trying to calm down... And, abruptly, one black-clad figure standing behind the rest, apart from them, catches my eye. She's another blonde girl, with golden hair richer than the others' and unusual whisker-shaped marks on her face. She looks familiar, and it takes me a minute to remember why. When I do, I can feel my eyes widen involuntarily, and I have to struggle to control my surprise at the memory of our last actual meeting. Back before any of this happened... back when the worst thing I was worried about was acing my beginner's placement tests so my father would see me as worthwhile, like he saw my brother... Not my brother. Not anymore. _ That_ man.

She had come up to the crowd around me, as I was performing for them that first day. I was proud of myself, I remembered vaguely. No one else could even handle kunai yet, but I could do all sorts of things with them. I had thought (mistakenly, as it turned out) that was something to be proud of. Something my fam... _they _would be proud of. And then the Inuzuka boy had shouted out that some girl had muttered that she could do better than me, and it turned out to be the golden-haired girl who had just walked up. She didn't look impressed like the others, I could see, and it stung my pride. I asked her to prove it. She looked nervous at first, and I had thought with amused exasperation and secret relief that she was bluffing. Then she lifted her head defiantly and walked up to the target anyway. Her hands were so fast that I could barely track them, and then two kunai were pinning in my best shot by a centimeter on either side. She had turned to me, taking in my openly stunned face, and said simply, "It doesn't matter how good you look if the other person is faster than you." Then she had turned and walked away, and proceeded to ignore my existence for the rest of the week. She had dismissed me, I could tell, and it infuriated me. I had learned her name, Uzumaki Naruto, and had made my goal to beat her in our placement tests. I had thought surely, if I could do better than her, I could do better than anyone else in class. I still hadn't entirely succeeded in beating all of her scores at the end of the week, which just made my burn to prove myself better than her hotter, especially after my father's... lecture on the expectations of... being an Uchiha.

But I haven't thought about her since... _that _night.

She is standing there, apart from the crowd again, watching from a distance. I think I remember the other two blonde girls off to my side now. Haven't I seen her sitting with them? But clearly she isn't interested in joining them here, talking to me. Instead of being insulted, I am inwardly relieved. Uzumaki Naruto, at least, isn't interested in gossiping about the personal losses of others.

I stare at her a moment too long, and she looks up and meets my eyes. I am about to look away quickly, to pretend I wasn't staring at her... but then I stop and look at her eyes again. Really look. I go numb at what I find.

The emptiness in her eyes... I can feel an echo of it inside me. The darkness, the haunted expression on her face, is alarmingly familiar. It's like looking in a mirror. And as she stares back at me, unembarrassedly, I can see nothing but true understanding. True, genuine understanding. This person... she's not just pretending to understand. She really does. She knows what it is to be empty.

I didn't think there _was _anyone like that. It seemed hopeless, like I was always going to be alone forever afterward... and now, abruptly, disorientedly, I'm not.

A hand lands on my shoulder, and I throw it off and whirl to face the person touching me, on pins and needles. One of Uzumaki Naruto's blonde friends pulls her hand back, face pale, eyes wide. I can't even imagine what I must look like. I slowly relax, letting my blank mask fall back into place again. Damnit. I told myself I could handle this. I told myself I could handle being around other people. I told all those bastards holding me into those stupid, white hospital rooms that I could handle being around other people. But that _girl _has managed to mess me up already...

_Who is she? _I don't mean to say it out loud, but I know I have when Yamanaka's expression becomes confused. Hiding my discomfort at speaking without meaning to, I tilt my head up and pretend I meant to say it. "_Her_," I qualify, pointing through the crowd. Almost everyone turns to look at her. She freezes, looking trapped as they stare at her, but I take note of it only vaguely. Some part of me tells me that it's a ridiculous and pointless question because I already know her name, but another part of me wants to hear the question answered anyway. _How _could anyone my age possibly understand...?

Yamanaka and her friend slowly turn to look, then turn back to me, faces tense, eyebrows raised hesitantly. "That's Uzumaki Naruto, the Sandaime's adopted granddaughter. You've met her."

My eyes widen in surprise again, despite myself. _She's the granddaughter of the Hokage? That patronizing old man? _

Then the other word she said catches my attention. "Adopted?" Suddenly, some of the pieces fall together. Unnameable emotions ring through me, emotions that are dangerously and definitely _not _anger and hatred.

"... She's an orphan?"

_**[Scene Break]**_

___Naruto_

As the crowd's attention turns slowly back to Uchiha Sasuke, I catch my breath and hurry away, to anywhere but where he can look at me like that again. With those empty eyes.

I need to find a place far away from that boy. A place where I can regain my equilibrium.

"Naruto!" I turn despite myself as I hear my name. Shikamaru and Chouji are sitting off to the side, near the front fence. Even Shikamaru looks concerned as they stare at me. I must seem like I've just seen a ghost.

Quickly, gratefully, I hurry over to sit down with them.

"Are you okay?" Chouji asks immediately as I sit down. "You don't look very good. We saw the Uchiha Sasuke Crowd staring at you for a minute there. Maybe he remembers you?"

I swallow. Somehow, I don't think that's it, but I can't explain to them why without explaining my past. "I don't know. Maybe," I say quietly.

Shikamaru is still staring at me. Hard.

"Look, it's just... it's a horrible thing to have happened, like you said. That's all," I assure him. Shikamaru still doesn't look convinced, but he says nothing more.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Ino and Sakura immediately descend upon me when we enter our class together after lunch.

"Did you _see _that? Did you _see _the way he looked at you? Do you think he recognizes you?" they ask excitedly, breathlessly. There is no disapproval as to _why _he would remember me in them _now_.

I am confused at their reactions. Why are they so excited over Uchiha Sasuke merely recognizing someone? I give them the same answer I gave Shikamaru and Chouji, either way. "I don't know. Maybe." My tone is quiet, but they don't seem to notice. They are staring at Uchiha Sasuke across the room again.

"Wow," Ino sighs, "he's so _cool_, isn't he?"

I look over, and all I see is emptiness again. I can't find anything cool about that. Apparently, rowdy Inuzuka Kiba, sitting next to him, can't find anything cool about it either, because he's giving Sasuke some very uncomfortable glances and trying to scoot subtly away from him.

I sigh and turn back to the book I had in my bookbag, tuning out Ino's and Sakura's quiet giggling and whispering over _Sasuke _again. Then they suddenly gasp and stop. I raise an eyebrow and look up, wondering if they're done for the period. They're both staring at me. "What?"

"He's _staring_ at you again," Ino whispers. "All intense, like he used to."

I blink and turn to look, ignoring Ino's and Sakura's hissing of, "Don't look at him!" Sure enough, there he is, giving me an intense, unerring, black-eyed stare. This is much easier to deal with than the empty eyes from before, and I raise a questioning, challenging eyebrow at him. He just continues to stare at me, if anything, with _more _intensity than before. "Not very embarrassed, is he?" I say calmly to my slightly hysterical friends. "He looks a bit like he's trying to burn a hole in my head with the power of his mind."

They gape at me incredulously, presumably at my lack of reaction. I ignore this. If Sasuke isn't going to approach me, I have no interest in him, so I ignore him as well and go back to my book. No one says anything to me again, and so I am absorbed in my reading until class starts.

We have more practical, physical classes in the afternoons. Of course, Sasuke is in all of them. Now in a slightly calmer frame of mind, I have to wonder who besides the universe actually arranged this. It can't be healthy for the boy to stare at anything that hard for that long. Not to mention, being the one getting stared at does become a bit uncomfortable and confusing after a while. I have to regret my actions this morning.

Once the final bell rings and school is over, I hurry out of my classroom, duck through the crowds, out of the doors, and am off of the school property in under a minute. I am done with Shikamaru's and Chouji's concerned questions, Ino's and Sakura's hysterical excitement, and Uchiha Sasuke's strangeness and disconcerting behavior. Thank God today's a Friday.

I run all the way to the Kabaji, wishing once again that I could roof-hop. I have to stop and take a few deep breaths once I get to the back door. "Are you alright?" the owner asks in an old, crackly voice.

I stare at her in surprise for a moment (it is the first time I have ever heard her speak). Then I recover and say, "Yes, I'm fine, thank you," very politely. I hurry through the back door.

All the other girls are there onstage. Chichi is sitting off to the side, putting on her slippers, as usual. I collapse down next to her.

She glances at me. "You look slightly ill," she noted matter-of-factly.

"Uchiha Sasuke came back today," I reply in tired exasperation, and even Chichi's eyes widen for a moment.

"What happened?" she asks, sounding more concerned.

"My friends are ridiculous!" I explode. "They were giggling over how 'cool' he was all day! He didn't look cool! You know what he looked like? He looked like a kid whose entire family was just _murdered _in front of him! It was _disturbing_!"

Chichi blinks at my vehemence. "Try to ignore it," she says. I turn to stare at her. "Ignore it," she repeats. "The thing he would want right now is not to have to think about it. Not so soon after it's happened. Treat him as you would any other. In summary, ignore it. It would be the best thing for all parties involved."

I stare at her more for a moment. "That's really smart," I finally say.

"I know," she replies simply. I can't help grinning at this. "I shall have to ask my cousin about it," Chichi adds thoughtfully. "The reaction of the general student population sounds irrational enough that he will have noticed it."

"Your cousin?" I ask in confusion.

"My cousin, Aburame Shino, is in your class," she tells me.

I brighten immediately. "Really?"

"Really," she says, leaning her ear slightly away from my shout in a resigned sort of way.

"Well, why didn't you say so before? I'll have to talk to him..."

"He shouldn't be too hard to find," Chichi says. "He'll be the one searching the largest tree for bugs."

I blink at this, but before I can ask, Saiko-sensei bursts through the curtain. "Line up!" she shouts.

We all hurry into line even quicker than usual, and for good reason. We are beginning a special dance routine today, one we will be practicing for the next month, nonstop.

The first Konoha festival we are to perform at is in October.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Author's Notes: Naruto hasn't but two and two together yet, but I'm sure some of you just have. Expect a month-long time skip next chapter. We won't be getting to the festival right away, though. And don't worry, I will cover Sasuke and Shino, too. Plus, more Ino and Sakura ridiculousness, and we find out people are preparing for the festival in all sorts of ways. All next chapter!

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

_One Month Later_

_Naruto_

A month passes, and I become able to concentrate with Uchiha Sasuke in my classes again. He is now never empty, never blank, never alien, never distant, never lifeless... never disturbing to me. Instead, I have a different problem with him.

I am not sure at what exact point Uchiha Sasuke decided to focus all of his life's energies toward being a better shinobi than I am.

This morning is no different from the usual ritualistic routine. I sit in between Shikamaru and Chouji for my first period, and Uchiha Sasuke is already there, sitting directly behind the seat I am always in, a constant presence at my back, his eyes burning holes into the back of my head. Shikamaru and Chouji find this equally as annoying as I do, and we've tried all sorts of things to keep Uchiha Sasuke from sitting directly behind me and staring at me unerringly during the entire ten-minute period before class starts.

We moved and sat in different seats around the room each morning. He just waited a couple of minutes, and then moved after us, and then continued staring at me from behind.

I moved to sit beside Sakura and Ino after talking to Chouji and Shikamaru. He moved after me, but then he had to suffer the dreamy sighs, giggling, hesitant questions, and sideways looks from Sakura and Ino all period, which he clearly finds uncomfortable and irritatingly distracting. I thought this method of sticking with Sakura and Ino would work, but then one morning, when I stood up to move from Shikamaru and Chouji's place to Ino and Sakura's place across the room, I suddenly and inexplicably tripped over something shaped suspiciously like a foot, and instead of falling forward like I meant to, for some reason I fell back into the chair I'd already been in. I looked up and glared suspiciously at Uchiha Sasuke... who smirked, infuriatingly smug, at me. He didn't even look like he'd moved. Before I could do anything, the teacher walked in.

The message was clear: Sasuke wanted me around, but he didn't want Sakura and Ino around with me.

This was around the time I finally confronted him and demanded to know what his problem was... not only because of what he did every morning, but because of what he did during actual class time as well, which was a whole different scenario and set of problems.

I walked up to his desk one morning before second period started and glared at him, hard, standing over him. He looked quietly triumphant, as well as challenging, as he tilted his head back up at me purposefully. It was annoying, because I had the suspicious feeling that I was doing exactly what he'd wanted. "_What_," I hissed, "_do you want_?" My fists were clenched. I couldn't remember ever being this angry at a classmate before.

He stared at me for a moment, his expression slowly morphing into a glare. "Nothing," he replied shortly, sullenly, doing a sudden 180. "I just wanted to make sure you knew I was there." He still sounded a tiny bit smug at the end.

"How could I not?" I snapped shortly. "You're still not exactly subtle." I didn't mean to reference our first meeting, but as soon as I did, his glare returned, with all the intensity of his usual stare behind it. His eyes were two molds of pure black lead.

"What do you know?" he snapped coldly.

I sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere. "Look," I finally said, trying to be calmer, "could you please just... lay off a little?"

"Why?" he half-sneered, his eyes flashing. "Not up to the challenge?"

I clenched my teeth tightly. "I didn't know there was a competition," I bit out.

His eyes widened in true surprise for a moment. Then he relaxed and gave his annoying smirk again. "Shows how observant_ you_ are," he said, and behind the arrogance and dark anger, there was a note of honesty to the statement that had me walking away, straight-backed, my fists still clenched, my face working furiously.

Ino and Sakura are incredibly envious of me ("why don't you ever _acknowledge_ him?") but Shikamaru and Chouji are a bit more serious. "You should ask one of the teachers to move him," Chouji told me once, "or talk to him. You should tell someone about it."

"I doubt he'd listen to the teachers anyway," Shikamaru analyzed, his eyes distant, focused on something in his own mind.

I nodded. "Besides," I said, "Sasuke has... issues. That's all this is. He just needs something else to focus on." I'd had my family. He didn't have... anything.

Shikamaru glanced over at me with narrow eyes. "That doesn't mean you have to be the brunt of it," Chouji reminded me incredulously. I didn't reply.

Chichi has been the most useful in advice. "Just ignore him," she says simply. "Forget he's there. If he wants to watch you and measure himself against you, that's his problem. And it is not against any set rules for him to do so. Your job is to stop letting it bother you so much. As long as you're nearby, it doesn't seem like he'll interfere with anything you're actually doing. Take advantage of that."

Speaking of Chichi... I break from my memories as I see her cousin, Aburame Shino, walk into my fourth period class this morning. "Hi, Shino!" I call, beaming, waving to him. Shino turns and stares at me for a moment through the dark glasses he uses to cover his eyes. Then, quietly, he nods in my direction and walks over to sit by me. He does not ask for permission to sit down - it is illogical to repeat questions after having initially been given an affirmative response, according to him - and he says nothing as he takes out his perfectly, meticulously organized notebook and puts all his pencils in exact order on the desk in front of it. They are put in the exact same spot every day.

I first met Shino just a few days after Sasuke came back.

_It was lunchtime, and I was bored. Ino and Sakura and their girlfriends had taken to their new habit of spending lunch trying to find Uchiha Sasuke so they could talk to him (everyone's been trying to figure out where Sasuke disappears to during lunch, but so far no one has had any luck; I have a sneaking suspicion he might just screw the rules and go home) and, as I had no interest in this, I was trying to find other people to sit with during lunch. I'd been wandering around, trying to find Shikamaru and Chouji, for only a couple of minutes before something else caught my eye. A tall boy with shortly cut dark hair, a long zipped-up grey trenchcoat, and dark glasses hiding his eyes was kneeling next to the roots of a tall tree, examining something on the bark. I stood there, wondering what he was doing, for a moment, before I suddenly remembered Chichi's description of her mysterious cousin who was supposed to be around my age: 'he'll be the one searching the largest tree for bugs.' _

_Now that I thought of it, I realized with a thrill of excitement that Shino did look a little like Chichi. They had the same dark hair, and the same pale, sharp nose... "Hey!" I said suddenly, running toward him. He didn't look up. "Hey!" I shouted again, reaching him and tapping his shoulder. he jumped up so quickly that I jumped back, reaching for a kunai automatically... Then I realized that I'd just startled him with my touch._

_We stood there for a moment, staring at each other awkwardly, each frozen in a half-tense position._

_I recovered and stood straight, brushing a strand of blonde hair back from my face and making an effort to smile. "Hi," I said. "My name's Naruto. You're Aburame Chichi's cousin, right?"_

_He relaxed his shoulders and stared at me. "... Yes," he finally said, his voice just as solemn and quiet as Chichi's. _

_I waited for him to introduce himself... and he just continued to stand there, staring at me. "Erm... Shino, right?" I finally continued, a little uncomfortable, but still smiling nonetheless. _

_A single nod. He still wouldn't take his eyes off of me. His face was even more expressionless than Chichi's._

_"Well, I know your cousin because we go to the same dance classes," I told him. "With Saiko-sensei? We're performing next month at the festival. But of course, you probably already know that. Chichi told you, right? I figured she would. She's really nice, your cousin. I like her a lot. She's told me about you. She said you'd be the one searching the largest tree for bugs, so I figured you were him, and it turns out you are, and I thought I'd come say hi to you, and now I have, and..." I realized I was babbling. "And I'm going to stop talking now," I said awkwardly. "Sorry."  
_

_He gave no reaction that he'd even heard me._

_There was a long silence._

_I was just about to count this off as Officially the Most Embarrassing Experience of My Life and walk away... when Shino actually spoke voluntarily. "Thank you for your consideration," he said quietly. "But conversation is not my greatest area of expertise." His tone was matter-of-fact._

_I bit off my initial response of, 'yeah, I'd noticed,' and said instead brightly, "Well, you could always practice."_

_"That seems... undesirable."_

_I wilted. "Oh."_

_There was ANOTHER long silence._

_Then I happened to glance over at the tree beside him, and I realized what he'd been watching: an ant trail. I blinked curiously, as I was suddenly flooded with bittersweet, reminiscent memories of staring down through the cracked boards of my Room's wooden floor, watching ants building an anthill with fascination, on the Day Everything Changed._

_"You were watching them?" I asked him softly, watching the ants' slow, meticulous, careful climb up the tree, the epitome of their world._

_"... Indeed," I heard Shino's voice say. I had spent enough time around Chichi to be able to detect the subtle note of surprise in the Aburame's voice. "I find them interesting."_

_I looked up at him and smiled more quietly, because I could understand this perfectly. "Yes," I said sincerely, "so do I."_

_We spent the entire period watching the ants climb without saying a single word to each other, and somehow left the playground as friends._

Now, Shino sits beside me every day in fourth period class, with Uchiha Sasuke glaring at him the entire time - I find this worthy of note, since it's the only time during the day that he stops staring at _me_. I asked Shino once apologetically if this bothered him. Shino looked over at me, and said in that same matter-of-fact tone, "I know why you put up with him. I find your attempts to give him some form of psychological stability to be inspiring, as well as endearingly like watching an ant trying to lift a crumb five sizes too big for it." He then went back to what he'd been doing.

I spent so long wondering whether he'd just complimented me or insulted me that I only realized much later that he'd never answered the question.

Either way, Shino continued to sit beside me every day in fourth period, and to spend time with Shikamaru, Chouji, and I during lunch, and during the taijustu class we all have together after lunch. Shikamaru and Chouji were a little uncertain of him at first, but once they realized he was simply very quiet and blunt, as well as just as much of an oddball as they were, they accepted him as part of the little group the four of us have somehow formed. I now spend most lunches under the huge tree on the outskirts of the Academy's back playground, watching ants with Shino and making jokes with Shikamaru and Chouji. Shikamaru says the spot under the shade of the tree is perfect for laying back and watching the clouds, and Chouji doesn't care where he eats as long as he has good food, so that tree has sort of become our spot... a bit like perching on the edge of the stage with Chichi before and after dancing is our spot as well. It saddens me that Ino and Sakura have been so busy with Sasuke and girly things lately that I couldn't find a place like that with them, but it's their choice. We do still see each other sometimes, during classes and on weekends.

I pull myself from my reverie as the teacher walks into the classroom. "Quiet!" she commands. The students fall silent.

The teacher spends a minute taking roll call, and then she looks up at the students' anticipating faces. "Outside," she says obligingly, and there is the immediate scraping of thirty chairs as everyone heads out behind the playground to the target range. I walk with Shino across the grass amid the crowd of other students, not bothering to get my kunai out. I'll probably spend the period helping other students anyway. I do my own, more advanced aiming practice with senbon, kunai, and shuriken during my own individual training.

The teacher gives the rest of the students their assignment, and then she and I start walking down the row, behind the different students aiming kunai and shuriken at the targets. I wait, tensed with annoyance... and sure enough, it doesn't take very long for it to happen.

Uchiha Sasuke stops shooting five out of fives long enough to raise his hand, staring pointedly in my direction.

I'm tempted to just ignore him and let Sensei deal with it when she sees him, but Sensei is off helping another student with a handling problem and he's still staring at me. No one else's hand is raised. So, reluctantly, I finally walk up to him, glaring.

"You seem to be doing just fine," I note flatly, looking at his perfect target.

"I feel like I'm not doing it right," he says blithely, tilting his head back stubbornly. "I want to see how you would aim this with your kunai."

He does this during almost every weapons practice now. He makes me shoot the same as he did, and if I do better than him, he glares and then uses it for the rest of the period as a template to improve his own accuracy, not satisfied until he can do what I did. If I fake it and just do worse than him to get him off my back, he can always tell, and he gets even angrier and demands brattishly that I do it again.

The same in our academic classes. When the teacher's doing a lecture, if I answer a question correctly, he stares at me hard and then has to answer a question right as well. When we're doing individual work, he sits near me and stares over my shoulder every so often to make sure I haven't gotten too much farther ahead than him. When we're taking a test, he does the same thing, and when we get the tests back, he compares our scores with stubborn frustration.

Sakura and Ino are incredibly envious of me. What I call "fixation," they choose to call "interest."

"He's paying attention to you and you don't even care!" Ino once burst out in frustration. "Do you know how many other people around here want him to pay half as much attention as he does to you?" Sakura is nodding along, her expression a mix of envious, awed, and disapproving.

"I don't see why," I snapped defensively. "Trust me, it's not all that great. He's annoying."

"He's _not _annoying!" Sakura insists unexpectedly, heatedly. "Stop saying that!"

I have stopped talking about Sasuke at all in their presence. It's never a pleasant topic for us.

**_[Scene Break]_**

_Sasuke_

I have decided she is to be my rival. My goal to beat.

She is fit for it. Talented, especially when compared to the other examples of her gender, and hard-working even in the rare classes she doesn't excel in. Focused, obviously focused, in the way she dresses, in her insights in class, in the way she concentrates on her work. Composed, not ridiculous and giggly like the other girls in our class. Nor is she envious and rowdy, nor odd and unmotivated, like so many of the boys. She is unique, her own person, simply herself, and perfectly fine in that. Comfortable in her independence. Firmly spoken. Genuinely competitive. Yes, she is a fit rival.

She also continues to completely dismiss me.

Well... not completely. She notices me now. I make sure of that. She knows I'm there, right behind her, catching up to her. But she treats me as an annoyance still. I am aware of how she sees me. Naruto, always looking ahead of her, does not want to bother taking time to look behind for me. More than that, I think I make her uncomfortable. I see her looking at me sometimes, in that way she did on the day I came back. That sideways, haunted, frustrated look. No doubt she remembers what it is to lose, as I do, but does not want to.

I cannot blame her for that. I do not want to remember either. We are alike in this, in our orphaned status. Another reason to choose her as a rival to improve my abilities against.

A friend, I cannot have. If I am to be an avenger, a true avenger, I cannot afford to make any more connections. I have to be truly alone, no matter how hard it is. I cannot pull anyone else down with me into the abyss I am throwing myself in.

A rival, however... a rival to improve against... That would simply be... mutually beneficial.

One day, she will see me as that. As a rival. I work hard to improve my abilities, to make her notice, to make her see that I _can _measure up to her, forcing myself to keep in her view whenever possible. In the meantime, I watch and I learn as much about her as I can.

Contrary to my initial impression, she doesn't seem to be close friends with Yamanaka Ino or Haruno Sakura. They are distant friends, of a sort, but nothing more than that. I feel some relief at this realization, even as I am annoyed that they can use her to be around me at all. Naruto is much closer friends with two boys in our class, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. Odd choices in friends, but they are not annoying boys, and they are much better than Sakura or Ino any day of the week. Besides, I don't really know enough about them to make much of a judgment. I am neutral to their friendship, and it simply becomes one of the vague pieces of information I know about Naruto, like so many others.

Then she makes friends with that Aburame boy, _Shino_. This galls me. Not because I know Shino personally in any way, but because it makes me realize that Naruto is perfectly open to the idea of new friendships and new connections... when she chooses to accept the recipient.

Of course, this should not bother me as much as it does, because I do not want a friend. Not even in Naruto. But still... the idea of Naruto accepting Shino and dismissing me is strangely infuriating. _What does Shino have that I don't?_

... It doesn't matter, I always tell myself. It doesn't matter, because Naruto is going to acknowledge me as her rival anyway. She is going to see me as worthwhile, as someone worth fighting.

I'll make her see.

**_[Scene Break]_**

_Naruto_

I am wearing formal kimono for the first time in months, but not for my first dance recital. Jiji surprised me by unexpectedly announcing a few days before the festival is due to start that he is meeting with the Fire Daimyo and his most trusted court members, who have come to Konoha for its first major festival of the year, for another dinner party. But this time, instead of the feast being held at our house, the feast is going to be held at the Fire Court's guest quarters. I am to go with Jiji, as is Asuma-jii. Asuma-jii is quite unenthused by this idea.

_"I agree to become a shinobi again," he told me and Ko exasperatedly, "and what does he do to repay me? He makes me go to some stuffy dinner party and try to make conversation with some nobles! Thanks, Dad, I haven't had enough bad childhood memories brought up lately already! Now I can go to a dinner party and listen to them all demean me when they learn that until recently, I actually worked for them, and am therefore beneath their notice! That sounds like fun! Doesn't that sound like fun? Gee, I really want to stay in Konoha now!"_

_Ko and I stared at him as he stood there in the backyard, red-faced and panting. "Don't worry, Asuma-jii," I finally said. "It's only for a couple of hours."_

_"Yeah," Ko grumbled, "I wish I was old enough to go with you guys." _

_No," Asuma-jii told him, "you only think you do. Trust me. I remember that phase."_

_"Hey, I'm not going through a phase!" Ko said indignantly. _

_"Oh yeah, I forgot. You're one of those miraculous kids who's magically immune to phases."_

_Ko tackled him._

In the end, though, Asuma-jii did agree to go to the dinner party, so he and Jiji are dressed in their formal dark men's kimono, and I am in an exquisite dark blue kimono with stars embroidered into it, my hair piled up in a shiny twist on top of my head, with one long piece falling out of the bun and down my back in a golden river. We are standing in the entrance hall, ready to leave to travel through the village and into the Guest Districts. We could have just roof-hopped there, but Jiji says he wants me to see the decorations for the festival going on throughout the village. So the three of us are walking.

"Have the fire made up in the library when I get back," Jiji instructs Aya. "Konohamaru is not getting out of his lesson this evening."

"Yes, sir," she bows to him, and the three of us leave through the huge, open double doors. Once we are through the front gates, Asuma-jii tenses in preparation to tree-hop into the city, but Jiji stops him.

"Asuma. Naruto," he reminds him gently, and I pout at the reminder that I'm the only one who can't get there faster.

Asuma-jii stops and turns to stare at us. "What, she can wall-climb and you haven't bothered to teach her how to tree-hop yet?" he asks incredulously.

"I can't roof-hop, either!" I add quickly, relieved to finally have an adult shinobi on my side. "All those other shinobi just usually travel out of the streets and thoroughfares and over the roofs, but I can't!" I try my best to convey how utterly unfair this is.

"Well, that's useless!" Asuma-jii immediately dismisses. "Come on, Hime, I'll teach you. It'll only take, like, five minutes, and the chakra surrounding your fancy little shoes will even keep them getting all worn out. It's no big deal."

I gasp in delight. "Really?"

"Asuma," Jii intones sternly, "as young as she is, she could injure herself! And she's in kimono!"

"Relax, Jiji, I'll be okay!" I assure him at light-speeds, rushing over to Asuma-jii. Then I stop uncertainly. "... My hair won't get all messed up, will it?"

Asuma stops and snorts. "And you call yourself a shinobi... You're worried about your _hair_?"

"Hey!" I say heatedly, indignant. "I _love _my hair! It's the only part of me I really take good care of! I can't ruin it!"

Asuma sighs and rolls his eyes, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "Alright, alright. I'll teach it to you some other time, okay?"

I beam and nod quickly. Jiji steps between us, looking relieved despite himself. "Very good. Now, let's go." He leads us steadily through the forest path without another word, stepping carefully and avoiding leaves or puddles.

As we start to follow him, Asuma grumbles, "Great. That still doesn't get us there any faster."

I smile at him and, reluctantly, he smirks back.

We both cheer up significantly once we start to hit the long, paved streets of the rich clan districts, though. The huge clan compounds are beautiful, with their fancy traditional houses and surrounding buildings all done up in lights and paper lanterns, and their beautiful gardens full of lovely stone fountains and figurines holding little balls of floating red flame in their basins or their cupped hands. Some of the balls of red fire are floating directly over the water of the fountains, making brilliant reflections and sparks of color all over the sparkling, still pools. "A clever combination of fire chakra and simple seals," Jiji explains, smiling at my awed expression. This is even better than watching the New Years celebrations from the forest.

I can even see the fields beyond the clan compounds, distant and hazy through the lights of the main road. The flower field where Sakura and Ino and I first made friends is covered with paper lanterns hung on poles, which are lined along all the dirt pathways in the field. Below them, nightflowers bloom softly, their petals glowing, as they do every night in my room.

And then we hit the city, which is, if anything, even more magnificent. We walk along the evening streets, Asuma-jii pointing out different things to me as we go. There are huge paper banners and neon signs being lighted in every shop window, colored paper lanterns being hung from every building corner. Vendors are setting up stalls for the festival along all the main thoroughfares, some of them local, some of them foreign, shouting to each other with a huge hustle and bustle. Excitement rends the air, and the aroma of delicious food in preparation for the festival is already beginning to hang around us. In the city center is a being built a huge wooden stage, and I feel a jump of nervousness in the pit of my stomach. I know that one of the performances on that stage on October 10 will be my dancing troupe. And I know on what occasion I will be dancing for: the destruction of the monster sealed inside of me.

Jiji has already told me that I am to dance there, just like everyone else. "Everyone is prepared. ANBU security is set to be extra-tight that night, so nothing should happen. The whole village already knows you'll be there. Just dance on that stage like every other girl in the line. That is your right." Then he gave me a stern look. "And, Naruto? Don't paint the scars on your face with mascara again. We don't need to provoke them."

He knows me too well.

As I walk through the city, however, I can see that he isn't wrong. Everyone does indeed know I'll be performing at the festival in two days' time. People whisper excitedly over me to each other when they see me. Some people actually bow to me as I pass. Startled, I nod back every time, although it makes me rather uncomfortable. The better ones are those who look at me with only mild interest, because of how I'm dressed and who I'm with, and then turn away again.

And then there are those who glare at me and the other people around me darkly, muttering in disgust to each other in tightly packed little groups.

Soon enough, we make it to the Guest Districts. It is a long street of closely packed, magnificently carved wooden buildings set right in the middle of the city. When you get a high enough suite, Jiji has told me, you can see everything in Konoha from any of the buildings in the Guest Districts. It is meant to be this way, a symbol of Konoha's magnificent wealth and power to foreigners. The carving of the wooden buildings is also closely packed and generic to any of the Elemental Countries on purpose, to give the guests a feeling of normality, wherever they are from.

We enter a particularly large building on the left side of the street, practically a palace. The huge double doors are guarded by stiff, immovable guards in strange metal armor with odd masks on their faces that have breathing tubes sticking out of them. I realize these must be samurai, guards at the capital. I cannot imagine Asuma-jii ever being one. They seem to sense that we are who we seem to be, because they bow us inside without a word.

The inside has been lavishly decorated in preparation for our arrival. The huge entrance hall we find ourselves in is decorated in garishly colored silk tapestries, and soft music is playing behind little screens off to the sides of the hall. Unlike at our own feasts, the courtiers here mingle amongst each other freely in the entrance hall, smiling and nodding and introducing themselves to each other with haughty words and smugly self-satisfied smiles. Shigeru-jii's striking description of 'head-meet-ass arrogance' comes to me once again.

The three of us spend the first few minutes simply walking around, smiling and nodding and talking to the different courtiers. Even Asuma-jii has a polite mask firmly in place as he converses pleasantly. I find all the conversation very boring, and since hardly anyone ever bothers to talk to me, I do not like this 'courtier mingling' very much. Finally, though, a familiar face catches my eye. As we are introduced to yet another fabulously important courtier, the little boy standing next to him bows as well. "This is my son, Nezumi Katsuya," the courtier says haughtily, and I smile widely as I recognize the brunette boy with the quiet, polite expression and the shy manner.

"Katsuya-san!" I murmur in delight, as my grandfather and my uncle begin conversing with the banker. Katsuya looks up and sees me, and his eyes widen in recognition.

"Naruto-san," he murmurs back in surprise. Then he smiles shyly. "You remember me."

"Hai. What's with all this?" I whisper, coming over to stand beside him. I wrinkle my nose. "It's so pompous and boring."

He snorts in surprise, smiling a little. "Careful who hears that," he warns seriously.

"You're right. I should make sure someone very important hears it."

"That's not quite what I had in mind," Katsuya points out, but his smile is wider.

Before long, Katsuya murmurs to me that no one will notice if the children go off somewhere else, and we can just leave while the adults are talking if we really want to. I think about murmuring back that my grandfather and uncle will definitely notice me wandering off, but in the end I decide not to get into the details of shinobi sensing with the courtier's son. We quietly sneak off, winding our way through the crowds and crowds of silk-covered legs around us, until we finally duck behind a magnificently carved wooden screen to a huge, hot, bustling, noisy place full of hundreds of stoves with servants slaving over them, sweaty, shouting and cursing to each other. The kitchens, where the meal for the evening almost seems to be ready.

Katsuya takes my hand and maneuvers me through the long set of kitchens with the ease of long experience, and before long we find ourselves in a small closet-like room with a simple, round wooden table in the middle of it, with place setting mats set around the table neatly, as if in preparation for someone to eat there. There is a window on the far side of the room, showing the side of an adjacent wooden building.

"The servants sometimes eat in rooms like these," Katsuya explains, "but they let me eat in here as well. I don't like having to eat and talk in the huge great hall. We can stay in here during the meal if you want to."

I agree, because I think the room is dear, although it could use some flowers to decorate it. I tell Katsuya so, and he laughs and tells me he'll be sure to relay that to the cooks.

I have a very good time sitting back there in the servants' room, letting one of the cooks come in and give us serving utensils and food to eat, smoothing "Katsuya-chan's" hair back every time they do and making him blush furiously. Katsuya asks me about my servants, and my younger brother, and my shinobi trainer, and about the new uncle I have with me at the party. Eventually, he even gathers up the courage to ask wonderingly what my grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure, is like.

I answer his questions eagerly, describing my family as best I can, eager to share with him. In turn, I ask and I learn a bit more about him. I tease him that, for someone who asked me in confusion why I talked to my servants, he sure seemed to know _his _pretty well. So he explains that he doesn't like the Court, and he doesn't make friends easily with the other kids, and he especially hates huge party gatherings, and as such he spends a lot of time hiding away in the servants' quarters, where no one ever goes. He talks a little bit about the different friends he's made in different Fire Court servants, and about the huge mansion his family has right near the Daimyo's palace back at the capital, and about his sick mother who lives back there and can't travel much, but is his favorite person in the whole world. He does not mention his haughty father, who wishes he was better at finance and wants him to inherit his title.

We talk about books... mysteries and fantasies and action adventures, mostly. We discuss favorite books we've read, and new books we're reading, and things that annoy us in books. We both agree that the most annoying thing in the world is a piece of writing with no point to it, even if the point is only to entertain the reader. Katsuya describes some of the plays he has seen at the capital that are based off of books he's read, and I listen to the descriptions in awed detail. He tells me that perhaps if I ever visit the capital, I can see some of these plays with him and his mother, who also loves the local theater. I mention that there is a festival that my dance teacher, Saiko-sensei, has told my dancing class about, where every major dance troupe in the Fire Country comes during every summer to perform. It is supposed to be a major cultural event over all the Elemental Countries - they have given it a grand name, The Festival of the Flame - and Saiko-sensei is considering entering my class in the youngest tier if we perform well at local Konoha festivals this year.

"You are a dancer?" Katsuya says in surprise.

"Yes. In addition to shinobi training, I am also going through dance training under an instructor at the Kabaji Theater. We have theater there, too, you know, just nothing like the theater productions that come through the capital... well, that's what Jiji says, anyway. Saiko-sensei has entered our dance troupe into the festival the Court has come for, the one for the defeat of the Kyuubi on October 10." It seems so odd to say the name out loud, when the beast is inside of me. Does Katsuya notice the way I dim slightly?

But he is smiling at me. "I will have to look for your performance at the festival, then."

I grin, relieved. "You'd better! All my other friends are going to be there!"

He stares at me for a moment... and then a small, glowing smile grows on his face.

It ends up being the best night I have ever had in the presence of the Fire Court... even if I _do _have to endure Asuma-jii's teasing about "having a boyfriend" all the way back to the mansion later.

**_[Scene Break]_**

Author's Notes: An extra-long one for all you lovely people, for having to wait a month more than usual. I wish I could say that progress on my other story is going as well, but between college applications and the normal stresses of school... ugh. Things should start to slow down a little bit after Christmas and the New Year. Until then, just stick with me, faithful readers! I'll try to keep on my updates, but there's no guarantees.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	21. Chapter 20

_Chapter Twenty_

I take great care the first time I dress in my festival kimono.

The members of Saiko-sensei's youngest dance troupe have to be in the huge backstage area erected behind the built-up wooden stage by 5:30 on the evening of October 10, because the dance troupes are the first to perform at the festival, with fireworks planned to shoot up behind them at the end of their performance, the music booming around them, to kick off the entire event. Saiko-sensei has emphasized to us the extraordinary importance of this so many times that I can tell even Chichi has gotten nervous the quicker the festival approaches. Two silent, stoic, masked ANBU lead me through town to the backstage area in the late afternoon sunlight, past all the stalls and the unlighted paper lanterns and the unlighted neon signs, with frantic workers bustling around them and making last-minute preparations for the start of the festival in just a couple of hours. I can also espy shinobi stationed innocuously on rooftops and in shadowed alleyways, attesting to the heavy security that has been set up around the main part of the city for this evening. And I know that for every shinobi I can spot, there have to be at least two more better-hidden ones.

I hurry through the back door to the wooden trailer that is connected to the back of the erected stage. The ANBU wait outside, standing guard around the trailer. I don't wait to see if their guard duty is assigned as hidden or unhidden.

The huge trailer is crowded and noisy, filled with a ruckus of squealing and excitement and shrieks and complaints and entreaties. Girls of all ages, from Saiko-sensei's youngest to the experienced woman dancers, run around, dressed in thin white underrobes, their makeup half-done, their hair up in messy buns, asking someone for a hair piece or to help them adjust something. As I walk toward what I know will be my troupe's dressing room at the end of the long trailer, I pass by different rooms and open doorways, where girls are hotly accusing each other of stealing their clothes, girls are carefully applying makeup or doing their hair meticulously in front of their mirrors, girls are chatting and giggling to each other in excitement and anticipation. Some girls are even undressing, half-naked, right there with their door open. Clearly, since we are all women, there is no such thing as modesty here.

I finally make it to my troupe's door at the end of the hall, where there seems to be something slamming against the closed door or the wall beside it. I open the door and go inside to find girls sprinting with abandon up and down the short room, running into walls and into each other, giggling, too excited to stand still. A few scream when I come in, just to be loud, and then start giggling again like mad. The rest of the girls are standing in front of the mirrors on one side of the room, preparing themselves, sighing and rolling their eyes in annoyance at the noise behind them. A few of the bossier girls occasionally yell at everyone else to be quiet, with little effect. My eyes scan the room for Chichi, and I eventually spot her sitting on a chair in a corner of the room, as close to being curled up as she can be without ruining the perfectly smooth dancing kimono she already has on. Her expression is long-suffering at the atmosphere around her. I grin and walk up to her.

"So," I say, "enjoying ourselves already, are we?"

"Yes, and your presence has just made it even better. Because I have previously shown myself to have such an appreciation for the fine art of sarcasm," Chichi deadpans. My grin widens unrepentantly. Chichi's lips twitch reluctantly, and she points to a rack standing near her. "Our troupe's kimono are hung there for us to put on, and the hair and face materials are on the tables in front of the mirrors. Your kimono and materials for the year should all have your name on them, according to Saiko-sensei."

"Okay, thanks," I say curiously, wandering over to the rack. To my frustration, I have to stand on my tiptoes to see the names written in black pen on each kimono tag (sometimes being short just isn't fair) but I can find mine fairly easily, nonetheless. It's very small and slim, so much so that it had to be specially ordered for me.

As I wrap myself delicately in all the fine kimono fabric, doing the whole process carefully so that I leave no wrinkles in the gown, and then apply my makeup and do up my hair, I consider the standard outfit appointed by Saiko-sensei for all the girls in my particular dancing group.

Our kimono are done up in the country's colors, red and orange, both colors I particularly like. The patterns are strange, though. The kimono has a crimson background, decorated with simple orange flowers, in the design children use when drawing daisies. The flowers are only scattered along the bottom half of the robe, fading away into plain red up at the top. The entire outer lapel is also done up in flame orange, layering over the white of the underrobe. The thick obi wrapped about our waists are aqua blue and white. The kimono seem no heavier than usual, but I still wonder how hot we all will get actually dancing in them.

The hair and makeup are simple, mostly because there is so little time that all of us girls have to be able to do it for ourselves. Our hair is done up in a tight bun held up with dark, polished, lacquered wooden bamboo sticks. Our makeup is the white face mask of professional performers. True to my promise to Jiji, I let the white makeup hide my scars this time, although I don't know if I particularly like it.

After I am done getting ready, it is not long at all before someone knocks on the dressing room door. An older girl, also already dressed, bursts into the room. "Everyone has to line up!" she barks, and rushes back out again to tell another dressing room full of girls. There are a few gasps throughout the room, and as everyone glances nervously at each other, smiling, I feel a rush of anticipation in my chest. I grab Chichi's hand and we push out into the crowd of fancily clad girls thronging the rickety corridor. At the head of the trailer, where the door leading onto the stage is, we line up in six lines, according to our groups, in the order we will be performing. The women performers will go first, followed by my group, then the other groups in order of age, saving the girls aged around eighteen for last. No one performance will be very long, so we all have to stand perfectly still and silent as we wait for our turn to go ahead onto the stage. Hushed, excited whispers grow among the group as we hear the crowd outside, standing in the street in front of the stage. I know that Jiji, Asuma-jii, Aya, Sanken, Konohamaru, Megumi, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino and his and Chichi's immediate family, and even Katsuya should all be there to see the dance performances, along with a few of my teachers at the Academy and many members of the Fire Court itself.

I turn back and grin at Chichi, suddenly, strangely, intensely excited instead of nervous. "Here we go!" I whisper. "You ready?"

Chichi studies my face for a moment, and then she gives a small, genuine smile and a nod.

At that moment, Saiko-sensei bursts in front of the lines from a place off to the side of the stage, her fiercest, sternest expression firmly in place. She looks as if she has been busy all afternoon and evening. Everyone falls completely silent at her face.

"We have all worked hard for this," she begins, her voice strong even though it is quiet. "We have gone over everything beforehand, we have prepared for everything possible. You are all great; I would not have chosen you if you weren't. Now it is time for you to show your greatness. I expect nothing less than success." She gazes around at us all piercingly, and then, suddenly, she smiles. It is the first time I have ever seen her do so. "The work is over. Now must come the passion."

Beaming up at her, excitement and pride filling my heart, I lift my chin up and bounce on my feet a little. I cannot wait to begin.

Saiko-sensei rushes away, back onto the stage in front of us, so that we can partially see her from where we're standing. I hear the crowd fall silent as the dancing mistress approaches the mic. "Welcome," she says grandly, her voice echoing out over the speakers, "to the eighth annual Kyuubi Victory Celebration!" The crowd bursts into applause, with a smattering of cheers. I can see Saiko-sensei turn and hurry briskly offstage. She isn't one for many words.

Perhaps this is traditional, because the woman dancers to my left do not hesitate. They immediately start moving in a neat, graceful, orderly line, filing out front and across the stage one by one with fast steps, so as not to create a lull. Craning my neck sideways, I can see the backs of the last six of them as they take their places in formation across the grand, polished stage. Then the live band away from my line of vision performs a crash of music and a boom of low drums, and they all raise their arms gracefully in unison. From there, suddenly, they never stop moving.

I thought I was a good dancer. I was wrong. These dancers... they're _incredible_.

The music rushes forward in the strange, low, undulating, strung-together, chaotic rhythm that I have come to associate with traditional Fire Country instrumental music. The dancers, however, keep up effortlessly with the music that is playing for them. The hardest part of traditional Northwestern dancing, according to Saiko-sensei - next to the perfect synchronization of group movements - is that you have to combine small, flowing twists and expressive gestures with the incredible speed of the natural music, without making the steps look short and staccato. The women on the stage before me do so calmly, perfectly, their bodies performing beautifully the greatest of movements to the slightest, barely visible gestures that I know must have taken them weeks to get to that level. Moving as one, at times they are simply a blurred line of color and silk. It is awe-inspiring.

_I want to look like that someday, _is the dim, distant thought floating through my mind.

I am only broken from my trance when the music halts as suddenly as it began. The women throw their bodies around in one final twist and then duck down onto their knees, going completely still. Only the movements of their shoulders as they breathe heavily are visible.

There is silence for one pregnant moment... and then the entire crowd bursts into wild applause.

Backstage, the lines are now moving down, my line stepping sideways clumsily to take the spot in front to go onstage, the other lines shifting down in their order to make room for the women as they file back offstage and walk silently down the hall, into the back trailer to get undressed again, their expressions satisfied. My line eyes each other nervously, abruptly terrified to be following up that act. _What was Saiko-sensei thinking, putting us next?_ I think frantically, look back toward Chichi. She is standing straight, her expression matter-of-fact in the darkness of the corridor. She meets my eye. _We must go next, so there is no use worrying, _her face reminds me calmingly. I take a deep breath and nod, facing forward again determinedly. _Let's go._

A crash of cymbals from the band abruptly cuts through the excited chatter of the crowd out front. Everyone falls slowly silent, awaiting the next act.

I pause to take a deep, steadying breath, but the line is already moving forward in front of me, onto the stage.

As I walk out into the chilly night air as slowly and gracefully as I can - it is extremely difficult, to be _thinking_ about something like _walking_ - I concentrate carefully on the brightly lit up stage so that I don't look out into all the faces staring at me in the audience. The band consists of quietly dressed musicians sitting on stools in front of stands with drums and string instruments and sheet music on them, a small group all crowded together in the back and off to the side, so as not to distract from the dancers themselves. The girl in front of me stops and faces forward, and I stop a few feet away from her and slowly turn to face the audience.

I should not have worried about looking at them, I realize. The footlights burn so brightly in my face that I cannot see the audience standing beyond as anything but vague shadow blurs, standing hazily in the distance. I wonder if I am imagining the quiet whisper that runs through the audience as I turn to face everyone.

Then the next second, the music I have learned so well over the past month and a half starts playing. I step back and across my left heel, as I have been instructed, and the dance begins.

Luckily, as always with dancing, it becomes intuitive and instinctual for me as the steps wear on. I forget about having to think through what I am doing. I just... do it. The steps come so naturally to me that I forget about the eyes on me, about the venue, about the controversial event I am performing at. I tilt my face upward, my eyes half-closed against the view of the clear black expanse of sky sprinkled with stars above, and let the music flow through me, sinking slowly into a blissful reverie...

What seems like ages later, the music stops as abruptly as it always does. I am jolted back to earth by my arm pulling my palm forward in the final move. With an effort, I push my attention back to the audience in front of me.

There is another moment of heavy silence... and then they burst into applause.

I barely have time for the giddy disbelief and joy at their excitement to rush through me, and then the girls in my line are turning slowly, precisely, and filing back offstage.

As soon as we're through the dark hall and away from the stage, in the front entry of the trailer... we all start cheering wildly. Jumping up and down, heedless of my kimono and the sweat I am beginning to realize is a sheen on my face, I spin around and grab a startled Chichi in a wild hug. "WE DID IT!" I squeal. I can hardly understand my own words. They liked me. They really liked me!

After that, everything is perfect. Chichi and I walk outside together after dressing back down more normally (she's in loose grey pants and shirt with her hair up in a bun, and I'm in a short pair of jean shorts and an orange tank top with my hair down around my waist) and everyone's backstage, missing half of the performance just to see us.

"You were _amazing_!" Chouji shouts with rare abandon, throwing his arms wide, his eyes big. Shikamaru nods alongside him, muttering something that sounds like, 'it was troublesome, but I'm glad I came to see it.'

"You were really good," Sakura adds, eyeing me with a mixture of admiration and envy. Ino runs forward to engulf me in a hug.

"Quite exceptional," I hear a quiet voice say behind me, and I look around to see Shino standing there, still and calm. He came backstage to visit me and his cousin. "You were admirable," he adds in a matter-of-fact tone to Chichi.

"Thank you, Cousin," Chichi replies in an equally matter-of-fact monotone. "I worked very hard on it."

"Indeed," Shino intones. "We must go out front to our family at this time. I will see you at school," he says to me.

"I will see you at the Theater," Chichi says to me.

They turn around as one and walk away emotionlessly without another word.

The rest of us stare after them for a moment. "... _Weird_," Ino finally whispers loudly. I smile at their retreating forms in gentle exasperation.

"Odd ducks," I reply evenly.

"No. Ducks are normal," Ino says firmly. "Aburame are _weird_."

"I would not consider making that statement in any of your father's political venues," comes my grandfather's voice, dryly amused, from behind our group. My friends gasp and whirl around to see him standing over us with my family and Megumi.

"Y-Yes, Hokage-sama," Ino immediately mutters, turning abashed and scarlet red. I grin at Jiji from behind her, and he smiles back warmly.

"YOU LOOKED LIKE A REAL LIVE PRINCESS!" Ko suddenly screams from behind him, tearing through the group and jumping at my middle in the world's biggest glomp. I give a startled 'oomph' as I am pushed back a few steps.

"That was amazing that was amazing the way you were _dressed _with all of your _makeup _and you were really graceful too and are you going to do that at all of the festivals this year and does that mean that we can go to all of them and..." He babbles on excitedly, waving his arms around, from where his legs are clamped around my waist.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighs beside me. I have to choke back a laugh as I smile and nod along to Ko's chatter.

Finally, Aya swoops in and grabs him, picking him up and carrying him off over his complaints. "You were beautiful," she adds in satisfaction, smiling down at me briefly as she steps back appropriately, next to where Sanken is standing, looking very strange in plain black kimono shirt and pants. He eyes me, and then gives me a slight, respectful nod that is somehow so much more meaningful than everyone else's praise. Beside him, Megumi smiles quietly at me, which I know is her idea of 'good job.'

"Yeah, no kidding, Hime! You kicked ass!" Asuma-jii booms, taking the opportunity to sweep in and give me a bear hug himself.

"Asuma!" Aya scolds, as Sakura stares at him wide-eyed. Asuma-jii ignores them. I start laughing as I hug him back.

"Next thing we know, they're going to be carrying you off to the Fire Court and we're never going to see you again," he tells me, his brown eyes crinkling as he smiles.

"What? That couldn't really happen, could it?" Chouji asks, sounding genuinely worried.

"Of course not," Ino scoffs, tossing her hair. "Then Konoha would have to declare war on the Fire Country to get her back."

Jiji starts chuckling. "Indeed we would," he says for my benefit, winking at me before looking around at everyone. "And now we are going to take my granddaughter out to look at the stalls," he adds to everyone in his quiet, firm 'everyone has to do what I tell them to' voice. "You are, of course, welcome to join us," he adds to Sakura, Chouji, Ino, and Shikamaru.

They agree with various levels of eagerness. We all head back around toward the front, but just as I am following behind the rest of the big, loud, laughing group, smiling to myself, I catch sight of someone else I haven't seen yet. He is on his own, standing shyly in the shadow of a corner of the trailer, watching me hesitantly as if he isn't sure whether to approach me among all those other people or not. "Katsuya!" I cry, breaking away from the group briefly to rush over to him happily. "You came!"

He nods. "You were beautiful," he says quietly, smiling shyly and stepping out from behind the trailer after a brief pause.

I beam. "Thanks," I tell him, practically glowing by this point. "Hey, you want to come shopping with us?" I gesture to the group behind me. His eyes widen in surprise. "Unless you have something else to do..." I add when he doesn't respond immediately.

"Oh, no! I can go with you," he says quickly, shaking his head and smiling a little wider as he walks back over to the group with me. Ino is busy calling Shikamaru a lazy bum, Shikamaru is telling her sighingly how troublesome she is, Chouji is moaning about how hungry he is, Sakura is asking Megumi what she does as a jonin in her best polite tone and friendly smile, Aya is nagging Sanken about something as he rolls his eyes at her and asks the heavens why they cursed him with such an irritating co-worker, Konohamaru is beaming around himself excitedly from Asuma-jii's shoulders, and Jiji leads the group with a rare expression of serenity and tolerant amusement. My family.

Katsuya follows me shyly as I walk up to my friends. "This is Katsuya," I tell them as I rejoin them, and the four of them blink and turn to look at us. "I met him at those boring dinner parties," I add in explanation.

Their expressions all clear with understanding. Ino's and Sakura's even become excited. "Why, Katsuya-san! What does your family do?" they ask flushingly, immediately rushing over to him. Poor Katsuya is left with the uncomfortable job of trying awkwardly to explain to the two girls clinging, wide-eyed, to his arm, about his seemingly fabulous home life. I can commiserate.

Our group finally makes it back around to the masses of people I can now see standing in the main square in front of the stage, staring unerringly up at the spectacle happening upon it. The eighteen-year-old dancers are up by now, and they are twirling across the stage with abandon in their silver and blue flashing kimono. Suddenly, just as we make it back around to the crowd, the music stops and they halt regally in one long line in front of us, their arms spread. From this vantage point, I can see how impressive all the wonderfully dressed girls twirling across the wide, magnificent stage truly are. It makes me happy to have been a part of them.

Then, suddenly, fireworks burst into the sky above the stage, wide and loud and colorful up close. Even though I was expecting it, I have to gasp in awe and lean forward as everyone around me starts clapping. The huge, bright, rainbow shoots of fire fly up into the sky, burst into bloom, for a moment vibrant and beautiful, and then die abrupt, violent deaths as the sparks left from the explosion fade out of existence. It is... awe-inspiring. I glance around, beaming, at my friends, who share my excited expressions, albeit to a somewhat lesser degree. Even Shikamaru is smiling, though he does mutter in an undertone next to me, "Haven't you ever seen fireworks before?"

"Never up close," I whisper back to my friends, staring up in awe at the colorful stars of shapes above me. "Jiji has never let us go out to the festivals personally before..." Then I fall silent to gaze in raptures at the rest of the fireworks display. I cannot believe how much I didn't see from my home's forest.

When it is over, we browse the streets of the festival as one huge group. Colored paper lanterns are strung everywhere among all of the neon lights and all of the golden light flowing from open shop doors, positively lighting up the city, with darkness pressing into our small glow of happiness from the night without. People point me out to each other excitedly as we pass, but they point out the rest of my family too - probably because no one from the Hokage's family usually ever goes to the festivals personally. Certainly, Ino, Sakura, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Katsuya seem to think nothing of the pointing. Occasionally, when I am on the edge of the group, looking at one of the stalls of wears and food set up along all the main thoroughfares, I hear someone mention the word 'vessel' - but not the word 'monster.' I smile and relax into the happiness of the evening.

Ko seems uncertain of my friends at first. But as I distract him, pointing out different delights and shows going on around us, he can't help but brighten up at all the exciting novelties. Soon, he is bouncing around by my side, chattering and pointing at everything excitedly. Sakura tells me my little brother is 'so cute' and Ino nods in charmed agreement. (Ko soon takes advantage of their delight by using his puppy dog eyes to get them to buy things for him, and Aya and Jiji have to share the burden of making sure Ko doesn't use his cuteness to too great effect.) Katsuya and Shikamaru quickly strike up a comradeship, to my mild surprise, when they discover a shared interest in books and puzzles, and they take to talking about their favorites and traveling together to different booths and shops which bear such things on sale. Chouji is mostly interested in all the treats and foods that the vendors are selling, and he regularly shoves something under my nose, telling me enthusiastically to 'try a bite of this!' I try everything. It is all delicious. Sanken, for his part, is as preoccupied with his love as usual, and spends most of his time traveling from favorite gardening and botany haunt to favorite gardening and botany haunt, talking to intense connoisseurs he is friends with in them. So I find myself normally with Megumi, as we wander along, just enjoying the sights and the atmosphere around us, occasionally pointing things out to each other. I insist that she buy a pair of amethyst earring that look absolutely wonderful with her elegant neck and finely tilted head, and she whispers to me a favorite trick of the young shinobi-in-training she knew while growing up, wherein they would take a running jump at one of the poles holding colored paper lanterns, pushing chakra into their feet and leaping up the pole quickly, high enough to catch a lantern, grab it, and jump back down to the ground. They would then keep the lanterns for themselves. I think this is a great idea, so we wait for a moment when a particular section of a street isn't too crowded. Then, when I think no one is looking, i take a running jump at one of the flimsy wooden poles, push chakra into my feet and make it wobble as I push off the pole at an angle to shoot myself higher and snatch at a big, beautiful, crimson paper lantern which is warm in my grasp. Then I jump back down, ignoring the tingle that shoots through my feet, and look inside. There it is inside, lighting up the lantern: a candle.

The lantern is so wonderful that I decide I have to have it, so of course Megumi also has to help me pick out some wonderful scented candles to put in the lantern to light at night. With a warm glow in my stomach, I have to wonder if this is what having an older sister is like. Around this time, Asuma-jii seems to spot Megumi and starts hanging around behind us, grinning in a devil-may-care sort of way and flirting with her shamelessly. Megumi is her typical reserved, business-like self, but Asuma-jii seems to have fun trying to pull her out of her shell, and the usually-blunt Megumi lets him. (She murmurs to me at one point that Asuma is nothing like his brother, and as I think of reserved, self-contained, inwardly caring, quietly sarcastic Shigeru-jii, I smile a little and have to agree.)

I am loaded down with treasures from shopping by the time the night is winding down, chief among them my colored paper lantern and scented candles, my makeup bottles for the year from dancing, and a huge, beautiful fishnet hand-woven from pearly, shimmery gossamer thread by some old women running one booth. I plan to drape it over my entire bedroom ceiling, pinning it in the four corners of the ceiling to keep it in place. My crimson colored paper lantern will be hung on the same hook in the left corner near the window, I decide. I can just imagine my room now: My walls painted sky-blue, the way Shigeru-jii did with me all that time ago. The back of my bedroom door covered with a collage of taped-up pieces of shining wrapping paper from previous birthdays. My huge, fluffy, comfy bed with its hand-made quilt set with its headboard against the wall. My bedside table covered in an odd mix of hair accessories makeup brushes and bottles, and kunai and shuriken with their sharpeners and polish. My little mirror above it. The drawers down below filled with sentimental pictures and drawings and birthday cards and paper and ribbons. The gossamer fishnet hanging above me, glimmering faintly, covering the ceiling with its thin weaves. The crimson colored paper lantern with its scented candles hanging in a corner by the window, filling my unusually sharp senses with its rich, lovely, soothing aroma. The flowers and ivy glowing and blooming around the nearby window on their wooden trellis, adding their scents to make the room smell wonderful... from even two or three rooms down the hall, I imagine. The view from the window itself, of the Sarutobi Estate's beautiful gardens, and of the woods beyond, and then of the fields and training fields and clan compounds, and then of the city of Konoha in the distance, and then of the tall, huge, smooth, thick, man-made wooden wall that surrounds my world. The wardrobe on the other side of the room, filled with a mix of dark shinobi clothes, normal casual clothes, and a great variety of beautiful kimono. The enormous bookshelf next to it, filled with all of my favorite action adventures and fantasies and mysteries and romances.

It's perfect, and it's all for me.

Toward the end of the evening, I need to use the bathroom from all of the punch and fruit juice I have drank tonight at the different stalls. The whole group is back together by now (Ko is holding a Yondaime Hokage plushie in honor of the occasion, much to my amusement) and someone points me to a nearby public restroom. It's down an alleyway in front of us, and then to the left.

I walk down the alleyway obediently. It's a bit darker here than in the rest of the city, because no one has strung paper lanterns in the alleys. I walk along in the shadows until I find the public restroom. It's rather dirty and disgusting and it smells awful, utterly unlike any bathroom I have ever been in before, but I am just very careful not to let my skin touch too much. After going to the bathroom naked in a chamber pot inside a dirty little dark room, not much phases you.

As I walk back out of the restroom after washing my hands, I hear an unexpected shuffling sound in the alley, and the sudden scent of someone behind me hits me. I look around curiously.

And then, amost too fast for my eyes to catch, the shadow of a man lashes out viciously at me. I dodge frantically, quickly, jumping back into a taijutsu stance. His hand just misses me in the darkness, and I can hear the distinctive whistle of a kunai in it. He was trying to stab me!

Suddenly, my grasping senses pick up on several scents all around me in the alley. How did I not notice them before? Were they masking themselves? But I don't have time to ponder this, because they're moving; three more closing in on me in the alley, blocking me in from all sides, one crouching hidden on the rooftop above me. But they aren't making any noise and I can't quite see them in the darkness; they must be shinobi, I think, trembling. I grasp at my side for the kunai holster that isn't there; _why didn't I think to wear my weapons tonight? _I pull my arm back to aim at the man in front of me, to push myself through him, to _get out of here_, but suddenly a huge, callused hand wraps around my shoulder from behind and yanks me back. I whirl around and try to cut at his hand, to pull myself out of his grasp, but he's much larger and stronger than me and he grabs me on the other side, too. We grapple with each other for a moment in the darkness, but in order for my taijutsu to work I have to be able to attack my enemy and then get out of range again; only in the more advanced katas of the Water Dancing Style do we cover how to get out of somewhere on the off-chance you _are_ caught in close quarters and _I haven't gotten there yet_. He overpowers me easily, pushing my arms behind my back, pinning my feet in between his legs, pushing me down... _onto the sharp edge of a kunai_.

I swallow and go completely, totally still as I feel the cold metal softly pushed up against the back of my neck. I was so distracted that I hadn't registered the other four coming up behind me to surround me in a tight circle. Up close, I can see my attackers at last: four innocuous-looking, dark Konoha chuunin in their typical green vests. The other four are smaller and slimmer than the one I grappled with, who looks large enough and muscled enough to be a taijutsu specialist.

I open my mouth to scream, but someone slaps a hand over my mouth roughly, pushing my head down a little more thoroughly in warning. I can feel a faint pain in the back of my neck. The kunai must have scratched my skin. "Silence, monster," they hiss under their breath, and I finally understand: these people are angry at my being allowed to come to the festival. These are Kyuubi-haters.

And then some tension I hadn't even realized was building up inside of me suddenly breaks.

I push all of my chakra out recklessly in one great attack, blindly bursting it into the air around me in an explosion, and for a moment a mass of red and blue covers my vision. Faintly, through the roaring of power in my ears and the sudden rush of of energy swelling my veins, I can hear screams of pain. The hands holding me let go of me and I stumble back, hot power fluctuating around me, angry, vicious, seeking an outlet. My head is spinning, my ears are still roaring, I cry out and bend over double against the assault that is suddenly _inside _of me...

And then a hand touches my stomach, the focal point of the whirlwind of pain inside of my body. Suddenly, all the power is sucked up into the point of his hand, and I am simply myself.

I stand there for a moment, doubled over, shaking, breathing heavily, wide-eyed... and then my body gives out, and I collapse into a pair of waiting, strong arms. I just have time to register hazily a rabbit ANBU mask above me. Then everything goes black.

**_[Scene Break]_**

"... _ruto_! Naruto!" A pair of hands is shaking me gently.

I scrunch my nose up and blink my eyes open slowly against the bright light above me. I register a thin, pale, angular face, with two dark pieces of hair falling around it from a dark ponytail at the back of their head, and a pair of elegant amethyst earrings dangling from their ears. Then I blink again, and Megumi's worried face swims into view above me. She is kneeling over me, and my brother and my friends are standing behind her. I can even spot Chichi and Shino in their midst. _When did they get here? _I wonder vaguely.

Then the memories come back to me, and I gasp and sit up. "The chuunin...!" But I don't have to finish. I can see that I am now lying in the street in front of the alley I was in. My older sister, my younger brother, and my friends are surrounding me in a protective circle, and in front of them are two masked ANBU, guarding the little group silently and stoically where we are huddled off to the side of the road, against a shop wall. One of the ANBU is wearing a dog mask, with crazy silver hair sticking up in every direction beyond it. The other ANBU is shorter and stockier, with the traditional Konoha dark hair and tan skin. With a start of surprise, I can recognize the rabbit mask who caught me as I was falling.

But in the street beyond them, chaos reigns.

Shinobi are running back and forth across the street in front of us, toward and away from the main spectacle a little way down the street. Surrounded by ANBU and high-ranking shinobi - I can spot the Aburame, explaining Shino and Chichi's presence, as well as the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi clans, and my grandfather, scowling thunderously, his presence more intimidating than I have ever seen it, along with his two equally solemn advisors, and several important-looking shinobi whom I don't know directly - are the five chuunin who attacked me. They are tied up, although I'm not sure they need to be: the gruesome, mangling third-degree burns all over their front sides don't look very primed for healing anytime soon. As I watch, one ANBU kicks one of the men and shouts something at him. The man groans through his bloody face and mutters something back. My grandfather nods in understanding, his face cold as he listens to the man's confession, a shinobi writing something frantically on a clipboard beside him as the man speaks.

"You pushed so much chakra out of your body so fast that you physically burned their bodies," Megumi says quietly by my side, pulling me back to where I am sitting. She is watching me carefully. With a start, I remember the red and blue power bursting in front of my vision, and I wonder if it was truly only the _speed_ of my chakra that burned them. "Naruto," Megumi continues insistently, "are you all right? I put a bandage over the cut on the back of your neck; the bleeding should stop in a few minutes," I reach my hand up behind my hair and feel something soft covering the back of my neck, "Did they do anything else to you?"

"No," I reply, shaking my head uncertainly. "I mean, they didn't really have time to..."

Megumi nods in understanding, looking relieved. Suddenly, Asuma-jii breaks away from the group of shinobi a little way ahead and runs over to us. The ANBU move aside briefly for him. "Is she all right? Are you all right, Hime?" he asks worriedly.

Megumi nods. "She's fine. She just seems a little stunned, that's all."

Asuma-jii sighs, looking a strange mix of relieved and infuriated. "I don't blame her. Those bastards..." he mutters. "The one time of the day she wasn't with someone else... We should have just let the civilians trample them."

Suddenly, looking beyond even the shinobi surrounding my attackers, I can see another line of shinobi holding back an entire crowd of the civilians who have been at the festival tonight. Contained there at the end of the street, the civilians are struggling against the shinobi holding them back, shaking fists and shouting furiously. But not at me. At my attackers.

Suddenly, I feel rather faint again.

"You need to come over and see what's going on," Asuma-jii is saying to Megumi now. "Dog and Rabbit can watch the kids."

Megumi nods and stands. "I'll be right back," she tells us, and she jogs with Asuma-jii back over to the crowd of shinobi surrounding my attackers, extracting information and confessions. Some shinobi are now flying over rooftops with purpose to other parts of the city, which makes me wonder if my attackers are now ratting out other attackers who were lying in wait to catch me alone at other parts of the festival. _Just how widespread was this?_ I wonder, feeling cold for a moment.

"What the hell happened to you?" Ino asks me loudly now that the adults are gone. "What the hell's going on?"

"For once, the loudmouth's questions are warranted," Shikamaru speaks up, and Ino looks over to scowl at him briefly.

Ko's expression is alarmed and angry. "They attacked you because of who you are, huh?" he speaks up suddenly, angrily, puffing himself up. "Because of the..." He cuts himself off, eyes wide, as I give him a Look and he remembers just in time that he's not supposed to speak of the Kyuubi.

"Yes," I sigh. "That's probably why."

Sakura gasps suddenly, her eyes widening in rememberence. "Your parents," she says softly in realization.

"Are you kidding me?" Ino explodes, looking as angry as my brother.

"Parents?" Shino asks sharply, looking between us. Chichi, Shikamaru, Katsuya, and Chouji also seem alarmed and confused.

"Naruto's birth parents, the ones who died when she was born, were dishonorable to the village in some way," Ino growls angrily. "Not even her grandfather will tell her how. But some people in the village have never liked Naruto, just because of something stupid her parents did."

Everyone turns to stare at me for a moment. Poor Konohamaru stands quietly in the background, trying to look as though this story isn't new to him. I just blink back at everyone wearily.

"That's... that's horrible," Katsuya finally says indignantly. It's the first angry emotion I've ever seen on him.

"And senseless," Shikamaru says, looking annoyed. "Why didn't you tell us about this before? It explains a lot about the way some of the Academy teachers treated you on the first day of school. Chouji and I would have gotten together with Inuzuka Kiba and put frogs in their coffee cups in the teacher's lounge or something." Katsuya looks over to stare at him at this announcement.

Chouji is nodding fiercely. "That's right," he says. "No way are we going to let anyone get away with treating _you_ like that, Naruto. You're way too nice."

"It only makes sense to protect fellow allies for the sake of overall colonial well being," Shino adds coolly, his expression tight in that way that means he's upset and trying not to show it.

"And to repay their comradeship," Chichi reminds him quietly, looking up at him. He looks down at her for a moment, and then his gaze softens and he nods.

Everyone else is looking confused. "I think they mean that they won't let anyone hurt Naruto because she's their friend," bookish Sakura offers thoughtfully from off to the side. Everyone's expressions clear in understanding again.

"Well, in that case, well-said, Shino!" Ino crows, holding a fist in front of her face fiercely, like she's about to go out on a campaign trail.

Ko sits down softly next to me, bumping shoulders with me and giving me a concerned glance. I smile quietly and bump shoulders with him back. "Your friends are weird," he whispers to me in an undertone, grinning. I smile and look up to my righteously defensive friends, to the two ANBU guarding all of us, to all of the shinobi interrogating my attackers for my safety down the street, to the indignant villagers shouting curses and insults to the men on the ground just because they attacked me. For the first time, I am intimately aware of my own status, not only as a shinobi of Konoha, but as a _citizen _of Konoha.

"My friends are wonderful," I correct him warmly, a sense of peace filling me.

**_[Scene Break]_**

Author's Notes: Okay, so, I do write really uplifting, sappy chapters every now and then... This is one of them. They're good for the soul, though, I think. And I really, really like just... everything about this chapter. It's rare that I feel that way about something I write.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	22. Chapter 21

_Chapter Twenty-One _

Safe at home the morning after the chaotic Kyuubi festival, I head down the sweeping wooden staircase, the cheerful sunlight shining in through the huge front windows to illuminate the magnificently decorated entrance hall. I am wearing weapons on me, even though I am in civilian clothes: after what happened last night, I am never going out unarmed again. Yet I don't want to overdo it, so I simply strap a kunai and shuriken holster to one of my beltloops, at my hip.

The smell of pancakes fills my nose when I enter the kitchen, where Aya is bustling around, cooking, and Ko is bounding around her legs in a touching attempt to help her that is really just getting in the way. They are cooking for me this Sunday morning, for today is the day we are celebrating my birthday.

"Need any help?" I ask her as I sit down at the kitchen table.

"No," she says in exasperated amusement, eyeing Ko, "I think I have enough help already." Her tone is ironic. Ko does not seem to notice.

"Happy Birthday, Nee-chan!" he says, beaming over brightly at me.

I smile back. "Thanks." As he turns back to the stove, I cannot help but remember that his card for me last year said the exact same thing. Shigeru-jii helped him give it to me. The thought startles me a bit. _Shigeru-jii... he was at my last birthday, too, wasn't he? _For a moment, I feel a sense of bittersweet melancholy. It seems so long ago now.

But I cannot stay sad for long. Soon, Jiji comes in with Sanken, the two of them talking about something to do with the state of the grounds. Both wish me happy birthday, with varying degrees of expressiveness, as they come in. Jiji asks me seriously how I'm doing, and I know what he means. He wants to know if I'm okay now that the cut on the back of my neck has healed and the huge crowd of Kyuubi-haters plotting against me last night was arrested (some with third-degree burns).

"I'm fine," I say, lifting my head defiantly. "It takes more than a couple of chuunin to get the best of _me_."

"That's the spirit, Hime," Asuma-jii yawns as he walks in. He stayed the night over at the Mansion after I was attacked. "I got you a lump of coal as a birthday present."

"Gee, thanks."

"Yup. You know me. Always the thoughtful uncle."

I snort and roll my eyes, smiling reluctantly.

Soon after Aya finishes making breakfast, other people start arriving. I have invited all of my friends over today, for the very first time! Sakura arrives first, along with a set of thin, elderly-looking, obviously civilian parents, who seem torn between hesitancy and awe at their surroundings and the event their daughter is attending. Ino comes next, with her father's arm protectively around her, beaming proudly and swishing her blonde hair behind her as she carries a huge, brightly wrapped gift. She is followed shortly by Katsuya, with his esteemed, bowing, elegantly speaking, stern-looking father, and by Megumi, who arrives on her own with a small wrapped package under her arm, wearing cargo capris and a tight purple hoodie, in her new amethyst earrings with her black hair pulled up in the same loose ponytail. Shino and Chichi arrive right on time with their equally blank-faced, dark-haired, loosely and plainly clothed aunt, who is dropping them off on her way to work at some shinobi post or other and definitely _doesn't _stick around to chat with the other adults for any length of time. Shikamaru and Chouji come typically last and typically together, along with their fathers, who are talkative and with their odd senses of humor as usual, lingering with the other adults and chatting in the entrance hall for some time. Finally, after all of the presents have been set in a corner of the kitchen, and I and the other children are starting to get antsy and hungry, the adult parents take their leave and the adults in my family wander out to the kitchen and have us all sit down to start on breakfast.

We have to eat in the long dining room this morning, for the kitchen table is not big enough to seat all of us. We cluster at one end of the massive, polished wooden table, Ino and Sakura declaring excitedly as Aya serves the food that they feel just like real princesses! Shikamaru seems quietly exasperated at this, shaking his head. Katsuya gives them an odd look, but says nothing. He and his family probably eat like this all the time. Chouji is too busy gazing at all of the food with excited, adoring eyes to really care much what anyone else is doing, and if Shino and Chichi had shown any reaction whatsoever to such a small comment, I might have worried that something was wrong with them. Beside me, Ko has foregone manners and begun snatching at food to pile onto his plate.

Breakfast is a loud, warm, cheerful affair. The adults sit at one end of the table, Jiji talking to Sanken, Asuma-jii flirting with a determinedly stoic Megumi, and Aya joining in both conversations while looking down the table every so often to eye us children carefully for mischief. Ino and Sakura are positively bursting with excitement at how amazing my house is, Shikamaru and Chouji and Ko only ever talk with their mouths full, even Katsuya opens up slowly and cheerfully after a certain period of time, and both Shino and Chichi actually make comments, which constitutes as positively social for them - Shino especially.

But eventually, breakfast ends and the time comes for me to open presents. As I sit there, squirming excitedly in my chair with everyone I truly care about sitting around me, it is Jiji's self-appointed duty to bring each individual present from the kitchen to me and to set it in front of me at the table. Asuma-jii says, only half-jokingly, "Take a good look, because it's the only time you'll ever see the Hokage doing manual labor." Jiji gives him a quelling sort of glance, and he grins shamelessly as he falls silent.

And so the present-opening begins! His face warmly proud, Jiji takes out the first box and sets it in front of me. Ino's name is plastered across the tag.

"Ha! You'll love it, because I'm just that amazing!" Ino grins, humble as usual. For her birthday last year, I got her a beautiful (and expensive, as she likes) new set of makeup and hair accessories, so I am excited to see what she has gotten me.

I rip off the wrapping paper, only to find a large cardboard box underneath. I tear open the box, and beneath it... is a huuuuge stereo system, with a foldable CD stand and some of my favorite rock and pop CDs to go with it! "Oh my God!" I scream, giving Ino a giant hug.

"I told you that you'd like it," she says, looking quite pleased with herself.

The rest of my presents are equally as perfect. Ko made me another birthday card - much better designed this time - with a picture of the two of us in our shinobi training uniforms on the front of it. Sakura had no real birthday party last year, but I did give her a new book on her birthday, and in return she got me a camera for taking pictures of my friends and family this year. It turns out that Megumi had actually arranged with her when I was distracted at the festival last night, and she got me a large pin-up board to put over the headboard of my bed to stick photographs and notes onto! Shikamaru and Katsuya both got me books - Shikamaru a book on fighting styles of the northern countries (where my taijutsu style comes from), and Katsuya the series that goes with a particular play I was excited about the last time we talked. Shino and Chichi pitched together and bought me a new pair of black dancing slippers to replace my old pair, which was rather worn out... at least, I thought they were only dancing slippers, until Chichi explained that they were specially designed to be extremely firm, durable, and resistant to wear, making them good shinobi shoes as well! Functional _and _desirable - how Aburame. Chouji and Asuma-jii both got me clothes, and not shinobi clothes either - actual bright, normally worn clothes. And what was even more amazing, considering the givers, was that both piles of clothes were very fashionable! Beautiful soft tight long-sleeved shirts in colors like red and blue and purple, slim blue jeans, jean shorts, bright orange and white and black tank tops, and shimmery cloth belts galore. I wonder privately if they had someone help them pick out all of these clothes (Chouji would have had his mother; Asuma-jii would have had one of his girlfriends) or if they both just have a secret fashion sense that I never knew about. Jiji and Aya and Sanken take out their present when everyone else's is opened - they had to put it in a secret place because they couldn't fit it into a box! It's a wide wooden desk and cushioned chair to go in my room for my studies, with a small lamp carrying a beautiful stained glass shade with flower designs - similar to the lamps in the library - to go on top of it and light in the evenings.

And then there is the huge procession up the stairs - there is much gaping on the part of my friends; apparently, _no one _has _two sets _of stairs; "Except Naruto," Shino points out matter-of-factly, and everyone else sighs in exasperation - and into my room. There are so many people crowded in there that it is difficult to get anything done, but eventually, even over the ruckus of excitement that only maple syrup can bring, my desk is set in the corner by the window, under my crimson paper lantern, with the window and the trellis behind it. The lamp and my new camera are set on top of the desk, and my black bookbag for the Academy is set near it. My pin-up board is nailed into place above the headboard of my bed. My new stereo system is plugged into an outlet near the wall by the bedroom door, in one of the only large, empty spaces the room has: the one in the corner next to my drawers and mirror. Next to it, the tall foldable CD stand is set up, where I put not only the new CDs Ino gave me, but the CD of music from my first dancing concert that I got from Saiko-sensei along with my new hair accessories, make-up bottles, and kimono last night. My new books go in my tall bookshelf, and my new casual clothes are put in my already-stuffed wardrobe. On the floor beneath them go my new shoes, to replace my old dancing shoes and my old strap-on sandals. My new card from Ko is put in my first dresser drawer, along with most of my wrapping paper, other cards, and ribbons for this year. Squares of wrapping paper from each present are taped on the back of my bedroom door, like last year, and when my friends ask me curiously and find out what I'm doing, they each take to finding their own square of wrapping paper and taping it up on my door. This takes longer than anything else, and so by the time all the adults have left to go back downstairs, me and my friends [and my brother... does he count?] have my room to ourselves.

We sit in there for a while, crowding together on my bed and messing up my quilt, as my friends examine my room - it occurs to me that most of them have never seen it before. My new gauze net sparkles on the ceiling above us as we sit back and chat idly. They comment on different things in my room, and I smile and explain little stories behind them and things like that (Ko likes making contributions whenever he knows something the others don't). We talk excitedly about my new gifts, about school... Katsuya seems to find the stories of a lot of shinobi at the Academy to be amusing. I have found shinobi in general to be rather eccentric, so I suppose I can understand that.

Eventually, we wander downstairs and into the small TV room on the second floor. We pile up on the couch and when Ino asks me what movies I have, I eagerly show her my favorites, the entire Warrior Princess Yuki series (so far) on video. We end up watching that for the rest of the day - me and Ko and Ino cheer at all the best parts, and Chouji keeps commenting sadly that there's no popcorn. This isn't solved until later on, when Asuma-jii walks into the room and says in amusement, in his best proper accent, "We are assuming the young people will not be joining us for dinner, and are wondering if ordered pizza would be more to their agreement?"

The answering "YES!" is so loud that he shakes his head and walks out rubbing his ears.

Four large pizzas, nine sodas, three kick-ass ninja movies, two stains on the couch that have to be hidden by flipping the cushions over, and one almost-knocked over TV later (it turns out Sakura + sugar = scary amount of energy), we are all bouncing off the walls... literally.

Hey... shinobi trainees.

Then the adults drag us down for chocolate cake.

Aya screams in fear for the glass coffee table in the sitting room at least five times, but we all make it safely to the couch in front of the roaring fireplace in there, too.

Megumi and Asuma-jii bring the huge, frosted chocolate cake out together from the kitchen, with the candles on it already lit and everything. Everyone else sits around the long sitting room begins singing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Naruto, Happy Birthday to you..." Then they watch warmly as I beam, take the biggest breath I can - which is pretty big - and blow all the candles out in one huge puff! The room bursts into applause, and cake is officially... served. Chouji shoves his whole slice into his mouth at once (Katsuya watches in amazement and Ino snorts in disgust) but everyone else finishes their slice just in time for the adults to start arriving to pick up their hyperactive kids.

My family and I must stand in the entrance hall for forever, smiling and hugging people goodbye, waving everyone off through the open double doors, past the huge front gates, and into the dark, sweetly scented, firefly-lit twilight. Megumi hugs me goodbye, and as she stands up, Asuma-jii next to me beams and opens his arms for one too, his expression comically expectant. Megumi eyes him smirkingly for a long moment, as if considering just leaving him hanging, but in the end she gives him a very brief one: "All your efforts deserve _something_, after all." I hug all of my other friends goodbye too - giving an especially big one to Katsuya, who is leaving for the capital again tomorrow, and an especially brief one each to Shino and Chichi, who are thoroughly thrown off by extended personal contact.

At the end of it all, as I watch everyone leave, I think it might have been one of the best days of my life.

It only occurs to me much later that it has been barely two years since I was broken out of the orphanage.

So much of my life has changed for the better so quickly... I can't wait to see what the future holds.

**_[Scene Break]_**

Megumi has finally begun training with me on certain training days.

We are down in the training rooms this afternoon, during one of my normal training days. Ebisu and Ko are here, too, as usual, but they are off to the side, training separately to build up Ko in preparation for my more advanced exercises. Meanwhile, I am being tutored separately in another part of the chambers with Megumi.

In most training sessions, I begin with stretches and meditation - I am continuing my integration of my enhanced senses into my meditation, because while my senses were pretty good during the festival attack (I smelled and heard the locations of the people around me even without seeing them), they could have been sharper still (I only smelled them and heard them after I was already alert). Sometimes, I even meditate at night, in the quiet of my bedroom, facing my darkened window, cross-legged on my bed, with the smell of flowers and the scented candle burning in my crimson paper lantern, which is the only source of light in the room, wafting all around me. Following stretches and meditation, along with some brief strength, endurance, and flexibility exercises to keep up those aspects of my body, I begin practicing beginner's taijutsu katas for the Water Dancing Style. This is followed by exercises to keep up my excellent ability in kunai and shuriken aiming. Right now I am training in multiple aiming and aiming at moving targets with those two long-distance weapons. Finishing up is the wall-walking chakra control exercise, in which I have recently achieved my intended goal of ten walks up and down the wall without stopping or feeling overly exhausted or strained.

But today, on my first day with Megumi, my training is different. Not only is she much more of a hands-on, calmly matter-of-fact, in-control kind of a teacher than Ebisu is, but her curriculum with me is different. It consists entirely of training in girl's specialized taijutsu moves and stretches, in senbon aiming, and in poison studies.

Megumi stands before me now, looking down at me with her usual quiet precision. "What," she asks in clipped, business-like tones, the likes of which I haven't heard since she was a Black Op, "is your previous training in female taijutsu?"

I relate to her obediently my previous taijutsu training. She listens with a thoughtful frown, her dark eyes distant as she stares at something over my shoulder without really seeing it.

"... In other words, none," she says finally, her voice neutral. "I expected it, being taught by men. They tend, in general, to be rather useless sometimes."

I snicker despite myself.

"Now," she continues in a louder voice, ignoring it, "I suppose we will have to start at the beginning, then. Come and stand next to me."

As soon as I do, she commands me to go through my different stretches and starting stances. I do, as she stands there, watching me with a critical eye that is only not weighty because I know her well enough not to be self-conscious. Finally, she opens her mouth and quietly begins making comments as I move, telling me to do this or to fix that. At times, she steps in behind my stance smoothly and grabs my arms or legs, showing me by feel how something is supposed to be done. The speed with which she does this is disconcerting, and I always have to force myself not to tense up or jump. Still, it goes very well, with me getting a basic idea of how we're going to change the individual movements to make up for my lack of brute strength and take advantage of my better agility and flexibility. I am not expected to memorize all of the new moves now, of course. Not yet. Megumi tells me that we will go through everything she wants to teach me, including actual taijutsu moves, for a few more sessions yet.

Next, we continue on to give me an idea of what senbon training is going to be like. "You had the basic concept correctly," she tells me when I show her how I've been practicing in senbon aiming. "You just need a few modifications." She corrects me in how I've been holding the senbon, shows me a few finger exercises to practice during training to give myself better finger speed and dexterity, and mentors me in aiming for the smaller, closer points. She tells me it's a good thing I have a good grasp of the minutiae of anatomy. "Without it," she assures me, "you'd be completely lost. That's why senbon are not commonly taught at the Academy."

Our final piece is, of course, on poisons. For this, to my surprise, Megumi actually reaches into an equipment pouch and pulls out a handful of small vials full of differently colored liquids. "The most noticeable poisons out there," she explains matter-of-factly at my surprised expression. "We'll start with them." And she spends some time talking about their names, their diferent indicators, and what they do. She shows me the vials, and even lets me smell them if they have a certain scent. I hadn't expected such hands-on training... but Megumi is her usual blunt self. And I kind of like it, being able to _see _what she's talking about.

Finally, I am done with Megumi for today. She follows me, vaguely curious about my training, as I return to Ebisu, who requested to see me today before I left. "Ebisu-sensei?" I say questioningly. He and Ko look up where he was helping my brother with some taijutsu stretches.

"Ah, yes. Honored Granddaughter," he says primly, standing up and adjusting his dark glasses. "I just wanted to tell you that, since you have successfully completed walking up and down the wall with the wall walking exercise ten times, I would like to give you the next chakra control exercise to work on." At my excited expression, he adds sternly, "Now, I want you to continue the wall walking exercise, which you are by no means a master in. But... I _did _promise." His tone is reluctant. However, there is no hesitation in his steps as he turns and walks up to the pool on the far side of the training chambers.

"This," he says, turning to me and smiling a slight, satisfied smirk, "is called the water walking chakra control exercise."

**_[Scene Break]_**

I have one other piece of training to do recently. This one, however, for the first time... is with Asuma-jii.

Asuma-jii promised me ages ago that he would teach me roof and tree hopping. But when I eagerly asked him on the night after my birthday when this would be done (out of Jiji's earshot, of course), I was still surprised when he thought for a moment, before offering me a date just a _week_ from then.

It's nice having a relative who treats you like an adult.

Ko is wildly envious, of course. "You're getting to do all this cool stuff," he whines. "When do _I _get to do cool stuff?"

"Soon," is all I can tell him, smiling sheepishly as I repeat the old adult line. When he pouts, I wince in sympathy. I know how that feels.

However, as I walk out front to the land just beyond the mansion gates, where Asuma-jii is standing in the dappled afternoon shade, waiting in his new jonin shinobi uniform, I cannot feel guilty. I am too excited.

"Well," he says when he sees me walking up to him, "the first thing anyone has to know in roof and tree hopping is how to push chakra into their feet. You can do that, right?"

I nod quickly, beaming.

He chuckles at my enthusiasm. "Then this should be pretty easy. Look, we'll do tree hopping first, and then tree hop into the village where we can do roof hopping, okay? It's that simple. You'll get it right away, I promise. You ready?"

"... You have to _ask_?" I say incredulously.

He raises his hands in a placating sort of way, his lips twitching above his goatee. "Alright, alright. Let's get started, then. Now, for tree hopping, all you have to do is keep a steady flow of chakra to your feet, followed by a brief spurt upward in the amount of chakra to your feet every time you want to jump to a branch. Other than that, it's just a matter of running and jumping. Pretty simple, right?"

I nod, surprised at the brief explanation.

"Well, why don't you try it?"

I do. And it's... incredibly easy. Soon I am leaping through the tree branches, feeling wonderfully independent, remembering from so long ago my awe at the strong shinobi who could _fly_... I tilt my head back and laugh out loud, freely. Running beside me to make sure I don't slip and fall, Asuma-jii smiles.

The graduation from branch hopping to roof hopping is just a matter of timing the spurts of chakra differently. This doesn't take me long at all to learn (_finally _those chakra control exercises are good for something concrete) and then we are flying over the rooftops like any other common shinobi, watching the beauty of Konoha's city center on a Saturday afternoon unfold below us. People shout to each other through the paved streets, bells jingle as shop doors open and close, children laugh and play together on the streets of the residential sections, shinobi nod to us in passing as we fly past each other over the rooftops in different directions...

I tell Asuma-jii over the wind rushing past our ears that I feel strong.

He looks at me sideways and smiles quirkily. Then he sounds very like Jiji for a moment as he tells me that I was strong long before this.

**_[Scene Break]_**

I concentrate fiercely on the leaf sitting in the middle of my open palm. I am in my ninjutsu class at the Academy, with other students sitting in the sunny grass around me, laughing and chatting and horsing around with each other, but I am insensate to all of it. I am in the middle of my usual struggles with the leaf-curling chakra control exercise.

According to Ebisu, I _should _be getting better at this. Thanks to my training in larger chakra control at home, I am starting to be able to train in more finite, delicate chakra control exercises like this one - which finally catches me up to the rest of my class, who have to work on smaller chakra control exercises because their reserves are of the same size. So, excited at the idea of being even with my friends, I am concentrating extra-hard on carefully curling my chakra into the leaf, trying to make it move the way I want it to move.

Suddenly, slowly, for the first time in weeks, something happens.

Even with how much my chakra control has improved, I really didn't expect it. I have to force myself not to start in surprise and lose control of my chakra when the leaf in my hand abruptly shakes and twitches a little, before slowly fading back into stillness again. Narrowing my eyes in determination, I concentrate everything on the leaf, slowly inching my chakra forward in tiny amounts, twitching it back and forth, back and forth...

Slowly, the leaf shakes up and then back down again. Up and back down. Up and back down...

Panting wildly, my eyes wide, a grin slowly forms across my face. Weeks of frustration all form into a single moment of triumph. _... I'm doing it._

"I'M DOING IT!" I yell out loud, making all my friends around me start and stare over at me. "I'M DOING IT, I'M DOING IT!"

"Hey, you are!" Chouji exclaims excitedly beside me, leaning over toward me and beaming. "Congratulations!"

"Yeah," Shikamaru agrees matter-of-factly, "and it only took you a week and a half longer than everyone else to do it."

I turn to give him a Look, and his lips quirk in something like a smirk, except lazier.

The teacher walks over to us and gazes down at my palm. Proudly, I reach my chakra in and flex the leaf for him again. "... That is... correct," he admits reluctantly, but not bitterly, raising his eyebrows slightly. "I shall mark your progress, Uzumaki-san." He walks away, back toward the table and clipboard at the front of the seated group of students.

I am grinning to myself for the rest of class.

"I'm kicking ass at my training right now," I boast to my friends as we leave for our next class, lifting my head high. "And actually, speaking of that, I've been meaning to mention to you guys... I'm thinking about doing sparring. You know, here at the Academy with other students. I want to be better prepared for the next time I get in an unexpected fight. My reflexes have to be better in situations like that." I grow slightly more serious as my thoughts turn, again, to the festival attack. I panicked so much at the realization that I was being assaulted, I didn't even have the forethought to push my emotions back behind the numbness and remain calm during the fight, as I used to remain calm when I was young. That must not happen next time. But I cannot explain this particular motivation to Shikamaru and Chouji, or even Shino, who has walked up silently beside us in the corridor and begun walking with us to our next class.

"Well, count me out," Shikamaru says blithely.

"Thanks. You're very supportive," I sigh.

"Eh. It'd be too troublesome. I'll be referee."

"Fair enough. You're better at tactics and observation, anyway. Shino? Chouji?" I know they are both outside-trained by their families as well, so my gaze is hopeful.

"I would be interested in attending these spars. Considering that my family training specializes in _kikai bug_ attacks instead of in close combat, I believe it would be beneficial to both parties," Shino replies evenly.

"Yeah, I'll do it too. Even Akimichi need to know how to spar to actually put their size to good use," Chouji says quietly, smiling self-consciously.

We enter the classroom.

In addition to my great skill in weaponry and my recent improvement in chakra/ninjutsu, my academic classes at the Academy have also been going very well. My best classes have shaped up to be history, anatomy, and strategy... predictably, perhaps. The class we are entering now, however, is not among my good classes - it is taijutsu. I still hate the Academy's taijutsu style, although thanks to my long training in taijutsu in general, I am plodding along with a passing score. We all sit down in the classroom that attendance is taken in before we go outside for training.

It is not long at all before I feel, with a twinge of annoyance, the usual presence seat himself behind me. As if I was not already in tune to this, the giggling and sighing of Sakura and Ino and the other fangirls across the room alerts me to the fact that Uchiha Sasuke has just sat himself behind me.

"Hey."

And... is speaking to me?

I turn slowly around to look at him, bemused and slightly suspicious. He smirks at my expression. "I heard some drunks attacked you at the festival, Uzumaki. Were you up to the challenge?"

My friends stop talking among themselves to listen in, their eyes switching back and forth between us. "Obviously I am, Uchiha, or I wouldn't be sitting here," I reply coolly.

He gives me one of his normal piercing stares for a moment. I glare back.

Then, abruptly, he smirks again, wider this time, his dark eyes gleaming. "Good," he says in clear satisfaction, to my surprise. "I wouldn't want as my rival someone who can't even beat a few drunks."

I am so busy grounding my teeth at the condescension in this, it only occurs to me much later that it is the first time Sasuke has ever outright referred to me as his rival.

**_[Scene Break]_**

Author's Notes: I had to work through a stomach disease, a cold, and a death in my family, but goddamnit, I said I wasn't going to be on hiatus anymore and I'm not going to be on hiatus anymore.

A nice, long one for all you lovely people for waiting so long in between recent updates. A lot of progress was made in this chapter, obviously. And we've finally reached hyphenation status in the chapter numbers! :D

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	23. Chapter 22

_Chapter Twenty-Two_

I am sitting between Shikamaru and Chouji in my first period class. It's one of the rare mornings when Sakura and Ino have felt brave and bold enough to sit with us, even though Sasuke's sitting right behind our row of desks. They rather ruin this effect, however, by glancing shyly back at him ever-so-often, then ducking their furiously blushing faces and bursting into loud, shrill giggles whenever they catch his eye. I hear Sasuke sigh quietly whenever they do this, and despite myself, I feel slightly sympathetic.

Shikamaru and Chouji have had long practice at ignoring this sort of behavior, especially from Ino, and are instead leaning across the desks to tell me about a new type of trap that Shikamaru was reading about from his family's enviable home library.

"It takes a double attack: from the bottom and back, and the top and front. You trigger the wire, and you get a kunai coming at you from either direction, one to incapacitate you and one to kill you."

"Even if you tried to evade, two kunai coming at you from opposite directions would also make it much more likely for at least one of them to hit you, wouldn't it?"

"Exactly. You go down and you get hit by the bottom kunai, you jump up and you get hit by the top - "

"Even if it's not in the intended place -"

"You're still hit. And the kunai are supposed to be poisoned, so that's not the last injury you'll get from the trap."

"And there's _no _way to avoid it?"

"_That's _what I keep asking him."

"Well, theoretically, one could throw themselves sideways to evade, but with your diagonal angle, that might just make you _more _likely to get hit. And you could jump up and straighten yourself out between the kunai, but you'd have to be really fast, and it would also kind of depend on where you were, and even air currents -"

"What about a jutsu counterattack? _That_ could double as a self-defense," says a voice quickly. But, to our triple surprise, it isn't coming from our group. We stare over toward Sasuke, who is sitting behind us with a look of utmost surprise on his face, as if he's startled even himself by injecting his thoughts into the overheard conversation.

"Well..." Shikamaru starts to reply slowly, almost carefully, blinking, "it would depend on -"

But at that moment, Sakura and Ino finally overcome their shock and delight over Sasuke actually deigning attention toward their general direction. And this means noise. Loud noise.

"_Oh my! _That's such an amazing idea, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaims in a voice that leaves my ears ringing, clasping her hands together tightly and leaning toward his desk with a beaming, almost feral smile on her face. The sudden fanaticism gleaming in her eyes is a little frightening. I realize I've never seen Sasuke pay any attention to Sakura or Ino before - I had no idea it meant this much to them.

"Yeah," Ino giggles, and my jaw almost drops at how airheaded she sounds as she leans onto his desk, her fingers clasping its edges almost lovingly, "you're even smarter than Shikamaru." She sighs dreamily, her eyes glazed over as she stares up at him.

It's like The Invasion of the Body-Snatchers.

This is my first true experience with the Epidemic of Fangirl. It's suitably disturbing.

I have no idea what my face must look like as I watch on, but Chouji's mouth has dropped open and crumbs from his morning breakfast are dropping unheeded from it. I see Shikamaru roll his eyes and mouth the word 'creepy' next to him. Sasuke is leaning away from his desk, with a face that looks like it's trying its hardest to be contemptuous instead of mildly alarmed.

At that moment - probably luckily for everyone involved - the teacher walks into the classroom and calls for silence. Everyone turns automatically to face the front of the class, and, reluctantly, Sakura and Ino do too. I would have asked them _what _that was, but for the first time, I am completely unsure how they might respond to me.

The teacher, I finally notice, has another little girl about our age standing next to him. His hand is placed gently, guidingly on her shoulder as she ducks her head, blushing at the class's stares. She is small and pale, with short, thick dark hair hanging around her chin, making her round white face look even rounder.

"This is a new student. She will be in this class, as well as in your year, from now on," the teacher says informatively, gazing around at us all. There is a buzz of excitement around the classroom at this, and I exchange glances with my friends as I perk up in interest. The teacher waits patiently until the mutterings die down. Then he continues, squeezing the girl's shoulder, "Her name is Hyuuga Hinata."

Ino suddenly gasps at my side. But when I glance over, to my relief, she isn't looking at Sasuke. She is instead gazing avidly, unwaveringly, at the shy-looking new girl in front of us all. "The Hyuuga are one of the biggest, most talented shinobi clans in Konoha. They even have a bloodline," she hisses to the rest of us under her breath.

Looking the girl over, I whisper back, "I think... I've heard of them. Don't they have a doujutsu...?"

But my question has just been answered for me. The teacher whispers something to the girl next to him, unusually solicitous, and she finally lifts her head up to look at us all. Her eyes, I notice immediately, are wide and a beautiful silvery-grey color. They are also completely blank - pupil-less. I remember abruptly Jiji telling me about the Hyuuga bloodline once, during our lessons long ago.

_"The Hyuuga bloodline is extraordinarily powerful," he said with unusual matter-of-factness. Then he leaned back in his chair and took a puff from his pipe, smirking. "It's also ironic. The Hyuuga have some of the most powerful eyes in the known world... but to an unknowledgeable person, their eyes look completely useless. This is part of what initially made the Hyuuga so dangerous. They could infiltrate an enemy camp, pretending to be a weak and lost civilian, and everyone would believe their story immediately."_

_"Why?" I asked, curious and wide-eyed._

_"Because, Naruto-chan: their eyes make them look blind. _

_"The more someone is underestimated as weak, the more their enemies let their guards down around them. And the more their enemies let their guards down around them, the more likely the person is to be able to slip the proverbial knife between their ribs right when they least expect it."_

I feel a new thrill of fascination as I gaze down at tiny little Hyuuga Hinata, where the teacher is leading her to a seat in the front row. The moment he has given us the assignment for the day and dismissed us to our individual work, I slide out of my seat and hurry toward the front of the classroom, toward her, eager to introduce myself. I catch Ino gazing after me longingly for a moment, always eager to know everyone and everything that is going on around her, but in the end even this isn't quite enough to pull her away from such incredible proximity to her precious Sasuke.

"Hi!" I say cheerfully, reaching Hyuuga Hinata's desk alone. I stick out my hand toward her. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto! It's nice to meet you!"

Hinata actually jumps a little, then looks slowly up toward me, wide-eyed. As soon as her eyes meet mine, she blushes shyly and ducks her head again. _Wow, _I think admiringly, _she **is **__good at acting unassuming. It must run in the family! _"H-Hyuuga Hinata," she whispers, sliding her tiny hand into mine and giving it a quick shake before hurriedly putting it down again. "N-nice to meet you, too."

I beam, clasping my hands behind my back and rocking back and forth on my heels. "I hope you like it here at the Konoha Shinobi Academy! Do you need any help with that?" I point down toward her worksheet. If she's just gotten here, it means she's a few months behind the rest of the class; I doubt she'd know how to do it.

"N-no, I'm fine," she says quickly, shaking her head so hard I think it's about to fly off. She still won't look up at me.

I frown in confusion for a moment... but then I give a mental shrug. _Oh well. She probably got private tutoring from her family. _"Okay. Well, tell me if you need anything. See you later!" I turn around to go back to my own seat. But then I have a thought, and I grin as I turn back toward her one last time.

"Oh, by the way," I say, "you're a really good actor."

I skip away, whistling cheerfully. Hyuuga Hinata lifts her head up to stare after me, amazed and befuddled.

**_[Scene Break]_**

The peaceful idyll that has made up the recent weeks of my life continues.

Shikamaru is lying by my side in the grass under our tree at lunch. Shino is on my other side; Chouji is on Shikamaru's. Normally, Shikamaru would be using this time for some lazy, uninhibited cloud-watching (because, apparently, his stomach is the size of a mouse and he never actually has to eat lunch). But today, he has his head tilted to the side and he is watching the new girl, Hinata, from her solitary place sitting by the wall on the other side of the playground, eating lunch alone. Despite several people, including me, approaching her to attempt to befriend her in the few days since she's turned up, her silence eludes us all, and people are starting to learn to let her keep to herself.

I am very curious by this behavior. Strangely, Shikamaru has taken an unusual interest in it as well. "It's nothing like what I've heard about the Hyuuga," he complains. "What _any _of us have heard. They're all supposed to be bloated by their own importance, aren't they?"

I have to admit, he has a point. Jiji and my uncles have always gone on about how arrogant and annoying the Hyuuga act at diplomatic parties. Put into the context of the rest of her clan's behavior, Hinata _is _starting to seem odd.

Shikamaru, noticing me watching him, chooses to speak his latest wild theory on Hinata's strange reserve around others. "Maybe she's a mute," he says definitely. "And her clan has taught her some sort of chakra technique mimicking speech that takes so much effort to use, she can only do it in short amounts."

"A valid theory, except for one problem," Shino says tonelessly. "My kikai bugs would be able to sense such an abnormal amount of chakra usage." His trenchcoat suddenly buzzes a little with the bugs hidden inside his body, as if to prove his point.

Shikamaru frowns in thought. "Yeah," he admits, his shoulders slumping. "I know. And it's probably nothing. It's just... it's so _weird _to meet a _shy _Hyuuga."

"She's even quieter than Sasuke," Chouji says, nodding knowingly.

That's probably what has people the most incredulous. It's a general agreement that _no one _is more anti-social than Uchiha Sasuke. Not even silent, stoic, ever-rational Shino falls into that category, now that he's known to be friends with us.

I am broken from my thoughts by Sakura and Ino suddenly flouncing up to our group from across the playground. Behind them, a whole crowd of other equally disappointed-looking Sasuke fangirls are dispersing across the field in a distinctly frustrated manner. "What's up, guys? Did you find Sasuke?" I ask as they sit down beside us.

"No," Ino sighs sharply. "That's the problem. We fangirls, as a club, have decided that this tactic for discovering where the subject eats is bearing no results." I have a sudden image of Sasuke splayed out and chained to a white science lab table as his fangirls stand over him and poke him with instruments, giggling. "It's time for a new strategy."

We all start nodding... and then _everything _she said finally hits us.

There's a moment of silence.

"... I can't believe I'm voluntarily touching this subject," Shikamaru finally says slowly, "but..."

Before he can force it out, Chouji blurts it out for him. "There's a _club now_?"

Sakura and Ino blink. "Of course," Sakura replies, as if it's the most logical thing in the world. "The Uchiha Sasuke Is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread Fanclub."

"_I_ came up with the name," Ino adds proudly, smirking and examining her nails in a regal sort of way.

... There's ANOTHER moment of silence.

"I have no response," Shino finally states to the world at large. He then blocks the entire event out of his mind and goes back to his lunch. I admire his mental abilities. Shikamaru, Chouji, and I are still gaping disbelievingly.

"Anyway," Ino says dismissively, tossing her hair and continuing. "Sakura and I put our heads together, and decided that we _have_ a new strategy. Just the two of us."

Sakura looks up at me with an eagle eye that she usually reserves for a math test. I gulp despite myself. "Sasuke's always interested in _you_." It's the first time she's ever said it without a hint of jealousy or bitterness. "So we're just going to follow you around everywhere, and use that time to observe Sasuke!"

I wait for them to start laughing... and they don't start laughing. Instead, they're beaming at me winningly.

_They're... **serious**?_

I feel a sudden weight of dread settling in the pit of my stomach. Chouji reaches out and pats my shoulder sympathetically.

_**[Scene Break]**_

And so it begins. Over the next couple of weeks, Sakura and Ino are indeed beside me every chance they get in school. They sit right next to me in every class we have together, giggling at Sasuke over their shoulders, and they sit beside me every day at lunch, gazing around themselves excitedly, as if they just expect him to pop up at any moment. This is bad enough, but they also do other things. For instance, whenever we're in weaponry and Sasuke inevitably raises his hand and meets my eye challengingly to have me come talk to him, they are always watching my movements avidly. As soon as they see that Sasuke has raised his hand for "help", they gasp in delight, and actually drop their own weapons and leave their own targets to rush toward him, eager to assist. Sensei yells at them, and after a while starts having them do push-ups whenever they leave their assigned spots, but I know better than anyone that Ino and Sakura both have a powerful will when they want to. They are the only girls I know who dare to leave their posts every time Sasuke raises his hand, no matter how much they are censured for it.

I am not sure if I'm the only one who has noticed just how much this all seems to annoy Sasuke. For someone who enjoyed showing off the first day we met, he doesn't seem to be too keen about _female _attention. Actually, he seems to dislike it just as much as Shikamaru does. Once, after yet another incident in weaponry class, as Sakura and Ino went disappointedly back to their spots to do push-ups under the scowling gaze of the instructor, he leaned toward me and hissed, "Can't you keep a leash on the little _puppies _trailing after you?" His sharp black eyes swept between me and my friends, genuine resentment festering in them.

"Don't talk about them like that!" I snapped reflexively, defensively. Then, because he was still waiting for a reply with clenched teeth, and because I thought that just this once his annoyance might be justified, I sighed and said in a less harsh tone, "... Look. I don't know what's up with them, okay?"

"_I _do. They're _weird_."

"Oh, shut up! Like _you're_ the epitome of normality," I shot back, rolling my eyes.

"At least I don't spend all my time giggling idiotically over the subjects of _my_ interest," he returned coldly, giving Sakura and Ino another annoyed glance. They had stood up by this point, and as soon as he looked at them, they proved his point by doing just that: giggling idiotically.

"... If you must know," I said slowly, wondering how this was going to go over, "they're trying to figure out where you go at lunch."

He blinked at me for a moment. And then he did the most amazing thing.

His lips twitched toward a smile.

Not a smirk. But an actual _smile_. A small one, but a _smile_. Like something was, you know... _funny_.

_Uchiha. Sasuke._

As I stood there, gaping at him, he actually snorted, like he was trying to choke back laughter, and turned quickly back toward his target, obviously struggling to keep a neutral expression. "... Wha...?" I finally managed to force out, incredulous.

"Oh... Nothing," he replied blithely, in a voice that said there _was _something, it was hilarious, and he had no intention of telling me what it was.

And no matter how much I bothered him for the rest of the period, that was all he would give out. Though his expression _was_ very smug at the idea that he had something to hold over me.

Now, as odd as this situation was, considering the person I'm talking about, I probably would have forgotten about it eventually... if not for something that happened during lunch just a few days later.

I am beginning my spars at lunch today, in the open grass area next to my friends' eating tree. It is a warm, sunny day with a bit of wind, perfect for sparring. Shino has volunteered to be the first to spar with me, and we are set in ready stances in front of the rest of our group, which is sitting in the shade. All around us are the sounds of children playing and laughing, but we block this out, focusing steadily on each other.

I grin. "Ready?"

Shino nods to me evenly, expressionless as always.

Shikamaru, sitting back on his hands under the tree, sighs. "I can't believe I agreed to be referee. Troublesome," he groans.

Ino rolls her eyes. "Just shut up and give them the sign to _go_," she says impatiently.

Reluctantly, Shika raises a lazy, limp hand. Then he snaps it to attention. "Go!" he says, waving his hand down sharply, and all my friends watching tense up in anticipation.

Neither of us moves. A steady breeze blows my ponytail around across my back, but I ignore it. My eyes stay steadily on Shino's motionless body, his high collar ruffling across his face.

"... What are they waiting for?" I hear Sakura whisper after a moment. No one seems able, or willing, to answer her.

I know why _I'm _waiting: my style requires more dodging and hitting openings. It's not necessarily very offensive. In order for it to work efficiently, someone else has to start the fight. Shino, I can only guess at. Perhaps he is simply being his usual cautious, assessing self.

Suddenly, he breaks the silent stillness. He darts at me, his palms rigid, raised in a knife-hand movement. I move my arm to snap in between his raised hands and hit a pressure point just above his rib cage, but he twirls around me with startling grace at the last moment, placing himself at my back and chopping out toward my shoulder blades. I duck underneath his hand, switching myself to a side stance and kicking him in the ribs, my other leg already moving in the other direction, to propel me away again. But he grabs my foot as he's being pushed away and pulls me along with him. His back hits the ground and he has me up above his head briefly, held by my leg. I kick against his hand and free myself, pushing myself up into the air, flipping around, and landing in a somersault on the ground. I roll to my feet and twirl back around to face Shino in one quick movement, already panting from exertion. He also has his feet back under him. We get back into our stances and watch each other carefully for a moment. Then I feint suddenly to my right, he goes for my left, I aim for _his _right, and our fast, intricate dance continues.

"I thought you said you weren't good at this!" I call to him at one point in between our blows.

"I said that, because my family _specializes _in distance combat, I could do with some extra practice!" he calls back to me, in an even, oh-so-innocent tone. I grin despite myself as I aim a punch at him. Shino's the best person I've ever met at not-lying: clearly, he has had as much extra training as I have, if not more.

I vaguely notice a curious thing as I get caught up in the spar. Namely, the sense of calm energy that has settled over me. I practice controlling my emotions in the throes of the spar, I practice being calm and methodical in my attacks. The energy flows through my movements as I put calculated power behind the blows. It's... sort of like meditation, actually. Just me and my opponent, in our own quiet little world.

Therefore, it takes me a while to notice that a group has crowded around our training area on the playground, as usually happens whenever someone is showing off some shinobi talent in the Academy yard. There is clapping and cheers all around us, though I can't tell who or what they're cheering for, and I don't have time to really pay attention or look. I think I hear Inuzuka Kiba's strident voice in the midst of a group of rowdy boys, my friends' voices off to one side, and when I'm ducking backward (somewhat clumsily) to avoid a blow, I think I catch a glimpse of a dark-haired girl standing quietly in the middle of the crowd, watching the spectacle with wide, silver eyes. But it's all a blur, and then I'm back to putting my full attention onto the spar. It is by no means an easy one - my opponent seems to be more used to sparring than I am, probably having many shinobi cousins around his size, and our abilities, though different, are in many ways evenly matched. I can detect the same struggle to move a small, clumsy body into carefully memorized movements in him that I can sense in myself, as well as the same potential for growth.

Finally, I aim in close and hover my finger above a deadly pressure point on Shino's neck, just as he twists an arm behind me and touches a place on my spine that, had he hit it hard enough, probably would have killed me. There is a sudden silence as everyone stops cheering, and we both come to a stand-still, panting heavily... realizing that the fight is over.

Then the cheering and clapping around us goes wild.

As excited, overwrought kids yell about the "coolness" of taijutsu fighting all around us, Shino and I break apart, me beaming widely, he looking quietly satisfied (even through everything he uses to cover his face). An understanding passes between us - that we will be doing this again - as our friends come up to us from the crowd. "You guys were really good," Chouji says admiringly, as Shikamaru yawns.

"Yeah," he says boredly, "it was a tie."

"Come on! Aren't you ever excited about _anything_, Lazy-Ass?" a fired-up Ino asks in exasperation.

"No," Shikamaru replies boredly, looking over her head in annoyance as her face grows angrier. Beside them, Sakura looks like she's trying not to laugh.

And then the moment is broken quite fiercely by something unexpected happening over the threesome's shoulders.

Uchiha Sasuke jumps down calmly from the tallest, thickest, darkest branches of the tree that me and my friends usually sit under at lunch.

There seems to have been a lot of shocked silences around me lately, but this one basically tops them all. Everyone gapes at Sasuke.

"... _That's _where you eat lunch?" Ino finally shrieks furiously. A sudden hiss goes up from the crowd of fangirls all around us, and despite myself, I feel a little nervous.

"Yeah," Sasuke says in a dismissive monotone, his eyes busy focused on me. They are intense and angry, even moreso than usual. He walks up to me slowly. Everyone around us watches with wide eyes, waiting. "... You didn't tell me you were going to be doing spars." There is a hidden tension layered within his voice.

"I didn't know I needed your permission," I shoot back, even though we both know very well why he's upset. _He_ wants to spar with me.

Sasuke glares at me. "We're sparring," he says tightly. "_Tomorrow_."

Suddenly, I am sick of his needy, antagonistic behavior. "Fine!" I snap abruptly, and storm away from the playground, exasperation, annoyance, and anger swirling within me. The crowd whispers as it parts in my wake.

I am halfway across the playground when I hear two pairs of hurried footsteps trying to catch up to me. "Naruto!" Sakura's voice calls. I turn around to see Sakura and Ino both trying to catch up to me, looking incredulous and angry.

"Why didn't you tell us?" is the first thing out of Ino's mouth as they come to a standstill before me. They breathe heavily as they wait for an explanation.

I blink at them for a moment, so surprised that my anger leaves me. "What?" I finally ask incredulously, when I realize what they're talking about. "You think I _knew _he was up there all that time, hiding?" I laugh at the thought... but Sakura and Ino aren't laughing. They're scowling at me resentfully, the closest they have ever come to glaring at me, like the villagers used to. It chills me, and my laughter leaves.

"You let him follow you around all the rest of the time," Sakura points out, sounding louder and more accusatory than I've ever heard her. "You must _like _his attention! Trying to keep us out of the way, huh?" Her tone is nasty.

My eyes widen. "No! Guys, I'm just trying to -" But as they stand there huffingly, glaring at me, I realize that I don't know how to explain. Sakura, whose biggest problem is a few childhood bullies, and Ino, whose biggest problem is her strict shinobi father, would never understand, even if I told them I was trying to keep Sasuke focused on something besides his past. They would never understand. They're just shallow, silly little girls with a jealous crush on a boy.

I sigh sharply. "Forget it," I mutter darkly. I turn and walk away, leaving Sakura and Ino standing there in the shadows, staring after me.

**_[Scene Break] _**

Author's Notes: So, there's Hinata! She'll start to play a more important part in Naruto's life just a bit later on. And we have more Sakura/Ino/Sasuke/Naruto tension. The situation had to come to a head eventually; it couldn't just stay where it was indefinitely. Now jealousy is starting to rear its ugly head.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	24. Chapter 23

_Chapter Twenty-Three_

Chichi is the only one I can think to confide in about what's going on, who I know will give me calm, objective, useful advice.

Ever since our first concert ended in October, my dance class has been focusing more on specific movements and synchronization. Sensei uses her small, muscled body to demonstrate movements to us, and makes us practice the movement back to her as a group over and over again until we have it perfectly in sync. Then we each have to perform the move for her individually, and she corrects our forms until we can all do the dance movement beautifully. Then we have to practice syncing as a group again. It's a rigorous, time-consuming, tedious process, but Sensei says that it will pay off in the end. "Before you know it, you'll all be getting faster at learning these things and better at doing them. Now stop whining!"

After class, on the afternoon after the scene on the playground at lunch, as all of the girls are sitting at the edge of the stage, moaning and stretching their cramped muscles, I lean over toward Chichi beside me. "Hey, Chichi," I begin, with unusual awkwardness, "... I need some advice."

Chichi looks up at me with eyebrows raised in surprise. But she remains silent, waiting.

I take a deep breath. "Well, you see... you know that Ino and Sakura like that guy who keeps bugging me, Sasuke. Right?"

Chichi nods slowly.

"Well... erm... see, the thing is, they kind of... don't like me very much right now. Because they just found out yesterday that Sasuke's been eating lunch in the tree above where _I _eat lunch, just so he can keep tabs on me." I still blink a little incredulously at the thought. "And now they're..."

"Jealous?" Chichi guesses, her voice deadpan and resigned. "I would expect so."

I sigh. She has a point. "I just... I don't know what to _do_!" I burst out. "I don't want Ino and Sakura to be upset with me, but the only way I can really fix that is to get Sasuke to stop _stalking _me, and I can't seem to be able to do that either!" I throw up my hands in anxiety and frustration.

"Is it getting that bad?" Chichi asks seriously. I nod fervently, my jaw clenched.

Chichi gazes at me for a moment. "I'm sorry, Naruto," she finally says, and she truly sounds it. "But I don't know if there's anything _you_ can do.

"For once, this is out of your hands. It's not you who's deciding to be immature... so you can't really do anything to stop it."

**_[Scene Break] _**

That evening, I sit at my new desk in my room, writing a letter.

Ever since Katsuya left for the capital, I have been writing him weekly letters. He always responds back, telling me about his tutoring, about his mother, and about life at the capital. He seems very eager to correspond with me. Poor boy, I don't think he has any friends where he lives.

"Naruto!" I hear a shout come from the bottom of the staircase beyond my open bedroom door. Putting down my pen, I push away from my desk and hurry downstairs. It is time for my latest training session with Ebisu, Ko, and Megumi.

My training has slowly, steadily advanced over the past few weeks. My sensory integration is becoming very good, so much so that I am starting to notice an improvement in my normal observation around me from day to day. In aiming with kunai and shuriken, I have mastered multiple targets and am moving on to the (much more difficult) moving targets. In senbon aiming, the training is slow going, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of how to hold and throw the senbon - now I just have to work on aiming and where to aim. Taijutsu, however, is mainly what I'll be focusing on today.

Megumi has completely taken over my taijutsu training by now. Not only is she helping me advance through the beginner's Water Dancing katas, but she is helping me integrate those female taijutsu moves and stretches that she taught me into my normal taijutsu. She'll walk me through a kata, make me practice it over and over again, then she'll have me think about what I just did and demonstrate for her how what I've learned about the differences in female bodies could help me better improve my kata. This new, improved kata is the kata I practice on my own time and set to mastering.

Today, however, as I show her my newest moves, I am distracted.

"What is it, Naruto?" she finally sighs after a few minutes, motioning for me to stop. I have not been messing up, but somehow, Megumi can usually tell when I'm distracted anyway.

I straighten up and bite my lip, rubbing a hand against my arm. "Well," I say, slightly sheepishly, "I'm sparring with S... someone, on the playground tomorrow, and I was just wondering... compared to someone else my age who's previously been trained in taijutsu, for about the same time as I have... how good do you think I am?"

Megumi gives me a long, analyzing look. I try my best not to fidget. "You are talented, Naruto-chan," she finally says, and I am surprised by the suffix. I haven't heard that in a while. "But there are some truly frightening people out there. It would depend on who the person is." I nod slowly, thinking. Realistically, I know Sasuke couldn't be that much better at taijutsu sparring than Shino... especially since, now, he has no one to practice with, I remind myself uncomfortably. But still - there's something about my spar with Sasuke that wasn't like my spar with Shino. Something that makes me nervous.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Megumi adds after a moment.

I consider confiding to her about Ino and Sakura and Sasuke... but somehow I can sense that Chichi's right. I can't do anything about this. Helplessness, I realize, is an awful feeling. I sigh.

"No, ma'am," I say, and walk off toward Ebisu and Ko to do my wall-walking and water-walking exercises.

**_[Scene Break]_**

Dinner that night is an excitable affair.

Jiji and Asuma-jii come home after dinner, as is normal by this point - Asuma-jii has slowly taken to eating dinner with us at the mansion. All the adults seem happier with this arrangement, even though none of them like to admit it, or to admit that they were wrong in their initial antagonism toward each other. They burst into the room excitedly (well, Asuma-jii bursts excitedly, Jiji just follows quietly behind in his robes of office) every evening, and Ko and I run over and hug them. Then they sit down at the table, and Aya sends Ko out to drag Sanken inside, while she and I set the food we've been making together on the table.

Once everyone is sitting down and eating in the kitchen, the ruckus begins.

"And then I ran in and it hit from the side and it sort of bounced 'cept it didn't go very much so it couldn't swing back and I couldn't hit it back and then I was like -"

"Konohamaru. Breathe."

"Sanken, stop stealing all the salad! Leave some for me! And _don't _you give me that look and then go to take some more! And Konohamaru, don't talk with your mouth full of food!"

"Heh heh."

"Naruto, stop snickering at him."

"Sorry."

"_Sorry!_"

"Konohamaru, stop mocking your sister - No, Naruto, no jumping across the table, and no attacking your brother! Be nice! He's the younger one!"

"How's that an excuse?"

"It means you have to be more mature."

"Well, that _sucks_."

"And don't say 'sucks'."

"But Aya, _everybody _says -"

"I don't care."

"But -!"

"Naruto, listen to Aya! Anyway, as I was saying Asuma, we _cannot _afford to have the Merchants' Council and the Civilians' Council bickering with each other -"

"But neither can we afford to let either of them gain more power, Tou-san...!"

"SANKEN, EAT SOMETHING BESIDES SALAD!"

"Stop yelling, you crazy woman! You sound like a banshee! I'll eat whatever the hell I want!"

"Don't you dare insult me! And no cursing in the house! Don't make me get out my giant spoon!"

"_Ooooooh_, it's the spoon, Sanken. You'd better apologize."

Family dinner is chaos... but it's warm chaos. It's what family is supposed to be, I think.

Tonight, I lean closer to Asuma-jii, where he's sitting beside me, about halfway through the meal. There has been a lull in his conversation with Jiji, and he is taking the opportunity to ladle more food onto his plate. "Asuma-jii?" I question in a quieter voice, so that the whole table doesn't have to hear. I am still distracted, thinking of what's going on tomorrow at lunch.

"Yeah, Hime?" he asks offhandedly, glancing at me idly as he takes a bite of his food.

I take a deep breath. I have decided not to ask Asuma-jii about the spar (he'd just tell me to not hold back, kick his ass, and I'd do fine), but about the other thing that's bothering me. "What do you do about fangirls?"

He starts and stares at me for a long moment. Then he blinks and says matter-of-factly, "Feed them to the lions. Shrieking end first."

Even as my eyes widen, I wonder vaguely why I expected anything different from Asuma-jii.

I frown in thought. I don't know where to find any lions, and I don't think I'd want to feed Ino and Sakura to one, anyway. "What if there's a shortage of lions?" I ask questioningly.

He shrugs. "Oh. Well, then, you're doomed."

I sigh. "Thanks," I say sarcastically.

"Anytime. You know how I love these touchy-feely little talks."

Jiji hears these last words and looks over at us with an odd expression. Asuma-jii and I duck our heads sheepishly and go back to our food. But across the table, we grin at each other.

**_[Scene Break]_**

The next morning at the Academy, I try my best to concentrate. I have to try, you see, because Sasuke is staring at me even more avidly than usual. His behavior is anticipating, impatient, almost excited. He seems fidgety in our Academic classes, easily bored and frustrated in our physical ones. He actually volunteers information in class in order to make it move faster (a couple of teachers nearly die of shock when he actually raises his hand), and he snaps at his fangirls when they get too close to him. He also can't stop sneaking long looks at me, as though gauging my own mood in anticipation of today's spar. I try not to let any of this get to me, but a few times I can't help glaring at him back. As usual, he always seems strangely pleased by this.

When the lunch bell rings, I jump from my seat and hurry out onto the grounds. Shikamaru, Chouji, and Shino follow me.

"How are you?" Chouji asks me quietly. They have been rather hesitant and confused by the mood between me and Sasuke today.

I flick my shoulders in a shrug. "Alright," I sigh. "Let's just get this over with."

There is a crowd of students waiting eagerly around our sparring section on the playground. I recognize them all from my spar with Shino yesterday, and Sakura and Ino are among the group. They have been avoiding me completely all morning, and are instead cheering for Sasuke among a large amount of other fangirls. This puts me in an even worse mood.

I stalk through the crowds, who whisper and part for me as I pass. Shikamaru, Chouji, and Shino stop at the front of the crowd, but before I go any further, Shino puts a hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him, scowling. "Calm down," he advises simply, and lets go of my shoulder.

Deep down, I know he's right. I close my eyes, take a deep steadying breath... and push all of my emotions away behind the numbness. When I open my eyes again and turn to face Sasuke, who is waiting for me in the middle of the sparring area smugly, my face and eyes are blank of all emotion. As he catches my expression, his smirk slowly fades and his arms uncross. He looks surprised and almost... worried.

I wonder vaguely if _he _sees something in _my _expression that others don't.

I walk slowly and calmly to the middle of the sparring area, and get into a ready stance before him. The crowd falls quiet. "Well," I say, and I hear my own hard, empty monotone, "are you ready?"

Sasuke slowly moves into a ready stance, not looking quite as sure as he did before.

**_[Scene Break]_**

****Author's Notes: I realize this is kind of a short, filler chapter, but I have a lot to cover next chapter and I had to set up for it.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	25. Chapter 24

_Chapter Twenty-Four_

_Sasuke_

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Ever since I... came back... my focus has been on Naruto. I was sure that by now, months later, I knew basically everything there was to know about her. I know that she wears formal black shinobi clothes during training, but that she prefers brighter, more casual clothes when I see her pass out on the streets with a friend. I know that she is casual, laughing, playful, talkative, interested, engaged with her friends, but that she is strangely formal, her head lifted proudly, cool and almost defiant when around large crowds of Konoha citizens, as if she is trying to prove herself worthy of the greatest man in the city adopting her. I know that not everyone sees her this way, but that she fights anyway, defending herself. I know all of her friends and her relationships with each of them, her favorite things to talk about, her interests in reading and music and gardening and cooking, her enjoyment of her dancing classes, her best and worst subjects, her temper, her independence, her helpfulness, her friendliness, her bizarre enjoyment of talking with strange people (even the most annoying ones), and her bewilderment with many other members of her gender. I know all of her typical gestures and expressions, and what each of them means.

Or, at least, I thought I did.

I don't know this one.

But no, that's not entirely true. I do know it. I recognize it. It is a more concentrated, openly cold version of the same haunted expression she had on her face when she looked at me the first day I came back. A more obvious version of the same expression that drew me to her in the first place. I curse myself when I realize that, in my hurry to learn more about Naruto, to make her into my rival, I forgot about the original reason I saw her as interesting and worth my time.

This is so much worse than that.

She stands straight, stock-still, her stance picture-perfect. Her face mirrors her body, blank, unmoving, revealing nothing. But that's normal. Normal, for a shinobi.

The disturbing part about her is her eyes.

It's not that there is nothing in them, because there _is_. Emotions and thoughts float across their surface, but - they don't go anywhere. They just float around in there, like her eyes aren't really eyes at all, but a pair of jellied eyeballs stuck into her head. Like her eyes are blank, floating, eerie, like they have been disconnected from her body. _Unhinged, _I think, and a chill goes through me despite myself. She has the look of someone who only connects what she sees to something that is happening to herself in the vaguest way, like only the thinnest of strings attaches her senses to her brain, and only in a concrete sort of way.

I know that look. Because my brother had it. My brother had it when he...

_That's why you're afraid, _a voice in the back of my mind tells me. _She reminds you of Itachi. _

Fury and self-loathing burn through me, even as the confusion and fear stubbornly remain. But how? How could Naruto and Itachi be similar in_ any_ way?

And then I remember something else, another damnably important thing I had forgotten: there's one thing I still don't know about Naruto. Her past. I filled in 'she's an orphan' with vague lines of pain and forgot about it. I don't know anything about Naruto.

I don't know _anything_ about Naruto... except what I can tell from a distance.

Then she attacks.

I dodge her opening attack easily, but that seems to have been her goal. She jumps away again, fast, just far enough away that I can't hit her back immediately, just close enough that she's tantalizingly near. This is her taijutsu, I remember, pulling myself back to the present with a jerk. Teasing.

The look in her eyes isn't. It's cold and intense and that same eerie, staring blank, all at the same time. The only goal left in her mind is to attack me. The only goal I have to think of is attacking her in return.

And so we begin, dancing around each other. She kept up with Shino through speed, but I am faster, my attacks are direct and sharp and chopping, but hers flow around me, my defenses are strong, but I can't look for hers because they are her jumps and attacks and weaves. Liquid fights fire, and wind fights earth. I've never had a spar this... abstract before. I realize I have retreated into my own mind, and she has too; we are simply communicating through our fists. I am on an intense sort of plane where I've lost sight of everything else and this is all that matters.

We are matched. Even.

Then, suddenly, she spins around me, hits my back, knocks me to the ground, and pins me down.

_She just won, _I think, too distant even to be shocked, as sound abruptly returns back to normal. Loud noise, gasps and cheers and cries, sound around us, discordant, flowing over me, insensible. I am afraid and exhilarated at what I have just uncovered, and I have no idea what it even_ is_ yet. Strange and new, disturbing solid certainties and foundations within me.

Abruptly, her hard breathing is right next to my ear, and when I look up to her, just staring, her eyes are reconnected, flooding electric blue with vitality and life and angry fire. "If you want to talk to me," she hisses under the sounds around us, "talk to me. If you want to fight, we'll fight. But I have no patience for a_ coward_ who sits around in the shadows nearby, wanting to come closer but too afraid of himself to try." She lets me go of her surprisingly hard grip and stands up above me. "Stop bothering me," she says coldly, and walks away.

I lie there in the aftermath, becoming aware of my labored breathing, stunned - too stunned to hide it, unusual for me. I come to an important realization right then, in a split moment. Friends and rivals, of the truest sort, go hand in hand, and in order to be one for her, I must also be the other.

And I realize I want to be. Have wanted to be. But _was _I afraid of myself? Afraid of getting close, equally afraid of hurting them by getting close.

_But I can't hurt Naruto, _I think to myself. _Someone has already hurt her worse than I ever could. Someone like her Itachi. That's why she reminds me of Itachi. _

I think of Naruto for a moment, Naruto as she normally is: brave, pushing past everything, lively. I don't want her to turn out like Itachi did.

_And I don't want to, either._ Strangely, everything considered, I have never had that exact thought before.

I think for a moment, foolishly, that perhaps as friends, we could help each other. Then, following that, more concretely, more meaningfully, _Perhaps if I get closer, I won't annoy her so much. Perhaps as a friend and rival, I can learn about her past. _An intense curiosity forms within me.

It seems almost a natural progression, lying there on the ground, beaten. _Well, something has to be done about this, _I think exasperatedly, surprising and relieving myself with the lack of darkness in the thought. _Certainly, if she can beat me like this, if she doesn't see me as an equal like this, something else must be tried._

And that, more than anything, convinces me.

Then the moment passes and the world returns to normal again. But I have changed.

"Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!" I hear cries - female cries - and I resist a groan, slamming my hard annoyed mask firmly back into place on reflex as they all kneel down to crowd around me. Naruto's two annoying friends are first and foremost in my line of vision. "Sasuke-kun, are you alright?"

"She must have cheated somehow!"

"I can't believe she'd be so ruthless!"

"You're still the best, Sasuke-kun!"

"_Shut up_," I finally growl, sitting up and rubbing at my head irritably.

"Yeah, shut up, guys!" Yamanaka, who was one of the loudest, scolds the rest of the girls immediately. "He might be hurt, geez!"

"I'm fine," I snap coldly, standing up quickly and pushing my way through all the irritating, calling, _touching _people around me to get somewhere alone and quiet.

I need to think.

**_[Scene Break]_**

It doesn't take Sakura and Ino long to come find me. Shikamaru, Shino, and Chouji knew better than to try to talk to me on my huge rush of anger and adrenaline, but Sakura and Ino are angry, too.

I am sitting on the tree-swing in the Academy's empty front yard, trying to calm myself down, when they charge up to me indignantly and stand in front of me, eyes flashing, hands on their hips. "Naruto, I can't believe you did that!" Sakura accuses immediately, her eyes narrowed.

"What, beat him in a spar? Did you think he was that good?" I ask dryly, with calm humor I don't at all feel.

"Sasuke-kun's a_ great shinobi_!" Ino hisses, and I raise my hands in the universal placating gesture.

"I know," I ground out, wondering when my two best friends became so irritating. "He _was_ talented. And I beat him with a move he didn't expect. Happens all the time. Ask your Dad," I add to Ino, my gaze almost challenging.

"I know how the shinobi world works!" Ino insists furiously.

"Yeah, we're not stupid, Naruto!" Sakura grates. "You're not any better than us!"

I stare at their angry, jealous faces. "Yeah," I say slowly, something simmering beneath my chest, "I _know_..."

"You sure don't seem to," Ino sneers.

"How the hell would you know?" I shoot back, the simmering thing within my chest exploding outward before I can stop myself. "It's not like either of you are ever paying attention to _me_! We don't even talk anymore, just because I'm not interested in _Sasuke_!" I stand up, panting, glaring at them.

"A likely story!" Sakura snaps, angrier than I've ever seen her. That rare fire I used to admire so much flares in her green eyes again. "He's _interested_ in _you_, why would you not be?"

"Because, contrary to popular belief, the world doesn't revolve around Uchiha Sasuke!" I yell, my fists clenched, leaning toward them.

Ino makes a noise I don't even know what to call. "You know what, Naruto!" she yells back. "Sakura and I have been talking, and if you can't handle us not paying attention to precious little _you_ for once -" _What the hell? _I think before I can stop myself - "and if you're really going to rival us over Sasuke-kun, then we don't want to be friends with you anymore!"

There's abrupt silence in the clearing. My eyes widen, and I stare at them, beyond words. "... What?" I finally ask very quietly, the emotion inside me deflating like a pin in a balloon.

"Yeah," Sakura adds, sneering, and she is the farthest thing from the sweet little girl I befriended a year and a half ago that I have ever seen, "bet you weren't expecting that, were you? I wonder what the precious little pretend adopted princess will do without her followers?"

"... Only Ami and the other fangirls have ever called me a princess," I finally say quietly, extremely hurt, but being careful not to show it.

They don't seem to realize what the significance of this is, for they only sneer at me once more. "Yeah?" says Ino. "Well, it's about time someone else did. Have fun on your stupid swing, _Naruto-hime_."

And they just turn around... and walk away.

_The woman, Takara-sensei, explains that we are indeed practicing flower arrangement today. Just before she dismisses us, she asks the two girls sitting next to me to explain to me what to do._

_They seem all too eager to do this. I already knew about the decree forbidding the adults of the village to talk about my status as a Jinchuuriki – it was one of the first pieces of village history that Jiji ever taught me – so I knew that no one my age would know I held a demon, but I still hadn't expected the other girls to be so… eager to speak with me. Is it because I live with the Hokage?_

_The girl with the red ribbon threaded though her short, strawberry blonde hair introduces herself as Haruno Sakura. The girl with the pretty hair clip in her platinum blonde hair introduces herself as Yamanaka Ino._

_**She blinks and scrunches up her face for a moment at my answer. Before I can ask her if something is wrong, the smile is back. "So," she continues casually, "I saw that you were talking with Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino."**_

_**Ami pauses here, as if waiting for a response. After a moment, I nod uncertainly, not sure what she's expecting me to say.**_

_**Her smile widens. "You just got here, so I wouldn't expect you to know this," she explains, managing to sound much more condescending than Jiji or Shigeru-jii or Aya or even Sanken do when they're explaining something to me. "No one cool ever hangs around with Haruno Sakura."**_

_**She rolls her eyes slightly. The girls around her titter, the first thing they've done other than just stand there.**_

_**I frown, honestly confused. "What do you mean?"**_

_**Her voice takes on a slightly nasally quality. "No one likes her. She's a whiny little know-it-all Forehead Girl," she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And Ino just lets her follow her around like a lost puppy because she's trying to be like me, but isn't cool enough to know how to do it right." The girls around her apparently think this is funny. They giggle. Shrilly.**_

_**I think I understand, but I hope I don't. "You don't like Sakura because she knows a lot and she's got a wide forehead," I say slowly, to make sure I have this right. "And you don't like Ino because she's friends with her?"**_

_**Ami's face scrunches up again. "Careful," she says, sounding a little sour. "You sounded almost like Forehead Girl for a minute there."**_

_**I decide I don't like this girl. She's mean and stupid.**_

_**"I like Sakura and Ino," I say hotly, standing up abruptly. "Go away."**_

_**Ami sputters. The other girls' eyes widen. "You're choosing them over me?" she asks angrily… disbelievingly.**_

_**"They're my friends," I shoot back, before I can think about what I'm saying. "And you're mean. And for your information, I think being a merchant is one of the least important jobs in the whole village! Ninjas are way better!"**_

_**Ami makes a funny squealing noise and starts toward me, clenching her fists. I'm too angry to even be scared and wait for her to try to hit me. But suddenly, Cat is standing between us. She doesn't even have to say anything. The moment the other girls see her, they shriek and start running away. Ami stumbles back from her, squealing louder, and then she turns tail and follows the rest of the girls.**_

_**It's actually pretty funny.**_

_**Then Cat turns to me and my smile fades. I shrink back. I can't believe I couldn't even go one day without getting into a fight with someone. But it wasn't entirely my fault! Ami was being really mean. Still, I don't think a lady would have yelled back at her.**_

_**Cat doesn't reprimand me, however. She just points behind me quietly.**_

_**I turn, and my eyes widen to see Sakura and Ino hiding nearby, staring at me from behind a tree. There is a moment of silence as my heart flies into my throat in fear. I called them my friends. I didn't mean to; it just sort of came out. What if they don't like that I think of them that way? Then Ino steps out from behind the tree.**_

_**She grins, and there's something warmer about her face. "I think," she says, "I just might like you."**_

_**Sakura trots up behind her and gives me a small, sincere smile. "Thanks," she whispers, like I just did something great for her.**_

_**Now my heart is in my throat for a different reason.**_

_"So, the Yamanaka heiress and a girl with pinkish hair. You have picked some interesting friends, Naruto-san."_

_"Good," I say, wrinkling my nose a little. "Who would want boring friends? That doesn't sound like much fun."_

**_The minute we were able to break free of Takara-sensei and the demonstrators (who never looked me in the eye; I couldn't tell if this was deliberate or not), Ino grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to a quiet alcove of the shop's back room. Sakura was right on her heels._**

**_"What's going on?" she hissed at me. Behind her, Sakura's face was pale. "What was that in the street?"_**

**_I tried to feign innocence, suspecting it would be useless. "What was what in the street?"_**

**_"Don't give me that. You know what I mean." Ino was at her bossiest. I had begun to realize over the past couple of days of being her friend that this most likely meant she was at her most self-conscious or worried. "The adults won't stop giving you this…" she floundered for a good word, "… look," she finished lamely._**

**_"My parents seemed worried when I told them I was hanging out with you," Sakura added, looking at me with something like shame. "I told them you were nice, but I'm not sure if they believed me."_**

**_For a long moment, I stared at them, frantically worried and not sure what to say. Was I about to lose my first two real friends? "You know I was adopted," I finally replied, my throat dry. "The Hokage adopted me. Before that, I was an orphan. I…" I couldn't tell them. I couldn't. "I think my parents might have done something, but I don't know. No one likes to talk about it."_**

**_I did always wonder about my parents… before I knew. It was the closest I could come to the truth._**

**_"Are we… are we still friends?" I asked tentatively._**

**_Ino stared at me for a long moment, but Sakura was the first to reply. "Yeah," she said, smiling at me in her quiet way. "Yeah, we are."_**

**_Ino finally relaxed and sighed. "Of course," she muttered, as if to herself. "Of course we are."_**

_Sakura and Ino join me a few minutes later, Ino in a soft silver and blue kimono decorated with waves, like the sea. They say nothing as they stand beside me, watching the backstage area slowly fill with dressed up girls, but I can feel them glancing uneasily at me out of the corners of their eyes. They seem to be doing that a lot lately._

_Then, suddenly, an unwelcome voice shouts out across the room, "Well well well, if it isn't Little Miss Whiskers!"_

_The three of us turn to see Ami and her usual posse coming toward us. Usually, when we are too close to Cat, it keeps them away. But, even though she turns her blank mask to look at them as well, they don't pause. Ami's round, scrunched-up face is too eager for hesitation. She has been waiting for this._

_"When I gave you the nickname, I didn't think you'd take it quite so literally," she sneers, eyeing my face. The girls behind her shriek with laughter._

_I don't have to hide any embarrassment this time. A strong, burning kind of defiance has arisen within me, and I feel more powerful than I ever have. I glare at them, angry and indignant for the first time, instead of passive and numb and hesitant of insulting the people around me, at their laughing at something I have no control over. Something that has already brought me so much pain._

_"Ooh, I'm sorry, have I insulted you, My Lady?" Ami says, dark eyes flashing at mine._

_"Lay off, Ami!" Sakura, of all people, shouts suddenly, fiercer than I have ever seen her toward anyone. Perhaps shy little Sakura has a fire hidden somewhere inside her too, I think, as I watch her green eyes widen with a kind of protective anger I've never seen in her before._

_"Standing up for Whiskers, Forehead Girl?" Ami's expression becomes even crueler as she turns to the quiet, bookish girl that I know for a fact she used to pick on before Ino stepped in and got right up in her face, fending her off and befriending Sakura in the process. "Why? I'm just being polite. If Her Ladyship is offended, I want to know what I've done to make it so."_

_"Bullshit," Ino says bluntly, taking a step toward Ami and her friends. A couple of them gasp quietly, and even I'm a bit startled. I've only ever heard that word a few times before: from the matron when she was drunk, and once from Shigeru-jii when he thought I wasn't listening._

_The thought of Shigeru-jii, right in the midst of all of this, punches a hole somewhere inside me. I retreat into myself suddenly, and the anger fades a little._

_Everyone in the backstage area has stopped to watch by now, even the few people who haven't seemed to have taken one side or the other. The adults are off helping one of the groups, except for Cat, who is watching us all inscrutably. No one is around to stop us._

_"Why... I would never say such a horrible word!" Ami says shrilly, wrinkling her nose. "I'm a proper lady!"_

_"That's because you're your Daddy's Little Girl." Ino's icy blue eyes gleam as her pointed face twists into a smirk. "And I'm mine."_

_There is a moment of silence in which Ami's eyes widen. Ino is threatening Ami, I realize. With the head of a major founding ninja clan against a mere merchant, however wealthy, there is no contest as to who would win. No matter how much she might say to the contrary, Ami has to know this. She has to have been taught something about her place in the world by her father already._

**_For a moment, in front of my vision is the Room, the matron standing above me again. The music screams in my ears._**

**_Then something touches my shoulder and I whirl around to see Cat standing there, her hand held above me as if she'd just moved it away. I stare up at her blank white mask. The mask stares back. Finally, Cat's black gloved hand points and I turn to see Sakura and Ino standing several feet up the sidewalk, looking at me quizzically. In front of them is the class, still continuing on up the street._**

**_The Room is gone. The matron is gone. That is not me anymore. I realize that I am a very different person now. A happier one. I have gained the right to live._**

**_Sakura smiles and waves to me. "Come on!" I see her mouth, though I can't hear her over the music._**

**_I glance at the orphanage one more time before pointedly turning my back on it. I run away from the dark memories, to my friends._**

And now, over a year later, I stare after them as they turn their backs on me and walk away, full of more hurt than they could even imagine. Only the orphanage matron has ever betrayed me so fiercely.

**_[Scene Break]_**

I run home, past Aya in the kitchen. She calls after me, startled, as I sprint up the stairs, but I don't answer her, bursting into my room and throwing myself on my bed. Tears of anger, fury, frustration, hurt, upset, and loathing (whether at myself or others, I can't tell) wells up within me and runs out through my eyes. I lie there on my bed and sob. It's been a long time since I've felt so cold and alone.

Once, an indeterminable amount of time later, I hear small footsteps pad quickly and eagerly up to my bedroom door. Konohamaru's scent appears excitedly in my doorway. "Nee-chan!" he exclaims, "Look at this!"

I clench my fists in the pillow and try to stay my sobs, the tears running silently down my face. I don't look up.

"... Nee-chan?" he asks after a moment, quieter and more hesitant, almost timid.

I feel guilty for a moment. "Please just go away," I whisper.

After a pause, he leaves quietly.

But later, hours later perhaps, I hear another set of footsteps come up to my room instead. _Jiji_, I recognize, and my nose confirms it. The familiar smell of age, clean linen, and woodsmoke.

I am lying on my bed, staring out the window stained with pink and gold from the sunset, drained and spent. He sits down quietly on the bed behind me. I remember Shigeru-jii once doing the same thing after I'd told him about Ko, and feel another flash of pain, making my insides even worse.

"Naruto," Jiji says evenly, his tone holding that inexplicable firm note of authority to it, "I just got home from work, and Konohamaru told me I should come talk to you. Did something happen at school today?"

I am silent for a moment. "... Sakura and Ino don't want to be friends with me anymore," I finally say in a very small, trembling voice. My first friends ever, and they don't want to be friends with me anymore.

Jiji lets out a deep, weary sigh. "What happened?"

I sniff. "Sasuke's interested in me, and they have a crush on him so they're being _stupid _about it," I bite out, hurt.

"Ah," Jiji says, as though this is a great piece of wisdom, and then there is silence in the room for a while. "... Do you want my experience?" he asked lowly.

Reluctantly, I turn back around to face him. "... Sure."

He smiles a little, his eyes wise indeed. "I believe the saying goes 'this, too, shall pass'," he tells me. I blink at him, uncoiling a little.

"You think?" I ask tremblingly after a moment, hopeful despite myself.

"Yes," he says simply, nodding. "It may take some time... but eventually, they'll get over it. This is a rather common problem in young girls, I'm afraid, Naruto-chan. And there's nothing you can do about it." Despite his words, his tone is almost amused.

I sniff, giving a small, watery smile. "... That's what Asuma-jii said. In so many words," I admit after a moment.

"In so many words," Jiji chuckles. "That describes him rather well, I think."

I nod, my smile widening. Then it fades as I reflect back on my afternoon. "It's just... it's so frustrating and sad," I say in a small voice, and he reaches down to give me a brief hug.

"I know," he says. Then he leans back up. "But we shinobi must be brave, whether it is in the face of deadly weapons or human stupidity."

I laugh despite myself. "Thanks, Jiji," I say seriously after a moment.

He nods and stands. "You're welcome. Now come down to dinner, hm?"

**_[Scene Break]_**

The next morning is hard.

Shika, Chouji, and Shino seem to understand that something has happened, because when I sit down next to them in our first class, unusually quiet, and glance at Ino and Sakura across the room before firmly looking away, my jaw clenched (they glare at me and then do the same) the three of them carefully say nothing. They sit by me, a nonverbal show of support. I am extremely grateful for this, but am not sure I am up to telling them today.

Then Uchiha Sasuke comes in.

He ignores all the fangirls' elated cries of "Sasuke-kun!" He walks right past their eager faces. He completely ignores every attempt to ask him to sit with them - including Ino's, and Sakura's.

And he completely ignores the vicious glares turned in our general direction when he sits smoothly next to me instead. Not behind me, even. _Next _to me. Where Ino and Sakura were yesterday. Sakura and Ino are now among the glaring fangirls on the other side of the room, and I have to turn away from the sight with a pang of internal pain.

Instead, I turn to Sasuke (who my friends are gaping at) and snap at him, more angrily than usual, "What are _you _doing here?" I know it isn't rational to blame Sasuke for Sakura and Inos' betrayal, but... that's what I think of when I see him taking their place.

Sasuke, to my surprise, just smirks. "I'm taking your advice," he counters.

My eyes narrowed, I am about to spit out what does he mean by _that _- but then I realize. My eyes widen.

He's saying he wants to be my friend.

_**[Scene Break]**_

**Author's Notes: **Hmm... after all this time away, I come back with a lot of drama.

I'm posting early because I'm leaving the state in a few days, and I wanted to get this up beforehand.

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Chichi seems to have become my interactive diary counselor somewhere along the way. She does this job with expert poise.

"It's just... it's just so _weird_," I try to explain to her as we're sitting on the stage one day after dancing classes are over. My face furrowed into a frown, I attempt to find the words. "It's such a sudden - reversal. I mean, I knew Ino and Sakura and I were becoming... distant..." I feel a ping of pain. "But somehow, I never thought even they would be petty enough... to..." I sigh, trailing off, feeling awful. Is that really what I though of Ino and Sakura by the end - the temporary end, at least, I tell myself to lessen the hurt - of our friendship? That they were petty? That we had nothing in common anymore?

"I am sorry, Naruto," Chichi says quietly after a moment.

I look up at her with a small, sad smile. "Thanks," I say in a melancholy voice.

"And Sasuke? How is he? Does his offer seem genuine?" she asks thoughtfully.

I frown in confusion once more, thinking back on what is probably the oddest thing about this whole event. "Yes," I say in bewilderment. "Yes, it does. I mean... I didn't even intend to _say_ those things I said at the spar one day... I was just so..." _Angry, empty, frustrated, full of adrenaline._

"Upset?" Chichi guesses. I nod. It's the best word I could come up with. "But maybe it was best," she continues cautiously. "That you said those things, I mean. Clearly, something finally got through to him. This is preferable to his previous behavior for all involved, yes?"

"All except the fangirls," I agree with a dry smile. Ino and Sakura's remembered glares and snide comments at me in class these past few days force me to shove back another moment of hurt. In an attempt to distract myself from this, I try to explain Sasuke. "He... he's not different, exactly. It's just that now - he talks. It was really bizarre for all four of us at first. He talks to Shikamaru about strategy and traps and weapons, he talks to Shino about training and taijutsu and jutsu and precision and books - I didn't even know he liked_ reading_ outside of training scrolls. I mean, that's something we actually have in _common_. Little things like that, you know? And then he knows all the best places where the five of us can meet up somewhere in Konoha where it's quiet and peaceful and secluded and nature-y and no one will bother us... Says he walks around a lot. Knows the village and its hiding places probably better than anyone else in the Academy. And he's really good at sparring - he insists we spar almost every day at lunch for a few minutes, and it's... it's great. I'm never as... upset... as I was that one day, and when I'm not, I can really appreciate how evenly matched we are." I almost smile, sort of happy at the memory - which is just weird, considering it's of Sasuke. "But I guess, mostly, it's strange how nice he is. He's very quiet, you know, very reserved... almost shy, like Chouji. He's just very determined in his shinobi work. Otherwise, he's... quiet and competitive and almost considerate... he's just... nice." My voice is small by the end. "I guess I didn't expect that. He seems a lot... different... now that he has friends and he's training with us and learning with us. Less... angry. Which is good, because that's what I wanted for him! But..."

"But it's hard to reconcile your image of him with this new one," Chichi finishes, her tone matter-of-fact, for all that it's a bit younger than mine. Her black eyes gaze at me calmly from below her tight, precise hair bun. I nod again. "Naruto," she points out, "I think all that will take... is time."

I think about this, and after a couple of moments I huff out a breath and smile wanly. "Yeah... I guess so... it's just... all these changes are _exhausting_, you know?" I sigh and flop back against the stage. "Life's complicated."

There are a few moments of peaceful silence.

"Hey, Chichi," I finally say. She turns to look at me curiously. "The five us are meeting somewhere in Konoha tomorrow. You know, to do stuff, after school," I explain, shrugging. Then I smile. "You want to join us?"

Chichi's eyes widen in infinite surprise... and something not unlike childish happiness.

**_[Scene Break]_**

As I told Chichi, things_ have_ been changing at the Academy these days. I still do well in most of my classes, and I train as hard as I ever did, but... things are so different otherwise.

Ino and Sakura are not the only differences, although their painful deliberate antagonism toward me these days in the classes we share together is like salt in a wound, and they are still ridiculous Sasuke fangirls. No, there are other differences as well.

For a nice change of pace, I have been feeling unusually relaxed at the Academy for a while now. No longer is anyone glaring at my back or following me around or trying to push me into something I don't want to do. Instead, the very same person who used to do all of that is now sitting, much happier and quietly satisfied with himself, among my friends every day during class and at lunch. Lunch is more complicated than class. We are assaulted by endless barrages of fangirls at first, but Sasuke quickly shows that he can still be cold, uncaring, and even cruel by telling them all in very flat, glaring, stiffened, not-so-polite language to go away; he doesn't want them around. The fangirls will leave - some hurt, some angry - and our group is soon left to ourselves. Shikamaru, Shino, Chouji, and I are always left staring at Sasuke with various degrees of uncertainty or wariness as the fangirls shuffle away, but his demeanor does a complete one-eighty as soon as he's talking with us again. He almost seems to be doing as much to get into our good graces as possible... I'm just not sure _why _he changed directions so suddenly.

More than that, though, Sasuke, we quickly learn, is extremely intelligent. More than merely talented, he is already showing himself to be well-read and a good strategist. Nothing on the bored genius level of Shikamaru, and not the logical precision of Shino either... more of a natural interest in and quickness for spouting off and working with ideas, especially as they relate to fighting. He enjoys talking about theories, history, shinobi strategy, weapons, traps, chakra... and he is slightly obsessed with improving himself through training, which is something we expected more. He loves being challenged, he loves proving himself in competition and showing himself off as being talented, and he takes to having other people to train with - both at the Academy, and when we all meet up after school with Chichi - with a quiet fervency, almost a hunger to have others to improve against, to bounce ideas off of. He will lead the four of us to some secluded place or training ground he's found around Konoha, and we might talk or play for a while, but Sasuke _needs_ training, especially with us, in a way that I don't entirely understand - it's like his lifeblood.

Each member of my new group of friends develops a different dynamic around each other. I was already friends with all of them, of course, but watching them group up and interact with each other is... interesting.

Sasuke is the newest to everyone. He is very naturally reserved, a surprisingly unforceful presence as he walks along beside or behind us, his face somewhat stoic, usually simply listening. He talks about ideas, or he talks about training, but he doesn't talk about a lot else - occasionally he'll ask questions when he comes across something he didn't already know about one of us, showing that he is, in fact, soaking everything in like a sponge. Curious despite myself, I - the only truly extraverted member of the group - ask him questions about himself sometimes with a wary sort of interest, and he is surprisingly agreeable to answering questions, albeit in a quiet, clinical sort of way, his dark eyes assessing me reservedly the entire time as he answers. I don't ask very personal things - his favorite foods, his favorite places to be, his favorite things to do... stuff like that. He is very much a fruit person, he seems to enjoy secluded, soothing, quiet places (he never mentions anything to do with his clan or their old grounds; we learn that he's been moved into an apartment in Konoha where someone from the village government checks up on him occasionally; there is a quiet tension to his jaw and fire in his eyes when he says this, and we quickly let the subject be). Aside from his reading and his walks, he has a sort of extracurricular interest in weapons and traps, and he wants to learn more about jutsu. Only three things about him truly surprise me. The first is that we have the same taste in books. The second is how much he already seems to know about me - was he _really_ listening in all that time? The third is how well he gets along, not only with bored and nonoffensive and genius Shikamaru, or with cool and precise and logical but inwardly firey and determined Shino, or with me - in other words, people he has something in common with - but with Chouji and Chichi as well. He seems to detect Chouji's shy, kind self-consciousness immediately, and is surprisingly considerate toward it, in a neutral, mildly puzzled sort of way. Chichi, whose solemn observations I had thought might make Sasuke uncomfortable, is the biggest surprise of all. The two seem to develop a sort of quiet understanding, with Chichi showing a kind of curious, academic interest in Sasuke, and Sasuke showing a kind of passive respect toward Chichi.

Chichi is the second-newest, and she appears happy to be included, in her own serious, hidden sort of way. She and Shino have a sort of big-brother, little-sister relationship. (Shino is surprisingly cautious of Chichi's curiosity toward Sasuke's behavior, past, and instability at first, but Chichi shrugs this off, and Shino eventually seems to think it illogical to speak to one who will not listen.) Chouji accepts her as easily into his group of friends as he does everyone else. She enjoys asking knowledgeable Shikamaru countless questions and hearing him moan, "Troublesome..." as her little voice pipes up matter-of-factly from his shoulder once more.

Shikamaru, Shino, and Chouji are more familiar with the new dynamic and mostly seem curious about the two new additions I have brought in. They each react to them in different ways. Chouji shrugs it off and includes everyone anyway, munching on his snacks idly, as quiet and uncommenting and hard to be angry with as ever. Shino assesses everyone, especially Sasuke, piercingly - but not suspiciously. Suspicion isn't really Shino's style unless he feels it's seriously warranted. Shikamaru is hardest to read, even harder than Chouji. He gets to know everyone amiably enough and mutters his usual "Troublesome"s in response to almost everything in life, but his eyes are always observant, always taking everything in.

The only thing they all seem to have in common is how they react to me. They are all kind to me - my good friends - something I am more grateful for than I could say in the weeks after Ino and Sakura's breakup with me. During this time I am quieter and less lively than usual, my smiles a bit weaker than normal as I try to keep optimistic, try to keep the memories from weighing me down. Sasuke, for all that he has gotten to know me most recently, can see immediately when I am having more trouble than other times (I am not sure why this is, but I can, uncomfortably, guess at it). He will quietly come and sit beside me firmly, eyeing me frankly, as if that will keep anything bad from happening. This will usually cue my other friends to notice that I am upset, and as if on cue, Shikamaru will smirk and make some sort of crass joke or comment. Chouji will grin and add something in with quiet mischief, Shino will state matter-of-factly that 'such-and-such is not possible' and will promptly ignore any eye-rolls in his direction, and Chichi will raise her eyebrows at it all, faintly amused.

Occasionally, when Ino and Sakura walk by and glare at me, their faces twisting, because Sasuke is sitting next to me, he will look from them to my shadowed, hurt expression, his own face quietly frustrated. "... Sorry," he'll finally mutter, but when I turn to look at him in surprise, his gaze will be firmly off to the side, almost gruff, but more composed.

I sigh and shake my head. "It's alright," I whisper back, hating carrying this knowledge around inside of my chest: "I think it would have happened anyway."

**_[Scene Change]_**

Megumi is sympathetic when she hears about Ino and Sakura, but that doesn't stop her or Ebisu from working me and Ko until we're ready to drop in training anyway.

Today they're working us together: doing one of those rare days when Ko and I still train alongside each other. We're bent down over the mat in the underground chamber, doing pushups to Ebisu's sharp countdown, Megumi kneeling down beside us to adjust our stances and make sure we're going down far enough. "Lower," she tells Ko calmly, watching him go up and down.

"Your teacher's a sadist," Ko puffs out to me in between pushups. "And yes, I know what that is," he adds flatly before I can ask. Sometimes I think Ko is too smart for his own good.

"I know she is," I pant, grinning, when Megumi does not respond before us, just watching us expressionlessly. "That's why I like her."

Finally, we finish, and as the four of us run up to the kitchen we meet Jiji, Asuma-jii, Aya, and Sanken already there. "Thank you," Jiji says, nodding evenly to our two tutors as they prepare to take their leave.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Ebisu says in his usual smug fashion. "We're the best." I think I catch Megumi roll her eyes briefly from behind him, though it comes and goes too quickly for me to be sure.

"The best?" Asuma-jii questions her, grinning, from beside her. "You're the best, eh?" Megumi gives him a dry sort of look and turns to leave, unimpressed by his charm. "Well, I don't know, I just think that's a pretty bold statement!" Asuma calls after her mischievously as he follows them out of the room.

"That man," Aya sighs, before handing Ko and me plates and utensils. "Set the table."

"Slaves!" Ko shouts out to the sky as he puts a plate in front of his grandfather. "Slavery and drudgery!" Jiji's lips twitch above his goatee.

"Your complaint is duly noted," he says, just as he would in his Tower office.

"Jiji," I say in confusion, "I've always wanted to ask you... what does that actually do?"

"Exactly what we intend it to. Absolutely nothing."

Sanken snorts. "File that in your memory, kids. You're never going to hear him admit to it again." Jiji gives him a Look, but there's too much quiet amusement in it for him to be serious.

Asuma-jii eventually wanders back in after he's finished flirting with Megumi. I raise an eyebrow at him. He shrugs shamelessly. I roll my eyes, and he grins.

**_[Scene Break] _**

_Dear Katsuya,_

_I got your last letter. I'm so happy your mother's been feeling better lately! I'm... well... I'm okay. Sakura and Ino are being really stupid about that guy I told you about, Sasuke, but otherwise I'm alright. Shikamaru is, too - everything's as 'troublesome' as ever. And, in other news, that Sasuke guy is being even stranger than usual. Now he's gone from being my stalker to trying to be my friend! They say girls are complicated, but I don't understand guys at all. Any insight?_

_I really like that book you recommended to me, the one about the performer and the rich man. I'm so envious you get to see its play in theatre! I need to visit the capital sometime this summer! Then you can take me. Until then, I'm afraid you and your mother are just going to have to go it alone. Ha, try not to be too heartbroken, okay? But Asuma-jii has promised to take me and Ko to see the movie form this weekend, so at least I'll get to see that! Ko's not nearly as excited as I am - he's been very whiny lately. I think he's going through some Terrible Fives. I tell him sometimes that if he keeps on complaining, his shinobi muscles will wither away and die every time he speaks. He stops complaining after that. Then he just sits there and pouts._

_It's heading toward winter here, but the temperature change is so small that you can barely tell. I wish for snow, but I'm not getting my hopes up. It's funny... I never used to wish for snow. But the mansion is a lot warmer than the orphanage I used to live in was. And now I can enjoy how beautiful it is and how fun it is to play in it!_

_Hopeful as ever._

_Your Friend, _

_Naruto_

**_[Scene Change]_**

The next day at the Academy, on my way out to lunch, Sakura and Ino push past my shoulder. "Watch where you're going, princess," Ino says snottily, and Sakura glares at me over her shoulder as they walk away. I glare back, feeling that inward pang of pain again at the thought of Ino and Sakura.

I go out to sit under the tree with my friends, gloomy. The boys are watching boredly as Shino's bugs swarm around from his sleeve and into the glass. He is concentrating frownedly, trying to control where they move. All four of them look up as I sit down beside them.

"Hey, Naruto," Chouji says quietly, offering me some of his food. I smile quietly at him, trying to hide the fact that something is bothering me.

But I can't help thinking... I miss having a girl friend at the Academy. I have Chichi, of course, but she's not around when I'm at school... and besides, it's not the same with her. Chichi isn't really the joking type, and she isn't the most feminine girl around either. Which is fine... but... I miss having a best friend.

Sasuke nudging my shoulder breaks me out of my reverie. "Spar?" he questions, raising his eyebrows expectantly. I can see that he has caught my mood and is trying to distract me. He's good at that. It's odd, really, but I suppose he might be able to understand things about me that other kids couldn't.

I frown in thought, wanting to agree, but also wishing I was more enthusiastic about the idea. I cast my eyes behind him, trying to respond... and I catch sight of quiet little Hyuuga Hinata, still sitting alone on the other side of the playground, the same as the first day she got here. I get a sudden idea. _Maybe... it's time for a more direct approach._

"Actually, you know what, guys, I'll be right back," I say suddenly, ignoring their surprised looks as I push myself unexpectedly up away from the ground and duck around groups, across the playground, toward Hinata.

She looks up, blinking hesitantly, as my shadow falls above her. I give my best friendly smile, sitting down beside her. Hinata looks shy, and at the same time vaguely curious.

Spurred by some emotion I can't quite name, I take a deep breath and say, "Hi. You want to be friends?"

**_[Scene Break]_**

Author's Notes: Lots of description of adjustments in this chapter. I'll probably be covering most of the rest of this school year, then do a time skip to their graduation, but from here to the time skip, the changes shouldn't be quite as abrupt and severe anymore.

I wonder how long it'll be before Sakura and Ino then turn on each other...

And in other news - holy crap, we're almost to 1000 reviews! O.O Wow. I never thought my story would be this popular. You guys are great!

Any comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Hinata agrees to be my friend, but she doesn't say much else after that.

In fact, she seems intimidated - so much so that I have to question again whether or not she's really acting - by my male friends as I walk her over and introduce her as my new best friend. At this word, she squeaks, goes red, and stares over at me with big eyes.

My other friends stare at me too. "... Didn't you only just talk to her a second ago?" Shikamaru and Sasuke deadpan - _simultaneously, _and that takes talent - as they look from the red-faced Hinata to me.

I beam and nod. "Yup!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes, his lips twitching. Shino blinks at us in a vaguely exasperated sort of way and then goes back to examining the grass before him (there must be a bug there). Chouji looks between the two of us in confusion, then shrugs and offers Hinata a sandwich. Shikamaru sighs and looks back up at the clouds, muttering, "Troublesome."

And that is how Hyuuga Hinata becomes accepted as the newest member of our group. (There is the brief formality of meeting Chichi one day after school too - she claims it's starting to irritate her that she's a year younger than everyone else - but Chichi seems to find her strange and endearing. She buys her a wooden turtle, because she says the way Hinata ducks her head into her sweatshirt reminds her of a turtle, and Hinata looks confused and embarrassed but thanks her stammeringly for it several times anyway.)

Hinata is extremely shy and timid, so much so that Chouji, Chichi, and I prove to be the only ones who can really carry a conversation with her, because we're gentle and easy with her fright and self-consciousness. She doesn't seem very used to other people wanting to converse with her, or considering her worthwhile, something that makes me wondering and uneasy. "Maybe that's the Hyuuga Way," Shikamaru pointed out when I mentioned this once while she was out of earshot. "Crush or be crushed." Sasuke smirked.

Still, Hinata seems very sweet and I don't want to crush her. I learn that she makes her own herbal medicines and teas and that she enjoys origami and crafts. Once we spend a whole afternoon in the kitchens at the Mansion, which Hinata seems to think is very amazing, as she teaches me how to make herbal tea while Ko shoots around our legs chattering his mouth off. Hinata is surprisingly patient and tolerant with this. Perhaps she likes children?

Then I take her up to my room and show her all my clothes. She says she thinks they're beautiful, so I eagerly give her some, despite her stammering protests. In return, she insists on teaching me how to make origami figurines to decorate my room with. We leave as good friends, and Hinata even comes to school the next day in a nice sweater and tight black pants instead of her former baggy, blah clothes.

Nonetheless, she remains very reserved and unsure of herself and her place in the grand scheme of things. I worry about this privately with my other friends, until they finally just suggest the logical solution: ask Hinata to show us around her clan compound. "She's so nice, she won't ask if we refuse," Shikamaru says, shrugging. "That way, we'll be able to see for ourselves what her home is like."

Sasuke protests going to what Chouji and I sometimes colorfully call the Dickhead Compound, after some of the more colorful members of our respective families, because his family and the Hyuuga have always been rivals because of their rivaling doujutsu. When Shino points out we won't be going in trying to make friends with the Hyuuga - "on the contrary, we're secretly testing them for inferiority" - he reluctantly gives in, and I mouth 'thanks' to Shino behind his back. Shino nods to me in return, raising his eyebrows frankly.

**_[Scene Break]_**

So the next afternoon after school at the Academy, Chichi meets up with us and Hinata takes us all in the direction she says her clan compound is in. She seems extremely nervous. "N-now, we have to go through the back entrance," she stammers quietly, looking at us uncertainly, "and be very quiet, because I don't know if you're supposed to be here."

"Dangerous," I say, tossing my head and grinning. "I like it."

Hinata looks at us sideways. "Y-you're sure you're okay with that?" she asks us quietly.

"Of course," says Shino matter-of-factly. "Danger is invigorating."

Our other friends seem to agree with this as well, so Hinata has no choice but to silently lead her curious new friends down the city out of town - recognizing our various statuses, a few civilians bow to us as we pass, calling us by name (even me) and we smile or nod - and down the dirt roads, to the great walls surrounding the compound. "Around here," she whispers, and creeps silently around. Hinata, we have seen in glimpses already, specializes in fast taijutsu, stealth, and observation with her eyes. We try to follow her example, although I wonder what use it'll be if we're trying to sneak around a clanful of people who can see through walls.

As soon as we enter through the tall back gates, though, I can see with a grin why Hinata wanted us to go by the back entrance. We'll just blend in with the crowd - _everyone _seems to go through the back entrance. A stream of servants are moving around, working, and leaving to and fro through this crowded part of the compound, which is cheerful and kind in its own quiet sort of way. But Hinata pulls us into one of the nearby wooden buildings with rice paper screens that seem to surround the main courtyard in a huge, vast circle. She leads us through a complex, quiet series of wood-paneled hallways, with rice paper screens open occasionally to catch snatched glimpses of the places beyond. Work stations intermixed with herbs gardens out in the courtyard... small, bare rooms with families kneeled around square wooden tables, eating together, inside... behind me, Sasuke and Shikamaru look bored, but I am fascinated. I've never really had a glimpse of what a normal, traditional clan is like before.

Then we seem to hit another part of the compound, and sudden the atmosphere changes.

A beautiful, glittering fountain out in the courtyard... carefully planted trees with carefully trimmed branches and leaves... within, long vast tables with stuffy-looking wealthily-dressed people sitting along them every so often, eating in silence... specially made training rooms with doors that remain firmly shut... "This is more what I expected it to look like," I hear Chouji whisper, and I nod silently, staring around at the difference.

Before us, Hinata winces by a fragment of light. "The half of the family that appears in public is the wealthy half of the family," she whispers back. "The other half of the family serves us."

They divide the family in half between servant and leader at birth? Even Sasuke seems vaguely surprised, frowning, at this... But before we have too much time to dwell on it, Hinata suddenly turns, opens one screen, and slips inside. After a moment, she gestures for us to follow her. "My room," she murmurs.

Hinata's room is soft and done all up in muted shades of blue. Her bed and walls are soothing, and various crafts and art decorations adorn its walls rather artistically. There are a few books and training implements on a bedside table. On a kneeling-table before her bed in the room is a vase full of flowers and a delicate little china cup that smells of the herbal tea she makes. "Pretty..." I say gazing around me and smiling.

Hinata smiles and blushes, looking downward. "I-I'm glad you like it..." she says, fiddling with her fingers.

"It's girly..." Shikamaru sighs behind me disconsolately. Chichi pokes him in the side to silence him.

Nevertheless, once we all sit down around Hinata's table we start to have fun. I start a game where Shino sits in the center of the table with his eyes closed and his bugs out around him. Then the rest of us sit out around him and take turns quickly stomping our feet on the floor from different places in the room to see if he can feel us out and send his bugs there just by the vibrations. If we're caught, the bugs tickle us until we laugh before they fly off again. They're very good at this. Giggling Hinata quickly proves to be very ticklish, and they even get Sasuke to laugh out loud once. Before long, we're into the game, laughing and shrieking and stomping, and even Shino's smiling there on the table, having a good time -

When behind me, the door slides open and slams against the wall.

Everyone in the room goes silent, staring at the door. We didn't realize what a racket we had been making... Slowly, I turn around to see a man I recognize nervously as the Hyuuga leader, Hinata's father, standing above me. His face is cold and emotionless, but even with that it manages to be stormy. His cold, empty grey eyes are the kind that can silence a room without a whisper.

"What," he says in a quiet, deliberate tone of voice, angry stones behind every word, "is going on here?" He looks around at us, and his gaze ends by landing on Hinata. She flinches and looks down, going dark red. There's a heavy silence.

"I thought I told you," he continues after a moment, "that you are not allowed to have friends here. _Especially_," his face sneers slightly, "these friends." Both Sasuke and I dare to look up and glare at him at this, but he ignores us. "You are enough of a disappointment to me already, Hinata," the man says coldly, stepping away. "Send them out. Do not let me catch you distracting yourself from your home training like this again. There is a reason you were sent to the Academy. This is not it."

He slams the door again, and Hinata flinches, still gazing down at the floor, tiny and bow-headed.

We gaze at her silently with new understanding, a stark silence in the room

_**[Scene Break]**_

The scene at the Hyuuga compound is never mentioned by any of us again, yet somehow it still hangs over all our heads, affecting our relationships with Hinata in different ways.

I am angry and indignant, but helpless to do very much about our problem. Instead, I stay close to Hinata at school, telling her what a great friend she is, and I invite her over to my house often. I am not sure what else to do.

Shikamaru and Chouji are more understanding of her shy self-consciousness, and Chichi and Shino are as even and calm as they always are. But Sasuke's reaction is most unexpected. He seems to take Hinata on as his new personal sparring partner, training with her often after school and pushing her to fight and do better each time. It's as if he has taken Hinata's father's claim that she is a disappointment, not good enough, as a personal insult. The more he pushes Hinata at first, the more self-conscious and clammed-up and stressed she becomes, until one day I finally make a recommendation to her: to channel it more effectively, take that stress and use it to attack him back the way he attacks her. It seems like the kind of thing Megumi would say.

It seems to work, because after this Hinata's ability under stress slowly starts to improve, which helps her infinitely, not just against her fascinating spars against Sasuke, but against all of the rest of us as well. He pushes her to be faster and calmer, and in turn she pushes him - fighting Hinata with her doujutsu is very hard for Sasuke until one day, during a spar, when his own Sharingan suddenly appears. I'm not sure if he would even have realized it happened had Hinata not stopped, staring at him with her veined Byakugan, in mid-attack, and I not screamed, jumping up in delight.

Sasuke rushes to the nearest river and stares down at his reflection for a few moments. A terrible kind of fierce triumph comes over his face, slowly fades away, wild happiness replaces it, that fades away, and then he just stares and stares, as if he is not sure what to do with himself. Finally, he looks up to the rest of us. "Thank you," he whispers, his fists clenched, but he seems to be saying something more.

I hope it is a vindication that training with friends is sometimes better than trying to do everything yourself. But I can never quite tell for sure with Sasuke.

_**[Scene Break]**_

One day at lunch just about a week later, something rather strange happens.

Sasuke has been rather quiet and distant lately, training obsessively, usually alone, to become accustomed to his new Sharingan. I have been rather worried about him. But today at lunch, he sits with us, to my relief, and while Shikamaru is cloud-watching at a distance, Shino and Hinata are talking, and Chouji is away at a nearby vending machine getting more food, he turns to me. "Naruto," he says quietly, "do you mind if I come over to your house later today?"

I look over at him. His expression is strangely neutral, and he is eyeing me carefully. "I'm the only one who's never been," he says, shrugging, somehow stiff.

Worried he might be offended, I agree amiably enough and turn back to my food. But Sasuke remains rather quiet, as if thinking hard, for the rest of the period.

_**[Scene Break]**_

Later that afternoon, I am down in the training chamber, practicing senbon training with Megumi. Ko is off doing something else with Ebisu, but by now Megumi is more my tutor that Ebisu is. I aim and throw, hitting the target, but I am nowhere near the center and I'm still too slow!

"Calm down," Megumi instructs me from off to the side. "Throw again and listen with your ears to the whistle as the senbon goes toward the target. What do you need to adjust about your aim?"

Frowning, I aim carefully, throw again, and listen - my sharp ears pick up the sound of the senbon almost tilting strangely as it goes, keeping it from hitting more toward the center. _To the right, _I think and aim again... My aim is better this time, and I smile briefly, but it's still not great.

Suddenly, the Aya I smelled coming down to our chamber clears her throat from behind us. "Naruto," she says carefully, "the Uchiha boy is here to see you." Both she and Megumi are staring at me with big eyes at this, but I straighten up and smile.

"Oh yeah! He said he was coming over today! See you later, Megumi-sensei!" And, ignoring their uncertainty determinedly, I hurry upstairs to meet him.

_**[Scene Break]**_

_Sasuke_

It is hard, I have discovered, being Naruto's friend. But not necessarily in the bad way. So much just happens around her, like she is a magnet for new people and interesting conversations and strange, sudden circumstances and revelations. In the space of a couple of weeks, I have told her about myself, befriended her, befriended five _other_ people, told off my fangirls, prowled through an enemy compound, come into close contact with an angry Hyuuga Hiashi, not only sympathized with but begun training with his daughter, trained harder than I've ever trained before, _and_ uncovered my Sharingan.

At least I'm not bored anymore.

So much has happened that only now, finally, can I come back to the reason I originally had for wanting to grow closer to Naruto: I wanted to learn more about her past.

Her home seemed a logical place to start. The place was gigantic, its wide wooden entrance hall filled with tall windows and beautiful golden paintings and an arched ceiling._ Her family must be even wealthier than mine_. The thought was bizarrely humbling for a moment.

Then I heard her footsteps behind me, and the feeling faded. "Sasuke!" she said cheerfully, and I nodded to her quietly, as unsure as I always was on what to do in the face of her whole-hearted enthusiasm. She lead me through the house, pointing and describing things as we passed. With anyone else, this would probably have been boring.

"That's the sitting room but it's really stiff and we're not allowed to go in it because _life's stupid! _And that's the kitchen where we eat, and there's the fancy dining where it's supposed to look like we eat but we really don't! And there's the stairs! Oh, but I guess that's kind of obvious, huh? They're pretty big. I've never understood why. Oh, and there's my brother's room, and the library, and a ridiculous amount of bathrooms, and Jiji's office, plus a whole bunch of rooms with no purpose because we're just that rich! Ooh, and here's another _staircase_, and that's the servants' rooms down there and Jiji's room at the other end and another bathroom and my room!" She ended on a beam, pointing at a door on the third floor. "But before we go in there, come on, I want to show you the back of the property!"

She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me through a nearby pair of double doors, out onto a tall balcony, and even my eyes widened briefly. Instead of the flat grass lawns and wrought-iron gate at the front of the Mansion, in back were beautiful gardens and even a pond. The whole property, spread, stretching, out before us. "It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked, smiling. "This is one of the first places I saw when I arrived here."

"When was that?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

The smile in her tone faded slightly. "A couple of years ago." She looked away, uncomfortable. Naruto was far too expressive in a lot of ways to be a good secret-keeper.

_A couple of years ago? _Not that long ago, then...

She looked back at me and then smiled faintly. "Come on," she said. "Let's go inside."

Naruto's room was an explosion of chaotic color and scent. Light blue walls, a window lined with flowers and ivy and filled with sunlight, colored paper lanterns filled with scented candles, origami figures, hundreds of books, a music player and CDs, a wardrobe exploding with clothes, a desk and a chair, a posterboard filled with friends and family photographs... Stretched across the ceiling was a net made of spun, shimmering gossamer thread. On the bedside table was a strange assortment of weapons, sharpener, and polish, and makeup and hair pieces. Above it was a mirror. On the back of the bedroom door was a collection what looked like taped-up bits of shiny, colored wrapping paper.

"Well..." She grinned in the middle of it all, tossing her golden ponytail up high, but underneath she seemed a bit self-conscious. She spread her arms wide. "What do you think?"

"It's very... you," I decided on honestly after a moment. The room was totally different from mine, but it had a nice feel to it. A warm, pulling, Naruto sort of feel.

"Was all this bought for you?" I asked, fishing. She nodded, smiling blissfully around her. She obviously loved her new home.

So it was all new... nothing from her former life, despite the fact that she'd lived it until she was six.

We sat on her bed for a while. She showed me her senbon, her books, and her dancing music. We talked, which was surprisingly easy. It was easy to talk to Naruto - especially since she definitely kept up more than her half of the conversation. But despite how hard I secretly looked, I find a way to ask her why her grandfather adopted her without both seeming rude and alerting her to what I was doing.

There was nothing else for it, then: I would have to look in the Konoha Shinobi Archives at the Tower.

_**[Scene Break]**_

_Author's Notes: _Sasuke's on a hunt and no one else knows it. Naruto's pulling everything together, but there's more looming on her horizon that she doesn't suspect.

Well hi everyone! So I was buried under a pile of college books for five months with absolutely no thought to this story. Then all of a sudden I got a review asking me to update this story, I thought "Oh, it's Christmas, why the hell not?" and I looked at the story... and then I wrote this entire chapter in two hours. I'm not even kidding. Maybe the break has been good for me?

So, uh, college is still eating my life, but... expect updates to be... very spontaneous? And Merry Christmas everyone!

Comments/critiques are, as always, greatly appreciated.


	28. Chapter 27

_Chapter Twenty-Seven_

_Sasuke_

The Archives were hidden within the Hokage Monument, through a little side-door in the sandstone mountain's back. Usually only registered, graduated shinobi were allowed inside its precincts, but as a member of the Uchiha Clan - _the only remaining member of the Uchiha Clan, _I had to forcefully shove the thought away - I was allowed inside by the guards of the inner wooden doors after they checked me for illusions and saw that I was who I said I was.

I entered the cool, round, arched, dimly lit cavern, with shadow-covered walls and torches in brackets. I went along the tall shelves of dusty books and scrolls, searching, searching through the records section, trying to tamp down on my growing curiosity. Finally, I got to the section on births and adoptions, went along alphabetically until I got to the 'U's, and moved my arm to the very end of the row. Past rows and rows of old names of my own clan, which I tried not to look at, until I finally got to "Uzumaki."

There were only two record scrolls: one read Uzumaki Kushina. The other read Uzumaki Naruto.

I pulled out Kushina first. To my surprise, most of her records were blocked off. **CLASSIFIED, **the huge, bolded words read in the tape sealing off sections of the document. What on earth was classified even from ordinary Konoha clan members and shinobi? From Kushina's file, I only got a picture of a red-haired woman, who actually looked an awful lot like Naruto in features, and the information that she had emigrated to Konoha as a girl but somehow managed to become a shinobi here, despite the fact that she was not a natural-born citizen. _That's... odd. Is that even supposed to happen? _I had never heard of it happening before...

She was married, though even the name of her husband was classified - which was just bizarre - and she had taken a pregnancy leave approximately a year before the Kyuubi attack. She was said to have died in the assault only ten months later. It didn't say the result of her pregnancy, but if her child had lived it would only have been a month old at her death.

Pushing the scroll back on the shelf, I opened Naruto's document... and my eyes widened.

There was absolutely nothing inside of it, not even a picture. Every inch of it was covered in dark **CLASSIFIED **tape.

I stared down at the scroll, a strange tension building within me. I was suddenly on the verge of something so much bigger than I could ever have expected. If Naruto was this classified... it meant she had a lot more secrets than I'd planned for. Would I still go after it?

My eyes scanning the scroll vaguely, they suddenly caught on one thing. Unclassified in a distant corner of the document was a section telling the weight, length, gender, name (Naruto), and blood type of a newborn baby. It was the blood type that caught my eye: B.

Different blood types only appeared in certain parts of the world, I knew that. B, for example, was one of the rarest blood types of all: it only appeared in very cold areas of the Snow and Water countries. I'd read about it once. Shoving Naruto's scroll back onto the shelf and reopening Kushina's I saw the same blood type... which meant I knew where her mother had come from!

I went over to the Water and Snow sections of the Archives, and encountered hundreds of scrolls full of complicated jutsus and katas, history, international relations, geography, maps... and finally lists of clan names, which was what I had been looking for. Uzumaki, sure enough, was on the list. Cousins of the Senjuu (I snorted at the irony), the founders of Uzu, up in the northern Whirpool Country, a tiny off-branch of the Country of Water. They had always had very good relations with Konoha... they had also been utterly decimated in the Third Shinobi War. It was unknown whether any surviving members of Uzu, let alone the Uzumaki Clan, were still alive, but none of them were in the Whirlpool Country any longer.

I felt a pang of sympathy for Naruto, and a strange, echoing connection - she, like me, was from a dead clan. Their close connections with the Senjuu might explain why Kushina had been invited into the village as a girl - but I was looking for something more.

Finally, among explanations of several remote Uzumaki Clan traditions, I caught a single name connected with Konoha: Trade of Water for Fire. (Hi Noutameno Mizu no Boueki; only a clan could have a tradition name like that.) But it was only in reference, and it explained absolutely nothing about what the tradition actually_ was_.

But there was one place I could look... the old clan compound. My clan had kept archives of all the foreign jutsu and traditions they had ever found or come across. If Konoha knew about it - the Uchiha would probably know more.

As long as I could force myself to venture back in there.

**_[Scene Break]_**

And now here I am, in the tall, pointed-roofed main building in the center of the clan compound, on the outskirts of Konoha. Empty and dark and grey and derelict, godforsaken, just like everything else here. The blood of memories screams at me from the walls. I'm not sure if this was a great idea.

At the same time, it is... comforting, in a strange way, to be back here. Like some pain inside me has eased; there is a string connecting me back here and the tension in my chest from the sensation is not as strong as it once was.

I try to focus.

I am looking along the rows of beautifully kept scrolls, brushing my fingers along familiar images in the dark, whispering silence, until at last I come to a particular scroll, pushed far and high back up on a shelf, labeled remotely 'Uzumaki.' I had no idea how I had never noticed or remembered it before.

I took down the scroll, slit open the seal - that meant it was important, I noted with mounting excitement - and began to read the description of the tradition, and the list of known connections to the tradition down below that.

My eyes got impossibly huge.

**_[Scene Break]_**

"So you're the Kyuubi jinchuuriki?" I was never one for beating around the bush.

I had waited until the next day after school to say it. I'd insisted on walking home with her, and she'd given me a slightly odd look but agreed cheerfully enough nonetheless. She looked somewhat amused - I wasn't sure if I wanted to know why that was. Now, however, I can finally have the conversation that's been distracting me (in an irritating amount) all day.

Naruto looks over at me, her eyes impossibly huge, and so scared that I feel a twisted burst of anger for the idiotic villagers. It didn't take a genius to deduce, between the Kyuubi sealing and the law after it, that this was the real reason behind the cause of Naruto's strange treatment - the treatment that has been getting better the longer she stays with the Hokage. _Disgusting, _I think vaguely, but beyond my own indignation I don't particularly care. As long as they're not my friends or interacting with my friends, they can all go screw themselves.

"Naruto," I sigh, trying not to huff because this should be obvious, trying to be... kind. "I really don't care. I just came across the information in my clan archives and thought it explained a lot," I half-tell the truth. I glance at her sideways, concerned, and underneath it assessing.

She just continues to stand there and stare at me, vulnerable. Then she blinks, as if in shock, and starts to digest what I'm telling her. We're standing in the forest before her home, and it's obvious she doesn't know what to say.

"You... you really don't care?" she finally asks incredulously, her voice small.

I scoff. "No," I say fiercely, strangely angry. "And I doubt anyone else would either, though I can understand why you wouldn't tell them."

Naruto starts and looks away, suddenly dark and closed-off. Despite myself, my vague concern starts to form into actual worry. Is this the big secret? Not a piece of the puzzle, but the whole thing? Have I hit even deeper than I meant to? The thought is curious, and piercing. "... You don't understand," she finally whispers. "Before I came here..." She takes a deep breath and glances up to look me in the eye. "My previous guardian didn't like me very much," she says, and I get the feeling she's being grim, sarcastic.

_So that's it. _Remembering that she is an orphan, some of the pieces start to fall into place. I glance at her reservedly, wondering whether to push and say anything more. "... I still think they'd get it," I finally settle on. "I do."

And I lift my head and walk past her toward the house, deciding the conversation is over.

I feel Naruto stare after me and then laugh, half-exasperated, half-incredulous. I feel a relieved sort of pang at the sound. "You," she says quietly to my back, still sounding stunned, "are _bizarre_."

**_[Scene Break]_**

_Naruto_

It's been a while since I've interrupted Jiji in his study.

There he is after work, sitting quietly at a table in the flickering warm light of the lamp, reading. The sight is familiar, comforting. Especially after the events of today. "Jiji?" I finally ask softly from the doorway.

Jiji looks up, raising his eyebrows frankly at me. "Naruto, I do believe that's the quietest I've heard you in six months. What on earth is it?"

I look away and rub at my arm, almost ashamed, but strangely unafraid of Sasuke knowing the truth. "Sasuke knows I'm a jinchuuriki. He got it from his clan archives," I mutter. I thought he should know, but I am strangely subdued. Sasuke's blunt, matter-of-fact questioning has been nagging at me all day, ever since he left, no matter how much he kept trying (in his own quiet, subtle way) to cheer me up.

Jiji stops completely for a moment and stares at me gravely. Then he sighs and sits back in his chair, lighting his pipe, one of the few signs of anxiety he allows himself in private. "... I see," he says after a few moments. When he says things like that, you can't often tell what exactly he's seeing.

"He said it was okay; he understood why I wasn't telling anyone. And he understands the law," I force out quickly, not wanting to get my friend in trouble over me.

Jiji gives me an assessing look. "Are you okay with him knowing this information?" he finally asks, honestly. "You do not feel he... invaded your privacy?"

I open my mouth, and close it again. "I do not believe he should be punished for it," I finally decide on, uncertain of the mixed feelings within me.

Jiji sighed and gazed at the ceiling, puffing out a slow ring of smoke. "Well... I was wondering about how you've been acting... that explains a lot," he finally says. I laugh shortly before I can stop myself.

Jiji raises a surprised eyebrow.

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head waterily, "it's just that... today, while we were spending time together... that's what he said."

_**[Scene Break]**_

By the time school rolls around the next day, I am better. Mornings are good, everything will probably be fine, and I have my friends to see at the Academy today and my usual training to do after school. I am strangely nervous about seeing Sasuke again, as if I am afraid he will have changed his mind about me during the night, but I tell myself to calm down; that this is irrational.

I am walking down the hall and into the alcove to the girl's bathroom before class starts when it happens. Three chakra signatures try to rush up behind me from the door in the supply closet; I smell that they're familiar and so I whirl around, use one of the kicks I've been learning in my water dancing style to sweep all their legs in one movement, sharpen chakra into my senbon and hold one threateningly to one's neck... and then blink, pausing.

Lying there below me, stunned and panting, are Ino, Sakura, and one of their new fangirlish friends. They are looking at me like Ko did the first time I swept him like that in the way Megumi had taught me. I force this thought to the back of my mind and focus on the infinitely more confusing present. (Things are always clearer in retrospect.)

"Why... why would you do that!" I finally force out in hurt and frustration, retracting the senbon and letting the three get to their feet. _I do not need this today, _the little voice in the back of my mind was growling, my temper growing. I tried to keep a lid on it.

Sakura glanced sideways at Ino. "To teach you a lesson!" Ino said fiercely, putting her hands on her hips. "You're starting to think you're so much better than anyone, Naruto!"

_"I haven't even talked to you in weeks,"_ I forced out, hurt, frustrated, and bewildered. Because I thought that was a point.

"So?" Sakura bristled, speaking up herself. She held herself up, clearly thinking she was rather brave, more pointed and outspoken than she'd ever been when we were friends. "You shouldn't monopolize Sasuke's attention like that!" She used long words when she wanted to make herself sound smart.

And as I think that, I realize I don't even like these two anymore. It's like some last invisible line has been snapped between us, and I mourn with quiet sorrow for it, even as I burn with furious anger.

"You're both crazy! Stay away from me!" I snap, my eyes flashing at them, and I force past them on down the hall.

The confrontation does do one thing: by the time I sit down in class, my face red and fuming, Sasuke is merely one of the friends staring at me uncertainly across our desks once more. I don't particularly feel like sharing, or even remaining calm.

Then I realize I didn't even have the chance to go to the bathroom and I put my head down on my desk. _Crap!_

I had the feeling it was one of those weeks.

* * *

Author's Notes: Surprise! Sorry actual updates are so infrequent. Please don't hate me.

Yes, the fact that Sasuke knows who Naruto's mother is will eventually come into play. Yes, her other friends will eventually know about the Kyuubi as well, but I thought he was the likeliest one to know earlier - I mean, Shika may be good, but he's eight and he's not a mindreader. Yes, I have been focusing on Hinata, Sasuke, and Naruto in turn in these past couple of chapters. I think they're important character dynamics and back stories to flesh out. I also thought it was important to note Sakura and Ino's transition from former friends into minor antagonists with mutual dislike here.

I swear to God, eventually we will get to a timeskip and have them be genin. _One day..._

As usual, comments/critiques are greatly appreciated.


	29. NOT An UPDATE

Story is up for re-adoption.


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